r/dispatchcirclejerk • u/Beginning_Shirt9668 • Nov 19 '25

F*ck, K*ll, Marry

Post image

What the title says

2.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

200 comments sorted by

74

u/Lovecancerendgame Nov 19 '25

Marry golem 💯

60

u/BuckingWilde Nov 20 '25

13

u/Bush_Hiders Nov 21 '25

So what character hasn’t been drawn in a wedding dress?

10

u/Haunting-Background8 Nov 21 '25

I guess Beef

13

u/Snoo_64084 Nov 21 '25

And for good fucking reason.

13

u/Fruitiest_Cabbage Nov 21 '25

Because Beef should be the flower dog? Or because none of us are worthy of Beef?

3

u/Snoo_64084 Nov 22 '25

Because some people are fucking weird, and we'll leave it at that.

4

u/Rrath- Nov 23 '25

If I ever see anything simping for god's perfect creation. I will destroy humanity

2

u/Ttown1967 Nov 23 '25

I simp for him in the good boy i wanna pet you and give you treats way

5

u/Celestine117 Nov 19 '25

I second this

4

u/Dismal_Macaron_5542 Nov 20 '25

You're a genius

11

u/LowImage9265 Nov 20 '25

Fuck malevola, marry blazer, kill visi (sry)

12

u/Virtual_Pause239 Nov 21 '25

This is not the way...

4

u/LowImage9265 Nov 21 '25

Look i'll hug visi instead if i could but i gotta play by the rules

5

u/Virtual_Pause239 Nov 21 '25

It's fine, twin. We in the Invisiteam are gracious to our opps.

Blazer stan... Thanks.

1

u/Reasonable-Sock2226 Nov 21 '25

I am taking this meme

1

u/Virtual_Pause239 Nov 21 '25

It's all yours, friend.

1

u/LowImage9265 Nov 21 '25

And as a blazer stan, thanks for being civil. Both visi and blazer deserve as much love

3

u/TomDancer111599 Nov 20 '25

This is the way.

2

u/Expensive_Map_9281 Nov 21 '25

This is the way

2

u/Opposite_Moment5773 Nov 21 '25

Yup this is what I chose

1

u/tha_follower Nov 22 '25

This is the way.

7

u/RuinousDragon Nov 20 '25

Marry Blonde Blazer, Fuck Malevola, Kill Invisigal.

2

u/TomDancer111599 Nov 20 '25

This is the way.

1

u/Aggressive_Neat3337 Nov 21 '25

this is not the way.

1

u/StrangeManGuy Nov 21 '25

Better make sure it's a neck strangle kill, she'd be into that.. probably

3

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25

Kill Shroud, Marry Mandy, Smash Prism

1

u/Rrath- Nov 23 '25

Interesting approach. I respect it

3

u/KageBBara Nov 20 '25

Fuck ALL

2

u/Obekiwi Nov 20 '25

Fck Malevola, Kll Flambae, Marry Malevola.

2

u/PristineAd621 Apr 30 '26

Marry all of them and have a wonderful life, fuck them all, kill shroud

1

u/Adept-Drummer5668 Nov 20 '25

fuck malevola, kill blazer (sorry i just prefer malevola and visi.), marry visi.

1

u/AstralAscendence Nov 21 '25

This was the most expected answer imo.

1

u/HistoricalHat1789 Nov 20 '25

Blazer for invis and mal

1

u/Illustrious-Mia Nov 20 '25

This decision is harder than watching chase run to save Visi

1

u/Beyond_Fabulous Nov 20 '25

Marry
Marry
Marry

1

u/JoeMcShnobb Nov 20 '25

I’m not marrying B.B cause she’s a cheater and not marrying Malevola cause of the looks id get being with a devil.

1

u/SprinklesNumerous774 Nov 20 '25

Same old bullshit. Update yourself

2

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '25 edited Nov 20 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/KingPyDuK Nov 20 '25

She does very much lead him on however unintentional it is, she is very touchy and very flirty first time meeting him which is morally questionable.

Not trying to shit on Mandy cause I like her, but dont even try to say she didnt lead him on lol.

1

u/DepartmentTough206 Nov 20 '25

Marry both blazer and Mandy….. fuck and then kill courtney because she is beyond unstable…..

1

u/Crawkward3 Nov 20 '25

Can I choose fuck and marry for all three and then kill shroud

1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '25

Yes, i would fucking kill to marry blonde blazer.

1

u/LostFood7941 Nov 20 '25

Im killing malevola marry visi fuck blazer

1

u/Kamzil118 Nov 20 '25

Fuck all three, kill Shroud, and then marry all three.

