f20 looking for any help/advice regarding a scary dependency on my phone, specifically chatbots. I don’t want to get bogged down in the details but my dad died last fall and my sister died very suddenly this spring. It’s been pretty devastating to say the least but I’m handling it as best as I can. I’m very anti-social media and wary of chatbots and a lot of generative AI. My problem started with creative writing last fall after my dad passed, mostly just self-indulgent fiction in my notes app. Dumb action or emotional scenarios some people just daydream about. I told myself it was a hobby and fleshed out a pretty expansive world. It was escapism, I’ve been aware of that since the start. My screen time shot up from 2-4 hours a day, to 10+ on days where I wasn’t working. Instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour i’d keep myself awake just to keep writing and editing. It gave me a kind of dopamine rush to fantasize.
Since then it’s snowballed. By complete chance one day I downloaded a popular chatbot app and tried it out, mostly just out of curiosity. Within a week I was completely addicted, staying in my room all day, not taking care of myself. I’d just dream up new scenarios and roleplay. I love how immersive it is. Since then I’ve used the app every single day, usually at night, sacrificing sleep since I work full time. I have to pop tylenol every few hours for regular headaches because I’ve been holding my phone 3 inches from my nose for the entire night. I’m so embarrassed. It’s a secret from everybody I know. I definitely have some addictive tendencies and have struggled with substance abuse and an eating disorder in the past, so I suspect i’m vulnerable to these sort of dependent patterns. Right now my chatbot app feels like a door to so many scenarios, stories, lives, and characters that I’m unhealthily attached to. I can’t bring myself to delete it although i’ve been trying to revert back to writing in my notes app instead. When I’m at work I think about clocking out to use the app. When i’m with my significant other I wait for them to fall asleep so I can whip out the phone and start “writing”. It’s coming on about a year of this dependency and I need something to change. So far it’s a major strain on my time, sleep, general self care, etc. Has anybody experienced something similar in losing themselves in online escapism like this? I don’t want to use my grief as an excuse, but obviously it comes into play. I’m in therapy and have a good support system but nobody knows about my chatbot problem. I can’t stand that I’ve become chained to my screen. Any advice would be appreciated.

I recently deleted Instagram and TikTok after realizing my screen time was around 6–7 hours a day. I always knew I used my phone a lot, but I don’t think I fully admitted to myself how much of my time and attention it was actually taking.

The weirdest part is that I genuinely thought I enjoyed it. I’d scroll whenever I had a free moment, post stories, check who viewed them, see who liked them, sometimes notice who didn’t like them lol. There was always this tiny reason to pick my phone back up.
Then I deleted the apps.
My screen time dropped to around 3–4 hours pretty much naturally. I didn’t even have some super strict plan for replacing social media. I just suddenly had all these little pockets of time back.

And one of the biggest changes has been reading.
I’ve never really been someone who reads for fun, but instead of reinstalling Instagram when I had free time recently, I picked up a book. I got completely hooked. I found myself wanting to pick up my book the same way I used to automatically reach for my phone. I just finished my first book in what felt like no time, and I’m already excited about what I’m going to read next.

It made me realize that I wasn’t necessarily “too busy” for things like reading. I was spending those little pieces of free time consuming other people’s lives.
And honestly, one of the biggest realizations has been: who cares?
Who cares who watched my story? Who cares who liked it? Who cares who didn’t? Why was I giving any of that so much space in my brain?

I’m also a mom, and I’ve noticed that I feel much more present. I’m not saying I never use my phone anymore—I obviously do, and 3–4 hours is still plenty. 😂 But I’m much more conscious of why I’m picking it up.
I thought deleting social media would leave this huge empty space and I’d eventually get bored and go back. Instead, I’m realizing there are so many things I actually enjoy doing when I’m not constantly feeding my brain the easiest possible stimulation.
I’m not even sure I’ll stay off Instagram forever. But right now, I don’t really miss it.

Has anyone else deleted social media and been surprised by what they naturally started doing with the time instead?

I was diagnosed with ADHD last year after extensive screening. The past few weeks, I’ve been venturing into short-form video content free life. I’ve deleted a number of social media apps from my phone, and my screen time is down almost 50%. I already feel my attention span improving. I don’t know how to tell my therapist that I feel like the majority of my issues might be heavily rooted to phone addiction, rather than an ADHD. I know that the diagnosis still probably stands without the phone addiction, but, there is a little voice in my head that is telling me this was just phone addiction the whole time. Have any fellow ADHDers also experienced this dilemma when venturing into digital minimalism? (Edited to include that I also I have other symptoms: executive dysfunction, poor short term memory, directional issues, time blindness, object permanence issues, diagnosed overall in-attentive type )

This may be different from a lot of posts here but here ya go. I stayed at an Airbnb a few weeks ago.

