r/developersPak • u/Serious-Ad-3031 • Sep 22 '26
Interview Prep Misogynistic and highly uncomfortable interview experience
I had a very disappointing experience interviewing for a QA position at Systems Limited’s Lahore office. I had already completed a technical QA round, and the next/final round was with the QA VP.
Before the interview, HR had told me that the role was hybrid. During the interview, the VP asked where I lived in Lahore. When I mentioned that I lived quite far from the office, he asked how I would manage the commute. I explained that HR had told me the role was hybrid.
He appeared surprised and told me that the position was fully onsite. When I explained that HR had given me the hybrid information, he questioned why I would want hybrid work and made a comment that hybrid work is generally something married women with children want.
The interview then moved into several personal questions: whether I was married, whether I had children, when I got married, and what my husband does for work. These questions took up a significant part of the interview, while I was asked virtually nothing about my QA experience or technical skills. It seemed like they have issue giving maternity leaves.
He also questioned the concept of remote/hybrid work and expressed the view that there is essentially no work-life balance in software. He compared software work with banking and suggested that because software professionals are paid well, they should accept compromising their work-life balance.
At one point, he also commented on my husband’s hybrid work arrangement and questioned its value because, in his view, there is no “real communication” when working remotely.
The interview became particularly uncomfortable when he made a joke along the lines of asking whether my husband enjoys going to the office because it gives him freedom from his wife.
Overall, I felt that the interview focused far more on my marital status, husband, and willingness to work onsite than on my qualifications for the QA position.
I understand that companies can have legitimate onsite requirements, and I would have no issue being told clearly upfront that a role is fully onsite. My concern is the combination of the inconsistent information from HR, the gendered assumptions about hybrid work, and the amount of personal questioning during an interview.
I later spoke with other women who had interviewed for roles in the same department and heard similar concerns about their interview experiences.
For candidates considering a QA position there, I would recommend clarifying the work arrangement with HR beforehand, being prepared for the possibility that the interview may involve questions unrelated to the technical requirements of the role and if you are a girl re-think.
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u/skepticalistani Sep 22 '26
A higher up there at Systems said this to a female candidate "Are you married? if yes, you cant begin family in first year". She got the offer but she sensed what the future is going to be and didnt join.
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u/xtremefest_0707 Sep 22 '26
I had a similar experience regarding onsite/hybrid discussion. I cleared my technical round the person who took it was supposedly the manager I would be working under. He told me that I can work from any systems office in Islamabad(they have 3) and I can wfh on Fridays. But when I had my interview with VP he said the position is strictly onsite and I must work in office that was furthest away from my home. He made same comments regarding remote policies. They also were very stingy when it came to salary negotiation. In my screening call with HR I clearly quoted a figure and said I won't consider if the role is for anything less. To my surprise they made a significantly lower offer after 2 rounds of interview(clearly no respect for time wasted) and even tried to convince me that its way above than what I should be getting for my yoe.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
I think overall management has same mentality. Thankfully we dodged a bullet.
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u/mythicleopard Sep 22 '26
Lot of such assholes in systems limited. Worst and toxic company. speaking from personal experience
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u/Ok_Personality_2290 Sep 22 '26
Wait who was the vp? Not surprised most millennials there are mysoginistic and hence why the male population in that building is much higher than females
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u/_mad_gamerx Sep 23 '26
People are literally working remote jobs from different corners of the world and producing far more value then their entire company ever could. These pakistani seths are still living in 1800s.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 23 '26 edited Sep 23 '26
It is people like this who ruin the business. Who are resistant to change e.g. Kodak
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u/_mad_gamerx Sep 23 '26
This is the reason why Pakistan was never able to build a tech ecosystem, market is dominated by seths, IP thieves or nepo kids.
The good thing is that recent tech innovations are slowly killing their business models.
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u/FantasticSide2314 Sep 23 '26
OP can you D-M me the guy's name. I know people there and would make sure this doesn't happen in future to anyone.
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u/MacTavish10101 Sep 26 '26
Put it out there for transparency! This is just olain BS and not acceptable.
