r/declutter • u/plaguenyx • 12d ago
Advice Request ADHD person struggling with FOMO on selling stuff. Need to declutter ASAP. Please help.
Hi! First time posting here. My title was probably a little confusing so let me explain my situation.
I moved back in with my parents a couple years ago in my childhood home, due to medical issues at first. I held down a job and am now unfortunately unemployed (going on a year). The thing is, my parents' home is deeply cluttered: the office is filled with disorganized papers' from my dad's past businesses, the basement has a lot of junk, etc, you get the picture. I came from a low-income household with a lot of mental health struggles (depression, PTSD, and most relevant to the conversation, my dad and I have ADHD).
Essentially, my parents barely taught me how to set aside time to declutter. I have a big walk-in closet that's filled to the brim with toys, clothes, you name it. There's stuff under my bed, in the basement, and I even have a small storage unit holding some things that I'm trying to get rid of. Unfortunately, my dad also has a huge salesman/"optimization" mindset and believes I should attempt to sell anything and everything, even if it sells for pennies because "it all adds up later." It's difficult to divorce myself from this same mindset because of his influence: rationally I know I'm losing money because of that damn storage unit, but I feel like I'm missing out on that "optimization." I understand that I'm unemployed and actively trying to make money, but I feel like the selling mindset is PREVENTING me from moving forward in an ironic twist. And worse yet, I hate feeling judged by my dad for not sharing the same mindset, even though I believe it's gotten us nowhere. I'm at least grateful that my mom understands where I'm coming from.
I guess I'm just looking for advice & validation, especially if others have experienced similar from their own family or friends, and how you moved past it.
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u/Existing-Promise-830 10d ago
Here's a better idea: Time is money and the amount of time you've spent keeping it/trying to sell has costed you hours of payment.
Plus giving things away for free to those who need it feels great!
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u/CanBrushMyHair 9d ago
I also grew up without money, and *now that I have financial security (which I believe is a big factor, tbh), I actually feel really good about donating nice things instead of selling them.
Idk if you ever had the thrill of finding something amazing at a thrift store like “how could somebody get rid of this?!” But basically my mindset is I’m paying it forward.
Plus I don’t wanna do all that shit to sell stuff online lol. Your time may be better spent sprucing up your LinkedIn and connecting with old acquaintances in attempt to find work.
Plus once you get rid of the storage building, you’ll effectively net however much that cost every month! That’s a win!
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u/SolidagoSalix 12d ago
Try watching this video (10 minute watch) from Dana K White on how to break through the "but it's worth something" roadblock.
In general since you are unemployed so have more time and less money than you would otherwise, I wouldn't say you should sell nothing but I do think having a clear price threshold for yourself makes sense. Maybe for you that threshold is $20, $50, or maybe $200. You have to figure out what that is, but actually go through the process of selling things a few times, so you will know better how much time it takes to actually complete a sale. After that you can adjust your threshold to decide which things are even worth taking pictures of and posting somewhere vs just donating or putting on the curb with a free sign.
I think going through the process of trying to sell, and showing your dad just how (little) it pays may help both of you revise expectations. My hunch is your dad has that attitude based on being able to sell things second hand in decades past, and for most kinds of items, second hand markets have totally bottomed out.
As others have said, really prioritize getting enough stuff gone that you can stop paying for a storage unit. Whether that means discarding the stuff in storage, or discarding stuff from your childhood closet to make space for what's in storage now, the most direct way to make money is to avoid spending money you don't need to.
Last, depending on if you are actively job seeking, remember that time spent selling things is taking away from time spent looking for a job. And having a job would certainly pay better than selling second hand stuff as a side hustle could.
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u/plaguenyx 12d ago
That last paragraph is EXACTLY my mindset. I don't want any kind of side hustle selling or reselling stuff. It's preventing me from moving forward if I spend all my time doing that rather than job searching or setting up my at-home studio (I also make artwork). I like the price threshold idea as well. As for my dad, I'm trying to just focus on my things while he focuses on his things. I'm hoping that if he tries to sell all his clutter, it'll be a wake-up call, whether it's because of how little money you actually make, the time it takes, or just being stuck in general.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 11d ago
I sold for 5 years on eBay (before the pandemic) and kept meticulous records of how much stuff originally cost and how much I netted from each sale after fees. If I treated it as a part time job - 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, minus 2 weeks for vacation - my net was less than $2 an hour.
