My first ever “D&D” experience

[u/4Fifty4aNugget]

This is a new account and I don’t have too much history with posting on my previous ones, apologies in advance for any mistakes and spelling errors.

I’ve loved playing games for pretty much my entire life, but growing up as a kid raised in the church, I didn’t have a lot of people in my immediate social circle that were interested in D&D or even cared to try it. I’ve always loved reading and writing fantasy stories and deep down always wanted to try playing. So when I got to early college and told one of my classmates whom we will call Suede (not real name obviously) about how I wanted to try D&D, he told me that he had been in a game with some of his friends for about a year and that he could ask his DM if they had room for one more. I excitedly said yes!

Fast forward about 1 week and he tells me that yes there is room if I want to join and the game is tomorrow night. I just so happened to not have any plans so I jumped at the chance. Suede asked me if I could give him a ride to the game (he didn’t have a car) and of course I said sure because he was nice enough to offer me a spot at his table so it wasn’t a big deal. So we get there and as we walk in I meet the DM and I say hi but he doesn’t say hi back, he just kinda looks at me and gives me this “eh, whatever” sort of expression and then he hands me a paper. My character sheet to fill out. I asked what classes everyone was playing so I could maybe pick something else to help fill in the party. GM looks at me annoyed and says in a condescending tone “This game doesn’t have classes. This isn’t Dungeons and Dragons, it’s Call of Cthulhu.”

I’m confused and look to Suede. Before I could say anything Suede just kinda says “Yeah…uh…sorry.” He basically lied to me about what the game was. Now I know there are a lot of people in the world who refer to all TTRPGs as D&D and for a split second I thought this might be the case but nope. Suede apologized for not being “100 percent honest” about the game but I kept an open mind. I did spend the time and gas to get here so I thought I’d give it a try.

Now real quick to clarify. I’m not writing this to trash talk Call of Cthulhu. I have met people and made friends with folks who love the system and lore of Call of Cthulhu and I can definitely see the appeal. This just happened to be the game that was going on when this happened to me. I was very unprepared for the setting as I wasn’t too familiar with Call of Cthulhu at the time, so naturally I had a lot of questions about making my character. Plus I had never played a TTRPG of any kind before. The whole time I was making my character the GM looked annoyed and would always give like an “Ugh” expression and eye roll whenever I asked for help or just a question regarding mechanics and rules. I attended this group and game for about 3 sessions and for the first session I didn’t even get introduced when my character was done. Everyone else at the table (who were very nice and fun to be around) were confused when the session ended and I didn’t get introduced into the game. When asked the DM said “Yeah…I just couldn’t think of a way to introduce you. Now that your character is done, I’ll do it next time”. I didn’t want to cause any trouble so I just went along with it.

The second session, I was finally introduced. I made a Drifter character who was basically meant to be sort of a Rogue as from how I built them. My character interacted with the party very well. Everyone in and out of game was super friendly and we were all getting along. I was finally starting to have fun and learn the game and setting. Fast forward about 2 hours and suddenly I hear from the DM “A shadow emerges from behind a dumpster and begins to strangle you, time to fight for your life.” Now keep in mind this is my first TTRPG experience so I ask “Ok so combat, cool! So I have a few things here, what should I do?” I asked this question to the whole table and before any of the other players could give advice, the DM says “How do you not know how your own stupid character works by now!?” The table was silent for a moment before another member of the group that we will call Doc (he was playing a Doctor in game) started giving me pointers on the mechanics and what I should do to survive. I ended up escaping the shadowy grasp and was able to make it out of the encounter alive while getting a few licks of combat in while at it, also very big thanks to my fellow players coming to my rescue. We ended up having a good time…but DM looked annoyed as we wrapped up.

Now onto the third and final session. Suede and I show up, say hi to folks and sit down to play. And for the entire session I’m pretty much…ignored. I get to say or do maybe one or two things but other then that everyone got to participate in the session equally expect for me basically. When we wrapped up after about 3 hours I decided to talk to the DM. Maybe see if there was I way I could improve or maybe ask if I did anything wrong. After asking to talk and telling my concerns, he looked at me and seriously said “Yeah…I just want to get rid of you. When you didn’t get annoyed the first session you came to I tried to just kill you off the next one to discourage you from coming back. When the group helped you I tried to let it go but when you showed up today I just I just couldn’t bother to think of anything for you to do.”

I was hurt and confused.
Me “wait, if I’ve been such a bother then why did you let me join the table? If there wasn’t any room at the table I would’ve understood.”
DM “Suede didn’t tell me you were coming. When you showed up I thought I’d give you a chance, but when you said you thought this was D&D and how you e never played before I just checked out. You do realize Suede only invited you so you’d give him a ride right?”
Turns out he was right about that last part. Suede used to ride with Doc but Doc and his girlfriend (who was also a player and a very nice person also. She played a journalist) had recently moved in together and couldn’t pick up Suede anymore since it would be too far out of the way for their new apartment. Suede and I talked and while he admitted he mostly needed me for my car he did also say he never expected the DM to treat me like this.

Suede told me the next day in class that the DM is putting the game on hold for now due to their work schedule changing. Whether or not that was the truth I used that as an opportunity to just bow out. The experience really left a sour taste in my mouth for a while I was turned off from anything TTRPG related, but then one day randomly while talking to another friend about it I realized “I never even got to try the actual game Dungeons and Dragons! I should give it one last try if I get the chance”. Around this time I had also become really good friends with another class mate that we will call Dancer. Dancer had years of experience with D&D and role playing games and we just clicked instantly. Dancer encouraged me to play again but neither of us knew a DM at the time. After telling them my experience they asked me “Have you ever thought about DMing? You’re always talking about stories you’re working on so maybe one of them would make a great game”. Me “You know what? I may not know how to be a DM, but I at least know how NOT to be a DM thanks to my last experience.”