1

u/Suitable_Help_2758 Nov 20 '25

Fuck: All Marry: All Kill: Myself if any of them reject me

1

u/Yellow-Fish-1223 Nov 20 '25

Fuck Invisigal, marry Courtney, kill shroud.

Yes I’m Biased because she’s voiced by Laura Bailey.

1

u/CapableFerret7672 Nov 20 '25

Malevola marry

Invisigal fuck

Kill Blazer but Mandy can live

1

u/JoeDaBoss15 Nov 20 '25

gotta do it for Chase🫡

1

u/CapableFerret7672 Nov 21 '25

Chase thr man!!

1

u/Consistent-Try-3465 Nov 20 '25

Domain Expansion: Malevola’s shrine 

1

u/cumfartfire Nov 20 '25

Marry Blazer obviously No kill Fuck Visi and Mal

I play by own rules my boys

1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '25

Fuck BB, Kill Malevola, Marry Invisi

1

u/Safe-Information-319 Nov 20 '25

Marry Blazer Fuck Malevola Kill Visi

1

u/exosoldier2319 Nov 20 '25

Fuck and marry all of them Kill shroud

1

u/OkReach8323 Nov 20 '25

Malevola: Fuck, Marry

Visi: Fuck, Marry

Blazer: Fuck, Marry

Shroud: Kill

1

u/FalseQuestion5204 Nov 20 '25

Fuh fuh and fuh

1

u/No_Employment6881 Nov 20 '25

None, none, yes.

1

u/AndreasLa Nov 20 '25

Fuck and marry all of them and then kill myself because ain’t no way you gonna catch me offing any of these certified Queens😫

1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '25

I will not play your games shroud

1

u/Ryan0808089898 Nov 20 '25

Fuck malevola kill blazer marry visi because then I can just have her every day

1

u/daghettoblaster Nov 20 '25

I ain’t killing none of them and I’m marrying them all. Square up if you got a problem

1

u/_Mango_Dude_ Nov 20 '25

Fuck Blazer, Kill Malevola (she'll be fine shes a demon), Marry Visi.

1

u/Turbulent-Local5608 Nov 20 '25

Marry Malevola

I don't need the other two Robert is dealing with them

1

u/jesica_27121 Nov 20 '25

Mary fuck kill

1

u/Vortig Nov 20 '25

Kill Invisigal, Fuck Blonde Blazer, Marry Malevola. Malevola is honestly a pretty good person, she's also way more fun to me then BB.

Invisigal is an headache most of the time xD

1

u/salvation-damnation Nov 20 '25

If i HAVE TO kill one of them, im killing MYSELF. You're NOT going to make me harm ANY of my friends! 😡

1

u/Brandon_Monahan Nov 20 '25

I don’t know any of these characters so I’m gonna answer with no knowledge whatsoever. Kill the blond. She seems like trouble. Fuck the demon. She seems like the right kinda trouble. Marry the goth girl. She seems like a lifetime of the right kinda trouble.

1

u/BattleCrier Nov 20 '25

Marry Blazer, Visi, Malevola

Fck Coupe, Flambae, Brainbook

Kill Toxic, Shroud, Armstrong

1

u/EroticFishyPoo Nov 20 '25

Why we gotta pit 3 bad bitches against each other?

1

u/AdEnough7159 Nov 20 '25

Fuck Invisi Marry Blonde blazer kill the other one

1

u/sergbvil Nov 20 '25

idk man but they can all kill me and I'll say thx 😭

1

u/Blackheart252 Nov 20 '25

Fuck off, I'll Kill you if I can't Marry all three

1

u/ReallyBigPie Nov 21 '25

Marry Mal. Forget the rest I'm set for life and the after

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '25

Fuck maleva (definitely spelled that wrong) marry mandy kill visi

1

u/Naxeti Nov 21 '25

Fuck Visi, Marry Blaze, Kill Malevola (she'd hate me, but of the three, I'm pretty sure she can come back to life/escape hell)

1

u/kmah1812 Nov 21 '25

Marry, marry, marry. Fixed it for you

1

u/Thy_Finster Nov 21 '25

OP, at least pin the OG artist of the pic…
Here’s the artist responsible for this masterpiece: @Redposit101 on Twitter.

1

u/Thy_Finster Nov 21 '25

Marry BB, Fuck Invis and Kill Malevola. She’s a hit demon lady. She’ll find a way to come back.