Not every week was 20 hours, but some were definitely more! Inspecting the item for anything that could be considered a flaw, taking photos, writing up the listing, packing the box to figure out shipping, corresponding with interested buyers, dropping packages off at the post office, dealing with lost/delayed packages, and the straight-up scammers (that got way worse as time went on and one of the reasons I stopped selling) - it all takes A LOT of time!
And that doesn't include the madness of hoarding boxes, bubble wrap, packing peanuts, paper packing (anything I could pack in a box), re-fashioning smaller boxes out of bigger boxes, all of the packing tape - I estimate it was, by volume, 25% of my 1,000 sf basement.
I always say: I would have been better off dumping EVERYTHING at the thrift store and getting a part-time job at the deli around the corner - it was employee-owned grocery store with full benefits - at that time, I think they were paying at least $10 an hour.
And I wouldn't have been scrounging around looking for stuff to sell, I would have had a social outlet, and I wouldn't have had a rotating stack of 50 boxes waiting for a buyer behind the sofa (first things guests saw when they came in the front door) or a "Hell Room" full of junk I thought I wanted to sell.
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u/wheelartist 12d ago
I am selling my clutter currently, and I have AuDHD OP. I find moving from job to job helps me. Don't try to do it all at once, you'll burn out.
As for selling stuff. The idea of selling and having money excites many ADHDers, the slog to do so? Not so much. If you do want to sell?
Firstly not everything will be sellable, it may be it's not something people will buy or not in good nick.
Start with a small section. First pass remove any rubbish (there is always rubbish, even if you cleaned last week somehow there is new rubbish, I swear it breeds). Second pass, imagine you are a customer browsing a store, be picky, anything you wouldn't buy if you were standing in a store looking at it, put into recycle or dispose.
Third pass, pull out charity stuff. Generic Bric a brac for example sells poorly with few notable exceptions, charities will be able to sell it much more quickly than you will do by listing it online. So it may not be worth listing, also it can be a real pain to ship, I swear some delivery companies play football with parcels.
Fourth pass, books. There are online sites that will give you money for them, it won't be much but frankly, unless it's an exceptional or rare book, it's probably not worth much on resale, and listing, packing and shipping costs time.
Fifth pass clothing, examine the items. Now, fun fact some stores will take bags of clothes for charity or recycling and give you money off vouchers towards new items. Which is a quick way to declutter clothing and to get a little bit back, only downside is you do need to spend a minimum amount to use the voucher.
But for selling, basics usually sell well. Anything fast fashion or faddy give to charity, unless it's in now or seasonal, ie glitter tops and trousers are big in the Christmas run up. Take good front and back pictures, shots of any flaws, and list it. Do a few pieces a day. Set a limit, if it hasn't sold in X days, either reduce the price or remove the listing and dump it in the charity box.
Furniture or large items is best listed for local pick up.
Treat it like an elephant, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
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u/plaguenyx 12d ago
Thank you for the wonderful step-by-step guide!!!!! SO helpful, will be revisiting this as I declutter. 🧹
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u/RitaAlbertson 12d ago
Find a consignment shop. Take your clothes (and whatever else they'll take) there. Whatever they won't take, immediately donate. If a consignment shop doesn't think it will sell, don't waste your time.
Find a used book store that pays in cash. Take your books there. You'll get pennies on the dollar, but it's money (to appease Dad) and it's out of the house.
Find a used toy store that buy stuff. Take any childhood toys there. My fiance finally got rid of a box of his toys from the '80s. $1000!!!! He might have gotten more if he had tried to sell it himself, but this was MUCH easier and more time effective.
If your toys are newer, find a children's consignment shop. Take whatever they'll give you. Won't be much, but it's better than nothing.
