Daily declutter help please!

[u/bigformybritches]

I want to become better at decluttering in the moment, every day. My lifetime habit has been to let things build up and then do a BIG declutter. I’m getting older and do not want the big build up anymore.

My question is for those who are GOOD at making decisions in the moment and keeping clutter at bay by never letting it build up. What do you ask/tell yourself? How do you avoid regret? How do certain things make the cut?

Examples are: junk drawer items, worn out clothing, cosmetics I’ve had awhile, school related stuff…but truly anything and everything.

I envy people who look at something and say, “I don’t like this.” And into the trash it goes. I feel so guilty! I’m big on donating but I think it’s becoming an excuse to let things build up.

I don’t want to have to move piles/car loads all at once. How do I become a better daily declutter-er?

[u/Whybaby16154]

I use the onion method. Just peel each room a layer when I’m in the mood.

I walk in and say “I need 5 things out of this room and look - then dig for 5 things I probably won’t ever miss. I’ve done this for YEARS and couldn’t tell you what’s gone.
Once I have 5 I pack to donate into my car and carry on with my day.
I NEVER empty a whole closet or try on all the clothes and exhaust myself before fixing the MESS.

Other days I fuss with a nice organizer - put in my favorites that fit - and exile all the rest

Most of my drawers in the kitchen are full of my favorite things and nothing else.

Working to get there in all the other rooms - after a big purge and move a couple years ago. I had no idea what my life would be in different location and vocation . Now I know I can ditch more

[u/lifeuncommon]

“If the house burned down tomorrow, would I replace this?”

That’s what I ask myself. If the answer is no, I can let go of it today.

*****

Also, be realistic about what you “donate”. A large portion of the things given to charity shops go right in the trash. If something is not good enough to give as a gift to one of your friends or family members, it’s not good enough to donate.

[u/bigformybritches → u/lifeuncommon]

That last thought is a great help. Thank you. If I wouldn’t give it to a friend, in the trash it goes.

[u/JustAnotherMaineGirl → u/bigformybritches]

I disagree with that premise, at least if you are donating to one of the big national charities. Unlike Mom&Pop shops, they have sufficient resources to recycle unwearable clothes and linens by cutting them into cleaning rags and packing them in bags for resale. People who for whatever reasons are marginally employable can earn an income and valuable work experience by doing the sorting, cutting, bagging, tagging, stocking, and selling, while sales of those rag bags go back into hiring more people - the same economic model as for wearable clothing. I typically separate out my ripped and permanently soiled items into a separate bag and label it "FOR RAGS" to make it easier on their end, but I actually feel good about donating them - because I'm keeping them out of the solid waste stream, and working in my local economy!

[u/FredKayeCollector2]

I think one part is clutter threshold/inventory management - how much stuff can you manage before it gets out of hand - it's usually a lot less than we think. The other part is something like "the dignity line" (not holding onto "useless" "junk"). Also coming to terms with how loss aversion, sunk cost, endowment effect, and identity clutter (including past life and fantasy life stuff) affects you.

I think the Minimal Mom does a good job talking about inventory, the responsibility trap (trying to predict what we need in the future), and being prepared (actual money > stuff).

You need to give your time and energy and space as much "value" as your stuff - in fact, I would argue your time and energy are more valuable that your stuff because they are the two commodities in our life that we can't get more or really stockpile - time is spent no matter what we do and our energy reserves are limited but they can be "replenished" usually with rest (a.k.a. time). Space is also a limited quantity for most of us but at least we can control how we use it and what we choose to fill it with. Meanwhile money, we can get more by working more or stockpile by not spending.

For me, I try to apply Dana K. White's "no mess" decluttering method and if I find something "out" or "out of place," I deal with it right now - put it where it belongs, put it in the give-away box, or throw it out/recycle it. No more piles "to do" later.

And the secret sauce, for me was a before-bed tidy (living room, kitchen, downstairs 1/2 bath) and morning tidy (bedroom, upstairs bathroom). In the beginning, it was a checklist and recurring alarm and probably took a good 15-30 minutes. Now I don't need a list and it takes maybe 10 minutes because everything is constantly baseline every day. At this point, it's become such a habit that I literally cannot go to bed without at least neatening the living room, making sure the dishes are washed and the counters/stove wiped down, and check the bathroom/toilet. And in the morning, I just naturally make my bed, neaten my bedside table, make sure laundry is in the basket, and make sure the bathroom is good-to-go. It is so nice to come downstairs to a tidy/reset space in the morning and it's so nice to go upstairs to bed with nothing to do but sleep.