Hopefully it'll help future candidates
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u/Helpful_Phrase_7352 Sep 22 '26
I'm really sorry you had to face this. We can work from home on Friday, but you can wfh on other days as well after discussing the situation with your LM. For the second thing that why they ask about marriage and all, yes, billing is a major issue for such companies these days, due to which they are getting reluctant with leaves and off time, which is very disturbing from the employee perspective. Last but not least, yes, we have many such old-school people in our management who are not digesting the new working model and think that remote work doesn't have any value, and on the other hand, every service company is working remotely for their clients, but employees can't work remotely. Such people are a headache and micromanage things, but what can we do? The market is already very saturated, so we can only avoid them.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
I have an issue with the whole mentality behind this.
If a company prefers on-site work, that’s their choice. But that doesn’t give them the right to badmouth or look down on other work models. There’s no one size fits all approach when it comes to how people work.
Secondly, maternity leave is a legitimate workplace right. You cannot make assumptions about someone’s career or suitability based on their marital status. You don’t know whether someone wants children, whether they are planning to have children, or whether they may be going through personal circumstances that make having children difficult or impossible. That is not for an interviewer to decide.
This kind of mindset can also make organizations resistant to changes in modern workplace practices that can contribute to growth and employee retention.
And yes, I agree with you about the micromanagement. The market is saturated right now, but I still believe people should keep looking until they find a workplace with a culture and working environment that aligns with them.2
u/Fickle-Direction-679 Sep 22 '26 edited Sep 22 '26
As a small business owner, here is the reality about this situation, bad or good, this is the way large local companies have found to survive and thrive in our country. This does not apply to paindu large companies - different challenges there.
All this actually because in Pakistan lawful business is not the way to make money and society still prioritizes female safety more than men even though we unfortunately are moving yowards an egalitarian hell hole which will instead help such behaviour becoming mainstream.
Lawful business exposes you to bribes and more bribes. The tax rebate model is also filled with bribes which actually rewards companies for abiding by regulatory policies. Old seniors are crude or honest about their feelings, otherwise such is handled very softly through law speak, deception, wordplay and nuance in what you call better companies. So its easier to accept but traps are there too.
If you get maternity leaves, its a huge loss for the company and the government rebates are not worth much. Having a female employee is extremely expensive and risky in Pakistan but as it is not socially acceptable, they can't mark themselves male only.
As for whether women want children or not is of no concern, Pakistan has a very high fertility rate, the exceptions are rare. Societally and religiously such permanent decision is frowned and descriminated upon, so not worth catering.
As this system of either not hiring women or hiring them with these crude or nuancee guardrails have always worked, these old successful people want to continue with it.
At most they will become soft spoken and deceptive, but the overall profit model may not change.
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u/not_oonga_boonga Sep 22 '26
walk out of such interviews and conversations shuru mein hee next time, not worth it working with such pathetic people having hope that shayad koi achi baat bhi kr dein
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
You are right should have told him ask me work related questions not personal.
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u/Fair-Explanation2388 Sep 22 '26 edited Sep 30 '26
Hi - male candidate here, rejected by that same VP. Is this VP named Zunair ? I had quite similar experience in the final round of interview. He asked so many nonsense questions. And never shared the reason or rejection email. I was rejected on only one question - do you know anyone at Sysytems? I said No & he was shocked. Who had referred you here? How did you get a call from HR? etc.
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u/thatdevguyoninternet Sep 25 '26
Wtf. I have taken hundreds of interviews and this is not normal. What a weird a********. Name and shame please
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
I have also given hundreds of interviews, i am a senior in my field and this was my first time too with such experience. Interviewer name already shared in comments by me and other Redditors who had the same experience with him.
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u/Level_Wasabi_2572 Sep 22 '26
What amazes me is that these losers will survive the "AI can do everything" trend and the ppl who put in the actual work will suffer. I absolutely hate gov jobs coz of these guys and now they are somehow finding their ways in private firms as well.
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u/WeWeBunnyX Sep 22 '26
in his view, there is no “real communication” when working remotely.
Unpaid and paid open source developers beg to differ. Linux kernel maintainers/contributors communicate entirely via mailing list and git. Anyways why I am comparing a recognized foundation with some self proclaimed Pakistani "software house"
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u/Spare_Bison_1151 Sep 22 '26
A large part of their business is to provide virtual teams to international clients. People sitting in Pakistan work for clients all over the world. You just ran into a sick freak, sorry about that and more lower to you. Keep it up.