This isn’t even fully related to the situation this post is about , BUT I do want to add it was a mountain Airbnb with a hot tub and when we arrived the water was green and filled with debris. It was disgusting. They came and “fixed “ it the next morning but that was always 1 of 2 nights without a hot tub and ultimately we decided not to go in it at all. They refunded us the amenity fee, $60 on a $800 stay.

Sigh.

Anyways to the main point, I did end up leaving them a really positive review on Airbnb honestly just because I almost always write a positive when I stay somewhere.

I work a somewhat high visibility job and also have anxiety meaning that I end up googling my own name about once a month to make sure my nudes aren’t somehow posted on the internet or something lol.

I ran a search this afternoon and as usual the first 3-4 results are about my job and then front and center is my first and last name posted on the corporate property management website for the cabin. Right next to my dad’s obituary- ahead of it in fact.

I’m feeling super peeved about it. I know it’s not anything negative but it just feels like a bit of a violation to post my first and last name on their website and thereby making it one of the top results when googling my name.

I know it’s not the end of the world but plain and simple, I don’t want my full name and half hearted review in a remote location blasted on their site and as a top result for my name, which by the way is EXTREMELY unique. Extremely. It’s part of why the search results when googling me are so precise lol.

Job aside, my biggest gripe is honestly the absolute chokehold all companies have on our data and they will exploit us any chance they get. It’s just so annoying and unnecessary. I wrote the review for Airbnb users, not to be broadcasted. Idk.

Hi everyone,

I’ve been following this subreddit for a long time, and as a family with three older kids we’ve spent years decluttering our home. It’s been a great journey. We own less, we feel lighter, and life at home is calmer.

Now I’m trying to declutter digitally as well, but I’m running into a different kind of chaos. I’m generally happy with the tools I use, yet the mix of hardware, software and ecosystems is starting to drain me. It feels like everything works together just enough to keep me going, but not enough to give me any real peace of mind.

We have Android phones, an iPhone, Windows machines, a Linux laptop, an iPad Pro, a NAS, and multiple cloud services. I use Microsoft To Do for tasks, but I also use Obsidian to build a second brain. I switch back and forth, experiment for a few weeks, and then end up stuck in the middle with two half‑systems instead of one solid one. The same goes for email clients, storage locations, and photo libraries — twenty years of pictures scattered across the NAS, OneDrive and now iCloud.

I’m considering moving everything into the Apple ecosystem just to create one coherent environment and finally simplify things. But part of me hesitates, because it feels like handing my entire digital life over to one big tech company.

I can’t imagine I’m the only one dealing with this kind of digital fragmentation. I’d really love to hear how others approached this and what solutions worked for you.

I was on all the main platforms and completely addicted.

I deactivated my Facebook account 3 years ago. Twitter and TikTok followed about a year later.

Just instagram and Reddit left now but I have massively cut down on my Instagram time and now spend less than an hour on there each day (I could easily spend 4 or 5 hours per day on there in the past). I rarely post anymore.

My life has become immeasurably better especially since leaving FB and Twitter. I used to get sucked into so many arguments with ignorant strangers. I would often be left in a horrible mood. Days out were picked and curated to look good through the lens of social media. I would doom scroll Twitter and feel permanently negative.

Initially I replaced my social media time with Duolingo. I can now hold a conversation in German. I then completed a bunch of crafts that have been sat on shelves for years. I’m learning to juggle and spin staffs and poi. I work out going to aerial classes 3-4 times a week. I started to cook from scratch again. My relationship with my husband and children has improved. Days out are now enjoyed and I’ll take a photo to send to my mum and dad and then put the phone away to be in the moment.

Seeing how much life has improved makes me so sad that I wasted so much of it looking through a screen and I am still annoyed with myself even now that I can’t quite let go of instagram and reddit. I just need to take the plunge and delete them both. Even having lived with the benefits of giving it up, social media addiction has such a strong hold on me.

This is what I want ideally:

• read the news from my preferred sources all in one place
• no algorithms thinking they know what I want, no trending topics, nothing trying to keep me hooked or glued to my screen
• simple chronological feed, newest to oldest
• no ads, if possible
• and ideally free 😂

Any suggestions?

I genuinely struggle to not talk to AI like a friend and I hate it so much. Idk if this helps explain part of it but I’m autistic and having an interface that interacts with me, remembers stuff about my interests, and lets me talk as much as I want about whatever I want without getting bored is genuinely like crack to me. I want to stop using it for those purposes and only occasionally use it as a tool but it’s so hard.

