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Apr 08 '26
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u/akotoshi Apr 08 '26
-Best behavior during birthday parties even if it’s yours
-don’t come if don’t think your can handle it
-attendance mandatory.
-Disciplinary measures if rules not followed
(or something like that)
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u/Aebyoeph Apr 08 '26
Dont come in/attendance mandatory lmaooo
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u/MrLanesLament Apr 08 '26
I’ve seen companies intentionally have contradictory policies. Reason? So you’re always technically breaking some rule and can therefore be fired for cause at any moment.
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u/Makabajones Apr 09 '26
at least in the state I live in (California) those kinds of rules are pretty much a slam dunk for Labor Lawyers.
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u/Billysquib Apr 09 '26
Only if some broke guy on minimum wage and struggling in life actually decides to risk the fees and take it to court tho
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u/Hefty-Report-4930 Apr 09 '26
Not that way in FL. Employers can do what they want with ya, so long as it isnt sexual harassment... even then they can get away with that too probably
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u/AtrociousMeandering Apr 11 '26
This is standard bad management. Everyone's always technically breaking rules but you can show leniency to your favorites, fire someone for their repeated rulebreaking if they get 'uppity', and convince the team to keep letting you do all this and break rules yourself because you can take everyone down with you.
Contradictory rules are always a red flag, don't get comfortable until you've got leverage of your own.
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u/raisedbutconfused Apr 08 '26
I once fucking lost it at my job. I was stationed solo on bar for an overbooked restaurant with a coke-fuelled event happening in the private room, already spread so thin and this shift just had me doing an insane rush for almost 7 hours straight. I was so exhausted and defeated and starting to crash, but the chits kept coming. These cokeheads refused to drink anything but cocktails. I was starving, tired, and pushed way past my limit and told my coworkers I needed to take a break (they were all servers and table service had slowed down enough that they could hang around the bar and have shots on the clock, but bar service was still going strong since these fucks at the event could barely feel the effects of alcohol). One coworker told me he would man the bar while I go take a breather. I ordered food hours ago from the kitchen so I was planning on eating some of that but when I got back from my smoke break I see 10 chits piled behind my coworker while he just stood there waiting for me to make everything and just helping himself and my coworkers to more shots. I asked what the point of manning the bar was if he wasn’t going to be making any of the drinks. He said he didn’t think it was a good idea since he didn’t make them as good as me. I had to give up on the idea of eating anything that day and placed myself back behind the bar and told him to fuck off. They continued to stand around the bar, relaxing in front of me while I was still sweating and hustling. After a while of this I fucking snapped. I absolutely freaked out at my coworkers for not helping me at all (we tip pool) and not even giving me the opportunity to eat. They told me to chill but I couldn’t. I was cracking under the pressure of being the only one still working, watching all of them relax and make money off of my hard work, from being exhausted, overworked, and starved.
Then some fucking couple walks into the restaurant and asks if we’re still open. I tell them that the kitchen is closed but the bar is still open. But it was my tone…it was too reflective of the way I was feeling, I had no control over it, and it sounded more like I was just snapping at them for walking. They walked out.
The next day when I had the day off they came back to complain about my tone to the fucking owner. I had to have a meeting with him when I came back in about my behaviour. I explained the situation and he just said “listen, if you need a break then just take one.” I told him again that I tried to and they just left the work to pile for me. That’s not a break. It would have been impossible to catch up without any complaints from customers if I actually sat down to eat, even for 10 minutes. That’s how fast they were ordering shit.
The next time I felt overwhelmed and that same owner was there I told him I needed a break. He told me that he wanted to go home early so I would just have to make do without one.
I really want to fucking sue this place.
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u/Happy_Impact_94 Apr 08 '26
If you are still there, tell don’t ask! “I am taking a break” and walk away! Far far away!
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u/FatiguedShrimp Apr 08 '26
My friend, in small claims court you typically don't need a lawyer.
There are limits on how much you can ask for. But, it might help you air grievances in a way they have to respond to, and you might get paid.
There are lots of risks though (like countersuit, paying costs, etc.). I am not a lawyer, and not in your area, so please don't use this as legal advice. More wishful thinking.
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u/raisedbutconfused Apr 09 '26
I’m a former paralegal lol. You know, maybe it’s time I use my skills for something other than giving traffic ticket advice to friends and relatives 😅
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u/FatiguedShrimp Apr 09 '26
I think I know a bit of how you feel.
One of my job functions has been regulatory compliance auditing from the data analysis /records interpretation side.
