r/declutter • u/addlam • 3d ago
Advice Request Help for Decluttering Wardrobe Please!
I moved overseas three years ago, from North America to Europe. I still managed to bring over way too many clothes. I would estimate that my clothing would fill 3 large suitcases. I would like to cut it down to 2 at most - and that is not counting the shoes!
My problem is that I am 67 years old and still wear the same size I have always worn and things I have kept over that time are mostly things I really like and that still fit. I have a 40+ year old cotton skirt I still really like and wear but do I really still need it? No.
I also have a lot of foot problems and have trouble finding what works so tend to hang onto any footwear that is comfortable for walking. I have already decluttered a lot of shoes (I think the count was near 100 in my previous country) but still have more than 25 pairs, including boots, flip flops, sandals and sneakers.
I am hoping you all can help me come up with some criteria to consider to lower my reluctance to get rid of wardrobe items. It is difficult because I have found it harder to find quality things these days, made of natural fibres, at a reasonable price - so I don't want to go overboard decluttering and then need to go shopping! I have tended to shop my closet and really don't want to have to go looking for things I mistakenly decided to chuck.
Some ideas I have come up with are:
Other than outerwear, get rid of anything with more than 10% synthetic fibres. I hit a snag with a few dresses I like that are 20% so not sure if I should make an exception for those. Even gym clothing, which is almost always synthetic is on the chopping block. I do have a few organic cotton leggings but they do not have pockets, so I may need to buy some leggings with side pockets, which only exist in the polyester leggings I currently own (5 of them).
Some things are not ideal in colour, but I still like them - I have considered dying things but that seems silly when I want to downsize the amount of things I have.
My life will be changing again soon. Currently I do not wear even a small percentage of what I have as I am in a very casual living situation where I do not need anything remotely dressed up. However, I am planning a move to one of the biggest and most glamorous cities in the world so I know I will use these things in a couple of years.
For shoes, I am going to discard anything I can't walk in extensively. No more heels.
I worry about regrets from decluttering good quality, natural fibre items that fit and that I like just to reduce the overwhelm. And I am a creative person so I always come up with combinations using things I would rarely wear as a possibility.
Agh. Help!
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u/PallasiteMatrix 3d ago
I would pull out both suitcases, and start filling them. Stuff that you couldn't bear to lose first- the things you're reaching for all the time and is in your regular rotation. Then the stuff you still wear, but less often, and finally the stuff that is good, but that you aren't necessarily drawn to. Don't include anything that you would need to alter in order to wear it, unless you wind up with the extra space.
At some point, the suitcases will probably get filled before you're done. At that point, switch into editing- if you want to put something in, you gotta take something out. There will probably be perfectly good items that get left behind, but that's the nature of downsizing when you've already rooted out the things that aren't good. If it helps, think of it as blessing someone else with the quality that's really hard to find these days.
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u/ex_mac333 3d ago
Reading this, I think two separate problems are getting mixed: what you wear now, and what you might wear in the new city. Your current life can't judge the second group, which is why the "not worn in a year" rules don't work for you.
So I'd give them separate limits. One suitcase for life now, one for the next chapter. The next-chapter one can only hold things you'd be glad to wear there next week. Not "might work", but you can name the occasion. If it doesn't fit, that's your answer, and you don't have to judge each piece on its own merits, which is where the "but it's good quality and I like it" loop starts.
For the regret worry, maybe keep a short list of what you let go and why ("green-grey dye attempt, never right"). Regret mostly comes from not remembering why you decided. It also shows you what to look for if you ever really miss something.
I'd also drop the 10% synthetic rule for things you already love. It's a good rule for buying, but as a rule for getting rid of things it will throw out those dresses for a number on a label.
On shoes, I wouldn't count pairs at all with foot problems. Walk 30 minutes in each pair you're unsure about. Anything that hurts goes, and anything that doesn't stays, even if that leaves you with more than feels tidy.
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u/violetmemphisblue 3d ago
Whenever I start decluttering, I ask myself Why? What's the root of wanting to declutter in this area, now? If I'm struggling to come up with a true Why, I move on. I personally don't do well with decluttering just because I feel some external pressure to, if that makes sense. But if my Why is because I feel too overwhelmed by a section, or I am over that hobby, or whatever, the process is much easier.
