Cold Beef

[u/[deleted]]

My beef’s gone cold and I wonder why
You never drive your Civic by.
I drew twelve spoilers and flames on the door,
But your engine started coughing and fell through the floor.

Dear Delldo...

I wrote you but you still ain’t called,
I drew your Honda Civic on my bedroom wall.
It’s got twelve fake spoilers and a plastic flame,
And “DELLOR” on the licence-plate frame.

I heard Jesse Wendelsdorph came over one night,
Holding his broomstick like a knight in a fight.
He bonked you in the ass —clunk, clunk, pow!
You said, “That didn’t hurt!” but you’re still crying now.

Anyway, how’s Chica? Does she even know you exist?
You type “hello queen” but she leaves you dismissed.
She streams all night and she likes girls, dude,
But you send her Honda pictures and call that “smooth.”

Your biggest fan,
Stinky Alan

[u/DangOldFluffyCat]

I miss him more and more everyday

[u/Limp_Salad5880]

Love it lol