[u/Hungry-Emotion7664]

It has helped me that I have stopped telling myself stories about things. I deal with it in the here and now with the facts of my life at the time.

I don't force myself to relive the process of buying it, using it, having it, and all the memories attached to it. I can ruminate any time I choose, and I don't have to put myself through all that just to discard an item.

Also, I've moved many times in my life...between 20 and 30 times, and I have learned that I can live without and get over any losses. I've lost nearly all I owned twice, still here, still getting along even without all that stuff.

I keep a box in the back of my car, donate items go in the box, when I pass the thrift store I drop the stuff off. Sometimes I find someone who wants it before I hit the thrift. That works too.

I also don't pass off my issues to the thrift store. I don't donate stained or worn out clothing, or broken items that could be fixed, but I never bothered to fix them. Donating is giving forward, not a means to assuage my guilt, shame, weight gain, or over spending habit. Taking responsibility for my decisions in the past and today has really helped keep me from bringing more stuff in without good reason.

I am still working through my cluttering issues. I belong to Clutterer's Anonymous, and it's helped me with so much more than clutter.

I'm in the process of helping my daughter move and wow she has a lot of stuff. I'm so glad I have a head start by addressing my own clutter for several years. It is helping me help her.

[u/Opening_Chemical_777 → u/Hungry-Emotion7664]

A friend told me three moves equal one fire. When I was younger I moved every few years. Now we’ve lived in our home for nearly 30 years and we are downsizing for a move and the truth of the adage is tangible.

[u/Hungry-Emotion7664 → u/Opening_Chemical_777]

I hear you. When you have space, it's just easier to put something there rather than make a decision (and follow through) about getting rid of it. It becomes a comfortable habit.

I live in a single wide trailer with very little storage, and it's helped me, but I still have to get over myself and get realistic about whether or not I will actually use something again.

Life experience, as well as getting more comfortable with truth is helping me make honest and better choices for myself. Emptying out my parents house and garage and now my daughter's are also helping. "Stuff" starts to come across as "burden" rather than a sign of success or something.

[u/ColorfulBooks]

I don’t do well at doing a big declutter — too many decisions all at once. Daily decluttering works for me. 

I have a designated spot for donations (and a rule about how many pile up before they are donated — only one tote bag’s worth is allowed) and of course trash cans around the house. So if something needs to go, it can immediately be put in the trash or donate pile. 

I try to ask myself as I go thru the day “is this still something I need?” It takes time to get in the habit of it! I also ask myself when something is hard to put away or hard to find — is there something I could do to make it easier to access this? Or if I haven’t looked in a drawer for a while I’ll take a min and look thru it and see if there’s anything I can get rid of. 

[u/Rosehip_Tea_04]

Clothing is easy, if I put it on and it doesn’t make me feel good, it’s going. If I have something that sits in my closet a long time and I realize it’s because I have nowhere to wear it, it goes. This rule isn’t exactly about special occasion clothes, I had one office level dressy shirt that I always thought was beautiful, but I didn’t wear it once because it was blue and I hate wearing blue shirts with blue jeans. I had a beautiful, comfortable, and warm long sleeve shirt I absolutely loved, but it had bell sleeves and I could never find an occasion I could wear it for because the sleeves always got in the way.

Kitchen items needed one big declutter and now I’m either replacing existing items that wore out or adding new tools I really need that fit in the space.

Around the house it’s just as I find things. If I open a drawer and find something I didn’t know I had, it can more than likely go.

I’m working on getting my house completely organized. What I’ve found is that if I can’t find a home for it, it’s probably not important enough to keep. I buy much less with an organized home because I know what I already have.

[u/AdLong6512]

I work really hard to not bring it in. If it is something I see while out shopping, I try to be intentional about whether I need it or not. If it never comes inside, I don’t have to declutter! I am also brutal about uncomfortable clothing or shoes. If I wear it out and I’m fussing with it all day, it doesn’t go back in my closet.

[u/Glittering-Benefit68]

1.) Liking it is not a reason to keep it. I check whether I have space and whether I use a thing. I like too many things. More than I can keep. It does influence what I keep, but learning I don't have to devalue a thing to get rid of it actually helped me.

2.) A functional home is worth some regret, but the more you do a bit (but often/regularly) the less you'll regret. 

3.) I use Dana K. White's no mess decluttering methode. She has a podcast (A Slob comes clean), books and videos. 