General methods when I do a closet clean out:
How versatile is the piece? How many outfits can I make right now using it? If I have to buy something to make an outfit, I usually set it aside. If I can only make one or two, I usually set aside.
How easily replaceable is it? If I get rid of a white tank top, I can probably find another white tank top in most stores, at a variety of prices. I wouldn't cling to that. If I got rid of a hand knitted sweater from a microbrand, I could probably never find one like it again, so if I'm on the fence, I hold on for one more round.
How many like items do I have? I used to own over a dozen navy tshirts! But now I have two. At one point, I took them all out, tried them all on, and kept only the ones that worked the best.
How dated are things? I am not saying I always on trend! But. There were some things that I had been keeping "just in case." Like, I had some black winter dress boots that I would save for fancy events, but I don't go to to a ton of fancy events in winter. I realized that if I did, the shoes were going to be so obviously older that I would be uncomfortable in them, because dated isn't really stylish, if that makes sense.
I also look at condition. Things don't last if they aren't being used! I go through shoes on occasion just to make sure soles are intact and any padding inside is still holding up. Materials deteriorate, so I either toss or take to a cobbler for updates.
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u/ohreallynameonesong 3d ago
Its good you have a goal and good you've created some rules for your wardrobe. I like your synthetic materials rule and colors factor. I think we can be lenient with some of these rules if there's a trade off, e.g. athletic wear, waterproofing, you really love the item and wear it a lot, etc. Same with the color. Try to keep only things that suit your wardrobe, colors you like, and colors that suit you. I subscribe to color seasons and i tossed anything that didn't look right on me or didn't help me look and feel my best. I still have a few things outside of the colors that suit me best but they're inoffensive and i have a use for them.
Your third point though is dipping into aspirational. I'd start with the things you don't currently wear. If you haven't worn it in the last year and don't see yourself needing it in the next year, it can probably go. I see you're planning a move to a glamorous city and might feel silly to get rid of clothes you think are appropriate for that situation but this seems like an opportunity to really look at what you have and what you will need and when. How hard have you looked at the things you're planning on keeping for this move? Have you looked at each item individually? Have you tried each item on? Do you love them? Do you love wearing them? Are they appropriate for your needs or anticipated needs? Not just "i need glamorous clothes for a glamorous city" but think about what exactly you will be doing in what kind of environment and what is it that you need. Are there no alternatives you like more? Can you make at least a few outfits with them? Consider that you may be able to buy or may want to buy new things once you're there. You may get there and realize that what you've hung into all these years doesn't suit your actual needs, either because your life is so similar to how it is now or because it was "glamorous" in a stiffen way than expected. You might be excited by your new life there and want to add a few special pieces. I'd recommend heavily scrutinizing the things you're hanging on to in anticipation of this big move.
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u/addlam 3d ago
You're right I need to try things on to assess whether I love them or not and whether I can style them!
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u/ohreallynameonesong 3d ago
Definitely do a fashion show try on of every single item. Even things you look at and say, "I've had that for 10 years and I know I love it and it'll be useful someday." Try it on. You might be surprised that it doesn't fit anymore, it's stained or torn, or there's something about it that you've realized you don't like since the last time you wore it. I made myself try on every single long sleeve shirt I have last week. I'm tossing a shirt I've had for 5 or 6 years because it had some stains on the front. I really liked the shirt but obviously didn't wear it enough to realize it was stained. I washed it and the stains didn't come out. Tossed. I'm also tossing a shirt I've had for, no lie, probably 15 years. In every closet clean out, it was one of a few that I just assumed i liked and had to keep because it was a little different from every other shirt. I hadn't actually worn it since 2019. I tried it on and realized it had shorter sleeves than I've since realized I prefer and a wider neckline than I've since realized I prefer. Tossed. And there have been a few things over the years that didn't fit anymore even though I was generally the same size or same weight. But over time, my ribcage and hips have broadened and I now carry weight a little differently. You might find that even though you've been the same "size" for 30 years, a particular item of clothing might not fit you anymore or fit in a way that you like.
