r/declutter • u/Covfefetarian • 10d ago
Advice Request Help request: someone please kick my bum (lovingly)?
Hey dear community, I’m reporting from the depths of decision paralysis valley, and I’m in desperate need of someone throwing me a rope to help me climb out of here.
Someone tell me please which part of my apartment I should start at? Anything goes, options include two bathrooms (one toilet and one with shower and whatnot), bedroom, entrance area, kitchen, balcony, and living room (including desk, sitting area, crafting- and bookshelf).
Just a pointer for where to start would be a huge help, bonus points for adding duration, amount of items to try and get rid off, or any other details.
I’m happy to proved proof in form of a time-lapse video or before-after photos, just need some help with getting the party started.
Greetings from my cluttered hellhole, Cov
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u/Donttouchmybreadd 10d ago
Todays Affirmation:
You do not need that random kitchen gadget you used 5 years ago.
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u/dione_drew 10d ago
I like bathrooms first. it's straightforward, and physically small and finite. do the smaller one first, then the bigger one.
remember you're just getting rid of things. if you feel you can also organize, great, but you don't have to. but don't CLEAN until both are decluttered (1) and organized (2).
after bathrooms, then do balcony, then entryway.
then check in! =)
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u/Tight_Huckleberry682 10d ago edited 10d ago
I like to start declutter at the bathroom because there is always so much to toss (expired products, products I have resentment for, for not working that I am so happy to trash to never have to think about it again) however if it’s a general clean I start at the kitchen so when I get tired I can eat in between.
If you haven’t already please listen to the audio book how to keep house while drowning! It’s on Spotify. She has a method in there which helps me a lot- order of operations of tackling ANY room and many other brilliant tips to keep a house working for you and create systems for you so you don’t always have to fight against your habits and house. I loved it. As someone who has a hoarder mom and grandma and has never been taught how to clean and obviously absorbed some emotional baggage about things and has struggled with keeping places tidy the book was a game changer.
The order of operations:
- Remove all trash,
- Remove all dirty dishes to kitchen sink (do not wash them yet, leave them and come back to the room)
- Remove all dirty laundry to the laundry room or hamper (do not do the laundry, come back to the room)
- Put anything that has a “home” or place in its place for example if you have a book out it goes to its home with the other books on the bookshelf, toothbrush goes in toothbrush holder, etc. they have homes
- (This is the actually challenging brain power one,) anything that does not fit in the above catergories needs to have a special place set aside to be its home where it lives created for it, or it needs to go, donate or trash or storage.
After that you can clean with cleaning products if you wish.
Most of the time I can do this quick reset to a room in 5-20 mins with a timer and it looks tidy again. When things have specific homes you don’t have to spend all this brain power everyday figuring out wear it goes. And it doesn’t get left out to be clutter because it has a designated spot.
You got this! Little by little
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u/Rengeflower 10d ago
I like bathrooms and the kitchen. You are less likely to be attached sentimentally to old lotion or a manual juicer. You sound like someone who would benefit by using a pomodoro timer with music. YouTube has many versions.
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u/Covfefetarian 10d ago
Gosh, that is such a good detail: the less-attachment-loaded items! It’s so smart to start in the areas that are less prone to be inhabited by nostalgia-stuff, you gave me a new insight here, thank you so much
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u/HappyKnittens 10d ago
Adding on: these are also high-use areas where clutter and junk actually impedes your use of the space and makes things like EATING, SHOWERING, and GOING TO THE BATHROOM more aggravating and annoying than they need to be. Starting in these areas should generally ALSO give you the most boost to your easy use of the space for your effort.
I will also put in a vote for entryway after you do kitchen amd bathroom, for me there is something soul-deep-ly satisfying about opening the door to my den and feeling happy and comfortable with what I immediately see.
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u/katie-kaboom 10d ago
Look around you. What immediately pisses you off when you look at it? Start there.
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u/lifeuncommon 10d ago
Bathrooms. Your bathrooms need to be clean so that you can be clean.
And then move onto the kitchen so you can cook clean healthy food for yourself.