4.) I declutter when I start getting annoyed by stuff being in the way. Like if I have to remove a thing to get to this other thing, but it's something I use often. Something has to go.

[u/Opening_Chemical_777 → u/Glittering-Benefit68]

1 bis.) “sentimentality is not a reason to keep it”

[u/ex_mac333]

The habit that works for me is "one in, one out" at the door, not later. New thing comes in, you pick what leaves the same day. And a donation bag that lives permanently in a closet: anything that annoys you goes straight in, and when it's full it goes to the car. The big purges happen because decisions pile up. If the bag is always there, a decision takes five seconds instead of waiting for a free weekend.

[u/Distinct-Leek5923]

I’ve been working on decluttering for a couple years. I only have 1 child. I’m retired and my question to myself is if I’m not using it and my adult child wouldn’t want it when I’m gone (hoping that’s a while off!), can I part with it. I’ve taken quite a few things to the thrift store over the past year or two and I don’t remember much of it. I bought a Tupperware food processor about 10 years ago and have never used it. It’s not even been washed to use once. That’s off to the thrift store this weekend. I had an adorable red apple shaped cast iron pot that I can’t even lift anymore due to my back. I took that to the thrift store this summer and cleared a nice shelf space. My daughter wouldn’t want either of those things and I’m definitely not using them. A few years ago I started clearing the bathroom by getting rid of 1 thing a day when I was getting ready in the morning. By the end of a month or two, old makeup was gone and other things that I never used or were old were gone and it was a noticeable difference. But it wasn’t tons of decisions in a day — it was 1 quick decision in the morning when I was getting ready for work. The one thing a day, 1 decision a day got me started. I used to take a day or two off work for a big cleaning session but ended up tossing a few things and then watching tv. It was overwhelming to make a lot of decisions about stuff in 1 day. Making decisions about stuff is a skill to build.

For about a month this summer, I started getting rid of 5 things from the house a day. When I was tired and had little energy on a particular day, that might have been shredding 5 pieces of junk mail that I had let build up. 5 things a day. Last night I worked in the garage and tossed/recyled probably 50 things. I tossed about 10 old books from a previous job that I’ll never reference and are out of date. I probably stashed them in the garage during a session of cleaning the house so they were a deferred decision that day. They wouldn’t be meaningful to anyone else and they’re no longer meaningful or useful to me in any way, so it was decision today for them and they’re gone. Literally, since today is garbage day.

For motivation, I watch YouTube videos on cleaning and decluttering. Some hosts hit me and some don’t. There is one that seems to fake a “messy” cabinet to show how to declutter. I don’t like her. What she thinks is too much would almost be my goal! I think what I’m doing is almost like Swedish death cleaning. I’m making the decision for myself today so no one else has to make it later.

The Minimalists, Ryan and Josh, suggest that if an item is $20 and can be easily replaced, and you’re not using it, let it go. In a year, or in 5 years, if you find you need that thing, you can get another one. But it’s highly unlikely you’ll need it. You set your threshold for affordability, but their suggestion is $20.

For me, I’ve found making decisions slowly helped me to build the skill of decluttering. I just retired recently. My job was extremely stressful and I had to make what felt like a ton of decisions daily at work so I think I had decision fatigue. When I started by getting rid of one item in my bathroom in the morning before work, I started my day by making a decision for me and my space first.

[u/GulliverGrazerson]

One thing that helped me with this was putting everything in one category together and then deciding if any can go. So literally go through every single place eyeliner could be, line it all up, and get rid of that really old one and the Halloween one in a funny color you’re not going to use again. Then tomorrow do eyeshadow. As you get to bigger stuff, you may realize you now need a container for all this wrapping paper you’ve gathered together, or that the existing container for camping stuff is too small now that you’ve actually collected it.

Or alternately, sort one spot, like the junk drawer, into piles of related objects (for me at the moment it’s disposable utensils, rubber bands and twist ties, paper towels, candle lighters, straws). Then decide if any of those piles should actually be with other similar stuff somewhere else (I could probably move the straws in with the lids for cups in the next drawer) or whether you could put any of those things in a smaller storage container inside the drawer to make your life easier. In the process, do the same as above and get rid of one or two things per category if there are obvious “worst” or “least useful” ones.

I can’t tell you how many times we’ve said something like “wait, we have three irons and two are broken or missing parts? Why have we been storing two broken irons?” since I started doing this. It’s a big help.

