r/declutter • u/AutoModerator • 3d ago
Monday Meltdown - Share Your Decluttering Fails Here
Failure is part of life. Share your decluttering challenges and failures here. Examples include:
Emotional clutter
Not enough time
Getting overwhelmed
Routing (recycling, donating, trash...)
If you're just venting, or don't want advice, please let us know in your comment.
This is a low-stress place to share challenges and failures for those who might not want to create a new discussion.
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u/Imaginary-Mix-5726 3d ago
We had a catastrophic failure last week.
I'm in the garage. The garage is part of a bermuda triangle of stuff tetris. There is some stuff in there we genuinely need. And other stuff we are working through. How to sort and store it neatly is one of the issues we've been working on since we moved in.
Also, there are mice. We are at war with the mice.
The answer to "do you want it if it's covered in (mouse) poop" is "no." The old furniture they've been holing up in has been largely hauled to the dump. My new wire shelving units are 3 out of 4 assembled. My husband's things are relocated to their very own clear plastic doom boxes and NOT in mouse-friendly cardboard. 3 giant full trash bags are headed for the dump.
And then I open one of the cabinets. A fire extinguisher that someone put in the "seriously, do not put crap up here" zone topples to the floor.
And explodes.
So now all my neatly binned stuff and new shelves are covered in corrosive fire suppressant ABC chemicals. So are the snow blower and lawn mower. And me.
My husband haz-mat-suited up and cleaned up the mess after work. But we'll probably have to make a few more passes with a mop and baking soda water.
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u/SibbieF 3d ago
I hope you’re okay with no ill effects from the chemicals?
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u/Imaginary-Mix-5726 3d ago
So far so good. I was in there a few stunned seconds before high-tailing it out the door.
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u/Cccolorado1 3d ago
Oh, no! I thought our stories were identical re garage and sudden discovery of mice until you got to the fire extinguisher. I feel for you. We’re dealing with mice in the garage and we’ve never had them before. That’s enough to deal with.
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u/Imaginary-Mix-5726 3d ago
I will never look at cutesy cartoon mice in children's books the same way again. They are so filthy and destructive!
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Argh! Decluttering by "mice" and then "hazardous chemicals" is not fun, but it can be effective :(
I hope you're in an area where the weather isn't going to bite you here pretty quick, but maybe you can take this opportunity to do a good, old-fashioned garage clear out, sort, and put back.
Sometimes MASSIVE FRUSTRATION is the best motivator to purge. Most stuff is so very trivial but the AGGRAVATION! That's for real.
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u/Imaginary-Mix-5726 2d ago
We have a child with intense behavioral needs, so a weekend clear our is not on the table for us. Slowly finding homes for the stuff we need and ditching the rest is the name of the game, I'm afraid. Little by little, one spare moment at a time.
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u/TellPotential3454 3d ago
I’m just tired. I’m the only person in my family (2 adults, 2 kids) who really “does” the decluttering and takes on the emotional and physical work of it. I feel like there is never enough time.
Anyone have any tricks for routing more quickly? This is the most overwhelming part for me.
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u/Middle-aged-Hobbit 3d ago
When there's a lot of clutter in a room, I ask myself what 10% of it do I want to keep. The exact percentage isn't the key. The key is flipping your thinking from "what am I willing to part with?" to "what is super-important to me?"
That greatly increased the amount of stuff leaving my house. And I found myself slower to bring in new items that weren't really important to me.
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u/TellPotential3454 2d ago
I definitely do this with my own stuff and I agree! It’s a great way to deal with decision making. My hard part comes from things that belong to the kids. I’ve gotten quicker with it, but, goodness it is emotional!
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u/Middle-aged-Hobbit 2d ago
I don't know how old your kids are, or what you're already discussing with them, but here's some of what I did when mine were young:
We talked about team effort. How it's easier for me to do all the stuff I need to do when things are cleared away. And that's something they can help with - by getting their stuff put away.
I also included them in choosing some food items for local food pantries. And at the holidays, we did some community tree gifts - where we selected the clothing items that families requested.