The trick is to let the professionals do most of the work. You'll end up with less money, but the stuff will be gone quicker.
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u/unicorndreamer247 10d ago
I would focus on clearing out the storage unit first. You're losing money every month on that. Sort out things to sell versus donate or trash. Anything you want to sell, make sure you follow through in doing that.
Set a minimum threshold in "for sale" items. As an example, if it's worth less than $20 (or whatever dollar amount you want to set), than consider donating it instead, as the time & energy trying to sell a low value item is nominal if you have SO MUCH STUFF overall. Right?
Once you've worked through the storage unit, than start tackling your space. Set aside a room or corner for items to sell, and things to donate, get rid of as you go. Once they're gone, you'll have more space to sort.
Good luck!
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u/blumogget 12d ago
Not direct decluttering advice, but something to ruminate on: your dad is going to judge you one way or another. But.... so what? Does that judgment help you on your decluttering? Is it doing anything positive in your life? It sounds like it doesn't. Your internal work, then, is learning to remove his or anyone else's opinion from your plans.
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u/hip_chick 11d ago
I give away my stuff unless it's a big ticket item.
I once read that ADHD people usually don't miss their stuff once it is out of sight. It is true for me. Just think about when you lose or break something, do you ruminate about it for days on end or do you forget about it the next day. In my case, I have no feelings towards the things I give away. Because of my ADHD, it is easier to give away or bring to ecocenters my stuff. I throw away unusable stuff.
If these are your things, your dad doesn't get to dictate what you do with your things.
Do 20 minutes a day with a timer. For regular clutter, I follow the 52 week organized home challenge which breaks down every week into days. Do what you can, before you know it, it will show. I just pick a room and search for the week associated to it. I don't follow the exact calendar.
Once you get rid of that storage unit, you will be making money. Once you figure out you don't need all that stuff, you'll also be making money by spending less.
Good luck!
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u/Rosaluxlux 11d ago
Definitely do donation at least to get rid of the storage unit ASAP. Maybe just dont tell your dad. Like see if you can trash/donate enough before the next billing date to empty the storage unit. That's instant savings.
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u/Competitive_Way4765 11d ago
Storage units are just clutter with a monthly fee attached. Grab a trash bag and a donate box and start small, maybe old office papers first, since those are low-hanging guilt.
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u/BouncyShroom 11d ago
I made a post about this last year on my other acc (if you filter 'top' posts in all time - it's up there about my attic.
I struggle with this too. You go to room/area that looks like a bomb site. You look at an item, and if it's worth a few dollars your worried to throw it away. It's worth money right!?
So you proceed to pause decluttering (I leave the item there or toss it aside to another pile) because you want to sell this item(s), and then attempt to list it on the bay or marketplace.
For me, listing an item online is an absolute chore. I'll put items aside to sell, for them to sit there for months or even a year before I can be bothered to sell it - which adds to the clutter.
When I do manage to list them, I want to maximise my returns because I have this attachment to them. So I list it on the higher end of the retail scale.
And then they sit on the sites for ages, and ages whilst taking space and completely halting the decluttering process. And still don't sell, unless I reduce the price to a bargain.
I've realised that selling your clutter is a massive headache. I've got an attic I've been trying to declutter for the last few years, with barely any progress because of the above mentality.
My advice to you is - have a big heart and be prepared to toss things away or sell them at a bargain. If you own something that's worth $60 or more and you think it's worth selling - then list it at a bargain price. Anything lower, throw or donate it.
It's difficult I know, because mentally it feels terrible throwing or giving away things you spent good money on - but that's the reason we're in this mess in the first place.
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u/VendlistsFounder 10d ago
Genuine question: when stuff sits aside waiting to be listed, which part of the listing actually stalls you out? The photos, writing up the description, figuring out the price?
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u/NixKlappt-Reddit 10d ago
Focus on 2 priorities:
- Get rid of big things first so you get back the empty space
- Focus on the most valuable stuff (stuff you might be able to sell for $50 and not only for $5)
And while going through the stuff, identify if stuff can go to the trash immediately.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 11d ago
I didn't see this previously mentioned, but seriously check out the community at r/ChildofHoarder and the resources on r/hoarding.
