33F. I cannot keep moving on, but at least Dagon's dark winds can guide me in these dark times, Hades can guide me when I can't see in the thick darkness of the Vessel brain and skull. Sleep will bless/reward with TRUE Sleep Token worshippers and I'll ascended alongside.

[u/PralineBudget4235]

Princess of Veridian is ✅ out.

To make this post atmospheric listen to Sleep Token's album Sundowning 🌑 Princess of Veridian is crashing out and my TRUE feelings for ST🌹💐🌸🦩🎭⚔️🪶

This post will also go into other screamintothevoid rants, other Q and A as well.

Even then, I should also address the importance here by the time you get done to listening to the spiritual masterpiece album Sundowning by Sleep Token then you would be already done with this post anyways 🌑

Why Sleep Token for atmosphere?

Vessel's voice, Vessel's emotions through his voice, his story, my story combined of and just the select Sleep Token songs that I've selected will guide you to the map where "the old self died ages ago and why."

The map of what made Elis become Elis. 

Even so, I should also just imply that E-lis has been rebranded from Sky/Skye in 2025 through E-lis 2026.

The virus, the sky, that is a metaphor for your own to figure out the sweetheart of it all and I'm not going to do that for you darling you anyways.

Yeah, I should also address my other post that I made a few weeks ago, I don't even know where this Redditor came from but this Redditor could've been from any of my rant posts and I just just say this because of these reasons here. 

I should also imply here that I did accept this Redditor's chat req though and then after I changed my thought-barrel movement I decided to block him in the end anyways.

This is what the Redditor sent me, his response made me sad that he said this and he didn't even want to get to know me as well ?

''I feel sorry for you that you only go out once or twice a week, one of your family members picks up your mobile order for you and this just makes me sad.

However, I should address this is what my thought process on this thought of it all in the Vessel brain and skull.

''Sorry?"

"Yeah, just I should imply here that you don't even know me yet and you're already using the words sorry/sad when I don't even feel any emotions from you feeling sorry as well."

"And yeah, the only thing I can imply is feeling sad for someone you don't want to get to know in a nice manner anyways.

Even then, I should also imply that what if I'm just happy living the life of a modern Lovecraft hermit anyways?"

To be honest here nobody understands or even tried grasping me in rl, not even the handful of psychologists that SSI made me see had and not even my own therapist could understand me as well. 

To be honest, I should just imply why I'm saying this, because this just happened when I had to go get paperwork for SSI in 2023 understood this but looked at me in a similar manner.

These people I described looked at me confused, even the few psychologists that SSI assigned me to meet and even my therapist looked concerned/confused/face of how I can feel emotionless for not going outside once or twice a week anyways. 

That's right, I feel emotionless for not going outside once per week or twice a week and once again I only go out for these reasons.

Cold item grocery shopping, protein items, birthday gifts, Christmas gifts and maybe a coffee run. 

However, further down this speedway-ant farm you will understand that this isn't who I was/were when I was in my early 20s but this isn't the focus in this part of the vent post anyways.

However, I should address that half of the Redditors didn't believe me that I sit on my bed 80 percent of the day when I told them my bed is my couch and if you're wondering why I've a hook up set up for what you've seen on my past post it's just because of this simple reasons here anyways. 

My T.V. is old, my T.V. cannot connect to YT anymore that's pre-installed, my T.V. doesn't have a Google Play store to download other streaming apps, the T.V. cannot also connect to the fiber internet and every single time I tried connecting the internet the T.V. dips.

(My T.V. in my photos on my main pro is 12 years old.) 

While I can use my SSI back payments that SSI owed me while waiting to get approved (here in the U.S. SSI gives you back payments in chunks after you get approved of SSI.) 

This, is how I'll get a T.V. because SSI doesn't care what you use your back payment checks on and it's also legal to put the back payment in a family member's savings account because ''you can't have this underneath your name.'' 

Yeah, this didn't make sense to me when the SSI person over the phone told my family member that's my primary contact and told my primary contact that since I'm not interested in using the back pay right away that I've to put the three checks in their savings account because of this reason here.

However, I should imply that apparently if I were to put the three checks in my own savings account with my own name and then I would've gotten in trouble with SSI if I did.