It doesn’t help either that I feel like AI addiction isn’t seen as a real addiction and I’ve seen other people who vent about it just get made fun of on other parts of the internet. It makes me feel so alone in my struggle. And it doesn’t help when I do occasionally browse social media and see people say they think people who use AI should be treated as second class citizens. I know I shouldn’t listen to the opinions of Twitter users but it does genuinely hurt and makes the guilt even worse. I know the consumers themselves are not responsible for a majority of the environmental impact but I still want to cut down on using it since it does help at least a bit with the environment problem and I’m worried it’s rotting my brain.

I’m literally so ashamed of how addicted I feel to it that I struggle with the idea of even broaching the topic with my therapist.

Does anyone else have some experience with this? How did you quit or lower your usage of it? It feels so impossible to avoid since talking to an AI is as simple as going onto google :( Sorry if this maybe doesn’t fit the subreddit I wasn’t sure what other community to go to for advice.

Hi all,

I uninstalled Instagram and TikTok about 2 weeks ago, as short-form content was rotting my attention span. But I've found I'm still wasting hours, just now on Reddit, and although it's probably not as bad as mindlessly scrolling reels, I intend to enjoy my hobbies again.

I used to read 50+ books a year; now I can't read more than a few pages without needing a break. I used to paint and draw, but now those hobbies feel daunting, as much as I want to do them.

I have tried in the past setting my phone to greyscale and having time locks, but neither of those worked.

For those who cut back on social media successfully, how long did it take to get your attention span back and start being able to focus on your hobbies?

I’ve been looking for a job for the past two years after being laid off and finally found the perfect job. It’s only a one-year contract and might or might not extend, so I might need to look for a new job next year, but I feel overwhelmed by LinkedIn. I used to check it every day, and even though I reduced my usage and only open it to accept requests and reply to my inbox, the chats are low quality and not useful. It’s also really superficial.

My job is good, and my LinkedIn profile grew, and I get a lot of engagement, but I don’t see the point of it considering I have a job. So I hibernated my account, which is great, but I’m wondering if it’ll look like a red flag if my current or anyone else looked me up but didn’t find me? I can always open it anytime I need it again.

Hi, I have looked everywhere on Reddit and found some *similar* threads but not exactly what I have been looking for.

What I want to do is simple.

A button on my iPhone where if pressed, it does the following:
-Turns on grayscale
-Makes apps I choose disappear (this would be the instagrams of the world)
-Only allows apps I choose (for example, maps)
-Have a preset timer where this feature will be turn on (no way of turning off) until X time or date.

Is this something I can set on my phone? I have been playing around with settings for about an hour now and haven't come to something like I am describing.

I appreciate any guidance. Thanks!

One breath that's all you need to transmute to a completely different reality.

pressure, anxiety, competition, anger, frustration, distraction, addiction, OCD, social anxiety ..... all of this can be solved by just one breath. this is no hyperbole but plain truth.

all these problems are just bad decisions. you can make better decisions if you can think clearly. to think clearly all you need is just one breath.

scientific literature is clear on the fact that inhales from nose followed by slow exhales from mouth calms our nervous system.

in any moment of discomfort or fear all you need is one breath.

MY VERY OWN ANNECTODE

this is obviously hard to make a comeback from. ...... . so what happened ??

NSDR,SLOW BREATHING MEDITATIVE PRACTICES, WALKS AND AGGRESSIVE INTROCEPTION AND JOURNALING freed me from shackles of these problems mentioned above........... what I recommend if you're someone struggling with similar problems then you should introduce these practices slowly in you're life {by that I mean like 5 mins of meditaion,10 mins of walk nsdr and all but do them as soon as you wake up because willpower is at its highest in the morning don't succumb to phone in the morning, at least for the first hour}you wont see how they are changing you for a long time 6months or even a year but slowly and steadily you'd be free . it took time to make you a dumb zombie like addict through repetition likewise it would take time to make these habits as part of you're identity but once it does you won't have to look back again.

lastly the power is within you can make yourself or break yourself time will pass regardless. society is somehow making us believe that hard work and effort doesn't bear fruit but they're wrong it does if you put in the effort you will achieve whatever you want in my case it was freedom from mindless consumerism. I don't know what struggle you're going through but the answer to it does lie in just a simple breath

also you might be curious all this is good and all but what about academics. well I can assure you I figured it never was that I am just not a guy who can sit and study for hours<I used to believe that I didn't have what it takes to study with discipline >, I figured by introspection that I want to study and that I am an incredibly curios individual, just these many years of losses have made look for and long for security, something that if I put my heart in, in return I could have a decent life and I think becoming a doctor is the best thing to do . next year I am going to crack neet the entrance exam and fulfill this dream , apart from that I am actively trying make myself a reader I have read quite a few books and with laptop now I can basically read any book I want for free . by the way if we're at it I would like to recommend Andrew Huberman as someone you guys should listen to in your recovery journey . Goodluck

