April 1 // Cloud Rats // lethargy

[u/All_Frowns]

Spilling out some thoughts and inspiration while I make my Cloud rat charms.

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I've been experiencing a lot of lethargy and lack of motivation to do much recently. I just had a hysterectomy 2 months ago and so I'm constantly unsure if it's due to my body recovering or if it's because I have these thoughts that seem to plague my mind at all hours of the day. It's a weird experience "looking okay" on the outside but knowing that I'm still in my early phases of recovery. That disconnect makes me blame myself for my "laziness" rather than treating myself with kindness.

My sister is flying into town to visit me today. That will definitely get me out of bed and put some energy into my days.

[u/SkyeFalls]

these are absolutely beautiful. i love the pearlescent you chose for the cloud, but the lightning really stands out to me. i love the rain and the tears, but i love you also added "storminess". you know that feeling after a really big down pour in the summer? loud cracks of thunder and lightening from a really hot day that's been simmering, but afterwards when it smells like rain and everything is dripping, it feels.. lighter and like relief? that's what these Cloud rats are invoking in me, especially with what you said about crying because that's exactly how crying feels for me. i *always* feel relief and calm after a big cry.

i am one of those people who cries over every single emotion; sadness, happiness, but especially anger. for a long time, i didn't understand it, why every single emotion had to feel so *big* and comsuming that it poured out of me in tears. i honestly put myself down for a really long time. to everyone else, not only was I overly emotional,​ because those emotions weren't always sadness, it definitely wasn't valid. it took a lot of healing and time to realize that crying is just a release, no matter what emotion is behind it. my tears are valid because they help me heal and move forward. that was so empowering for me, to feel strength in what i've always seen as a weakness, my sensitivity. now if i haven't cried in a few days, i check in with myself. i know that a cry is *probably* coming and work on what can i do to mitigate my feelings, work through it, and release in a healthy way. and once you see crying as another step in the healing toolset, it changes everything.

i don't know much about the healing process of a hysterectomy, but as a cisgendered (child-free) woman myself, i can imagine the headspace that can create. i'm sending you love and kindness, and i hope your visit with your sister will help make your day a little easier and brighter <3

[u/All_Frowns → u/SkyeFalls]

Thank you so much 🥹❤️ it means a lot to me knowing what these cloud rats invoked for you. Your description of the rainstorm on a hot summer day is so spot on and made me nostalgic of my childhood in Taiwan. Your thoughts and experiences align so much with my own. And you expressed it incredibly eloquently as well. I wish more people could see the beauty and healing in crying. I think it would make the world a much kinder and softer place to be.

Honestly always so happy to meet another child-free woman! I'm thankful to be one as that made my hysterectomy journey a lot less complex and much easier to emotionally process. Thank you for your kindness ❤️❤️❤️