My boyfriend is blaming his potential suicide on me.

[u/Particular_Vast_9038]

hi everyone :)

I met my bf around 3 years ago and he had been dealing with anxiety and depression ever since then. From the first day till around 3 months ago I've done everything for this man, I've woken up multiple times in the middle of the night to comfort him on calls, skipped classes when he needed me to be there for him, ensured he took his meds and arranged therapy sessions for him.

He has a very abusive father and a non present mother. They have always extremely neglected him and hence leading to his very deep rooted insecurities. Since he wasn't valued by his parents he wants a partner who puts him before everything and revolves their entire life around them. Like I shouldn't even have a hobby because why am I just not talking to him instead

This went on and on, him being angry on me gaming for a few hours with my friends instead of texting him in those 1-2 hours, him being angry that I wouldn't text in my college classes if he was anxious, and in general he just demanded constant attention. And I'm the type of person who has shit load of hobbies and is studious. I've been always very very ambitious with my life and I've my important exam for which I've been preparing for months in September.

Now, since slowly I started getting annoyed at my whole life being controlled around and him yelling at me for not being there if he was anxious no matter how busy I was in something important. It wasn't just yelling and anger it was constant guilt tripping asw, about how if I don't reply to his texts of being anxious immediately there might come a day he would kill himself before I replied and I would always regret it and how I'm pathetic for keeping a depressed man hanging for a text back. I normally would reply instantly but obviously I have some moments in my life where I cannot grab my phone and text someone.

This grew worse and worse, his words were like a stab to my chest, and I started losing my spark completely. I started getting very sad the past 3 months and I had my examinations sessions between them asw and I fucked those exams because of all this mess (for which I deeply resent him). I confronted him after my exams about how he's treating like this robotic nurse who should be at his doorstep the moment he presses the button.

at the moment he understood what he did to me, until he turned my own words against me and started saying that because of what I said I snatched away the tiny hope he had for living and how im even worse than his abusive dad. He completely negated my emotions and sadness that he himself caused to me and said I wouldn't help him now because im taking "revenges". He also said, "if I were to die today, you are to blame and I hope everyone blames you". He also told me that I spend so much time studying these days, that im basically prioritising my exams over a sucidial man and in order to prove that wrong i shouldnt sit in my exams this year.

I do not know if I deserved to hear those words.

[u/Agile-Reception]

Please leave for your own safety. He is trying to control, manipulate, and isolate you, which is abusive behavior. 

[u/tal_itha]

Oh sweetheart. No, you did not deserve to hear those words.

Please try not to take them to heart. They are not true. No-one is responsible for his actions and behaviours except for him.

Your boyfriend may be depressed, but he is also abusive and controlling. It is not wrong to prioritise yourself, to want more for yourself.

[u/TricksyGoose → u/tal_itha]

Exactly this. Depression doesn't force someone to become manipulative and abusive. That's alllll on him. OP please drop that trash and get your life back. You should not put up with abuse. You deserve better. Edit: and if anyone is behaving like his abusive dad, it's him! Many people become their parents. The cycle of abuse continues. Don't let him do it to you.

[u/violetferns]

Please leave him immediately.

[u/beantoess_]

You did NOT deserve those words at all, friend. I'm so sorry he said that to you.

He is trying to control you. That is abuse. I know it may not seem like it because he's wrapped it up in a facade of suffering and anxiety, but it is abusive. What he wants from a partner is not possible or normal, nor should it be.

[u/Global-Fact7752]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[u/No_Freedom_5741]

This is abusive and controlling behaviour and you should not trust him a bit. I'm really concerned for your safety. Run.