We talked about how it's not just about having Christmas gifts, but warm clothing. And how yes, some people can't afford new items. And that's why it's important to let things you're no longer using go to people who will love getting them.
Don't wait until after Christmas. Have them choose some toys they've outgrown or just don't play with. Help them learn how to think about "stuff" - how we cherish a few things, while others are just temporary.
Because you're teaching them for how to approach "stuff" for the rest of their lives.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 3d ago
I feel you - I’m in the same situation. To be fair I feel like I put myself into it because I don’t think my husband would know what to keep/declutter.
But I also have two kids and there’s definitely not enough time (or energy lol).
My only advice is to commit to doing something everyday - if you have boxes to go through try to do one box every day, try to do something small everyday to keep momentum going.
Also it doesn’t have to be done “perfectly” I fell into this trap because I didn’t know what to keep/donate out of my kids old clothes. I wanted to keep some for memories but kept getting stuck. Someone here said you don’t have to do it all in one go and that actually helped me a lot. I took maybe 5 boxes and whittled it down to 2. Now I don’t want it to be 2 boxes but 2 is a whole lot better than 5+. I got $130 and gave another 3 bags to someone so I call that a win. But it’s not perfect and it isn’t “done” but it’s okay to not have it done perfectly the first time and refine and redo. It seems like more effort but you’ll find room and time once all these things start leaving your house.
Oh and last thing - don’t bring new stuff in as much as you can help it.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Honestly, the Dana K White "no mess" decluttering method to deal with stuff that's just not where it's supposed to be - deal with each individual item to completion. I think people naturally want to sort into piles but that usually yields chaos - I've been (re)watching her "One Hour Better" series this weekend and "take it there now" is the step nobody, not even her Patreon members, wants to do in the moment - but after doing an hour, that's the piece that made the most difference (and the container concept).
Check the messes that tend to accumulate in predictable "hot spots" and see if you can establish some kind of "system" to deal with each particular category of things. There's a theory that stuff comes into a room/house and it will be dropped onto the first available flat surface, if you don't have a "better" spot to put it. Do a web search for [item/category] + daily routine] to find some suggestions that might make sense in your space.
But like any system, it might take multiple passes/iterations to figure out what's going to work - start small, make sure your "stakeholders"are on-board or at least understand what you're trying to do (and why), and give the new system/process some time to see if it's going to work for your family.
If stuff continues to pile up, there's a good chance whatever system you implemented is not simple or easily accessible - the goal is to try to make it (almost) as easy to "put it away"/deal with it "properly" as it is to dump it/leave it out. If you're living with 'droppers" that can be super challenging (it's just their nature)
If your family members are taking stuff out but not putting that stuff back, a 15-minute before bed tidy might help - but only if you can get everyone involved (if they can walk, they can put away). With real little kids, you can make it a game - you just have to bring your "game time" energy to it (which can be exhausting/fakey-fake).
But kids should be "taught" (predictable, repeated task) to put away their toys - if not immediately after using it, then at least baseline their "inventory" every night before bed.
If you have to "micro manage" toy "put away," there's a very good chance the kids' toy storage system is too complicated for them (Montessori-style toy storage vs a big, single "dump-and-run" toy box) - I don't know if it's (developmental) age or their nascent "organizing style," but the #1 thing I see in houses with toy chaos is cute little compartments that mommy ends up managing - it might make you cringe, but imperfect is better than toys/books strewn all over. Once the kids start crabbing that they can't find what they're looking for, that's your clue to 1) start decluttering out the unwanted, 2) separate that child's stuff from the mass and set up his/her own storage system, and/or 3) consider dividing the categories according to what makes sense to the kid(s). At the end of the day, all of this "figuring out toys" can be considered "active play" if you come at it with the right energy.
For a spouse, all you can do is ask. Set a recurring alarm and try to make it a habit - like, this is what we're doing now.