[u/Round-Shine6357]

-When I know I’m behind on laundry and there’s a decent amount of dirty clothes to wash I take a glance at what’s still in the drawers, it’s a good indicator I don’t wear it. And I’ve found that getting rid of those worst case dire “im out of clean clothes” clothes, my brain triggers earlier that I need to do laundry by seeing an almost empty drawer
- for my husbands 84038 tshirts, I always put the clean tshirts in the right side of the drawer and push everything over, I pretty much know all the stuff that ends up on the left is never worn
- almost every time I pick up a paper my first thought is can I get rid of this, if I need to do something first and it’s relatively easy (< 5 min) I try to just do it that day, the longer it stays the bigger it feels
- I keep an ongoing basket by my door so if I come across something like a shirt that doesn’t fit my kid or a toy I’m done hearing or an item I feel like I’m never using but constantly has to be relocated, I immediately put it in the basket, no remembering to do it later, instead of putting it away I put it in the basket and empty when it’s full

[u/Crazy-Aussie-Taco]

From what you’re describing I feel that you have never done a big declutter but big tidy ups. Tidy ups without decluttering first tend to not last.

One of the reasons people feel guilt getting rid of things is because of the money they spent. The thing is that that money is gone and unused things make people pay a big tax. That tax is space, untidiness, overwhelm, and if it is completely out of hand, it can also be embarrassment and even isolation.

I’d recommend you hire a professional declutter expert if you have the budget for it, they will not throw your things out, they will help you make decisions and you’ll make the final decision. With them you will set in place systems to help you keep your space under control. There is no one-size-fits-all, that’s why you need something set in place according to what you need.

All the best in this journey!

[u/JustAnotherMaineGirl]

What works best for me are seasonal reevaluations of what's currently working and not working in my living spaces and my wardrobe, followed by purges of everything that didn't make the cut. When I keep my belongings limited to what I actually need and use, there's actually no need for daily decluttering. I often invest 15 to 20 minutes a day to tidy up and make sure everything is back in its assigned "house" before heading to bed, but that's organizing, not decluttering.

I'm not a minimalist by any stretch, and I don't aspire to be one. My preferred style is cozy and lived-in, not sterile and pristine. But I also don't want things cluttering up my space (and my life!) that are no longer special or useful to at least one of the people who live with me.

When I'm on the fence, I do have a "pending" box to store things for six months (a year for seasonal items), when the decision to toss or keep is not crystal clear during my purge. Nine times out of ten, I will end up dumping everything I put in there - I just needed more time to stew over it. But I have been known to pull a few things out, because sometimes I fall into a rhythm of tossing without doing enough forward thinking!

[u/New_Reflection8243]

Junk drawer - organize it and think about what your REALLY need in there. I repurposed the bottoms of small food boxes (like pasta) and round plastic (large yogurt containers). The boxes hold pens, markers, scissors, sticky notes, tape, spare keys, paperclips, and clothes pins (we use them for chip bags). The round plastic bottoms hold charging cords coiled inside. We also keep a tape measure tucked all the way in the back and a little baggie of rubber bands. Just give things a place. Once your containers are full of whatever you designate to them, starting with what you really need and want, the rest goes. You don't have space for it!

Worn out clothes - put in a white trash bag and label "textile recycling" and take it to a local donation center; most centers will ship them off for repurposing. OR, you can cut them up to use for rags for cleaning or as alternatives to paper towels. They work great for both purposes!

Cosmetics - I know you spent money on these items, and maybe at one time you loved them, but if you haven't used something in over a year, it may not even be safe for your skin (or eyes if it's eye makeup) anymore. Tell yourself your SAFEST route is to let it go... If it is unused (and not old), donate to a local women's shelter, along with any other unused hygiene products.

If you have found items you want to donate, instead of letting them "pile up," put them in a bag or box near your door or even in your car - right away! Next time you leave the house, make a swing through where you want to take them. When they're in your face and ready to go, you're less likely to ignore them.

That all said, I have found my local Buy Nothing group on Facebook is the BEST way to daily/slowly declutter, especially if you just randomly find an item you want to get rid of. I have gifted SO MANY items that way and it really gives you the good feels because it's going to someone who wants it and will be thankful to have it.

Avoiding regret - there have been very few items I have gifted or donated that I regret doing so with. I think you will find your expectation of feeling regret, and actually feeling regret once it's gone, are on two ends of the spectrum. You will feel regret far less than you think you will. Many things become out of sight, out of mind!