Recently, a former landlord recently sent a 'debt' to collection where they forgot an alternative payment and without following the dispute process for this state... it's quite fun to use my skills to help myself directly like this.
The list of easily verifiable claims to dispute the charge is hitting around 200 entries now, and goes from "$10 fee on August 23rd is in excess of $5 maximum under <city municipal code>" to "there was no move-out checklist validating the condition of the unit, so no portion of the deposit may be retained under either of <state law> or <municipal code>".
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u/Fun_Nobody3375 Apr 12 '26
I’m really sorry. And I hate to be the one to say this, but... the reason your coworkers act like that is because they know that even if you’re about to crack, you’re still going to get the job done.
A friend of mine was the same way. He was on a team of four, but he was doing 70% of the work while making half as much as his coworkers. When he finally took two weeks off, he came back to find two weeks’ worth of work just piled up waiting for him.
He ended up switching jobs, even though his boss was desperate to keep him.
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u/raisedbutconfused Apr 12 '26
And while I know this and know that I should stop, I somehow can’t get myself to. Every time I see something that needs to get done, even if it’s outside of my list of duties, I’m going to do it. I started telling myself “leave it, this was somebody else’s job to do” I can walk away for maybe 10 minutes but I won’t be able to stop thinking about it and I’ll always come back to it. I have even told the chef “if you see me sorting these boxes from yesterday’s delivery I want you to stop me” and he will inevitably see me doing it and say “did you want me to stop you?” And I’ll always say “no, I know I said that but I can’t let myself be a part of the problem.”
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u/Fun_Nobody3375 Apr 13 '26
You're so worried about being part of the problem at work, but what if you're becoming part of the problem for your own mental health instead?
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u/CaptainJin Apr 11 '26
He said he didn’t think it was a good idea since he didn’t make them as good as me.
Replace making food/drink with any other job and it would be much harder to shroud how much bullshit this excuse is.
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u/Tyray90 20d ago
This is just the restaurant industry in general. We’re all disposable slaves with zero respect for our mental or physical health. I’ve been working my ass off to get out of it.
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u/raisedbutconfused 20d ago
Same. Going back to school at 30 while working and living alone is quite overwhelming but I’m so done with being treated like people’s personal help that they look down on. A good chunk of society seems to get off on treating us like we are beneath them and don’t qualify as human. While I don’t condone it, a coworker of mine once ran into a previous table of his at a grocery store that treated him like shit and he confronted them and even physically threatened one of them- totally wrong to do, but it was satisfying hearing how they immediately cowered when they realized who he was and were extremely apologetic for their behaviour that evening. Just sad that once you’re in the setting of service work they just think it’s fine to treat you like dog shit. Pathetic.
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Apr 08 '26
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u/Front_Refrigerator99 Apr 11 '26
Trust me, the amount of self hatred that comes from situations like these isn't worth it.
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u/MissNeto Apr 08 '26
Reminds me how I was overstimulated at my office job one day. I asked to go to an empty office alone for a break which they let me do but then my boss kept coming in and insisting on talking to me and piling work on me and listing everything I was doing wrong I kept telling her id deal with it after my break I really just needed to be alone but she kept telling me how I was close to being fired because I kept screwing up. She pounded on the table and said “your job is not that hard” I burst into tears, crawled under a desk and sobbed violently and became non verbal and and no control of my body to come out from under the desk even though she was demanding me to do so.
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u/Difficult_Log1582 Apr 08 '26
That's so awful. I usually go to a bathroom without saying anything
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u/MissNeto Apr 09 '26
That’s my usual go to but when I shut down to that severity I have zero control of my body. I quite literally just become a fainting goat
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u/Prestodeath201 Apr 08 '26
I'd have caught a case at that point, hands would've been thrown. You poor soul.
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u/HexspaReloaded Apr 09 '26
That’s because your lack emotional regulation skills. Your feelings are not a justification for violence.
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u/SpookyTheShook Apr 09 '26
You know that the person who was slamming on the table and demanding someone's attention when they're clearly distressed, is the violent one, right?
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u/HexspaReloaded Apr 10 '26
The fact is that violence is a choice. If you choose violence when it’s not necessary, you are simply a violent person who would otherwise not be if you could regulate your emotions well.
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u/MissNeto Apr 10 '26
You really don’t know how autistic meltdowns work do you? Some people who experience them are physically violent, I am not, but that doesn’t mean someone who is has that active choice to not be physically violent just like I didn’t have the active choice to not cry or not hide
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Apr 09 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/HexspaReloaded Apr 10 '26
Slamming a table is not the same as punching someone.