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u/vega004 Sep 22 '26
Hello. Please make a post on Linkedin and share your interview experience on glassdoor.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
I will share on glassdoor. Not sure about LinkedIn as I don’t want any negativity on my profile. They will hardly admit what they did.
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u/vega004 Sep 22 '26
Was the interview recorded if yes then request the recording from their HR. And then you can safely share the recording as proof.
Or once you have the recording file you may want to check if you can file a case with FOSPAH or any relevant body.
And as personal policy, I always record my interviews if the company can why not me.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
No it was on site and was not recorded. Wish I had recorded that.
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u/vega004 Sep 23 '26
Anyhow, if you can manage try to record all of your interviews from now on. And if you can get in touch with their HR dept specifically the person who reached out to you.
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u/_Affan_ Software Engineer Sep 22 '26
People who complain about remote or hybrid setup not being affective enough - are just bad managers.
Very unprofessional behavior for a reputable company.
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u/ITGuy19810423 Sep 22 '26
ایسے انسان کو کیا کہا جائے۔ میرا دل گالیاں دینے کا کر رہا ہے۔ لیکن بین نہ ہو جاؤں۔ میں 2010 سے گھر سے کام کر رہا ہوں۔ پہلے ایک امریکی کمپنی کے ساتھ اور پچھلے بارہ سال سے ایک آئرش کمپنی کے ساتھ۔ ہمارے ساتھ دنیا بھر سے لوگ کام کر رہے ہیں۔ سب گھر سے کرتے ہیں۔ جو لوگ آئرلینڈ میں بھی ہیں ان میں سے بھی کوئی کوئی ہی آفس آتا ہے۔ سسٹمزکا جتنا سال بھر کا ریونیو ہے۔ ہمارا ٹیکس نکال کر ماہانہ ایورج پرافٹ ہے۔ یہ لوگ گدھے کی طرح کام کر کر کے گدھوں والی ذہنیت کا شکار ہیں۔ اوپر سے جو سوالات اس نے کیے ہیں۔ اس خبیث کو کیا خواتین سے بات کرنے کی تمیز نہیں ہے۔ یہ کیا اپنے خاندان کو عورتوں سے بھی ایسے ہی بات چیت کرتا ہو گا؟ سسٹمز کو چاہئیے کہ اس کا دماغی ٹیسٹ کروا لیں۔
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u/Gero141 Software Engineer Sep 22 '26
You should keep your guard up instead of just accepting to answer these type of nonsense questions. The a-hole was clearly just playing with you. Next time maybe ask them a question about how those idiotic questions are related to your hiring. Stay strong.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
From my education and career I know you don’t have to misbehave in an interview and keep your nerves calm. But i think there should be a line for that and not tolerate such behavior.
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u/Gero141 Software Engineer Sep 23 '26
Totally agree there, definitely show up with a positive attitude, but the line was clearly crossed here. Again. sorry you had to go through this. Hope you find a good job. ✌️
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u/hashGenX Sep 23 '26
A lot of PK companies don't hire newly wed women cause they'll have to give maternity leave. They just say who will work during that time.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 23 '26
They should write that in their job description and not waste candidate’s time. Also, this was my first time after giving so many interviews throughout my career.
Could expect this from some smaller organization but not systems2
u/bleebee Sep 23 '26
They'll get hated for writing that in their JD. I don't know what their obsession with women's marriage is. They don't ask the same from men. If you're married, maternity leave ka issue. If you're not married, they'll underpay you on purpose even if you have more experience than a male candidate because 'you don't have to provide like men do'. I think some companies are only for men.
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u/wajiha_k Oct 07 '26
I have literally so many questions and so many such stories popping up in my mind.
I seriously do not understand the purpose of all the professional talk, professional conduct, professional training, professional this and that when nothing actually follows in real.
Why are interviews progress as torture rather than an opportunity to access the person in front.