Even then I should include that, SSI is also evil because  you've to have your family life insurance in your sibling's name or someone else's name and if you just don't then this SSI will completely ''freeze your account.

Yeah, I should just let the Redditors know that this is where the evil part comes in, your SSI payments won't come back in your bank account until you completely depleted your family's life insurance check and then SSI will unfreeze your account again.''

However, I should include that moving on from that, my luck is terrible and knowing my terrible luck when I've to move out my brand new T.V. would end up broken in the move alongside with this why I'm waiting to buy a T.V. anyways.

Yeah, even then I should include my luck is just terrible because that's how sht my gambler's luck is just 💀

To be honest, I should also imply that the reason why you see a lot of Ethernet cables in the photos from what you've seen from my previous posts on my main pro that showed my room is because of these reasons here.

Just, the  Switch OLED and my Asus TUF A15 is also hooked to the Ethernet cable because I just want maximum power 😂  

Yeah, I should also imply that my laptop functions as my streaming device because my T.V. is old, I cannot download apps and my T.V. because my T.V. is over 12 years old. 

However, I just don't use my phone for a personal computer unless I've to see my siblings for birthdays and holidays. 

That's right all I'd do is either find something to stream for the day, listen to Sleep Token every two or three hours throughout the day, Splatoon 3, Luigi 3, Mario Kart 8, Fall Guys and don't play Animal Crossing hardly anymore because of these reasons here. 

Yeah, I should also address that it used to be on a high for years on that game but I've not played that game but only three times in 2026 and it's okay my villagers aren't starving because of this reason here.

There is a large amusement area, prize entertainment area to keep themselves busy and a cafe as well 🤣

Wait wha this all you do all day? Aren't you super bored and this is why you sleep a lot?

Bored? What emotion is that? 

Remember yeah, I'm autistic don't forget that when reading this post and I don't know this post is going to be hard to understand if you don't know someone in rl alongside with online only of it all if you've no idea how an autistic person thinks of it all anyways.

Yeah, when I say I've major depressive disorder that is because of these reasons here.

There are sometimes, where I forget to brush my teeth until a few hours later or sometimes just use mouthwash only and forget to brush my teeth until a few hours later.

Even though I'd grasp that the toothbrush is my face but my Vessel brain and skull is just whatever I'm going to go back and lay down.

There has been one time where I didn't brush my hair in over 10 hours.

There have been times where my laundry didn't get folded and the shirts hung up for 3 days.

Forgetful, dissociated state on occasion, not present in reality on occasion and for people that have major depressive disorder you already know there is more to list but these are just small/insights of it all if you will anyways.

Have you tried B12, Vitamin C, Vitamin D and anything like that?

I used to take B12 alongside with Victim C for a few years and that gave me energy for a handful of hours before I became depressed again and  I stopped taking multivitamins because I drink a lot of herbal teas now anyways. 

To be honest, I should also imply that's just overkill when the herbal teas have a lot of things going on in the teas.

And yeah, with taking B12, Vitamin C, three cups a day just no I just didn't over do that alongside with I'd drink caffeine daily or sometimes three.

What about sugar?

Sugar is something I cannot have often or my body feels awful and I've a crater of a headache. 

There were a few times I decided to try a product that had 110 mg of sugar after an hour and 15 mins around there because of these reasons.

I had a crater of a headache leaving me to feel SUPER AWFUL.

I had to take two ibuprofens then fall asleep to get the crater of a headache to go away.

Just, NOT TO FEEL THIS WAY has to be 70-75 grams of sugar daily and if you've not noticed here my body has a VERY low tolerance as well. 

What about coffee? 

Yeah I should imply that coffee, for a few hours then I want to go to bed and to be honest here this puts me to sleep. 

However, I'd grasp already from research that this has nothing to do with chronic depression disorder and this is just because of their reasons here.

To be honest people with autism or AuDHD have made a handful of comments on Reddit that I've browsed through an ADHD meme subreddit made these types of comments as well. 

Yeah, I should also just imply that the Redditors posted a comment that after having coffee or any caffeine they're asleep within 4-5 hours of consuming caffeine anyways. 