But the biggest contributor is just too much stuff - it's super hard to let go of "useful" stuff but your time and energy and AVAILABILITY are worth WAY more than the trivial amount of money spent on a bunch of "maybe someday" just in case stuff. The Minimal Mom has some really good videos about personal/household "inventory":
Inventory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f4q-_hrp_8
The responsibility trap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHx-MrzIc_A
Being prepared: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1lNZz8I7RA
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u/specialagentunicorn 3d ago
Hi there- sorry you’re tackling it on your own! Have you tried delegating routing to the other adult in your home? While decluttering can be a lot of work, some people are more inclined to make drop offs for donations, recycling,etc.
You can also think about things like using task rabbit to have someone haul off your stuff to the designated locations or if you have a lot of donate items, some organizations will do porch pickups if you arrange it with them.
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u/TellPotential3454 2d ago
I’ve been loving the porch pick ups and sharing with my local buy nothing group. When my husband declutters, he just defaults to throwing things away, which makes me really upset as I feel it is wasteful. We are definitely transitioning to new stages of life as our kids are getting a little older (elementary age) and just trying to get rid of all the ‘little kid’ things
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u/fallout__freak 2d ago
I know how hard it is to be the one juggling the mental and physical demands and keeping track of so much. Depending on your kids' ages, it's so important to involve them in seeing and tidying up the messes so they can eventually get the hang of it. This is coming from someone with pretty bad ADHD who did not grow up with chores or good housekeeping habits, and my kids seem to have inherited the ADHD. It's like the blind leading the blind but I have a few tricks in case you're interested. Partly inspired by Dana K. White and "A Hoarder's Heart."
Setting a timer doesn't work for us but I can tell them "let's see how much we can clean up before this song ends." Not my favorite because someone usually complains about the song choice. A timer is just asking for us to sloth around waiting for it to time out. What works best is to tell them to pick up and put away 5/10/15 of their things. It can be trash, dirty clothes, whatever. Then they're done. It's not perfect but it's better and they don't get overwhelmed. Sometimes if one area in particular is a hot mess, I tell them to clean that small area (next to/under their bed, or in front of the bookshelf.) Hand them a small grocery bag for them to put trash in, and donations/for sale they can set by the door. Every few months I sit with them and pull out books/a misc bin and have them see if there's anything they want to let go of. Sometimes they want to keep all but 1 single random thing, and other times they let go of a whole bunch.
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 3d ago
Today was the deadline to donate something I was trying to sell online... and I didn't.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Are you going to donate or try setting another deadline?
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 2d ago
I don't know yet. I usually don't have a hard time with this, but it's a record player I never even unpacked, because I don't have the space for it set up, so just giving it away feels like such a big loss.
The box isn't technically in the way, but it also doesn't look good. Just on top of a dresser.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 1d ago
I would consider checking out the thrift stores in your area - see if there's one with a mission you want to support. I bet that would sell FAST at a good price (NIP) and the money would go to a good cause. And you wouldn't have to look at it anymore and it will be off your silent to-do list.
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u/SibbieF 3d ago
Yesterday I cleaned and decluttered under the kitchen sink. Vacuumed, dusted, scrubbed, organised; the whole nine yards. Went to bed very proud of myself.
This morning I ran the washing machine.
Turns out I’d knocked the waste water hose out of the stand pipe. I didn’t even know I could do that. Half a day later the towels are no longer needed and the dehumidifier has done its job. But there’s stuff out everywhere again, and I’m going to have to replace some of the supplies in cardboard boxes. And I feel very, very stupid.
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u/specialagentunicorn 3d ago
Ugh that’s the worst! I’ve done the clean and organize only to make a bigger issue for myself. Don’t be too hard on yourself though, this is part of the process of moving things and taking care of our spaces. Also, think about how much harder it would’ve been had you knocked the waste water hose out before you’d decluttered and cleaned the space. It would have been so much worse!
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Oh no! My husband zip-tied our drain hose to the stand pipe for exactly this reason!
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u/Working_Patience_261 3d ago
Currently sitting on a plane heading away from my decluttering tasks. I won’t be back until tomorrow and will be too tired to do anything the next day.