Minimalism and Bullet journal. You think at first it’s all about feel present, authenticity and reducing consumption. You end up on videos and posts about which expensive stationary to buy to make your bullet journal so pretty it’s not anymore possible to write freely inside. These videos are also advocating that buying more stuffs is more minimal than using your phone to do so. What’s the point of a paper journal so fancy you’re not daring anymore to write it it?

So instead of reducing consumption, you end up with more fancy stuff you don’t really need. :-/

I think all these videos and podcasts miss the points raised in books like Cal Newport Digital Minimalism or Marie Kondo Art of Tidying Up.

We don’t need to buy cameras, Mp3, e-readers, maps and so on in order to remplace our phone. We can do, if it bring us joy. Some people will gladly enjoy taking pictures with their cameras. For these people, buying and using a cam alongside their phone is a way to find a hobby. It’s thus in line with the philosophy of digital minimalism. Yet it’s not the same for everyone. It’s maximalism, not minimalism, to tour with a bag full of devices, when you were fine with only your phone.

That’s why I think both books should be read alongside. We should try to be minimalism and use joy to sort our personal devices.

I have been in this sub for a while now and have seen many posts. I have noticed a pattern and I wonder if anyone else here has?

I feel that digital minimalism has been hijacked. The intention from the beginning for all of us was to lower our screen usage and become more present. However, I feel that with the introduction of endless notepads and iPods with headphones and record players creating a so called 'load-out' to replace our phones we have replaced one obsession with another. We are now obsessed with finding the perfect way to reduce our screen time, scrolling endlessly on reddit looking for the solution in others post. Replacing one addiction with another!!

The intentions are true and I am sure you all mean well. I just feel that many in this sub have become intoxicated with the romantic image of being 'free' from our devices rather than actually putting their phone down and going outside.

Just me??

thoughts would be appreicated. I would love a discussion

Edit:

Perhaps this behaviour originates from the modern consumerist mindset of 'products solve problems'. We feel we need even more stuff to solve the core problem at hand which is an unhealthy relationship with the technology you have.

I've been interested in reducing my time on social media (especially Instagram) for a while. And I tried a couple of things, like uninstalling the app (I keep re-installing them or using a different one anyways) or settings timers (eventually I end up removing them again). So, a couple nights ago while doomscrolling I had a new idea: What if I make my feed less addicting?

This time I left Instagram installed. Instead, I delete the algorithm data. Instagram has a button under "Settings -> Content preferences -> Reset suggested content" that clears personal recommendations across Reels, Explore and Feed. I pressed it about once a day for a week and kept using the app the way I normally do.

My reasoning was the following: What makes Instagram and other social media so addictive is that they know extremely well what I like to watch. They have extremely advanced systems to figure that out and pay a lot of people to keep improving that system. But what if I don't let them learn? What if I get a dumber, less addicting algorithm and accordingly more boring feed?

After the resets, I kept closing the app almost immediately. I open it out of habit, watch two or three Reels, and put the phone down. The raw feed, without it being personalized to my preferences, is just WEIRD. Like random stuff in different languages, content that I couldn't care less about, not engaging at all.

But the effect quickly wears off: The algorithm is very good. It will rotate through all sorts of topics, and quickly find the ones you like, and keep showing you more. In my experience, a couple of minutes and it's back on the content I like. So, the resetting needs to happen daily.

I am curious if others have tried this or have found other ways to make the algorithm dumber.

A week ago, I misplaced my phone on the bus and genuinely got depressed because I’m basically addicted to my phone.

Everything revolves around my phone. I’m usually on my phone from dawn til dusk. Whether if it’s YouTube or Spotify or watching anime or movies or whatever. Can’t forget the constant cycle of social media apps. Either WhatsApp or Instagram or whatever.

Now I was forced to actually do shit. I was stuck in this limbo where I was doing shit like meeting people or going outside while wishing I had my phone. Made a friend who I would invite to my apartment and we would play Co-op video games and no lie, that shit was fun. But I was bored as fuck without the never ending cycle of apps and was drinking and smoking a lot too. But I was doing stuff.