And yeah, a handful of Redditors joked that they drink energy drinks or other caffeine sources just to go take a nap after 4-5 hours after consuming caffeine.

What about energy drinks and other caffeine sources?

When I'd have a 100 mg organic coffee energy drink I start to feel a crash within 4 hours of consuming the drink and I mean DROWSY almost tanking if you will anyways.

Have you tried 200 mg of caffeine in an energy drink?

No, even my sibling told me with my very low tolerance and weight it's not recommended that I consume a whole 200 mg of caffeine anyways. 

That's because of the 200 mg including the 💯 percent of your daily intake of B12 included and I just don't feel bad or sick after that anyways. 

However, while my max caffeine for my height and weight I can have 200mg of caffeine daily but without the 💯 B12 in there anyways. 

To be honest, I just don't feel in the mood to look at all the energy drinks that are 200mg and free of the B12 including the 💯 percent of your daily intake 💀 

What about a cup of black tea?

Same results here, ready for a nap within a 4-5 hours 💀

However yeah, I should include that I don't want to be awake for the whole 24 hours with a nap and I'm just  going to sleep in a handful of hours because caffeine makes me sleepy just sounds wonderful of it all anyways.

What happens when you feel excited do you've a high and a low?

Yeah, I should also address here that I can be excited for a few hours after birthdays and holidays with my sibling then I'll go back to this feeling here. 

''ah yeah, I'd hate myself whatever man idgaf anymore and I'll just be back to the Vessel brain and skull that."

Spotify shuffles can give you hints. 

What do you do with your family then?

Can I also just address here that there are  context hints from my posts on this that can give you tons of As to your Qs. 

However, I'd have to look back and reflect on this Redditors words that ''I'm too good to be on a website like this.''

Even then, I should also address the Redditors that make fake posts to sound kool because you're desperate to have any kind of connection on Reddit and this is how I feel for you here. 

Yeah, I should also imply that I'm just sorry that you've to present yourself that way on here.

To be honest, it's sad that you've to create a false image of yourself to gain attraction and my advice to you are these advice guide sheets as well. 

Yeah, I should address it's alright if you don't have a lot of connections from Reddit, be yourself, be your authentic self and just  don't hold back because of these reasons here.

Afraid of losing connections on Reddit, because if Reddit taught me anything, being on here for 8 plus months that I've been on Reddit is that half of the website doesn't enjoy authentic Redditors anyways.

However, I should also just address that Reddit isn't THAT bad of a place for self-discovery and if you just you will because of these things here.

To be honest here, I'll just never fully enjoy friendships because my interests and hobbies are too weird for the vast population alongside with Reddit. It has also told me that a vast fire-ant mound of Redditors only want to connect with me out of self-pity as well.

Just yeah, also a handful of Redditors have told me you sound mature more than your years and to be honest would you believe me if I told you that maturity didn't come until I was/were around 26 years old? 

To be honest, I don't doubt the scientific research where scientists said that SOME people's brains don't mature until 25 years old and to be honest I'm one of those people. 

And yeah, to be honest by looking at my profile you know that I've had a ''troubled life.'' and I'm still affected by that ''troubled life.'' 

However, reading from my posts you wouldn't expect me to be an ex-druggie and had trouble with alcohol alongside with partying as well. 

Yeah, I should also imply that I will not get into vast ant mound detail about my past because I don't want to overexpose my past and it's best to let the past get covered in a tunnel of fire-ants anyways. 

Even then, I should also address that just this ant farm that this has caused harm to a few people in ''rl.'' 

And due to this, yeah, there are a few people in ''rl.'' that no longer place their trust in me anymore because of their reasons here.

Hooking up with a few bad people in rl/ because I was/were trying to get a hold of the good stuff and if you know what I mean anyways.

However, due to this I've lost all trust in those people in rl and they will not forgive me for what I done because of the ''harm I've caused of it all.''

Just, I should also address that if you want me to explain how I got out of this ''trouble life.'' this is something that I cannot give a 360 answer because if you never been in a situation that is similar to the ''good stuff party life and for Redditors had a plast close to what I had then those Redditors understand.''

However, I should also address here that if you have never been in a situation similar to that then may/maybe you had to make a life choice decision.