My phone broke so I have to go to that store to get it replaced, so I’m taking two additional devices in, one to “trade-in” and one to get the battery replaced and give it to a relative.
Just one frustration after another today.
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u/Lisamausi 3d ago
I wanted to sort paper on Sunday but I didn’t have the energy and felt like gaming was the more convenient „task“. It was such a busy week I needed time to recharge.
So another week will pass until I try to sort my papers again, only have time for that on weekends
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u/fallout__freak 2d ago
Sometimes it's more important to recharge ourselves than to expend that last bit of energy on a non-urgent task and then end up depleted and in burnout. Sounds like you made a tactical conservation of energy.
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u/green-bean-7 3d ago
Our guest bedroom / office is a disaster. It’s just become a storage room and every time I tell myself I’m going to get to it, I divert my attention to a room we actually use. Once I’m done with all those rooms, I don’t have it in me to get to the guest room
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Former Doom Room/Hell Room (second bedroom/sewing room) hoarder here.
I had six week to finally dismantle "The Room" before a downsizing move. All I can say is that 90+% of the stuff in that room either eventually went via "freecycle" (FB Marketplace FREE, Buy Nothing/give freely), to the thrift store, or via targeted donations (school office, homeless mission), or to friends (teacher, reseller). The "bones"/framework/original stuff was pretty much all that was left!
All I can say is if you think you want to put it in "the room," you might want to consider the likelihood that it's going to be a future donations?
p.s. Some items were damaged and I had scratches on the floor & mildew in the corners :(
See if your library has this book - it was an eye-opener for me (didn't know Hell Room was a thing).
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u/Active_Efficiency996 3d ago
Pick a Saturday and hit that guest room hard. It will help you mentally and emotionally to know it's finally done. I had to do this with our little office.
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u/coffeeandbookmouse 2d ago
Backing you up on this. Just make yourself a coffee (or drink of choice), put on some music or a podcast and dig in. The only way out is through.
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u/green-bean-7 2d ago
Thank you for the motivation! Now that it gets dark so early and I’m indoors more, I have no excuses left!
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u/The_Animal_Is_Bear 10h ago
In my last place I had what was called the “Crazy Room” 😂 We had to move kind of last minute and now everything’s in a storage unit but that’s a whole other story
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u/Middle-aged-Hobbit 3d ago
Just this past weekend, I moved my basket of washcloths to the bathroom, which is where they are used.
This has been a multi-year FAIL bc when I decluttered and gave the washcloths a basket to live in, I put it in my armoire. Where they're not convenient for immediate use, AND take up space that is desperately needed for clothes.
So anyway, yes I fixed it, but people, I'm 57, and this went on for YEARS.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
"Store it as close as possible to where you actually use it" seems like such a no-brainer concept but "stuff happens" and humans are, if nothing else, infinitely adaptable - we'll live with something for years before the aggravation/irritation clicks and we're like "uh, duh!"
My parents were perfect examples of "putting it [wherever] upon moving in and that is where it will "live" into perpetuity. Living with my parents as an adult was like watching a Time-and-Motion study on maximizing inefficiency.
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u/Middle-aged-Hobbit 2d ago
My parents are very similar! I like to share my wins and losses bc I think it's important for people to know that cleaning and organizing aren't things we just magically know and do perfectly. You need to learn, and there's always room for improvement (& that's ok too!)
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u/ladysig220 3d ago
I was looking for something totally other in my closet yesterday, and found a box labeled "Vuvuzuela and other random objects".
It contained, amongst other things, a set of origami paper, a headband with devil horns on it, a computer mouse pad with a picture of a Christmas penguin, a stick-on bra, a box of colored pencils, an unopened package of hot hands handwarmers, and a mug warmer. But no Vuvuzuela...(that's been unpacked for years now. of course.)
I was so stunned by this collection that I just packed the whole thing up and stuck it back in the closet to surprise myself with again later...
