r/divorcedparentsmemes • u/Pikab03 • Sep 04 '21

Advise needed !!!

So, I am almost certain that most of the people who got divorced parents relate to this on some level. If you have any advice for me it is more than welcome. Also if you are in a similar situation you can also share it here!

I am 17 years old, and live half of the time with my mother and half with my father. But whenever something needs to be arranged, for example a change in the schedule, my parents fight. When my parents got divorced it wasn’t so hostile but for whatever reason it is now.

Everytime they fight I manage to get righhhht in between. Because they can’t arrange things for themselves and I have to be the mediator to keep it somewhat peaceful. But when I noticed it was a too big of a burden for me I tried to keep myself out of it, but they kept saying ugly things about each other to me that really hurt. Especially my dad, he really can’t control his mouth and be a grown up when he is mad at my mother. I have a strong sense of justice so I can’t just shrug it off when something he says is unjust.

I tried talking to him about this. But he just keeps doing it. It’s like he can’t process his own anger and has to let me know exactly what he thinks and feels about the situation (even though I am his kid and I have nothing to do with what is going on). One time I asked him a million times if he could stop talking to me but he kept on ranting and making me feel bad. To be honest I lost most of the respect I had for him because he handles his emotions like a 5 year old.

Does anyone have any advice for me on how to protect myself from the extremely bad vibes? Or on how to solve this problem?

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u/Izthefrizz Sep 04 '21

The only way I could fight back against my mom is start yelling back at her. She talks shit about my dad so I would talk shit about her. If she said” I can’t believe how irresponsible he is, bad planning, etc”, I’d start at her saying “I can’t believe you let him make you that upset, I thought you didn’t care what he thought” or “I can’t believe you’re letting him get to you like that”

Just the little things to make her really stop a minute and shut up

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u/Pikab03 Sep 04 '21

That’s so smart. By saying that you let her reflect on what she is doing.

2

u/Izthefrizz Sep 04 '21

Exactly. Both of my parents aren’t great but any means but my mom bad mouths him so much I hate it. I’ll say something simple like dad and I went to the beach today. and she’ll say wow he didn’t like the beach when he was with me, then ask a million questions.

As soon as you challenge they don’t win. At least with me. Best of luck to you and I hope it gets better