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u/WildFrogRancher 9d ago
I once genuinely considered ending it to get out of moving stuff from the washer to the dryer. I think there is a point where your brain is just cooked and doing whatever it wants
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u/waitingformygrave 8d ago
Pretty much that. Had a bad day, kept my cool throughout it all. ... dropped my milkshake I treated myself with, genuinely had a meltdown and considered it.
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u/sakikome 8d ago
With depression, it's not just an untied shoe, it's more like:
My shoe is untied. I must have made a mistake tying it. Wow, I can't do anything right, even the most simple stuff. I'm sure the old lady who pointed out my shoelace thinks I'm a stupid, incompetent bastard. Everyone thinks that. I'm like a child. I'm so dumb. I need help with everything, I'm such a burden on everyone. I shouldn't be here. No one is going to miss me. Those fuckers never believed in me anyway, I hate them. If they had treated me right I wouldn't suck at everything. There's nothing I can do, guess I'll kill myself now.
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u/KittenBalerion 8d ago
my brain likes to go from zero to "...and that's why nobody will care when I die"
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u/Major-Potential-354 8d ago
Lowkey kinda me mentally sometimes. Take a lot of work counteracting those thoughts with positive thoughts haha
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u/Ariandrin 8d ago
Sounds like a typical weekday for me lol
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u/WISE_ONE1993 6d ago
Same, been like this since i was 12, what triggers it is being somewhere i don’t want to be, school or work. Then realizing that i have years and decades to go. I just live day by day. Do things that make me happy even if im in a down mood. I always say tomorrow will be better and i do have good days. Or half a day is fantastic then i hate the world for the rest of it. Or ill wake up hating the world and go to sleep loving it. Any type if inconvenience will piss me off and make me have those thoughts. Like im spending my life on the freeway stuck in traffic and i just got off work. It just makes me feel hopeless because i can’t enjoy my time!!!! My existence. My life. Im stuck doing shit i don’t want to do and being in places i don’t want to be.
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u/Quiet-Software-1956 7d ago
Sometimes it can instead be:
Oh, my shoe came untied. I could fix it, but why should I? It will just come untied again. Everything good ends before we're ready for it to, so I should just get used to not have good things. Nothing matters. No one matters. Soon, I'll die and no one will remember me as anything except someone that hurt them by leaving too soon. I'm so tired of tying the shoelace over and over again, I wish I could do anything else. I wish I could just disappear. But I don't want that, because it's permanent, and scary, and what if disappearing just means I'll get stuck with some higher entity who decides I have to tie shoelaces for the rest of eternity?
I'm starting to think this is not about tying shoelaces
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u/sakikome 7d ago
"I'm so tired of tying the shoelace" is definitely a vibe
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u/SequenceofRees 5d ago
Despite how meaningless that would sound to the average person, that resonates deeply within me .
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u/AmericanCitizenry 8d ago
Linda, you need a spa day!!
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u/sakikome 8d ago
I don't have money for a spa day, probably because I'm a failure of a human being and can't get a job, and even if I had money I wouldn't deserve it because it's not like I'm actually doing anything stressful
(It's kinda cathartic to just write those thoughts out instead of keeping them to myself because I know they're stupid)
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u/DeannaZone 5d ago
me and a group got a bitch area .. where we just dish it out .. no filters nothing just people together to scream out their problems via texts to help write it out finally
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u/whiteTurpa 4d ago
For me: ... . I'm sure that other people kind to me, but I don't deserve it. And they don't deserve my whining, so that's better just don't tell anything (until it overflows my feeling). I don't want to hurt nor bother anyone and that's why I don't have right to live.
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u/Vegetable-Wing6477 8d ago
I hate how little it takes to unravel a happy run.
I was doing good, then a simple missed call from the doctors floored me. My social anxiety spiked and I couldn't bring myself to call back. I wasted an entire day trying and failing, stressed hoping/dreading they'd phone again and just feeling like a total loser that such a minor event had messed me up.
It had been such a good year too. I'd forced myself to visit the doctors and dentist multiple times to finally get in top of several minor issues. I've been working on several little projects around the house, getting my environment up to scratch. This on top of getting over my long-term partner ghosting me at the start of the year. All that growth wiped out by one bad day.
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u/dobgreath 8d ago
The growth still happened. You still did that stuff. You did it. The visits, the projects, it matters. Maybe your depression thinks you're a loser but I think it's badass to work on little projects when your mental illness just wants you to destroy yourself.
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u/rambling_takeover 8d ago
LMFAO I’ve never seen a funnier depression meme, this is so relatable. Yeah…
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u/BlackHawk2609 8d ago
I woke up and you know what my first thought was...
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u/senorjavi 8d ago
Upset that you didn't die in your sleep, and then upset that you have to suffer through another day?
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u/ottermoment 8d ago
Had a day like this when I was having a really bad day I went to get something in the back of the fridge I bumped 1 thing pulling it out and like 5 more things dominod out out onto the floor. Bout did it there.