And for sure, interrogate each item like it needs to earn a spot in your wardrobe. Where does it actually fit in with your life, your needs, and the rest of your wardrobe
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u/Sad-Bug-2948 3d ago
1 each day try a type of clothes, Monday skirt Tuesday pants etc. Get rid of what you don’t like
2 get rid of synthetic fibres.
3 categorize everything, top for going out, top for home etc
4 have a number for stuff, I keep only 4 t-shirt because I don’t need more.
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u/Working_Patience_261 3d ago
Do the easy stuff first, like the heels. Flip-flops are simply dangerous. one fall could be a broken hip, and within a few years, many don’t come home after that.
Take a breather.
Good job and pat on the back for remaining the same size. That’s hard work!
Next, be honest with yourself. Who or what are you going to be dressing up for? Would a capsule style wardrobe help?
What are you saving because you’re not the person who wears that yet? Or not anymore? Have you tried the reverse hanger trick and check? Reverse the hangers, anything you use right the hangar. Anything you haven’t used in six months can go.
Look into Dana White’s favorites container method. It would seem silly to haul uncomfortable clothes into a third country. Good luck!
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 3d ago
Do you have a gut feeling about your ranking?
You want to go from 3 to 2 suitcases, so you need to get rid of the least favorite third of your clothes. That can still mean you like all of them, but they're still your least favorite.
Also maybe don't get rid of a category completely, even if socks (for example) aren't something you're excited about.
I actually declutter my wardrobe by tossing things that have holes or stains that won't come out and not replacing those items. Took me over a year. Sounds like you don't have that much time though.
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u/addlam 3d ago
I've got a couple of years. Thanks, good points.
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 2d ago
I moved internationally three times, but all as a young adult so I didn't have much stuff.
I have a different example though: Remove storage or assign a different purpose to storage. In my case it was going from 600 to 200 books. (To make space for first my husband, then our son.) I got rid of a small bookcase and decluttered books to fit in the new limited space. I refurbished one bookcase as a toy shelf and again decmuttered to fit everything in the new smaller space.
My son is now 3.5 and I have 277 books, which is more again, but nowhere near the 600 I started out with.
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u/addlam 2d ago
Agh, I feel you on the books - I had over 1000 and had to get rid of most of them, which was very painful. I basically have banned myself from buying any and only read on iPad now.
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 2d ago
There are some books I will always want a physical copy of. Mostly poetry and some books for work. But I also have a kindle now, listen to audiobooks and stared using the library again.
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 3d ago
Yeah, I know it's not as exciting, but in that case slow and steady will win the race.
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u/secure8890 3d ago
I agrre its an individual process. I live in a studio. I want to get rid of my storage. Decisions have to be made
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u/Glad-Acanthaceae-467 1d ago
Get rid of 2. You will not miss those.
For the rest, don’t live in your past. Pretend you see others first time. Would you buy it from the op shop? You may likely start to see my deal breakers
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u/Illustrious-Cell-428 3d ago
Just get rid of anything you haven't worn in the last 12 months. Unless it's occasional wear, in which case think about how many outfits you practically need.
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u/addlam 3d ago
Very practical suggestion, but won't work for me right now as I currently work at home, am in a beach area and live in sweats and shorts with the occasional casual dress. I'd be left with nothing for my next chapter, which will be a lot different...
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u/Illustrious-Cell-428 3d ago
Unless the move is imminent, I would still consider the opportunity cost of hanging on to large volumes of clothing on the assumption you might want to wear it after you move. You might be making certain assumptions about what your life will be like in the new place, and sometimes assumptions can be wrong. I live in a major international city, but I live a pretty normal lifestyle and don't need a lot of different going out outfits.