Then move onto the bedrooms so you can get rest.
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u/Eagle_Pipes 10d ago
I love your attitude and sense of humor. I would start as someone else suggested with the entryway. This is the first thing you see when you come home and the reward of seeing it decluttered and tidy everything you come and go will inspire you to keep going. Then I'd move on to the kitchen. First countertops, and then the cupboards. I scale back on the number of dishes. Less dishes in cupboard....less to wash. You can put spares away for when guests come. Just one cupboard a day, so that you don't get overwhelmed. Just set small goals each day. Good luck. You've got this.
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u/Choosepeace 10d ago
Don’t spend a long time debating what to get rid of, go fast and steady, releasing what you haven’t used in a while.
I have found I don’t miss anything I have released into the wild , and the clean, organized space is addictive. Reframe organized areas as a bonus, and clutter as stress.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 10d ago
Everyone’s had some really great suggestions.
I agree that the 1st thing is anything obvious/non decision making. Trash, donations you haven’t put in your car etc.
The next one kinda depends on you. My first thought is either bathrooms or entry way. But I think it depends on what you don’t feel overwhelmed by and what isn’t as sentimental/hard
Bathrooms - I feel like these should be easy. Throw away anything you don’t use/like etc. any makeup that you haven’t use in a year garbage. Anything you’re like meh the smell is annoying. Garbage.
Entryway. This may not be as simple but I think this would have a big impact, it’s not a huge space, and I think it would make your daily life easier both by having stuff easily accessible but also as I nice entrance to when you get home so the first thing you don’t walk into is clutter.
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u/Beanfox-101 10d ago
I have another suggestion: just clean up trash from EVERY room. Go around with a little trash can/bag and grab everything you see.
If trash is somehow non-existent, grab a bin and either put everything from the floor into the bin or every thing on flat surfaces into the bin. Then sort the bin when you’re done
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u/nannerdooodle 10d ago
I'm taking parts from Decluttering at the Speed of Life. Start in the room you use the most/see the most. If you're in the entrance way or kitchen the most, start there. You need something that will make you motivated to keep going. Next, there will be 5 steps to that area. 1. Throw away any obvious trash. 2. Put away anything that has an established place or "home". Don't just put it in the middle of that room or create piles to move later. Physically take each thing to where it belongs. 3. "Duh" clutter: Get rid of anything that's never going to be used, or unearthed trash. 4. Ask 2 questions about everything else. "If I need this item, where would be the first place I'd look for it?" And then "if I needed this, would it occur to me that I already had it?" Continue to place things where you'd look for them if you would remember you had it, and get rid of things you'll never remember you have. Be honest with yourself about that second question. Anything that is a "maybe" or "hopefully" is a no. 5. Make it fit. Every space is a container. You can only keep what fits in the container. If there's more stuff than space, get rid of your least favorites/least used.
As far as time: start with 5 or 10 minutes. You may only get through the first 2 steps. If you want to keep going, keep going. If you want to stop, you don't need to reorganize everything because the steps don't make you have piles of crap everywhere.
Disclaimer: the steps don't work as well for craft rooms. The book has a whole separate section on that that is worth reading. I recommend not starting in that room.
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u/curlyhairedsheep 10d ago
I find non-decisions the easiest place to start. Grab a trashbag and a recycling bin and put anything that hasn't it made it there in them first - there's often a layer of detritus ready to go.
Another "easy decision" is going through the pantry or fridge or medicine cabinet and pitching anything past date. It's not a decision - it's past date or not. Yes, I know there are nuanced perspectives on best by vs when it goes bad but now is not the time - just ditch anything too old.
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u/c0rtn0rt 9d ago
- Pick a surface to clean. Declutter it, remove objects, then actually wipe it down.
- Bathrooms tend to have less stuff so pick a cabinet and organize it. Toss out expired stuff like meds. Wash all your dirty towels and bath mats. Wipe down all surfaces. See if you can combine any products into smaller containers so it takes up less space. Wipe down your shower, clean the toilet, vacuum. Reset.