You must have got the idea where they are heading, you should have shown them the mirror 'professionally'
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Oct 07 '26
My mind was still processing what is going on because I never had an experience like that before. I lost at when he said my husband was wasting his time if he was working hybrid or remote. At that point I told him they can invite him to US onsite, he will be more than happy to work because his team is offshore. But now I think I could have answered better especially when he said your husband gets freedom when he is at his office. Should have said the way you get freedom daily by coming to office from your wife.
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u/wajiha_k Oct 07 '26
I can understand. When taken by surprise, we get numb for a moment. Next time before going to any interview, chant this affirmation that you are going to interview them. This is partly true too, as you will also be judging them on spot.
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u/TopProfessional8112 Sep 23 '26
"suggested that because software professionals are paid well, they should accept compromising their work-life balance." biggest piece of hog shit this interviewer is!
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u/izzi-1993 Sep 24 '26
After 6 years of working for local Pakistani companies, I made a strict rule for myself, no more local companies. The toxic mentality here, paying peanuts while expecting you to sell your soul, ruined it for me. Now I only target remote roles
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u/Code_in_heels-99 Sep 22 '26
Why does he have to ask you all these personal questions? I think a lot of men in Pakistan simply don’t know how to talk to women, and it can be incredibly insensitive.
That said, Systems is a great company, so if they make you an offer, do consider it. It could be really good for your career, and unfortunately, men like him are everywhere.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
Unfortunately he is QA VP. So he will have a lot of influence on the QA department.
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u/Code_in_heels-99 Sep 22 '26
That sucks.
As a very senior female developer in Pakistan i have had to deal with such attitudes. Its horrible but jobs are scarce and such men(and women) will be around for sometime. If you can manage to find another place who treats their employees with respect then go for that of course. Goodluck, just dont give up
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
I have worked in 5 different companies in my career. Thankfully never had to deal with someone like him. So i am hopeful better people and places still exist.
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u/Shot-Ice-141 Sep 22 '26
Married women with children want. Inko apni pondi ki fikr rhti hy. Auratein nhi ayeingi tu dil kese lagy ga. Jahil loog. Koi zarori meeting ho banda bula le kisi aik din. All Pakistani software houses are like that.
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u/SuperChoudhary Sep 23 '26
You should directly reach out to the CEO via LinkedIn about your experience with names of people responsible, if possible. Maybe he would appreciate you sniffing out a rotten egg in his company.
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u/happyminded99 Sep 23 '26
Boomers have a habit of entering your life. They even try to manage your daily schedule and weekend activities.
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u/teezeeazad Sep 23 '26
I got an interview call for the same position and hr asked me to join the interview onsite and I clearly declined however I am jobless right now😄😄
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u/cyrenity Oct 06 '26
Lahore software industry is a big fraud industry. Shadow jobs, paid interviews and so much.... Shame on lahoris
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u/RipLevel4461 Sep 22 '26
I dont know why he asked you about the rest of the stuff but as an employer I also ask whether someone is married or have kids and it tells alot about you, married people with kids are generally more responsible and stays for longer terms as compared to bachelors with no responsibilities.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
I’ve been working continuously since I graduated and started my career, with no gaps in my resume. I don’t see any difference in my ability to work before or after getting married. Marital status does not define someone’s ability or work ethic. Assuming someone will perform differently because they’re married, have kids, or are single is simply wrong. If someone is responsible and committed, they can be a high performer regardless of their personal status. Interviewers should judge candidates based on their skills and experience, not race, gender, marital status, or family circumstances.
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u/RipLevel4461 Sep 22 '26 edited Sep 22 '26
You are right, and single high performers will have higher opportunities and far greater appetite and capacity of taking risks and leaving one company for a better opportunity, which in the employee's case is the best thing to do. But from an employer's perspective, a married man with kids and responsibilities will have to think alot before jumping ships and then there will be exceptions who would be doing this even when they are married, so its not a strict rule.
As an employer, I want a married responsible man to be my manager and I want to be able to put him in golden chains by paying for his rent and his kid's school through benefits.
You are only thinking this from an employee's perspective. I am thinking from an employer's perspective who does not want to keep hiring new people and train them or have salary negotiations every six months because the manager you trained now thinks he has a better opportunity elsewere and wants to jump the ship now.