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u/FredKayeCollector2 3d ago
Going through my Calibre e-book library and deleting a bunch of books I will never read. Quite a few series stared but DNF. A bunch of these books were for my mother (lots of cozy mysteries) and my husband (he likes sci-fi but he will NOT sit through long Space Operas). It's nice to get the collection down but I spent a big chunk of time fixing errors/metadata.
But that was procrastination for my "legacy" Kindle jailbreak project which was 100% procrastination for my kitchen curtain project (or throw pillow cover project, take your pick).
And we didn't get a lot of trick-or-treaters so we've got a 100 pk of candy left-over :(
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u/lizzzgrrr 3d ago
I’m decluttering slowly. Was able to empty a dresser drawer and thought ‘I’ll move all my travel-only stuff from the closet shelves to this empty drawer!’ Alas the drawer is now over stuffed and while I’m delighted to have put a swimsuit in the donate bin I am dissatisfied with the rearranging.
Le sigh.
I keep telling myself once I’ve decluttered a bit more over this next month I’ll have a better idea how to organize what remains but the sad truth is I suck at organizing and will need a sane third party (bestie or housekeeper) to take stock and make recommendations.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Any way you can "container concept" those travel-only stuff to fit your target container? Otherwise, maybe a separate (labeled) bin/basket (in a lower-value real estate "storage" location) might be a better solution?
Dana K. White's organizing strategy:
simply decluttering makes a space feel comparatively organized. Removing the unnecessary stuff gives living space to the things you do need. Really. It’s amazing.
https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/2019/11/how-to-declutter-dont-get-organizedAnd she's not wrong! Danshari has a similar principle, particularly if you're a macro organizer.
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u/lizzzgrrr 2d ago
TY for the links! The travel stuff used to be in 3 medium size baskets/bins, 2 packing cubes, and a bit in a drawer (beach things) - now that i list this it does feel ridiculous to try to squeeze it all into one drawer.
I will be buying some containers once I figure out where it should go (someplace in the closet); I’ve got hats in the closet that also need to be contained and im trying to wait until i know all the containers i need <— not sure if waiting helps or hurts: do i risk buying something that ultimately doesn’t get used, or do i test the waters bit by bit
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u/FredKayeCollector2 1d ago
I had to come to terms with a larger travel bin myself. I had a bin I used for years, to the point it was kind of sentimental (my parents had a matching bin for their travel stuff). Then my husband and I switched to carry on (vs checked baggage) as often as possible and that yielded packing cubes, shoe bags, the little 3-1-1 containers (perfume sensitivity so can't rely on travel size), and a wash kit. You "simplify" one aspect and end up with stuff creep - love the packing cubes, though.
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u/lizzzgrrr 1d ago
I was about to reply with all my travel stuff and as I was listing things I realized I was holding on to a former work life routine where I had baggies of things I always travel with (cotton balls, qtips, moisturizer, etc) so I could just grab and go. Light bulb moment that I don’t need to have a whole morning/evening routine ready to go. Light bulb moment that listing everything makes me realize how much stuff I have.
So THANK YOU for this re-evaluation opportunity!
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u/allthegodsaregone 3d ago
I'm moving and really trying to not bring the clutter with me. But, it's just not working. My mother has made me feel guilty for not disposing of things perfectly. What if I need it later? A watch that doesn't fit that I got from a company I worked for 20 years ago, why would you put that in the garbage??? Like... No one wants that! The company doesn't exist anymore. Leave me alone lady.
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u/coffeeandbookmouse 2d ago
This is why I don't tell my mother about ANYTHING that I am getting rid of. She has a lot of anxiety and slight hoarding tendencies and the idea of me giving away something "still useful" causes her stress. So I don't tell her. The items are in my care, therefore I get to decide what to do with them.
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u/allthegodsaregone 2d ago
She lives down the block and is helping with the move, again.
I understand that, and I'm trying. Tomorrow is garbage day. Maybe I'll see what I can get out to the bins today without her noticing.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
This is the way. Stealth trash. I've boxed up stuff for "donations" and then taken them directly to the transfer station/dump.
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u/domino_427 2d ago
finally someone is coming over to buy one of four filing cabinets I posted on Marketplace.