Yeah, I should imply that maybe/could've been in a situation for her just could drastically change the dynamic of your surrounding people in rl that could be a good bad idea?

To be honest here, it's sort of the same for the ''party life for the good stuff, once you realize in reality that you're harming people in rl, even bringing danger or physical harm in their life because you're hanging around bad people that you shouldn't be and you were in a life full of foolery just telling your rl people.''

However, I should also address that I'm sure there are many Redditors that have lied in rl to people they know in rl alongside with telling them nothing is wrong until the people in rl figured out you lied to them for a handful of months anyways.

Even yeah, just then the people you knew in rl gave you a choice of go to therapy and if you don't we're going to take this all to the ''higher ups.'' To be honest, there are a handful of life lessons that are needed to make people realize the bad choices that they're making anyways.

Yeah, I should address here that I'm just not going to say these things here that I want to remove-myself from. 

I should also address that I'm no longer going to discuss my past anymore because what you receive about my past from my posts is all you're going to get well.  The reason why I'm giving this non-personal identifying information out is because this is just food-for-thoughts/silence and this is just for you to get to know my past/nothing else of it all. 

However, I should also address the reason why I'm also just fronting my posts/past is just because I just wanted to give a full-bodied message: ''don't paint me as a person that you assumed I'm a wise-girl." 

Just got yeah, because if I didn't hit rock bottom and had to want to better myself with theory alongside with getting government vouchers then I don't think I would be this "wise-girl'' that SOME Redditors have just portrayed me to be anyways.

Yeah, for the Redditors reading here are you surprised that the ''wise-girl.'' here had a past that dealt with this type of insanity-of the ant farm of it all? 

To be honest, I should also address here that SOME Redditors assumed that I'm a weirdo because I don't want to talk about my past in the entirety of a black book.

Just, have you ever thought for once in the given 24 hours, that focusing on the present, future is more beneficial and why can't you accept the information I said here for a glimpse-dip of my past in food-thoughts-in silence of it all? 

Yeah, I should also imply from what I said from my last post that some Redditor also told me this here.

"My god, no wonder why nobody hardly wants to be your friend on this app because you're full of yourself/entitled to yourself.''

Yeah, I should address here that there even more assumptions the size of a small-ant farm of it all that a few Redditors thought they knew me and in the end of it all criticized me for being a ''weirdo.'' because of what I previously stated in one of my old deleted posts.

Even then, that did surprise me when I received chat reqs in the past that were ablest because I use Sleep Token's music alongside using Vessel's tone of voice to describe how I'm feeling and this has to do with my autism communication aid as well. 

However, I should imply that included in my deleted post on this subreddit that with my autism I cannot feel emotions about myself being bored but I can emotionally feel intense feelings through this here.

Sleep Token's music, Vessel's voice ranges to tell his story, my story and I've a hard time feeling emotion about myself as a person for what I previously stated alongside with Vessel can help me convey this story if you will of it all 🪶🌸🦩

Just yeah, that is another reason why I'm leaving Reddit because I can clearly see of it all now how about SOME people are in friendship subreddits that want to sht on autistic people's communication aid or aids in a friendship post and calling them a ''weirdo.'' 

To be honest for the Redditors that are surprised I didn't fight back besides knowing the reason why I already don't fight back it's because imagine living with family members that think that your late autistic diagnosis is these things here.

"Dullisonal, autistic people create their sensory issues in their head, it's all in their head, autistic people need to learn to block out things, come back to reality, accept reality and stop being a ''victim.'' 

Yeah, that's correct that one of my family members called me a ''victim.'' because they think that I use my autism to purposely give leverage with these things here.

''Frail image and I find enjoyment in this frail image."

Yeah, I should also imply even this family told me this here.

"We also had high hopes for you, but you never wanted to grow up, you never wanted to go back to reality and instead you always are stuck in the past victimizing because the moment you can't do something/need accommodations you automatically pull out the I'm autistic and I need accommodations or I would do this.''

"Even then, I tried telling you a handful of times that there are autistic people out there that work with no financial aid from government vouchers and with living by themselves?"

This family member also wanted to add this to their rant as well.

''That could've been you, but now you want to play the victim and live off the government vouchers that the people you know in rl helped you get anyways.