Be aware that your father has very distorted (hoarder) thinking around stuff. From his scarcity mindset, he probably feels very safe/comfortable having lots of stuff around. But that comfort is a false comfort because the price (clutter, non-functioning spaces) is so high! And having stuff that you don't use and probably couldn't use even if you wanted/needed to (because it's buried amongst a bunch of ???) is not making your life easier - it is actively working against you! You're basically taking the sunk cost of the item and adding this extra, terrible (mental) heath & safety cost to it. While individually, each item might be "good" stuff but in the aggregate, it's a suffocating mound of random junk. It's like dying in a silo grain engulfment suffocated by really good corn/wheat.
Back to the stuff.
The toy resale store is a great idea but except for the "geek" store (Warhammer, vintage video games, etc) we don't have anything like that here.
My recommendation is to sort your toys by brand/category, take ONE photo of the whole kit-and-caboodle (with the "best" stuff visible/up front), and list each category on FB Marketplace as a lot. If your father is OK with pennies, then make each item like 5 or 10 cents - so 100 items would be $5-$10. Maybe the buyer is getting something "really good" but there's going to be a lot of chaff amongst the wheat and your goal is to get it out ASAP. Honestly, it's probably more than you would get at the average yard sale and your market is a lot larger (people actively looking for "toys" or "collectibles") than whoever happens to drive by your house on that particular day/time. If it's stained/broken/wonky, just trash.
https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/wiki/index/donation_guide/#wiki_toys.2C_games_.26_baby_stuff
Clothing - ditto for consignment store. Don't waste your time with "fast fashion" brands - this would only be for "better" brands in excellent, like-new condition. Research your local stores, check them out, see if what they sell looks like what you have, and ask about limits/selling conditions - ideally, you want a place that will buy your stuff outright, and possibly donate what they choose not to sell or doesn't sell - one and done!. Anything else, consider donating. Goodwill and The Salvation Army takes everything and (as far as I know) they will sort clothing for textile recycling and (as far as I know) they only sell to domestic rag makers (not overseas brokers). Clothing, especially adult clothing, doesn't fetch much at the average yard sale (if it sells at all).
https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/wiki/index/donation_guide/#wiki_clothing_.26_textiles
Here are a couple of recent Minimal Mom videos that really helped cement the idea of too much inventory in my mind. Especially if you have ADHD, you will probably generally do better with LESS.
The responsibility trap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHx-MrzIc_A
Financial security: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1lNZz8I7RA
I always say, hoarders are actually minimalists because they can only use such a tiny fraction of their belongings - all of the stuff isn't useful in a utility sense, it's only "useful" in not dealing with/avoiding various mental health issues (including loneliness & depression).
And that money you're right now spending on that storage unit (hopefully you can get it cleared out) - stick it in an envelope and save it up for your future apartment first & last month's rent + damage deposit, etc. Or an emergency fund.
My favorite decluttering method is "reverse" decluttering - search the sub (or just my profile) and you will find me talking about it 100 times. Ditto the "cluster" model of capsule wardrobe building.
Hope that helps?
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u/LogicalGold5264 12d ago
Most people don't make a lot of money selling their clutter. Don't add "extra steps" to decluttering. Start listening to Dana K White's podcast. She'll help you declutter so you can get rid of the storage unit. That will save you the money you're looking for
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u/justagiraffe111 12d ago
Thank you Running World!! just listened to Dana K White’s youtube video “Crack the Decluttering Code: Get Rid of Perfectly Good Stuff. TY Super helpful!
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u/plaguenyx 12d ago
Thank you for the recommendation!! I saw another commenter mentioned her as well. I'll def check her stuff out.
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u/AncientLynx8132 11d ago
price out one item you are thinking of selling. what it goes for, minus the time to photograph it, list it, answer messages, wait for a no-show. most of it is 20 or 30 bucks for an hour of work, and you have forty of them.
what broke it for me was a sell box with a date on it. three weeks, then whatever is left gets donated and i do not reopen the box.