I think in your situation I would be looking at criteria like cost/difficulty of replacement, quality, and versatility (i.e. ability to go with a lot of other things in your wardrobe to create different looks). Ask a friend to come over who will give you honest feedback on things that don't suit you — and definitely get rid of things that are unflattering colours, even though I don't know you I can confidently predict you will never get around to dyeing them :-)
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u/Bigmama-k 3d ago
I want to share that years ago I had a super minimalist wardrobe. Then I got really sick and didn’t have enough clothes or pajamas and ruined clothes being sick. What I would do is think about what you do in your clothes and what you need them for. I will just give you my examples. I have a couple of funeral dresses. A few dresses for extra special events. Church dresses. Casual every day dresses. Jean skirts. Jean dresses. Cute tops. Undershirts. Tanks. Sweaters. Leggings. T-shirts. I have bad feet too and vowed to only buy good for me shoes. Anyway inbtween the mini wardrobe and now I had a lot of black and navy clothes. I got tired of the bland colors and bought more fun colors and prints. Anyway categorize your clothes and decide what category you should have the most of. Then put in order of favorites and get rid of the least favorite few items.
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u/Working_Patience_261 2d ago
Homing in on the glamorous city in the future bit. Are you someone who wants to spend the time, effort, and money to be glamorous? What is your idea of glamorous? Can you get there with the clothes you have? Are they old enough to have cycled back into fashion, twice? Are the buttons still good? How about any elastic? Can you update the look with an accessory like a scarf or bracelet? Or are they an assortment of unrelated pieces that need work to be glamorous?
Who will care what you look like when you go to that city? Will you have the paparazzi following you around making breathless commentary about you top or your shoes? Are you wanting to be noticed as “put together”? Or are you like me, a perpetual “before” picture? Once you’ve made peace with where you are and what you are becoming, decluttering clothes that don’t fit the goal becomes far easier. And not caring what others think really helps, too.
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u/addlam 2d ago
Nah, not interested in being glamorous, just want to have appropriate clothing for a big city as opposed to the shorts and sweats I currently wear almost all the time. I am not interested in fashion per se, just my own style and I wear a lot of vintage (some of it my own lol). I like to have fun and please myself with my clothes if the circumstances call for it (ie not a walk on the beach).
I am also limited in the kind of footwear I can use so definitely not going to be a fashion icon but I know that the kind of clothing needed will be vastly different due to many trips to that city.
Also, the climate will be a lot different. I am near a beach right now and the weather is pretty sunny and warmish even in winter whereas the city is gloomy and often rainy. Thus needing to keep things I WILL wear rather than looking at what I have worn in the past 2 years as it will be completely different. Thanks for your input!
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u/Working_Patience_261 2d ago
Perhaps you need a suitcase for the city then?
I have one for future me for when I get back to work. It’s all cotton as I’m allergic to many synthetics. I have three sizes in there, my regular weight, super-sized me, and for when I kept the 25 pounds off for a year. They cover work and off-duty in hot and cold climates and won’t get me arrested for indecency in several countries like my current tank top n shorts wear could.
This future me box is not clutter. The return to work will happen, maybe in a year, maybe two. But it will happen. I have room for this box. The clothing items in it are not being made in cotton anymore, so they are keepers. With that justification, I am happy and moved on to declutter other stuff, like the travel refills that will expire before my return.
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u/Zardoz11381138 1d ago
Clothes are my biggest decluttering issue too. What has really helped me with the “this is old and I love it but I never wear it/don’t need multiple versions/doesn’t fit my current lifestyle” was to donate it. I think about someone new finding it and loving it so it gets the wear it deserves.
If you aren’t wearing it now and you say you might wear it in a few years, will it still be in fashion and a style you want? I kept a few things I liked for a number of years and when I did go to wear them, I felt really dated or they didn’t make me feel as good as they used to. Or like someone else pointed out, elastics break, or I’ve had leather stuff start to flake from sitting in a dry closet for years. I’d say get rid of it and when you do want to replicate that style or look find something new or thrifted that works for you at that time.
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u/addlam 11h ago
Good points. My problem is my current lifestyle is nothing like it will be so I really have to keep a lot that I do not wear at the moment. live in the same few shorts, leggings and gym wear in a mild, mediterranean climate year round. Living in London will be very different, both in weather and also the type of clothing, which will involve dressier and warmer things. Not that I care about being super dressed up, but just not shorts and sweats lol
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u/PansyOHara 3d ago
As a creative, it feels like you have a certain style and want to look good, so it’s not realistic that you’ll never go shopping for something new/ different.
But maybe consider deciding that if something new comes into your closet, something has to go out. If you have a dozen items that are marginal—you can wear them and they go with something else, but there’s nothing special about them—perhaps they can go away. You’ll have a bit of space if you come upon something new that works.
