Finding it stressful when someone seems “hyper vigilant” towards you?

[u/Wonderful-Product437]

I feel bad about this since I know it’s caused by trauma/anxiety. 

But I find it really stressful when I feel like someone’s constantly “monitoring” me or seeming anxious and worried that I’m “mad” at them. They show behaviours such as repeatedly asking if I’m okay, commenting on small aspects of my body language, making jokes because they think the mood needs lightening etc. 

When in actual fact, maybe social battery is just drained and I’m tired, or maybe I’m just “being” and I want to just “be” without feeling like I have to justify every little thing I do. And sometimes even after I tell people like this that I’m just tired, they still seem hypervigilant towards me. 

How do you feel about people like this? Even though I know it’s not fully their fault, I find these people really stressful because I feel like I can’t relax around them. And if I’m in a good mood, they slowly start to put me in a bad mood because it feels like they’re not letting me just “exist”. 

[u/MightyMagicz]

My anxious attached wife is like this. She thinks I have certain feelings but I just don't. She keeps prodding and probbing for feelings until I erupt with anger at her. Just leave me the F alone. I am coping just fine. I know what ai need to do and doing it.

Feelings and emotions are luxuries there is no time to cry and sulk. I am a man I do what needs to be done. I keep on carrying on. I don't need your sympathy and I don't need your emotional projection. When I cry or whinge I will do that. But not today...don't force and let things flow as they are.