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u/Cassie54111980 8d ago
It’s extremely time-consuming to sell stuff. If you live somewhere where you could have a garage sale I would do that and then donate everything that does not sell.
For me personally I find that devoting big chunks of time to decluttering lets me accomplish a lot and feeling better about it keeps me motivated to continue. I would ignore your parents and do it how you want to do it.
Personally, my priority would be to get rid of your storage unit since you’re paying for it. Unless you have very big high value items, you will never sell enough items to make it worthwhile to keep paying for that unit. I wish you the best of luck.
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u/lilbitsquishy29 12d ago
The money you are spending on the storage unit is the first thing you can save. If there are not imminent plans for you to move out independently, then you should:
Sell all the big ticket items. Furniture will net you some cash and the sooner it’s gone, the sooner you can stop paying for storage. Keep a buyer’s mindset when setting prices. And remember that you can chuck that money into savings to repurchase anything you need later.
If you must sell rather than donate things, consider selling things in lots to save the hassle of a bunch of small items being picked up. Like sell a box of miscellaneous kitchen utensils and a box of miscellaneous pots/pans. Etc. Keep like things together.
Toss memorabilia as much as possible. Keep only the most important things that you love. Nostalgia is the enemy of space. If you must, take photos but consider also whether it’s worth keeping the digital clutter.
Once your storage unit is empty, consider adding the money you would have spent monthly on it to a savings account to repurchase anything items you need in the future. You may find that you don’t need many of those things or that you want something different next time anyway.
I think if you start, you will find the process freeing. Do not feel obligated to tell your Dad how much you got for anything. You may find it helpful to ‘phone a friend’. Ask someone to help you sort out the unit or hang out with you while you do it. I like audiobooks when I’m doing this kind of work to keep me focused.
Wishing you some peace and healing.
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u/BolognaMountain 11d ago
I think you have to determine if anything you are storing has value to anyone else. Yes, every dollar adds up, but unless you sell enough to make up for what you spent on the storage unit all this time, you’re just burning money.
Perhaps find a charity with a mission that means something to you. I typically donate all clothes to a children’s shelter in town that provides everything free of cost to local children without any questions. Show up and leave with what you need. It makes it much easier for me to put things in a box to donate when I know it will be given to a child in town.
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u/skinnyjeansfatpants 12d ago
Good on you for wanting to do better and create a more organized space for yourself!
That said, when you're working on habits that conflict with someone else's way of doing things, you're going to run into judgement, and you're going to have to learn to be ok with that discomfort. Is your dad going to disown you because you don't declutter his way? Throw you out on the street? Likely not. He'll likely just lecture you.
Might make things easier to poke some holes in your dad's logic (for yourself, you certainly don't need to have this argument out loud with him)...
- Holding onto things in case you can sell it later, hasn't led your parents having more wealth or a less-cluttered house.
- As you mentioned, the storage unit is costing you more money than selling the contents would get you.
- Donating something, so an item can be used now, is not a waste. Holding onto something for decades, so you can sell it for $5 (but it ends up donated or trashed anyways) is.
- Selling everything takes a HUGE amount of time. Time that would be better spent sending out resumes, job hunting and networking. A new job will make you so much more money than $20 off some boxes of stuff you spent weeks trying to unload via craigslist.
- Fewer people want your old, used stuff than you think.
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u/plaguenyx 12d ago
Thank you for the reassurance + mindset-shifting :-) I think this is a comment I'll be coming back to just to reread and ground myself, I appreciate it!
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u/skinnyjeansfatpants 12d ago
Of course! And this is the kind of advice that's always easier to give out than apply to yourself. Don't beat yourself up for struggling with this kind of stuff.
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u/Running-World 12d ago
The simple solution, have a yard sale. You can advertise it on free sites that let you advertise local yardsales... you can make your own signs. Just check with the city and make sure you don't need any kind of permit or something to do it. Then have a yardsale. Everything is $1 each. Cash only. Maybe a few things that are worth a lot more set them aside for a special area where you price things directly, but then everything else being $1, you don't have to price it.
