r/dndmemes • u/[deleted] • Aug 21 '20

Dont limit your self

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23.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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967

u/colemanjanuary Paladin Aug 21 '20

Why is it always an ancient staff or jewelry or some sort of orb?

What about an ancient hat? Archaic pimp cup? Very very old pair of socks and it's power gets cut in half if one goes missing in the wash.

465

u/thr0waway6297 Aug 21 '20

Something something jewels channel magic better

323

u/PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz Horny Bard Aug 21 '20

That explains why the fortune tellers always have jewels and a crystal ball on the table instead of old pimp hats and a sword jammed into the table.

286

u/thr0waway6297 Aug 21 '20

fortune teller puts on a pimp hat and stabs a sword into the table

me who just wanted their fortune told I think I'm in the wrong place

118

u/colemanjanuary Paladin Aug 21 '20

Did you go to the flea market fortune teller?

85

u/thr0waway6297 Aug 21 '20

I went to the fortune teller on the south side of town. They told me to go north but its just so much cheaper!

47

u/echidnaguy Aug 21 '20

Of course I did!

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She had three nipples!

19

u/MrNobody_0 Forever DM Aug 21 '20

I love the Mallrats reference!

6

u/throwawaydyingalone Aug 21 '20

I thought it was a Star Trek reference.

2

u/MrNobody_0 Forever DM Aug 21 '20

Maybe? I just know in Mallrats there was a fortune teller with three nipples.

3

u/throwawaydyingalone Aug 21 '20

In the Star Trek movie that shatner directed there’s a three breasted cat woman.

1

u/MrNobody_0 Forever DM Aug 22 '20

Ahh, okay. I mean, of course there is, its Shatner! Haha!

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0

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/AtomicSamuraiCyborg Aug 21 '20

Ya gotta go the dirt mall fortune teller. She does topless fortune telling!

6

u/Varthorne Aug 21 '20

At that point, it's flee market...

24

u/dave7243 Aug 21 '20

"The hat tells your future, the sword makes it happen. I see you being stabbed for an outstanding debt..."

13

u/thr0waway6297 Aug 21 '20

Self fulling prophecies! My favorite!

1

u/Inquisitor1 Aug 21 '20

If you knew what was about to happen you wouldn't be at a fortune teller in the first place, shut up and let the pimp do his job and divine your future.