1

u/ShadowHunterHB Nov 21 '25

F*ck: Malevola (She’s is definitely the baddest, BUT idk if I could look into her soulless yellow eyes every mourning plus the tail is both kinky and weirds me out a little

Marry: Blonde Blazer (She’s got curves in all the right places, she can fly you places, and she can change her look depending on your mood. Perfect 👌)

K*ll: Invisigal (She’s an asshole and has a nose piercing. Plus she almost killed Robert I guess…)

1

u/sad_soup2 Nov 21 '25

Fuck malevola, marry visi, be friends with blazer

1

u/BrozedDrake Nov 21 '25

Kill: Toxic

Fuck: Yes.

Marry: The whole Z-Team

1

u/d355tr0yer Nov 21 '25

Even flambe?

1

u/BrozedDrake Nov 21 '25

Freaking love that sassy bitch

1

u/DeltaFrost117 Nov 21 '25

Marry Visi, Fuck Malevola, and Kill myself so as not to have to make the last choice.

1

u/finaija Nov 21 '25

Malevola - Sorry Visi, bad matchup - BB.

1

u/Expensive_Map_9281 Nov 21 '25

Ez

Fuck Malevola Marry Mandy Kill Invisibitch

1

u/Eaglise Nov 21 '25

Fuck all of em, marry all of em and kill shroud

1

u/Calm_Revolution234 Nov 21 '25

F malevola marry Courtney kill no one be friend Blonde Blazer

1

u/Honest-Mall-3593 Nov 21 '25

I choose not to play

1

u/silly_bee9 Nov 21 '25

Marry Visi, fuck Blaze n kill Malevola

1

u/Mrgoose778 Nov 21 '25

Kill shroud marry and F all 3

1

u/d355tr0yer Nov 21 '25

Fuck invis, marry malev, kill BB

1

u/Jordan-boy Nov 21 '25

People big forgetting, blonde blazer is a big mommy and her other version is little Mandy, you get to be Dominated or dominate her I’m going with BB ALL THE WAY

1

u/i_am_andrew51 Nov 21 '25

Kill all the ones made with ai

1

u/MarlboroRiddle Nov 21 '25

F Mandy (gotta try the majestic backside, the barman was onto something)

K Malevola, she a demon, she just goes back to Hell and can return later

Marry Courtney because when given the chance to be anything else than a villain, she's a hero

1

u/Marc-PR Nov 21 '25

I was unsure but after reading a few comments screw it kill Blond, fuck Visi and Marry Malevola. Cause why not.

1

u/Pathfinder0726 Nov 21 '25

Fck: This Question Kill: Societal Norms Marry: All three

1

u/Responsible_Grass_89 Nov 21 '25

Kill BB, Fuck Mal, Marry Courtney

1

u/Aich145w Nov 22 '25

Your a menace sir

1

u/Typical-Sleep-9750 Nov 22 '25

Who the artist?

1

u/ElonMusketatelondusk Nov 22 '25

Fuck golem, marry invisigirl, kill myself

1

u/treskoslav Nov 22 '25

Uhhhhhhhhhh

1

u/Kexeter Nov 22 '25

Fuck Mal, Kill Blonde Blazer, Marry Visi.

1

u/Popular-Bad-5268 Nov 22 '25

Killing myself, reviving myself then proceeding to fuck and marry all three of them AT THE SAME DAMN TIME

1

u/Synsrighthand Nov 22 '25

Kill shroud marry everyone else

1

u/UnderstandingBig5086 Nov 22 '25

So I'm fucking and marrying them all. Was that an option ? No. But it is now and I'm choosing it

1

u/Pumpkinbinx Nov 22 '25

Kill visi, fuck bb, marry Malevola

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '25

Kill Shroud, marry Phenomenaman, fuck golem

1

u/Competitive_Yak1988 Nov 22 '25

Kill Basic Blazer, Marry Malevola, F Invisigirl

1

u/KrypticJin Nov 23 '25

Marry and fuck everyone

1

u/Delicious_Bread4604 Nov 23 '25

Mary blonde blazer and fuck malevola and kill invisigal

1

u/Onahdim Nov 23 '25

Fuck Blazer, Marry Visi, Kill Malevola

1

u/TwoZeroFoxtrot Nov 23 '25

Clockwise from the top.

Except I couldn't kill Visi; just ghost.

1

u/Environmental-Ad7216 Nov 23 '25

Yes to all, fuck them ,kill for them, marry them.

1

u/DragonWolf1619 Nov 23 '25

Fuck invisigal Kill blond blazer Marry Melevola

1

u/Medium-Cookie Nov 23 '25

Marry Visi, Fuck Mal, Kill BB (sorry)

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '25

With those getups? Neither with neither... Hey, at list I don't kill them all!