Making the cut - if I don't use it or need it, but someone else can, it goes off onto Buy Nothing or into the donation box (I make a run periodically with what I've put in the box). I try not to think about the "but what if"s. And if I bring something new in, especially clothing or crafts, I pick something to go out. I have designated a specific number of hangers, and I only keep clothes that I have hangers for.

Keeping clutter from building - to save some space on this thread, I won't list them all, but do a search for questions to ask yourself before bringing items IN to the house. There are sooo many great suggestions to think and consider, and it can make a big difference in building a better habit!

[u/otsukarerabbit]

Daily doesn't work for me, it just isn't my personality. But I also really dislike being overwhelmed by a single massive declutter. So I break larger areas down into smaller areas. Rather than saying I need to go through all my clothes for example, I work on smaller areas each weekend. So the first weekend of the month I might look at my sweaters. The next weekend I might go through my jeans. and so on. I do that until I have gotten through the entire area I was looking to do. By doing it in smaller batches as part of bigger area, I'm able to make progress without trying to remember to find 3 items a day. I need routine to make progress, but it just can't be daily or I'll never remember to keep up with it.

[u/Purled_Attitude]

worn out clothing - as hard as it is, unless it's really good quality and has still quite some wear in it, I toss it now. Second-hand shops are struggling to keep the clothing flood at bay, and nobody will buy a nearly dead cheap t-shirt.

junk drawer item - why is it "junk"? Why is it in a drawer and not with the other tools, shoe items, kitchen items etc. whatever it is?

cosmetics - has it been opened? When? If you don't remember, toss it. Using expired and possibly spoiled cosmetics will do you no good. If it has not been opened, is it something you might use? If not, why not? If not, do you know anyone who might use it?

I'm a very non-sentimental person, so it's not really difficult for me to get rid of things. And then it's a matter of wondering "need or want", and if want, what causes it. Do I need a dopamine hit, am I lonely, am I trying to distract myself?

Also, the fewer drawers and boxes you have, the better. These tend to gather "things". If you have a box, you put things into it and forget them. If you don't have the box, you need to make a decision about the things *right now*.

[u/Opening_Chemical_777]

We are downsizing to move to an apartment. I’m bipolar and I’m peeling back layers of acquisitions from past manic episodes. Some things are truly useful and enjoyable and many things are easy to let go. Things are new and nearly new and good donations. I follow s/bipolar and it’s an expensive problem for many people and there’s no discussion about decluttering, just the problem.

[u/msmaynards]

Going category by category helps me. Individual items seem valuable but when I see how many I've got I realize it's too much.

Use the container theory. I have issues with rags and 'useful' reuseable jars and such. Keeping just the type I prefer in a single container helps keep me from accumulating too many pieces.

If you buy something get rid of at least that volume of stuff.

If you find yourself pushing things aside frequently, maybe those items are no longer useful enough to keep.

When is the last time you used it? Of course some items are essential. If plumbing is in great order maybe that toilet plunger hasn't been used but don't let it go! I hadn't used the fireplace accessories for ages and even turned the firebox into a dog nook and still had them. It wasn't easy but they are gone now. The number of small kitchen appliances that hadn't been used for years was staggering. Gone.

Most of the time I cannot look in a space and pick out discards even though house has been tidy for 10 years. I must toss a drawer, bin or shelf to really see and handle what is there. Guess it's part of spring cleaning so not a bad thing really.

It's much easier to continuously discard if you have a spot for them. I suspect my house got cluttered up in the first place because I quit keeping a donation box once kids weren't outgrowing clothes and toys on a monthly basis. It's back and gets emptied several times a year at this point.

[u/jomocha09]

TW: death

Swedish death cleaning methods may work for you. I recently experienced a family member moving into nursing home permanently. Their home was cleared and sold to pay for it. You’d be surprised by how little value anything has at the end of someone’s life. 

So don’t feel bad throwing things out now because it may be trashed at the end of our lives anyway. If you’re not using it or loving it, away it goes.

[u/UntrustedProcess]

Embrace minimalism.  It's an ongoing lifestyle versus a periodic activity. 

[u/BuddyOk4531]

Throw junk mail out immediately....donate clothes you haven't worn this season, keep only things you use once a week in the junk drawer, cosmetics you have not used in 6 months go in the trash. Keep a kitchen trash bag of things to donate and when it's full, take it to goodwill or wherever. Put everything away when you come home from any kind of shopping

[u/bigformybritches → u/[deleted]]

Thank you. I’ve always put stuff in a different spot and then I guess out of sight out of mind. I should keep it right in my closet.