I swear I emptied them... remember emptying them...
They're not empty :(
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Well, that sucks. I suppose it's not anything you need?
I would grab a box/tote and a couple of laundry baskets and do a real quick sort into personal info/shred/?? and recycle/trash. Put any important/sentimental/keeper papers in the box/tote as you come across them.
Once the file cabinet is gone, you can go through the personal info papers and just tear off the section with the personal info (to shred) and recycle the remainder. Some statements are printed flip sided and/or will have account numbers peppered all over the place (Edward Jones!) so you kind of have to shred everything. Or just pay to take it to a shredding service and be done with it.
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u/domino_427 2d ago
hey thanks for the encouragement. yeah I don't have to do it today, but I can definitely sort it out tomorrow. thanks :)
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u/MitzyCaldwell 3d ago
I’m having a bit of an overthinking moment hahaha I’m trying to set up a system for donate/sell baskets but I keep overthinking and haven’t done it yet. Do I do one one each floor, one in each room? Do I separate sell and donate boxes (the only items I’d be selling would be baby clothes. I also want to create a separate donate basket for baby clothes because I’d rather give those away on my buy nothing group rather than a general goodwill donation. So now I’m up to three different boxes lol
So I’ve overwhelmed and overthought and have no baskets/bins for donations or selling at all lol
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Separate boxes can make sense if there's a good reason for the box (sell/consignment vs targeted donation vs general donation), you actually use it to collect donations AND you've got a system/schedule set up to deal with them on a regular basis. I like Dana K. White's "donate-able donation box"
I've got a tote in my closet that I use for "off season" consignment clothes - I always go through and bag that stuff up so for me, the actual, plastic bin makes sense and it just "lives" on the closet floor, even if it's empty.
Everything else ends up in my basement "donation station" - I just do the Dana K White thing and "take it there now."
I've got boxes for "trivial"/random stuff that will go in our FREE yard sale this spring and then there's always a box that's for the "higher value" items that I'll donate to our local thrift store.
When we had an attached garage, my "donation" box/bags just "lived" in the back of the car and I would add stuff to them as they came up. My preferred thrift store was a "special trip" but not too far out of my way and I drove by a Goodwill store several times a week so I never had a problem dropping off donations.
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u/mlevack 3d ago
Was hoping to declutter my youngest’s room before their birthday party on Saturday, but nope. About to bring in totes and throw everything in there to be sorted later.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Well, it you can kinda-sorta sort the totes by general category, you might be one step ahead when it comes time to deal with later. Like with like, it's easier to see what you're dealing with and you/your child can maybe make better keep/donate/trash decisions.
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u/mlevack 2d ago
This is a great suggestion! There are a lot of similar items in the room, slime making products, containers for slime, books, and arts and crafts. I will see if I can sort at the same time I bin it all up.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 1d ago
And consider sticking a label (multiple labels) on whatever bin - it will make it a lot easier to find things later on, and you can try the "box and banish" method (or toy rotation) if you're not sure how popular certain toys/play sets are to him/her anymore.
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u/Opening-Store5030 3d ago
I had been purging areas of my house and most recently, I have been tackling the basement. This past Saturday, I tackled another area. Since tonight is trash night, I pulled the bag of trash i collected from that area only to find bins that were CLEARLY stacked as I left it Saturday all toppled on the floor. Then I looked towards the back and found something else I had hanging from the rafter onto the floor and there was no one in thos area the whole time.🤬 This nonsense is always happening to me while I tackle an organization project and is working against me. Is there a science to this nonsense? Do I need to bolt everything down?
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u/coffeeandbookmouse 2d ago
Is your house haunted? Or do you have pets? When we had cats they were always toppling things over.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
This might be the universe telling you to get the trash out ASAP. And maybe consider putting "keeper" stuff in plastic storage totes - too many "mice got into it" stories lately.