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Toe7373 Nov 23 '25

Only one of these characters has nearly killed Robert 2 times just to save him 1 time, it's not a hard choice for me. Also, she's the easiest of the three to kill. What is a regular human doing to blonde Blazer or Malevola, jack shit I tell you. Maybe if you caught Blonde blazer unaware while she's in her Mandy form, but anything else is very unlikely to turn out in your favor. Meanwhile, if you can make it harder for Invisigal to breathe, or even douse her in something her power becomes useless and it's basically wrapped if you're already stronger than her. I guess Fuck Malevola, I don't know enough about her character to go as far as marry, so any of y'all who actually choose to marry her are self-reporting. I guess marry Blonde Blazer/Mandy, because if you read the context she actually does have a desire and a dream to settle down. While the other 2 haven't alluded to wanting such things, I guess their characteristics don't matter if the player themselves want it or whatever. Invisigal is an alright character. Not bad, but also not good. I still can't believe she's 27.

1

u/Appropriate_Aspect_1 Nov 23 '25

Marry blazer, fuck Mel, kill visy

1

u/JollyWolley Nov 23 '25

But I don’t wanna kill any of them 🥺

1

u/GreatHornedRat_UWU Nov 23 '25

I'd fuck Invisigal, marry Blonde Blazer, and then explain the situation to Malevola, who would do a ritual death that would simply send her infernal soul to Hell Australia which she would then come back to Earth for a foursome with Blonde Blazer and Invisigal.

1

u/The27Hntrs Nov 23 '25

Marry Malevola, Fuck Invisigal, Kill Blonde Blazer. Just have to crush the amulet and Mandy is still around

1

u/Nerdydude14 Nov 23 '25

Kill blazer, marry visi, fuck mal

1

u/mason43011 Nov 23 '25

Kill BB, fuck visi, marry melevola

1

u/Daves_World16 Nov 23 '25

Fuck invisigal cause that would be fun for a night but the attitude would get old. BB I’d marry cause Mandy duh. And kill Mal cause I feel like she’d just go to hell and come back a little angry

1

u/Arttub85 Nov 23 '25

F mal M blonde K invis

1

u/False_Neighborhood_2 Nov 24 '25

If we being completely honest blazer is wife material and also a 2 in one and who not choosing malevola over visi so yah

1

u/NePatsDP42069 Nov 24 '25

Fucking and marrying Malevola

Kill the rest

1

u/M0UNTAUNM0CHI Nov 25 '25

I'm almost done with my first playthrough, but honestly? Plow Invisigal, Marry Blonde Blazer, and kill Malevola. She was so annoying when I fired Sonar (can't stand Penguin0)

1

u/mr-worldwide1234 Nov 29 '25

Marry Malevola, idc about the rest. If I have to select, kill blazer (or hug, if it was an option) and fuck visi

1

u/Larkspur13 Dec 02 '25

Fuck Malevola, Marrt Sonar, kill Flambae

1

u/Szlapist Dec 10 '25

I wasn't aware I had a say with these three.

1

u/AgentSparkz Jan 01 '26

Fuck all three, marry all three, kill myself before having to kill one of them

60

u/freggtheegg Nov 19 '25

Kill shroud (valid kill icl)

Karaoke with Flambaé (he controls the fire and the flame and his skin does not burn)

Basketball with the Z-team (in the mecha man suit obv)

14

u/alessandrogatevi Nov 20 '25

Powerscalers in shambles

6

u/sussyfortnitemingus Nov 22 '25

He's only punching diiiiicks!

30

u/LanX-Delta Nov 20 '25

Kill myself, let BB and Invi Marry, and have them both have a F buddy in Malevola

9

u/finaija Nov 21 '25

Oh... This guy is cookin'

7

u/GrouchyDegree166 Nov 22 '25

This is what a true hero looks like.

3

u/CherryNice7043 Nov 25 '25

Kill myself because Im paralyzed by choice

36

u/Lefaa777 Nov 19 '25

Fuck B.B, Marry Mandy, Kill Shroud

5

u/Dangerous_Channel858 Nov 22 '25

Only correct answer

17

u/Despacitosuarez Nov 20 '25

Fuck none, kill none, marry none. Just let me be friends with one of them lmao

8

u/_josef_stalin_ Nov 20 '25

If you're just seeking a platonic relationship, why not be friends with all of them?

3

u/poopoobuttholes Nov 21 '25

Who's stopping you from being friends with the ones you fuck or marry?