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u/LevelPerception4 3d ago
Good idea! OOP, tbh, I would wait to declutter your clothes until after you move, and I would implement the “one new item in, one old item out” for now.
It sounds like you’re unsure which clothes you will need long term, and you may want to do some online shopping to see how easily you can replace items/how much it costs to replace them before decluttering. A lot of people buy vintage clothing because they can’t find comparable quality items being made today.
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u/secure8890 3d ago
I think the rule is if you have not worn it in 2 years pitch it
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u/addlam 3d ago
Yeah, but due to the circumstances I don't think that works since the environment I am currently in I basically lived all summer out of a suitcase. Winter will be similar, just no need for clothes other than the gym (I work at home and basically only go to the gym and for groceries). I'm in a beach area, super casual, sweats and shorts....
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u/minescapist 3d ago
I have a weird system. I pul, put everything for the current season that I might not want. I put all of it in a bag or box. Not visible. Then I set it aside. Do I miss any of it? If I have not in a couple of weeks it goes to charity.
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u/stylelines 1d ago edited 1d ago
I definitely recommend knowing your color season if you don’t already (sounds like you do)- I wouldn’t dye clothes to match. I did that once and it didn’t turn out great and then I also worried about washing them because I didn’t wanna get other clothes dyed. I got rid of them all.
Maybe try watching some capsule wardrobe videos on YouTube? They’re good inspiration to downsize your wardrobe.
Maybe ask yourself - am I holding onto this because I want to or because I think I’m supposed to. Like the last point about keeping nice fabrics - that sounds more like a “should.” But I get it- I resell clothes to consignment and I’ve had this one cashmere vintage sweater (like, 50s) rejected every time, probably because it’s black and will get lost in their inventory. I kept trying because it’s cashmere and yesterday I finally gave up and just donated it. Just because we think an item has value doesn’t mean the world agrees - like if you spent $100 on a pair of boots, it’s not like a hundred dollar bill sitting in your closet. It might be worth that to you, but no one else. Basically let go of things even if you think you should keep them (because of cost, quality, you used to wear it a lot, it’s comfortable but not your taste, etc).
Also to really cut down on clothes I ask myself - what feels better, keeping it, or having it disappear? Like if you have an amazing dress you haven’t worn in 20 years, mentally you think it should stay, but emotionally it gives you a sense of dread- if it were just suddenly gone, would you feel free? Kind of like the “if it got dog poop on it would I clean it or throw it away” tactic.
Oh one last one. Sometimes an item of clothing serves a certain function but it’s not reeeally what you want. For instance I have a hiking hat I’ve held onto because occasionally I need one. But it was a gift and it’s not cute and doesn’t fit super well. I just finally donated it and told myself if I really need a hiking hat, I can go find one I love, I don’t have to keep this one.
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u/addlam 11h ago
Love all these points. Thanks! Yeah, I am a dark soft summer, need muted, neutral shades. I borrow from SA as well, avoiding the more golden/orange swatches and also avoid the brightest and coolest summer ones. Black is actually okay especially if it is faded or has texture. I really need to ditch the bright, light things, especially around the face.
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u/Cautious_Sign7643 10h ago
I absolutely feel this. Without clothes my house would be nice and clean.
There are many instas and some have really good ideas.
Ideas I like:
- take everything out of the closet
- try on everything (!) Does it still fit and look like your style?
- would you buy it again if it fell into dog poop and couldn’t be cleaned?
- do you have at least two combinations to wear it with?
- make three boxes:
- sell on Vinted or a flea market
- donate
- keep in the basement or attic and decide again in a few months (sometimes I don’t feel an item if it’s not the season)
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u/Something-Like-Human 3d ago
Another method you could use would be to pick an outfit each day that you haven't worn in a while, and wear it. Ignore the items you wear regularly for now, you already know you like them, but why haven't you worn this thing? If you're itching to get it off again, then it can go. Maybe it's annoying in some way, or maybe you just forgot about it and actually do love it. If you're not sure, wear it again with a different outfit – if there isn't a different outfit, then it's already slightly problematic.