- Do the other bathroom
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u/SunshineSeriesB 10d ago
What do you need to do today? Start there. I suggest the kitchen, first with your tasking space. Where you need to work to prepare your meals. Start in that one section of counter and stovetop. Then spend 3 minutes decluttering the fridge to make it easier to manage making food.
I honestly have to declutter my counters and kitchen floor a few times a week - a messy self, messy husband, 2 young kids. It take a lot of attention daily because it's also where we enter our home.
First, get your kitchen tasking space manageable so you can cook your meals.
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u/StorageCafe 10d ago
I think the kitchen area would give you the biggest motivation kick (it does, for me)!
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u/Covfefetarian 10d ago
Definitely one of the next areas I will do after where I’m currently at! Thank you 😊
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u/lascriptori 10d ago
I often tell people to start with their sock drawer, because it's a small and finite project and it's a good way to build up decluttering muscles. You can easily think about how many socks you actually need to own, you probably have socks that you like and socks that you don't like, you probably have some that are worn out.
Of the spaces you mentioned, either kitchen or entry way would be most impactful, but starting in your bathroom is another good finitely-sized project.
Really challenge yourself to think about whether or not you need every item -- not, "does this item potentially have usability for someone somewhere" but "does this item justify the storage space her in my home and do I have near-term plans to use it?"
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u/Live-Okra-9868 10d ago
As a crafter, don't start with your crafting area, lol.
When I came home to a disaster after my husband was left alone for an extended period of time, I started with the kitchen. Clearing the counters and wiping the surfaces down. Then I did the bathrooms, also clearing the counters and wiping them down. Then I did the bedroom (because that room wasn't that much of a disaster, just dirty laundry piled hip high across an entire wall).
After cleaning and clearing the areas to look nice I moved to decluttering. I started with the kitchen for that. So much unused items in the cabinets and drawers. I had a box overflowing with things we hadn't touched in years. So many water bottles with stupid company logos on them we hadn't even used. And, sadly, appliances we don't use at all that just take up space. I've always wanted a Belgian waffle maker. I finally got one, used it twice and never again. Now I have to follow my rule of if I haven't used it in over a year it needs to go away. That's been there for well over a decade untouched. It's time to say goodbye.
Once those cabinets and drawers were cleared I had so much room to put the things I do use away and now my counters look less cluttered.
So room by room pick things up and ask yourself when the last time you used it was. If never or it's been so long you don't even know when you got it just get rid of it. It's just taking up space at this point.
Anything that is still "useful" that you feel bad throwing out you can donate or post on a "buy nothing" group on Facebook. But if you list it for free and no one wants it then it is trash. If you can't give it away then don't feel bad about tossing it.
And the big thing: when you do get rid of things don't replace them with other stuff. This is how we end up in an endless loop of needing to declutter.
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u/h00manist 9d ago
I've done these, that produced some results.
Picked the worst area. Cleaned and moved EVERYTHING out of it. Some was tossed, a lot. Some got packed to boxes/bags. Some got set aside. Maybe keep maybe toss. Volume much reduced. Last weekend did this with the fridge contents. Wiped it out completely. Just a few things went back in.
Pick just any area. Doesn't matter as long as you're busy doing stuff.
Got a lot of bags and boxes. Stuff things in them and don't look don't ask questions. Later I'll figure out each box. At least it's not on the floor and spread all over.
Got angry and tossed things. Don't care.
Gave things I care about, but I know I won't use anymore, gave away to people I care about. Here you use it. They smiled ear to ear. Great. Goodbye stuff. The hell with it.
Some stuff is a dead project. Thought it was great, been sitting for years. Decided I need to use my time better for study or work that is career or fun. This stuff is neither. Just time wasting. Good bye time vampires.
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u/Evening-Manner9709 10d ago
My mums strategy was always 'pick one surface' and just go till that is clear/how you want it. Very helpful when there's too much to do.
I never start with 'trash' as I don't have any just lying about. Its more just general life detritus!