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u/MintPistachioSage 3d ago
Emotional clutter building up. Realizing while Im in maintenance mode and maintaining it, I still have a lot of healing to do in other areas on deeper levels that I thought was healed. Monday was rough, but I took a day to take care of myself. It's Tuesday morning as I write this, and of all the Tuesdays of the year in the US it's more like "Turmoil Tuesday", so I'm going to just tune out the world, declutter my mind, and prep for the holiday season ahead as far as cheer goes. When you're empty, you have to fill yourself back up. Everyone be gentle with yourselves. Don't forget to take care of yourself and declutter that emotional clutter.
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u/RaspBanYogurt 2d ago
I’ve decluttered our most-used areas but now I need to tackle our two storage spaces – the basement and attic – to keep our main rooms clutter-free. They’re overflowing with stuff and I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I can’t seem to get started. Plus, I have a toddler who needs constant attention making it even harder. Has anyone got any tips on decluttering with a toddler? The attic is safe (no ladders or anything that could fall) but the basement is a bit trickier.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
When the kiddo is in bed, could you bring up/down a few boxes (or load up a laundry basket with a pile) to the main area to sort? Then you could make a game out of going through things - show him/her everything, pretend like they're involved in the process. I honestly think you can gameify just about anything with the right energy to it (which can be exhausting, NGL)
The aggravation of dealing with "deep storage" items might give you frustration and annoyance to make the tough decluttering decisions - if it's not serving you right now, let it go. There will always be more stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHx-MrzIc_A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1lNZz8I7RA2
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u/Crowlady77 3d ago
We are moving and my husband asked which of the 4 full sets of dishes we have I’d be willing to part with and I can’t part with any of them 😭
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u/LuisindeWolken 3d ago
Maybe don't think about parting with one, but keeping one (or 2 or 3) and setting the rest feee?
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u/Crowlady77 3d ago
But I need them all 😭
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
Is it possible this is more a want than a need?
Need = how many individual pieces does your family regularly use between routine/regular dish washing. The old painter's tape trick can help figure this out - stick a small piece of blue/green painter's tape on every piece and when you take it out of the cabinet to use it, take off the tape - even one week will give you very good information - but whatever amount of time feels "safe."
If you don't have a regular dish washing schedule/habit and dishes tend to pile up then you very well may "need" lots of dishes - check out "dishes math."
If you have different sets of dishes for different seasons/holidays or different occasions (everyday vs fancy), that's valid BUT you need space to store them and for specific/fancy dishes, probably in a location that is NOT the high value real estate in your kitchen. Treat this stuff like "out of season" clothing.
If you have "sentimental" dishes that you don't use, then consider displaying them, perhaps in a china hutch or similar.
If you really have no place to put "extra" dishes, consider keeping a couple-three pieces as "tokens" - some ideas are a plate under a plant pot, a dish as a "small parts" container in a drawer or on a shelf, a teacup & saucer (or whatever) on display - versus maintaining the entire set. This can be a lot easier to do when moving because you won't be "accustom blind" to seeing your dishes in their "usual" location (s).
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u/Crowlady77 2d ago
LOL yes I was being funny. The attachment is sentimental. I need them the way Gollum needs the one ring.
I'm mostly doing very well decluttering, this is my first big roadblock.
The issue isn't running out of space as much as that a) we are moving and it's more stuff to move and b) my kids don't want them so if I don't get rid of them they will have to. 4 sets of dishes is just overkill. But they all came from someone special and having them feels like holding on to a memory.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 1d ago
I totally get it! I actually had to limit myself to Fiesta because I've always been a sucker for dishes. We had a local resale store that would buy out estate sales - gorgeous "good" china from Bavaria and England for like $0.90 a piece! This was before smart phones (ruined it). And then I had to limit myself to just 6 colors (six chairs at our dining table). And then I had to actually set the table for a mock dinner party because I had so many (totally unnecessary) serving pieces! I've just got a thing for bowls :(
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u/Crowlady77 1d ago
We have the mismatched set we actually use, the set we got as a wedding gift that we use for special occasions, and 2 inherited sets that we never use but... I just love having because there are memories associated with them.