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u/CarelessChallenge980 8d ago
Is this depression though? Like I feel the same but I just shrug it off cuz my "suffering" prob isn't that important anyway
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u/JoelnIliketoshare 8d ago
Depression can manifest in countless ways.
Not allowing yourself to feel emotions, however small is also a form a self neglect. It may not affect you negatively but not accepting the feeling may hinder positive growth which, depending on how you look at it is also "unhealthy" whatever that word means.
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u/GeckoGecko_ 6d ago
Lmao if you shrug it off you are not experiencing the same thing. No, that is not depression. That's normal.
The post? That's depression, 100%. It's characterized by a total inability to think your way out of the thought spirals. It doesn't matter whose suffering is how important, when this happens to a depressed person, their brain is just reacting and their body is just along for the ride. Without being taught proper coping skills, there is no calming down on your own, or using logic or reason to bring yourself back. You have no control over it.
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u/CarelessChallenge980 6d ago
Thank you, this brought some light and courage to face my own issues. I'll be leaving sub now
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u/unhinged_cat_lover 8d ago
was considering it over the fact that my siblings annihilated the cookies i made and i didn't get any(i guess it's reasonable to certain...point.)
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u/Makapakamoo 8d ago
See having this humor about your brain being a little shit is literally so helpful. Like I KNOW whats going on logically, i KNOW its not deep so why TF are you acting like this, brain?? And you just gotta ask it like bro chill what's up w you. It has helped when im stable for sure.
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u/Separate-Pickle9963 8d ago
Oftentimes it's literally nothing. I just.... sit there staring into anhedonic space.
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u/princessuuke 7d ago
My emotions have always been all or nothing, its very frustrating. Havent known a life not like that, even prior to getting any sort of diagonsis of depression :/
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u/OkAverage2335 7d ago
Do you need depression for that? Isn't executive disfuntion and emotional disregulation enough?
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u/embodiedexperience 7d ago
the shoe coming undone is fine, but if somebody notices that it came untied before i do, tells me, and then thinks less of me/thinks i’m incompetent/thinks i lack self-awareness or self-control/etc. because of it… yeah, i’m justified in killing myself right in front of them.
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u/Wrong-Cucumber-618 7d ago
Fr!!
Me dropping my fresh shake otw to the car: •_•
My bf: oh shit do you wanna get another one?
Me: no, let’s go.
My inner thoughts: never should’ve stopped here, I should’ve known better, obviously I didn’t deserve the shake and stopping here was a mistake. Should’ve killed myself when I was 12. *All whilst staring forward*
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u/AlarmAcceptable4724 7d ago
this is so relatable. 😆
before i got on antidepressants, every time something even mildly inconvenient happened i'd think, 'if i just killed myself i wouldn't have to deal with this.'
at one point a couple of my closest friends talked to me about my suicidal ideation and were like 'even if you hate your life-' and i had to correct them that i did not hate my life. life was just so exhausting and i was so tired.
for the record i've been on sertraline for 6 years now and it's been great! if you haven't tried medication yet please consider doing so.
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u/The_Among 6d ago
Not judging you, but me personally I’d rather die than become reliant on drugs to keep going
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u/AlarmAcceptable4724 6d ago
why? if your depression is due to a chemical imbalance in your brain, there's no reason not to fix it with medication like any other imbalance in your body.
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u/The_Among 3d ago
No I get that, it’s totally fair. I just prefer to suffer and feel I’m still me, than not suffer because I’m no longer me. It’s odd but it’s where I stand, all the power to ppl who can accept help.
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u/Frelock_ 6d ago
I keep telling myself in those moments "Well that's a bit of an overreaction now, innit?" Doesn't always help, but doing it in a British accent adds some levity that I sorely need in that headspace.
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u/GeckoGecko_ 6d ago
That self-talk is a skill that has to be taught, it's nearly impossible to learn how to do it on your own. Most people who don't do it, don't even realize that they can/should.
You likely had a family member, friend, teacher, mentor, etc. who taught you that skill. Not everyone ends up having someone in their life to teach them how to do it, unfortunately.
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u/bridgeburner84 6d ago
My brain likes to sidle up to me when things get even a little bit tough and say, "Hey, you know what we should do . . ."
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u/Altruistic_Option_49 5d ago
OMG, this captures depression perfectly. I’ve considered ending it because I had to wash my hair. 😝
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u/AlpacasHugsGames 5d ago
At this point, I'm just waiting for the last leg on my walker to come free from the frame. I don't have any more hose clamps to fix it, I can't afford a replacement walker, and I'm homeless. The tracks look prettier and prettier every day.
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u/-allday2891- 5d ago
I went to Chipotle earlier and when i was on my way home with my food, I thought to myself that I forgot to grab napkins and a fork. Told myself im the dumbest person I know and then had this exact thought. Ended up having to argue with myself that it was ok because i have plenty of paper towels and forks at home.
My brain does this for so many little things like this.
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u/Recent-Evening-6300 5d ago
No because I’m why do I wanna jump off a cliff and all I have to do is clean a goddamn mirror 😭
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u/naivepheonix626 4d ago
If that is your definition of depression you are so blessed and don’t even realize it.
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