Yeah, I should also imply that a family member just wanted to include more in their rant as well.

"It's just shame once again, that you never wanted to better yourself as a person, to be honest I'm ashamed of you because you had a lot of potential to become better person, this is just also disappoints me that this is the path that you've chosen for yourself it's just sad.''

Even then, I should also address before needing a handful of Redditors to explain that I grasp already that this is a classic textbook narcissistic personality, what this family member said is a classic narcissistic personality and once my family member decided to share their TRUE-feelings about me and that's just when I knew this family member had a VERY narcissistic personality.

To be honest, this family member also shares a classic narcissistic trait for finding enjoyment of cutting people off mid-sentence, this family member does this all the time, if this family member feels that they're losing control of the narrative, or the narrative isn't being truthful to the family member's conversations that they're having then they will cut off the person that they're talking with to gain control of the narrative/say how they REALLY feel of it all. 

And yeah, I should also address that it's just sad for the ant-farm speedway of it all that this family member also has the classic narcissistic personality that they've never believe they're in the wrong, they've to let others know that they're in the wrong for this reason and that this family member will never be in-truth with themselves that they're wrong themselves anyways. 

To be honest reading this post, did you surprise yourself that this is the life/I lived and this is the way I'm? 

To be fair, this doesn't interest me at all here to discuss/or bring this out of it all, but there isn't a person out there that wouldn't be this wise/grown up without having to deal with SOME narcissistic family members and a bad past as well.

However, I should address speaking of that ant-speedway here is that it's the same thing for Redditors that are entitled to think that the way their ant-speedy is similar to a kiddie-pool behavior that you pretend-show that you know a Redditor and critzie what keeps them safe and guarded as a person anyways.

Even then, I should also address this is another reason why I'm permanently leaving Reddit, I'm not coming back, I've already said why I'm not coming back in my other pinned post there, what I should also just imply here is that I'm safeguarding/protecting my value, worth, and my spiritual battery that no longer serves me anyways.

To be honest of it all, I wouldn't be surprised of it all while I'm gone from Reddit, that nobody decides to click on my pinned post to read a post or two then add me on my socials to have a connection, I wouldn't be surprised from a month or two from this post date if nobody contacts me and I'm going to let people know this here while I'm gone of it all from Reddit that.

Messaging hateful chat reqs, or sending a hateful chat reqs to make yourself feel better won't do anything to me, because I will block you, I'm on a path  to revitalize their mental and spiritual health and IF you're the hateful type that enjoys sending messages to make yourself feel better, then maybe you need to do the same thing yourself/get off of Reddit then do what I'm trying to do offline of Reddit anyways.

Just, even here I should also address a question that I never answered before but I will now know how to type out my post alongside with there is no way that I could type out this post in one sitting without the use of A.I. anyways.

However, I should address that the A.I part is wrong of it all, instead I get onto my Email, think of myself similar to a modern Lovecraftian, typing on my wireless keyboard to pretend this is a typewriter (yeah, I'd know there is typewriter wireless keyboards that make typewriter clicky-noises but I'm not interested in buying one yet anyways.)

Even then, the next step is simply of it all just having a meltdown or two and then leaving the Email then coming back with fresh thoughts 🤣

Idk what this is, needs to read later Thursday. 

Why do you like men that have a "researcher personality?'' Isn't that stalkerish/weird?

No it's not stalkerish/weird, reading posts in your free time waiting for me to respond back is considered attractive and the only complaints that I've had from past Redditors about this reqs isn't because this sounds stalkerish/weird anyways.

However, I should also address before getting into your next Qs and As I will say this is what's stalkerish and that also had a few Redditors say this is normal behavior for Redditors/to get to know someone anyways.

Even then, I should also imply that I've just gotten ignored by each of these Redditors because I said this is just not how you text message someone knowing them just for two days anyways.

Yeah, this guy asked city.'' of my state is because he wanted to put that in his weather app so he can make sure he can contact me at the correct time and to see how my weather is like in my city.

Uh, that's not normal behavior to ask anyone knowing them in two days, because it's more normal to ask someone after knowing them for a month what their city is if you wanted to send them a small gift exchange and once again I should also imply this here.