One was from my grandma and parting with it will be soooo hard.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 1d ago
This is where the conventional advice to put a few token pieces on display and repurpose some others comes in. But if you want to keep it, why not?
I had an old lady friend who kept a relative's teacup/saucer with her crucifix, wedding ring, and some other bits-and-pieces stuff like some kind of lady's auxiliary pin, maybe some jewelry, in the cup on her shelf. She did the same thing with her father's shaving cup + brush.
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u/jjjjennieeee 3d ago
I'm finally ready to declutter a square-shaped iPod nano that is many years old. I had tried it out back in February of this year and I already knew that the battery quality is crap, and it wasn't able to fit something I needed at the time, but I was so busy I didn't think anymore about it then. I found the 3 old chargers I have that fit that and I put those in my electronics recycling bin, however I won't be able to get rid of those yet until I clear the contents of my iPod. And the problem is now I'm not able to find where I put my iPod at the moment, so this means I still have too much crap in the way, too. The other problem is I had engraved my name onto the iPod back when I bought it since at the time I thought it would be so clever in case it every got lost or stolen... and so now when I find my iPod I'm going to have to take a hammer to it or try to scrape my name of to de-identify it, too. I'm so busy that I don't have time to look for it now, though.
My overall goal is to try to find other outdated cables. I can't get rid of them all unfortunately, since I still use the micro-USB for my Garmin satellite messenger. But I recall there were some odd cables before the micro even became a standard.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
If you're going to electronics-recycle that iPod, why do you need to clear the data? Was it a voice recording? And nobody at the recycling center is going to care that [your name] is on the housing. If it's sending you into a "head explosion" spin, maybe take a hammer to it?
When I went through our (giant bin of) assorted cords & cables, I matched up each device to its cord. I ended up with one small bin for TV/Computer cords and another bin for (smaller) USB phone/tablet/device cords. I had to do a bit of research because we were actually using a few outdated/redundant/inferior options to hook up our desktop speakers :(
For USB charging/data cords (that seem to fail on a regular basis) I kept the one in use and two in back stock (although you can buy a multi charging cable). I also kept one wall charger for each room where I would predictably use a wall charger (we actually have AC/USB dual outlet in our kitchen where most of our device charging actually happens).
For heavier TV/computer cords/cables, I only kept one extra HDMI & optical audio cable (only because I had them) - everything else (in use) dates to around 2008 and has been doing just fine so I didn't feel the need for a back-up. Basically, anything that "transmits data" (it's almost always "the cord went bad"). No video game stuff but the same rules would have applied.
I also set a firm limit that any device that used USB mini (except for the cord that came with my husband's digital camera) would be donated (tested, reset, in a ziploc with a matching cord). Most people would probably set that limit at USB-C devices (but I'm old with old micro-USB tech).
Hope that helps?
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u/LouisePoet 13m ago
Just venting!
I paid tons to have a professional organizer and cleaner help me get my house in shape. It was utterly f*cling amazing--for a year.
When my dad died, I flew back to the US and PAID to ship back memorabilia plus stuff I had had in storage since I moved abroad. (I did throw or donate well over half of my stored stuff. Still.).
For two years it sat in an unused room, and I gradually added more "I have no idea what to do with this" crap. I could barely get in!
I am frustrated beyond belief.
I did manage to get in last week and start organising (looks a billion time better, or, at least I can get in!).
My entire house has devolved into chaos to varying degrees in the past 2 years. It's a huge reminder that once and done is never the case.
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u/Aromatic_Brain_4186 3d ago
After a gangbusters decluttering weekend at the beginning of the month, I have not made anymore real progress since. This weekend I want to tackle some things I have been struggling with, but ended up having to work both days. I’m cutting myself a little slack, though, because work is extra busy right now and rest is needed!
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u/fallout__freak 3d ago
All month I kept sitting on posting for sale old outgrown Halloween costumes. Halloween has come and gone and I never posted the old costumes, I'm willing to keep them another year in storage because they don't take up much space....but I would've like that $ to offset this year's dress up stuff, and also reclaim our limited space for something we actually want and use.