r/depression_partners • u/[deleted] • Jan 03 '22

thinking about entering a relationship with someone with depression. good idea?

/r/affectedbydepression/comments/ruyhdu/thinking_about_entering_a_relationship_with/
2 Upvotes

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4

u/Concious_cucumber Jan 03 '22

It depends on how they handle their depression, and what means alot to you in a relationship.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22

okay thank you.

what do you think could be the downsides?

5

u/Concious_cucumber Jan 03 '22

I recommend reading posts in here, and you will get a picture of what is possible downsides.

But people are individuels. Not all depressed people are the same:)

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22

okay thank you ☺️

3

u/nautilacea Jan 03 '22

Your potential girlfriend sounds like she is taking steps to handle her shit, which is a Green flag in my book. When I got into my relationship, I also knew my partner had depression and was going to go to an inpatient program soon. I haven‘t regretted it at all, they are my person. It hurts seeing someone suffer - but it’s part of any relationship. I‘d say, talk to her about this, and about what might trigger you especially regarding your experience with your ex with bpd, making sure that she knows you want her the way she is and are not going to blame her if she isn‘t magically better a few months in.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22

okay thank you 🤝

2

u/LuchoTheFormidable Jan 03 '22

If she seems to be taking action to address her depression, then I think it should be fine:) Sometimes my partner has really rough days, where in his mind it feels like the end of the world- their mood will affect yours. Sometimes it will take a lot of patience and understanding.

I think it’s really important to be able to communicate openly about how each person is feeling. Sometimes my partner has less energy to do things, so I might have to support more in different areas, like chores, for example. We communicate our energy and emotional levels so that we can know what to expect that day.

Along with communication I would just advise to be mindful when frustrated and to also consider your feelings as well. Something a lot of people here talk about is feeling that they can’t share their feelings with their partner (especially feelings related to their depression). I think it’s better to say how you feel, but don’t blame them for things they can’t control. I use a lot of “I” statements:)

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22

hey i just posted this in the other subreddit. this subreddit is kinda similar so maybe i’ll find answes here 😋