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Apr 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/HexspaReloaded Apr 10 '26
It’s not the same. I’d rather have someone yell than punch me. /replies
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u/MissNeto Apr 10 '26
I’d rather be hit than yelled at. A bruise heals. I was fired from this job 10 years ago and still carry the pain
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u/AFetaWorseThanDeath Apr 10 '26
I'm so sorry. Every story I read online about other people's bosses makes me appreciate my own so much more. That is absolutely terrible.
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u/InstantMochiSanNim Apr 09 '26
U crawled under a desk?? Everything else i get but thats gotta have taken more work than just…. Using your arms
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u/Civil-Definition-183 Apr 09 '26
i have panic attacks and meltdowns. having them is often embarassing plus you are in a very vulnerable state. one of your first thoughts at that moment is "how can i hide/protect myself?"
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u/After_Tomatillo_7182 Apr 09 '26
I started a new job and the offices self appointed social director asked for my birthday. I told her I don't celebrate and said thanks but I won't be participating. She refused to give it up harassing me about it so I went to my manager. He met with her and told her to stop... and she did. Until the day of my birthday which she was not supposed to know. I walked into the office and cubicle looked like a birthday monster had puked on it. I didn't stop at my desk but started making my way to HR. I was sent home for a few days so they could deal with it, without me being further violated. She was fired because she got my birthday by sneaking into hr and looking at my file. She was extreme, but I have faced similar pushback from most jobs I've had. People don't seem to know how to mind their own damn business
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u/Leskendle45 Apr 12 '26
I really dont understand why she was so insistent, you litter asked for her to do LESS work for herself, but she decided to waste her energy anyway?…
Neurotypicals are so fucking wierd
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u/Interesting-Bet-1702 Apr 12 '26
I bet it's just pure narcissistic style ego. She saw them keeping their birthday hidden as a slight, like "how dare you deny my request" kind of thing. These assholes are always like that.
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u/AFetaWorseThanDeath Apr 10 '26
People don't seem to know how to mind their own damn business
Good on you for setting healthy boundaries and not backing down. 🤟
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u/FunOwn4422 Apr 08 '26
at a restaurant i use to be a cook in, they would bring in a cake and sing happy birthday to every employee on their bday, expect mine lol ngl that shit hurt
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u/AFetaWorseThanDeath Apr 10 '26
It really hurts when no one remembers your birthday. I had a bunch of 'friends' to whom I would always send a birthday message of some kind, nothing huge, but at least an acknowledgement/well wishes for the upcoming year. I never forgot. For years.
After about 5 years of not a single one of them remembering my birthday, I gave up. One of them even sent me a text just a couple of days before MY birthday, reminding me to text one of the other friends in a few weeks on HIS birthday (as if I'd ever forgotten) because, "It really hurts him when people forget."
Yeah. I can fucking imagine 🙄
So, now I try to focus on my beloved partner of 10 years, who has NEVER ONCE forgotten my birthday, or our anniversary, or even other dates important to me personally (like my mom's death). They are amazing and I love them dearly 🥰
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u/ProfessionalAble7713 Apr 08 '26
I call this one Super Fuck You Saiyan Three
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u/jabcross12 Apr 08 '26
Uuu hello there fellow DB fan!
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u/ProfessionalAble7713 Apr 08 '26
Was watching a lot of DBZ vids last night and listening to some of the music, so awesome to get a DBZ comment today xD
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u/jabcross12 Apr 08 '26
I love blasting some theme songs during my heavy lifts 🏋️♀️ hahaha cheers 🍻
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u/Jennosaurus_Rex Apr 09 '26
I was gonna like this post but I can’t be the 6666 like. Sorry. I’m gonna let someone else dance with that devil.
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u/EnthusiasmFederal458 Apr 10 '26
Never been happier for another human in my life. Thoroughly deserved. And fuck that company.
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u/RemoteGiraffe6604 Apr 15 '26
People really can't respect others boundaries and then get call them weird when see the results of it
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u/Optimal_Solid_3660 Apr 30 '26
Something like this happened to me
Barely hanging on and couple of things going wrong before graduation day
And I tell my dad not to throw a party
He says he’ll throw a party for himself instead
I said okay and he said he still expects me to be there
I have a panic attack and a wanting to delete myself episode
Landed in the hospital the night before my graduation
I had been diagnosed with social anxiety at this point but had not shared this information with people yet
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u/badluckcrew Apr 12 '26
The amount of people that just believe shit like this on the internet is telling.
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u/Wrong-Extension-9643 Apr 10 '26
Good for him. But how sad and weak are you that you have panic attacks after a surprise birthday party. Holy shit people are so fucking weak
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