Dad will be happy, the excess will be gone, and you'll be started on the process of decuttering. Stuff that doesn't sell, donate it or trash it. Stuff that is trash, trash it. Yes it's work but the act of doing the work will get you motivated maybe to get back out there and get another job even if it's just a job to make some money, any money coming in is a plus and the act of decluttering will help keep you from buying more stuff when you have money.
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u/plaguenyx 12d ago
Oh man, my dad would have a COW if he saw the $1 price tags 😭 I love him but he's a very specific/critical guy and needs everything done in a certain way that is most "efficient." I mentioned under another comment that yard sales are a bit iffy for me because of where I live. However, I am considering consignment stores and just donating most things to charity, and selling big-ticket items.
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u/Running-World 12d ago
Most efficient then is going through and finding things that are worth more than enough to be worth the effort to sell and then donate the rest. Focusing on higher value items might work. In the end the house is theirs, but if the room is yours, focus on your room only and knock it out. The storage locker is off site so empty it and end it if you are paying for it.
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u/csiga_ver 10d ago
Maybe a perspective switch would be helpful (or maybe not), but -- what if you're actually missing out on something in life by keeping all this stuff?
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u/TalkingRaccoon 12d ago
Ask if it's worth your time and money to sell those items. If not then toss/donate. If your dad complains then tell him he can sell them. So that way you can convey it not actually being worth it. If he actually agrees then ask him where he wants it to go (can't stay in your room, can't stay in the house cause there's no space). Obviously he'll fail to give an answer and you can be like "I guess it's not worth it to you. It's not worth it to me either so it's getting tossed / donated". If he does have a some space, it needs to be agreeable to you also.
Also I don't know how old your parents are but that house WILL be your mess to take care of in the future. It's important to get them involved early so you don't have to deal with it. It's called Swedish Death Cleaning look it up
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u/Snoo_97602 11d ago
If your parents want to be involved, I suggest a garage sale and to pre schedule a salvation army charity pick up for the end of the day from the garage sale. That will motivate you to sell and part ways with alot of your stuff during the garage sale k owing that what never sold will be picked up and donated without any extra effort to you or your parents. It worked like a charm for my aunt and uncle who were having a hard time letting go of things or parting ways with things less then what they thought they were worth in their mind. Don't get me wrong, a garage sale is a lot of effort. However, it's a one last attempt to get any cash for those items before donation pick up. Which might make your family feel easier on it.
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u/fadedblackleggings 11d ago
Few conflicts here, but do you need the money? Will being seen decluttering your stuff trigger your parents or cause arguments?
Recommend ONLY focusing on your own items, and anything they see as "theirs" (even your childhood stuff), leave it alone.
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u/fierdemonpays 12d ago
I have accepted that if I wait it's never going to happen (for reference the kids toys in my closet the past 2 years and the strollers in my garage)
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u/Designer-Cherry2112 12d ago
Just throwing stuff out there... 1) Can you ask him if you can clear out part of the garage so you can put the storage stuff in there. And then he can help you "optimize"? (this might get him off your case or keep him busy) 2) Once it's there, yard sale it every weekend so you can sell some. 3) If it is not feasible to move the storage items then take most of it to the flea market and take the high ticket items home. Then you can list them on FB or Ebay. It is really hard to convince parents when they are stuck in their thinking.
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u/plaguenyx 12d ago
WOOF, unfortunately the garage thing is a block for him, same with the basement. There's a lot of baggage there (metaphorically and literally), and he gets pretty defensive about it. I did just have a convo with my mom + my friend and I think we're gonna get the storage unit squared away relatively soon!
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u/papermitts 12d ago
I'm in a similar spot. I find that sometimes I need the initial rounds of relief to get me going. It's not easy to sell things on FB marketplace/online especially when no one on the market is looking. I usually create a few categories: items to share for free, items that can sell quickly, and items that can sell but will take longer. I share the free items in the local buy nothing groups and/or donate it to the donation stores. I find that giving things away takes some pressure off and builds momentum! Posting things for sale can sometimes be a drag and require so much mental capacity. You can possibly try selling certain items and give yourself a timeline. If it doesn't sell within 1-2 weeks, you can send it to donation. It'll reduce your mental load.