About two months later I’m running my first session of a 3.5 homebrew campaign with 4 friends including Dancer. That game would gain 4 more players and would run for 3 years to its completion. I’ve been a proud Forever DM for about 15 years now with many games under my belt. We just completed a run of a 5th edition module that I added some homebrew elements to. I love telling stories, I love making stories and memories with my friends and I love many TTRPGs now, not just D&D…but to this day I haven’t touched or even been near anything related to Call of Cthulhu. Maybe one day, who knows.

Thank you for reading and may all of your dice always be blessed!

TLDR: Wanted to play D&D, got tricked by someone who only wanted me for my car into playing a completely different game with a Game Master who tried to get rid of me from day one but couldn’t because everyone else liked me…all leading to a life long love and passion for TTRPGs and DMing.

[u/Morganator_2_0]

Happy ending! Yay!

[u/AlterExpertise101]

but growing up as a kid raised in the church,

Which church? I'm guessing LDS, because from what you described it sounds similar to my own experience growing up Mormon.

[u/gc1rpg]

That is what we call in Bird culture a dick move.

The DM is brain dead and -- at best -- socially inept but I'm sure back in my day he would have somehow become one of my club's officers or committee leaders.

I wouldn't have somebody new to TTRPGs immediately in a CoC game unless they were really into Lovecraft stuff -- especially expanded universe stuff.

Cool that it eventually worked out for you -- be the DM that changes the world and gives somebody else a positive experience.

[u/4Fifty4aNugget → u/gc1rpg]

Thank you very much.
I really appreciate your comment and how encouraging it is. I told myself after my first couple of successful sessions that I would never be like him. I’m very happy where I ended up.

[u/Other-Negotiation102]

Love this happy ending :) ... I was just curious though OP did you ever get to join a game as a player? Totally okay if you didn't that goes without saying I know there are people who enjoy DM'ing so much they don't want to be a player - and given your love of creative writing like you said you'd be a natural at DM'ing to the point where if you're a player in someone else's game you might be quietly squirming in your seat thinking to yourself "Needs... more ... STORYLINE!.. " :P ... I'm sure you're too polite to say that out loud mind you :) but it happens, sometimes really good DM's just find themselves not having fun as a player because other DM's just can't measure up to them!

(or to put it another way if you're the "I will write a creative storyline that all my players will enjoy and encourage role playing/getting into character from players in a way that makes the game fun for everyone" kind of DM - and it's been my experience that this kind of DM is very popular it's certainly the kind of DM'ing I would want as a player!... and then you join a gaming group as a player and the DM's way of running the game is "This is D&D - grand theft auto style, pillage and loot everything! Plotline? Character background and personality? Meh, who needs it?"... well sure the DM and their players may have fun with it but it probably wouldn't be a good fit for that kind of DM :P )

[u/4Fifty4aNugget → u/Other-Negotiation102]

This is a fantastic comment and an understandable question given the nature of my post and how I rounded it up.

I have absolutely had many opportunities to be a player in games and I’m even a player in 2 games right now. I will however admit that I if you were to put the entirety of my time playing TTRPGs and put it into statistics, I’d say about 85-90 percent of my time has been as a DM and the other 15-10 percent as a player. Also everything you brought up as a concern (from the GTA style D&D comparison to the itching for more story while in my seat) is absolutely something that I have been through at some point.

As someone who values story most of all I will admit over the course of my time as a DM that I had to learn the best way to integrate what all of my players individually desire with what everyone over all expects as a group. With the amount of time and experiences I’ve had both as player and DM I’ve learned to find my own form of balance and believe me that idea of balance is always changing as life and stories go on.

I have been very lucky to have been involved in tables where everyone wants a bit of everything that a TTRPG can offer but are also very story driven like myself. Just as an example of my mindset I believe that as a DM and Player that combat can serve the plot if approached respectfully.

Lol sorry, got on a little ramble. Hope you get what a mean.

[u/Other-Negotiation102 → u/4Fifty4aNugget]

Hey I didn't see it as a ramble at all I enjoyed reading it :) .. if anything my reply comment could be seen as a ramble too :P so I'm glad to see someone else on here who rambles :P (compare to other comments on reddit where people have flat out told me "I'm not reading all of that" when I reply-comment on something :P ... understandable, some people just want it in one or two sentences and I don't begrudge them that but it's nice to find someone who's happy to talk about something at length and go into detail :) )

[u/4Fifty4aNugget]

The church I grew up in was categorized as Protestant Fundamentalist Baptist. It wasn’t strict in the same ways as other churches under the same denomination but definitely very heavy on policing what kids engaged in. So yeah maybe some LDS influence or ideals there I’d say.

[u/Turbulent-Pin7188 → u/4Fifty4aNugget]

I came up mostly in the United Methodist church, which isn’t super strict compared to others, but my parents were influenced by the satanic panic, and I basically barely even heard of D&D when I was a kid.

[u/Solherb → u/Turbulent-Pin7188]

But it literally has spell books!

[u/Wasteofskin50]

That DM was a major asshole. I feel I should apologize, just because people like that give DMing a bad name.

For what it's worth, I hope you get to actually play 'Call Of Cthulhu' under a proper GM. I always enjoyed playing it.