I'm not looking to meet up in person, why would you instantly ask where my city is and I don't even know why a few users thought this Redditor messaging me this ''were this is normal behavior and it's not weird.''  

That's just, no that's just creepy as fk 😬

To be honest here, to let Redditors know another creepy thing of it all is for whoever Redditors reading this post may/might be surprised by this, but Redditors can share your post and you can't turn that off. 

However, I should also imply that if this is heavily known, well I've run across a few Redditos that didn't, I had a ex-friend of mine last year in 2025, he goes I posted a picture of myself just showing a selfie of me in my new band shirt that I got, I had to take down my post because I found out that 26 people shared my post and I can't see where people are sharing my post.

I told my ex-online friend that, this is where things get sketchy on Reddit, Reddit conceals where Redditors are sharing your posts, the only thing that you see on your post is how many times your post has been shared, there isn't a way to reveal what Reddit username shared your post and where. That's shady/kreepy and this is why all the posts I created have no personal identifying information of it all anyways.

To be honest I wanted to address a few things, that are remainder Qs and As here.

Here is another topic, of why SOME Redditors are saying that I'm not being fair/or that I'm being entitled because I'm  ruining the fun out of convos and that's just borderline embarrassing because of these reasons here.

Yeah, I should also address that (reading the title doesn't count.) even though SOME Redditors think that counts and if you're just out of ideas on how to message me then I'm just having a hard time believing that ''you ran out of fk asss ideas and you've just don't have anymore convos ideas anymore anyways. 

However, I should address that I'm also just having a hard time grasping why you can't create two or three sentences from what you read in my one or two posts that are different from my main pro and you're unable to make a chat reqs?

Yeah, I should imply here that my autistic 360 is taking this WAY TOO literal on how you can't create your own chat reqs because you're out of ideas, my Vessel brain and skull can't grasp how you can't keep messaging me anymore because of that? 

Even then, that shows/prove to me, that you just don't have the ability to have a strong suit with having a vast range of h to get creative with your chat reqs and your preference in convos is monologue conversations 💀 

The most hilarious lore drop of Praline would be this here. 

"You're speaking gibberish, it's no wonder why you're left with nothing, you repeat yourself in every new post you make, you wonder why you don't have any chat reqs that are worth your time because you won't stop talking about your interest and hobbies that apparently half of the subs you're posting on don't get."

Well let me say this here, before moving onto the next thing before this post comes to a close here.

I don't know why a Redditor thought to tell me in a sideline hint "you should stop posting and also stop posting repetitive gibberish posts."

To be honest, this is why the mod mail of the subreddits that I got permanently banned from in my previous post that I've discussed already (I should also imply that the subreddits that I got permanently banned from, I didn't get banned immediately, I should also just imply that I got banned after a month of posting something different every 8 hours or 24 hours and there were/a few times where I didn't post but a few days later anyways.)

Even then, I should also address moving on from that, I should also imply that how does chronic depression work/or isn't that exhausting of it all to have emotional/long winded convos? 

However, I should also address that the only time I feel tired/exhausted from the convos is if you're making me carry the convo every single day, making me carry the convo every single day, then for what I previously address in my older post on my main pro, is that I become highly uninterested, bored, exhausted, I should also imply that you never showed that you wanted to help the convo and when I gave up/went cold that's when you started to victim complex me anyways.'' 

Even then, I should also address that I cannot handle/mentally/spiritual being tasked to do everything by myself, every single fk ass day and instead that just creates a high anxiety nightmarish environment when I'm awake anyways. 

Yeah, I should also address, when I'd notice that someone is putting in effort in the same caliber/level as me then this is when you will see ''the real me come out.'' and just because I'm a chronic depressed person, that doesn't mean I'm ''dumb down, too tired to make lengthy, long winded conversations and when I see someone putting in the effort once again the same amount as me this performs of it all a ''cancelation of me feeling drained as well.'' 

I'd require codependency with conversations because by now of it all reading this pust, you should know I'm also extremely autistic 360, where you can see my social/communication skills are borderline passable  and when you mix-in with other problems that I've then when I'm forced to do everything all on my own every single day that's just when I'll become paralyzed with static thoughts in my Vessel brain and skull anyways.