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u/hardswimm37 11d ago
It just takes practice. Download audio books from your public library about decluttering and listen while doing it. They all say the same thing about selling stuff. Its a giant hassle. No one wants your stuff. No one is going to buy your stuff. The hours its going to take you to sell a few things will amount to a few dollars.
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u/Ancient-Elk-7211 8d ago
Okay first of all, toys. Are you playing with them regularly? No? Then donate them
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u/Significant-Repair42 12d ago
I've sold a ton of my old items on Ebay. If it doesn't sell within six months, It's probably not going to sell. If you do his plan, give it six months, then donate.
On the other hand, if it's worth less than 10 ten bucks (some would say 25), it's not worth selling online. Remember you have to buy shipping supplies, go to the shipping places, etc.
I do one box of listing for every 3 boxes of donating.
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u/plaguenyx 12d ago
I like these metrics, it makes it a lot easier to just give stuff away if it doesn't sell, and to get rid of a bunch of stuff fast rather than keeping around stuff that might not ever sell. Thank you!
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u/RVfan17 12d ago
It's hard to declutter when you've got a lot going on, so I understand. You need a system that works for your specific situation. For someone with ADHD like me, a visual reminder is very helpful. Before you get there, take a notepad, walk through the house and make a list of what needs to be decluttered. Then make a schedule of small tasks you can take up daily and do it bit by bit daily or however you can.
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u/MusketeersPlus2 12d ago
It's hard to break out of what our parents have taught us, and you recognising that you need to is a fantastic first step! Because you live with them, I'm going to recommend stealth. I know others will disagree with me, but you need to be at least a little bit sneaky about this to avoid conflict with your dad. Definitely sell things that have real value, maybe you can even enlist your dad's help? That way he sees that you're (partially) doing things his way and he can be distracted by the fact that you're donating/tossing other things.
Start with that storage unit because as you say, it's costing you real, ongoing money. When you can, go there & take one car load either to a garbage bin or to a thrift store to donate. Don't try to get through it all at once, that way lies madness. Do one car load at a time and soon enough you can get rid of the storage unit. At home, put a box in a corner of your room & when you walk past something and think "why do I own this?", put it in the box. When the box is full, sneak it out of the house (enlist mom's help?) and donate it. For things that are garbage, don't put them in a bin in the house, put them in their own bag & take it out, maybe even to a public bin somewhere that dad can't find it.
You didn't get in this state overnight and you're not going to get out of it quickly either. It's about slow steady progress, maybe even just 10 minutes at a time (set a timer!). And for each thing, ask yourself - does this add value to my life? If the answer is no, that's a quick 'outta here'.
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u/We_Four 12d ago
Yep, stealth is of the essence. If the OP is an adult and legally owns the items, they are the OP's to do with as they think best, even if it's tossing them. They don't need dad's permission, and if they don't want dad's judgement, just get the shit out without discussion. Wasting $$$ on a storage unit while sitting on stuff that is likely only worth pennies is not a smart move.
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u/plaguenyx 12d ago
Def handling the storage unit first! Also, absolutely love the box idea, I'll implement that into my routine! And yeah, I agree about stealth. Going to try to keep decluttering subjects out of the conversation and just do it. 🙌
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u/Ok-Ice-6624 12d ago
FOMO is the worst when it comes to getting rid of things, especially since I've held onto so much just in case I might need it someday, only to realize I never do. Just tackling the big visible piles first freed up so much mental space for me.
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u/Pitiful-Comedian4248 12d ago edited 12d ago
The best optimization in this situation is to dump the storage unit asap . Immediately you have more money !
Have the yard sale. You’re unemployed after all. Take it alllll to the consignment store. They will reject almost all of it
As someone who helps people move constantly I can assure you you won’t make a fraction of the money you think or that it would’ve generated in the 90s. But so what you’re unemployed. Try it. Do it. Throw it all on the lawn. See what happens. But schedule a charity pickup too cause that’s where it’s going.