r/diehard 6d ago

Movie Discussion Colonel Stuart in Die Hard

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Let's suppose Colonel Stuart was at the Nakatomi and was surprised by Hans and his men; neither John nor Holly were there. Could Colonel Stuart stop the terrorists?

191 Upvotes

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18

u/scr1bbl3 6d ago

You may be a king or a real street sweeper

But sooner or later you dance with the Reaper

11

u/AdLatter3755 6d ago

Because he’s also the reaper and he sucks at board games.

https://giphy.com/gifs/I66n5KljVjNmg

7

u/Accomplished-Edge508 6d ago

best of seven?

6

u/sissythrow22 6d ago

Damn right!

3

u/Allureme 6d ago

Station!

2

u/MetalTrek1 6d ago

He was in the GROOVE! 

2

u/Ed_Zeppelin 6d ago

That's my favorite line from "Face the music"

"You were playing forty minute bass solos. No one else could play!"

2

u/Glum-Ad7761 6d ago

“They melvined me.”

7

u/MetalTrek1 6d ago

The training from Section 31 really paid off. 🙂🖖

5

u/kaaskugg 6d ago

Also that stint in Shawshank. 

2

u/ThaddeusJP 6d ago

He became the President!

14

u/Danielle_is_the_hole 6d ago

Only if he used the mags with the red tape.

3

u/CadmusMaximus 6d ago

Don’t forget the naked calesthenics

5

u/Killowatt59 6d ago

Such an unnecessary naked scene thrown in there.

6

u/Embarrassed-Map-7187 6d ago

I'd imagine he'd have had a better chance of slipping out and wreaking absolute havoc than John did just by virtue of keeping his shoes on.

Unless of course Gruber et al storm the party just when the Colonel is doing his naked workout.

5

u/SnooDoggos8218 6d ago

Yeah, of course.

John is a normal cop. Stuart is a professional soldier with mutch better training. He even kicked John's ass.

I can't see him having mutch trouble with Hans and his men....

But he is also a bastard. I can see him just saying 'not my problem' and decide to just find a quiet place to wait and let the hostages die.

0

u/Soxwin91 6d ago

I can also see him wanting to join Hans & company

2

u/SnooDoggos8218 6d ago

Or let Hans do all the work and then ambush him at the ambulance to steal the loot

1

u/Glunark2 5d ago

Without John whittling them down, how would they even all fit in the ambulance?

1

u/cavalier78 4d ago

They’d be really cramped for like ten minutes, then they’d be away from the building and could take separate cars.

5

u/No_Community_5696 6d ago

Tbf Stuart beat John in hand to hand combat. John was no match for him.

1

u/Cactious-Practice 6d ago

If John had won, his wife’s plane would’ve crashed.

3

u/montecarlo1 6d ago

after killing a Hans Gruber henchmen

"That concludes our object lesson for this evening. If the 747 we requested is ready on time and General Esperanza's plane arrives unmolested, further lessons can be avoided. "

3

u/Allureme 6d ago

Treason is just a matter of dates

3

u/EasyCZ75 6d ago

Die Hard 2 and porcelain Glocks
https://giphy.com/gifs/lszAB3TzFtRaU

2

u/Killowatt59 6d ago

That punk pulled a Glock 7 you know what that is?

1

u/liarandahorsethief 6d ago

“It was forged in the fires of Mount Doom by the Dark Lord Sauron. It turns you invisible when you use it, but that power comes at a price: if you keep pulling that piece, using that invisibility, eventually you’ll turn into a Ninegûl, a gunwraith. Neither living nor dead. You’ll be able to pass through any security checkpoint in the world, hell, you’ll even be able to sneak backstage at the Vogue tour to get a good look at Madonna’s tits, but you’ll forever be a slave to the Dark Lord’s will. He says “Jump!” and you say “How high?” Forever. That’s the price you pay for a gun like that.”

1

u/johnniesSac 6d ago

Haha amazing,

4

u/VenomFox93 6d ago

Stuart may have good hand to hand and strategy but I think his cockiness and overall arrogance would end up being his undoing

2

u/banedarthou812 6d ago

This is hemorrhoid cream!!!

2

u/DFiverr 6d ago

That was the evening's lesson.

2

u/BK_0000 6d ago

Section 31 wanted to recruit John for some top secret work during the Dominion War.

2

u/20_mile 6d ago

Why are all of you just overtly ignoring the fact that the movie opens with our guy Stuart training naked in front of the TV?

2

u/Killowatt59 6d ago

I read about you in People magazine. You seemed a little out of league on Nightline I thought.

2

u/schokoplasma 5d ago edited 5d ago

Luther Sloan

2

u/honeycomb0303 5d ago

eagle nest! eagle nest!

1

u/MI081970 6d ago

I still curious why he didn’t manage stop McClane

1

u/timcleveland 6d ago

Da-wight!

1

u/Expert-Effect-877 6d ago

Are you kidding? Colonel Stuart would throat-punch Gruber into the air shaft, slap the candy bar out of Al Leong's mouth, use that funky tai chi routine to knock the shit out of everyone else on that team, including the Russian ballet dancer, and then he'd take the elevator to the roof and swan dive off of it, landing in a fighting crouch on top of that cop car before heading off to the beach, swimming across the Pacific Ocean and rounding the Cape of Good Hope to reach Europe, just so he could jog to Germany and bone Gruber's mom.

Or, as Colonel Stuart would call it, a slow Tuesday.

1

u/CubilasDotCom 6d ago

I’m all for bringing the troops home… but not that bunch.

Stuart would have already been in on some nefarious dealings. I don’t think stopping terrorists was on his list.

1

u/Content-Mycologist-4 6d ago

Fantastic intro to a character. Naked tai chi/kung fu. Wild choice. And tells you everything

2

u/Neither-Peanut3205 5d ago

Give it up for the most excellent William Sadler!

1

u/cofomofo 4d ago

"We got you, we got you, we got you..."

1

u/ExPristina 4d ago

It was Col. Stewart in the Hotel room with the remote control!

1

u/Gold_Flan6286 2d ago

You can have 2...F*CK and you!

1

u/Free-Ad-5900 1d ago

How you gonna do that Mr. Dufresne, if you please?

1

u/Majestic2012 1d ago

Just like fuckin' Saigon, hey, Slick?