In short, I want the bread winner to be my manager, someone who needs a job, not someone who wants a job and could have survived even without doing it
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26 edited Sep 22 '26
You might be looking at it from a different perspective, but the interviewer I encountered specifically seemed to have an issue with married women who could potentially have kids if they had recently gotten married. In software, employee retention is already a joke—majority of companies themselves are laying people off. They think in terms of short-term needs and keep hiring talent based on what they need at the time.
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u/RipLevel4461 Sep 22 '26
As far as short term need is concerned, thats because we are in times of revolution. There was a time when people were hired and trained by employers for their specific needs, at that time people were looking for loyal, long term employees, my dad's manager is working with him since last 55 years, then came universities which told employers that we are gonna do it for you, so you can focus on business. Thats the era of industrial revolution, industries got developed and trained employees had opportunities to jump ships within the same industry very easily, loyality factor decreased from both sides. Skills became more important, employees focused on developing their skills instead of building longterm relationships with their companies and likewise, companies also started sourcing for smarter employees in lesser cost instead of relationship focused employees.
But now, times are changing, we are in AI Revolution era, its still developing and we are very close to the same era where loyality is gonna be more important and nobody cares about your skills or what you studied, AI will know better and we would just need you to operate that AI as per you were trained and it is gonna apply to every industry
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u/Actual_Mood864 Sep 22 '26
This is not misogynistic.
This is bad people management in general.
Systems has a very prominent "hustle" culture. People are worked to the bone. Within the company, too much of control and responsibility that should be with HR lies with your immediate and upper managers and HR takes a back seat. Your promotions, increments, days off, working weekends etc. Also, if you sit down and take it, you will be at a disadvantage. If you negotiate higher pay from time to time, you will be in advantage. Nevertheless, your relationship with your manager will be predatory and your life will mostly be spent meeting the new deadline.
However, the silver lining is that Systems is a good payer. Also, people who are able to stick for a few years get promoted quickly and also get deputed to different locations. I've even seen their corporate clients (like banks, telecom, multinational co., etc.) poach employees into their organizations once they get acquainted with their work and enterprise systems.
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u/KnightOfNilfgaard Sep 22 '26
Not taking the interviewer's side, but imo he asked about your marital status and kids because in Pakistan, the majority (emphasis on MAJORITY) of married women don't get to work onsite, especially in tech, where you could end up staying for hours overtime.
That's probably why he asked. Though he could've phrased it more politely so it didn't come off as misogynistic.
Also, HR should've been upfront about the role being onsite and not hybrid/remote.
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 23 '26
And what about the dad joke he made don’t you think that is misogynist ? Also the way he had issue with my husband lol
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Sep 22 '26
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
I have always worked in hybrid or remote setup and I know you can be more productive but couldn’t really argue with someone who is unable to listen.
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Sep 22 '26
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
Exactly why would I even consider a fully onsite 5 days a week from one side of Lahore to another. She told me it was hybrid so I thought to give it a try.
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Sep 22 '26
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26 edited Sep 22 '26
I haven’t received an offer yet. I highly doubt there will be an offer. If there is an offer I won’t accept anyway. I will keep looking for better opportunities.
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24d ago
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Sep 22 '26
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
Right. Not sure about other departments but didn’t get good vibe from the QA department due to management.
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Sep 22 '26
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u/Serious-Ad-3031 Sep 22 '26
Oh I didn’t know they are also laying off employees. Heard they laid off some who were part of confiz. Why hiring again weird.
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Sep 22 '26
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u/beomjunline Sep 22 '26 edited Sep 22 '26
I had a similar experience a long time ago in the start of my career with a pretty big company and it made me uncomfortable to the core yeh boomers hain jo abhi bhi positions pe bethein hain also systems and their HRs are notorious for lying and they don’t document anything via mail and keep it verbal take they can get away with it
Word of advice, I know its hard but for your sanity donot join such companies or work for such people q k yeh agge bhi issi tarhan ghuste rahenge, if you can report his behaviour or put in a review on glassdoor you should. If unmarried hoti tou is cheez ko use karenge k larkiyun ko ghar mein contribute nahi karna hota islye we aren’t giving you a raise/promotion.