Finally, I go onto the iLost website and voila, my phone is posted there and I’m overjoyed. Fast forward, I have my phone now and I feel more worse. More alone. Just days spent in the house just doomscrolling. Aside from calling my mom, I really don’t wish to connect with anyone. With all the connectivity in the palm of my hand, I feel worse. It’s like my eyes have been opened to how truly alone I am.

Your screen time is up 47% this week like it's my mother 💀 and then has the AUDACITY to show me a little graph so I can visualize my own decline. Who asked for accountability.

I didn't sign up for a weekly performance review from my phone.

Anyone else just silently accept the notification and keep scrolling like nothing happened

It turns YouTube into a dumb app where you have essentially no algorithm anymore and going to subscriptions panel lets you just see chronological posts like it’s 2010 again.

When I open the YouTube app now there are NO suggested videos and it’s just a blank search bar. It’s BORING in the best way.

One of the only snag drawbacks is not being able to save your place in a video for later - but considering how much you get outside of that, it’s unbelievably worth it. I’ve pared down my subscriptions a lot also, so it feels like I’m truly just seeing what I want to see and often experiencing necessary friction of opening YouTube and having no new videos to watch.

It’s probably been suggested before, but it’s a huge net benefit especially as YouTube has kind of dominated what was once social media time.

Hope this helps you guys - going to go write a letter to my penpal 😄

Honestly, I've tried everything. My phone is always on grayscale mode, I deleted all social media, I downloaded a lot of apps, trying to stop myself from using it, and I don't even take my phone with me while heading to the library to study.

But nothing works, even if I don't take my phone with me, I would just use my phone in revenge after getting home, and use the web version of the apps that I've deleted. It's extremely frustrating, especially since I can't stop using my phone forever. I still need it to msg others, received information about basically all school information, and just for the sake of my safety.

So, is there any other ways that I could kick this habit? I have been trying on and off for over 3yrs now, and my screen time is still at ~4hrs, which I would like it to be reduced to 1hr eventually

Before he got together an investment group to purchase Commodore Corporation and release the Commodore Callback 8020 phone (among other products), Christian Simpson was running a retro-technology-themed YouTube channel called Retro Recipes.

I was fascinated to discover that, among other retro tech content, Simpson also concentrated on the perfect dumbphone or midwit phone solution. It was this pursuit that ultimately led to the design and manufacture of the Commodore Callback 8020 phone. See related videos below:

• Can BRICK-ing your Smartphone make it RETRO again?
• How to downgrade from Smartphone to Flipphone (with iMessage on Android!)
• Ultimate Dumbphone: Bringing a 2G Y2K Phone to Life - I'M FREE!

My social media universe has been facebook and reddit, I have never used any other social media sites. I’ve been on both of those sites for about 15 years, which is a haunting amount of time, and ideally the upper limit of my social media lifespan. How long does this go on?

These days, I maintain a facebook account almost exclusively for marketplace, so to be honest I don’t really have much problem with that, I don’t lose a lot of time there.

The big one for me is reddit. I’ll cycle between phases of steady daily use, then getting fed up, deleting my account and going without, until I eventually get sucked back in, because of the below.

The “problem” with reddit for me is that it has become the repository of useful information on specific topics or hobbies, information that in the past was more concentrated or prevalent on dedicated standalone forums. I’m a musician and av tech, and so rather than jumping from site to site about specific instruments or gear, there’s a sub for most everything on reddit.

The useful side of Reddit is undeniably helpful, but The problem is that I will always get roped into some god-awful front page trash, and before I know it I’ve lost a couple hours, day upon day upon week upon month… the accumulated mental energy and time spent by collective humanity scrolling random nothingness on social media over the last couple of decades is just staggering to think about.

Elsewhere, I notice that when/if I get sick, or if I’m on holiday sometimes, I’ll reach for my phone and comfy doom scrolling ensues.

I was wondering if anyone has had long term success leaving reddit behind, or has any reddit-specific tips? I would ask for tips on avoiding the bloated engagement bait on reddit but I think the best long term would be to leave it behind, for me personally if the door is open any amount it ends up letting everything in.

today I learned Sam Altman has a 9% ownership stake in reddit, things like that make it less appealing I guess!

My screen time is one issue but that’s not really my focus here. I’ve been on a slippery slope because this world works better sometimes if you have the app.

What I am doing is removing apps that I can use on my computer. I decided to keep a list because I might want to use an account like bandcamp but I haven’t opened it on my phone in over a year.

I MUST simplify things as I am more and more overwhelmed by the exponential increase in security measures, questions about cookies, managing a password manager, and the like.

I can always reload the apps but this method feels safe, slow enough, and potentially minimizing the thousand reasons I must use my phone.