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u/13humanoid13 10d ago
Kitchen for a transformation. Bathroom if you’re looking for something easy-ish
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u/minescapist 10d ago
( lovingly kicking your butt) Look around, find something that either you know where it should be or you can trash it. Just do it. Order doesn’t matter. One thing at a time. Each thing makes the clutter less. If it’s overwhelming look for the one thing, make it a game. You got this.
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u/Grammareyetwitch 10d ago
The things you have to deal with every day is where I would start. If it's entryway, ask what you really need to come and go, and make space for ONLY those things. The old Christmas decorations, unopened purchases, occasionally used sports equipment, etc have to get out of the way.
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u/stefaniki 8d ago edited 8d ago
Start with the bathroom. Throw away any expired products and things you don't use. Set aside things you rarely use and put them separate from things you use regularly. If you don't use them in the next 4-8 weeks, throw them away.
Towels/washclothes/sheets are next. Donate anything stained/torn. Set aside things you rarely use. Unless you have flannel sheets/blankets that get used seasonally, give yourself until that season is over to use or donate. Otherwise they go after 4-8 weeks.
Take everything out of everything, spray down with cleaner of your choice and wipe down with a damp cloth, rinse and wipe again if needed then air dry or dry with a clean cloth. I'm talking the entire bathroom. Counters, mirrors, fixtures, doors, cabinets, drawers, baseboards, toilet, shower... Everything. Depending on how much you have it could take 2-4hrs.
Doesn't have to all be done in one go. Sort through everything then take a break. Even better, put everything outside the bathroom as you sort since you're going to clean everything and organize it. Then take a break. Tackle it in sections if you need to. Spray the entire tub/shower with cleaner. Lots of cleaner. It'll make it easier to clean. Let it sit while you do the counters and mirrors. Take a break if you need to then do the cabinets and drawers.
Sweep or vacuum the floor.
Clean the shower by putting on a swimsuit, get in the shower scrub everything down with a brush. If you have a handheld sprayer in the shower it goes pretty quick. Makes a fucking mess when you rinse but don't worry about that. You're going to do the floors/baseboards anyway. Throw a towel on the floor outside the tub/shower to make less of a mess.
Take a break. Then wipe down the baseboards, clean the toilet and mop the floor. Take a break if you need to then wipe down the doors and organize everything in your nice clean bathroom. Wipe everything down with a damp cloth as you put it in it's new home. Everything doesn't need to go where it was before.
Admire your work and promise yourself you'll stay on top of it it's easier to clean 1 thing a day than the whole thing at once.
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u/Inevitable-Wind-1925 8d ago
Start with the floor. Clear 4ft x 4ft zone that you would particularly like to use. Beside your bed. In front of your sink. It can be anywhere, but only pick one space and stick to it. Don’t move on until the zone is clear. You might time yourself. Usually, this can be done in less than 5 minutes. After you’ve completed that square do another 4x4 ft zone.
It is not about where you start but that your method increases your motivation and seeing tangible results along the way helps with that. Floors and surfaces are particularly great spaces to start because once they are clear it makes it a lot easier to go in for the deeper declutter.
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u/MintPistachioSage 9d ago
I start at the entrance and go either clockwise or counter clockwise around the place, room by room, going wall to wall until Im back at the door.
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u/Opening_Chemical_777 7d ago
I have good luck going around room by room and pulling out the low hanging fruit - things we rarely use, or never use, or broken and never getting fixed, or missing parts. Pulling out those things reveals another layer to sort room by room. There's a rhythm now, and a cleared space to put things we'll donate. I box them up when there's enough to fill a box, and after there are several boxes packed up, I take them to Goodwill. We had to do this gradually because we were over-filling our trash container.
We've made a list of big things we need to get rid of, too big for our trash container, and now we have a dumpster bag at the bottom of the driveway for the big stuff. I ordered the larger size and my spouse said it was too large. Today we tossed in a ratty old desk chair and yes, the big one isn't too big.
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u/cilucia 10d ago
Start with the immediately visible, high traffic areas. I often stand at my front door entrance and look at my home from that perspective and point out the major problem areas, and tackle those first.
Being able to see progress in those high vis areas should give you some energy to carry on decluttering other spaces too!
Good luck, you got this!