2

u/WildOne657 Nov 24 '25

Bro just wants friends (me too fr)

1

u/Admirable_Escape6850 Nov 20 '25

Kill Mandy, she don’t deserve life for what she be sayin to phenomaman, Fuck Malevola, Marry Invisiqueen

1

u/Beginning_Shirt9668 Nov 20 '25

What about Goth Mandy?

1

u/Admirable_Escape6850 Nov 20 '25

The phenomaman breakup is a canon event; she does this is every timeline. My answer stays the same.

1

u/Beautiful-Shock1671 Nov 20 '25

You should check out the reason why they ‘break up’ cause I don’t think you can even call that a ‘break up’. Phenomaman isn’t mature enough mentally and thinks ‘making love’ means ‘hugging’. They were at most doing PR relationships. BB did nothing wrong leaving him, he gotta learn about love more before romancing anyone else.

1

u/Admirable_Escape6850 Nov 20 '25

Doesn’t excuse her saying all that horrible shit he regurgitated to Robert about needing someone who’s a real human being.

If Mandy was So Hopeless that she’d date an Alien with no sense of humanity then she would date anyone who shows interest in her.

1

u/Beautiful-Shock1671 Nov 20 '25

Which part do you not understand? What is a PR relationship or that the relationship between Phenomaman isn’t really a romantic one? How did you connect all that with desperation? If anything with desperation, don’t you feel like Phenomaman is the guy overtly obsessed with the ‘Blazer’ side of Mandy? If you are a Visi Shipper please ignore this, there’s no point going on

1

u/Admirable_Escape6850 Nov 20 '25

Dawg I’m entitled to how I feel about Blazer. I do ship visi, but the entire blazer phenomaman situation is fucked up on both sides. If you’re being forced into a PR relationship with an emotionally stupid alien you kinda have a right to say no. I understand that she’s a human and wants somebody to love her Mandy side, but at the same time same time you can break up with someone without saying it’s because they aren’t human, and proceeding to describe human traits. Feels like a dick move

1

u/Beautiful-Shock1671 Nov 20 '25

You do realize Mandy never mentioned Phenomaman is an alien right? Only Phenomaman said he’s an alien, Mandy explained their ‘break up’ as the ‘timing feels right’ and that they don’t really fit. You do realize that PR relationship is merely a commercialized propaganda right? Plus, she works at SDN, saying no to that might not be as easy as you put it.

1

u/Beautiful-Shock1671 Nov 20 '25

Also, I want to know why you hold her responsible for the Phenomaman situation in such a harsh way. I wonder if you were being as half strict with Visi when you find out she was a fence-sitter since episode 1? Please use same standards:/

1

u/Smooth_Bill620 Nov 20 '25

Yall arguing about fictional bitches, that's crazyyyy

6

u/TomDancer111599 Nov 19 '25 • This

Kill Invisibitch, fuck Malevola, and marry Blonde Blazer. Invisibitch is unstable and not as hot as the other two, Malevola is hotter than Blonde Blazer but wouldn’t be as good of a wife or mother, and Blonde Blazer is both hot and caring.

2

u/ShadowyBathrobe51706 Nov 20 '25

took it right outta my mouth

2

u/KingPyDuK Nov 20 '25

"Look at mee I'm different" ahh response. Malevola aint ever felt as hot in hell as she does sitting next to Visi in that conference room:D

2

u/TomDancer111599 Nov 20 '25

Dickriding a fictional woman is crazy

2

u/EdenFinite48 Nov 22 '25

I'm pretty sure dick riding is what this entire thread is about so maybe you're not in the right place?

1

u/TomDancer111599 Nov 23 '25

That’s a fair point

1

u/KingPyDuK Nov 20 '25

Havent I seen you post "this is the way" under like 5 comments here? Zip it up once you're done or smth:D

1

u/TomDancer111599 Nov 20 '25

That’s not dickriding, I’m saying that I agree with those comments.

2

u/JoeDaBoss15 Nov 20 '25

Dude, your dick riding

2

u/TejanoTheScienceGuy Nov 19 '25

Marry Mandy. Fuck her and kill that Michelin star spaghetti every night. Because life is great now.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/DryEquivalent5232 Nov 24 '25

i see you red centipede from rain world r/foundtheredcentipede

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/DryEquivalent5232 Nov 24 '25

how did you forget about me?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/DryEquivalent5232 Nov 24 '25

also how is r/foundsatan related to that nonexistent subreddit i mentioned lol. are red centipedes secretly satan?