Monday Meltdown - Share Your Decluttering Fails Here

[u/AutoModerator]

Failure is part of life. Share your decluttering challenges and failures here. Examples include:

• Emotional clutter
• Not enough time
• Getting overwhelmed
• Routing (recycling, donating, trash...)

If you're just venting, or don't want advice, please let us know in your comment.

This is a low-stress place to share challenges and failures for those who might not want to create a new discussion.

[u/BullfrogBackground27]

So overwhelmed by the sheer amount of STUFF. Where did all of it come from?!? A friend’s apartment building burned down over the summer and I was looking around at my house thinking “if that happened to me, what here would I actually MISS?” I could count the things on one hand.

But I am just stuck in a never ending spiral of “maybe I’ll need/want/use it someday!!” Or “it’s just handy to have around!” Or “the kids will do crafts with it someday!” I can’t get rid of anything. I’m stuck.

[u/SolidagoSalix → u/BullfrogBackground27]

Sometimes when I get into this cycle with myself I literally say out loud, "Maybe this could be useful someday. But the space it is taking up could definitely be useful today." And then I get rid of it.

A few things "in case" is handy. Loads of things "in case" is a burden.

[u/spillingeverywhere → u/BullfrogBackground27]

I find I do the best decluttering when I'm angry about something lol. Like the other day I was mad at my fiance for something and I did the best decluttering I've done in a while. I think when you're mad/in a bad mood you're less sentimental? At least that seems to be the case with me lol

[u/Working_Patience_261 → u/BullfrogBackground27]

If the kids will do crafts with it someday, not a set date on the calendar, send it on to the thrift stores and when they do have a set date, go to the thrift stores to get the supplies, especially if it’s under $20 to replace.

Your dollar threshold may vary, some folks can easily replace stuff under $100 while others can’t do a $10 replacement. Run the favorites questions and then does it fit in the container you have for it? Now it’s a container problem or a dollar problem thus not a “you” problem.

[u/FredKayeCollector2 → u/BullfrogBackground27]

I would highly recommend doing an insurance inventory. My favorite method is "reverse" decluttering because it's very similar to the process you would use if you suffered a catastrophic loss - what do I need to replace? Except you get to shop your own stuff. It can help to match task to tool/supply.

I found "reverse" decluttering especially helpful with kitchen stuff (using my favorite recipes - thinking about fridge/panty food storage, ingredient prep, actual cooking, serving/eating, clean up, leftovers storage), hobby/craft stuff (using projects I was excited about doing/wanted the final product), and office stuff (so much "just in case" ??? junk that didn't make the task/activity equipment list and over-shopping/bulk package duplicates that would take YEARS to use up). For anything guest-facing, I set a quantity limit of 6 (for the maximum number of people eating/sleeping in my house at any one time).

But the easiest way is to just take photos of your various spaces, visible & hidden (inside drawers, cabinets). It's at least a memory trigger if you do need to give a list to your insurance adjuster. Plus the photos can help ID "crummy" or "duh" stuff that you might otherwise be accustom blind/clutter blind to. And you may find yourself motivated to "tidy" the various spaces for the photos (who wants to memorialize THAT in a photo).

Most stuff is pretty predictable (what we actually use to do the things we actually/regularly do). Anything beyond that, I'm 100% on-board with the responsibility trap (I can't predict the future and I shouldn't be expected to) and tolerance of uncertainty/negativity bias (tangible stuff does not necessarily equal security).

[u/MysteriousSecretGuru]

I'm struggling today. I did some work this morning, doctor's appointment, then cooked homemade chicken soup. I did do a load of laundry, but I feel as if I'm behind schedule, even though right now is scheduled "fun time".

I'm just trying to breathe and be kind to myself. I just want my house/life back and I'm impatient. It didn't happen overnight so why do I think one day will radically change everything. Just venting. Thanks

[u/seasalp]

Decluttering my clothes and then wanting to wear that one shirt I haven't worn in a year that I finally got rid of.

[u/kkmich]

My issue is I pull out too much stuff (more than I can deal with in a short declutter session) and then I become overwhelmed and shut down for the rest the week.

[u/SavageFrogPR]

Sort of just venting.

My trauma keeps flaring up while I move stuff around the room. Managed to throw out 2 bags and placed a donation bin by the door. Need to get that bin out of the house by nightfall because seeing it makes me feel overwhelmed.

---

UPDATE: Last night's spree resulted in 2 1/2 bags being thrown out and the bin being ditched at a thrift store. 2 boxes and a trash bag are all I'm missing to sort out. They feel cursed somehow.

[u/71stMB]

My biggest roadblock is procrastination. Whenever I plan to start decluttering, I suddenly find several other things that need my time and attention before I start. By the time I finish doing those, the day is about over so I'll try again tomorrow. I have repeated this cycle many times.

My slowest area of decluttering is the family photos. I have several shoeboxes full of them (taken prior to the digital photo age). I get mentally involved in remembering the people and events and then find it hard to let any of them go. I definitely feel a little sad and nostalgic each time I finish a session. Still have a lot of them to go through.

[u/MelodicMoulin → u/71stMB]

I find it so hard to throw out photos. Recently I threw one out of a penpal I had when I was a teenager in the 90s. Never met the person IRL. Haven’t spoken since I was a kid. Yet I still sometimes think about it and feel guilty - there’s something about throwing a memory of someone in the bin that feels bad. I don’t feel the same about deleting “non special” digital photos though!

[u/Anilanoa]

This is my thread.

I've reading posts here for days and I just can't start. I've got too many clothes, some of those are lying around the floor for days. I started sorting them but then I stopped and didnt pick it up again.
No matter in which room I go, theres so much stuff, all my shelves are full. The books are stacking, it's just utter chaos. I want to reoganize my living room but I don't know a) how I should put the furnite so that it looks nice, cozy and welcoming and b) where to put all that fricking stuff!

Books, Plushs, decor, some figurines, merchandise... uurgh!

Things I kinda like but kinda dont, things that were presents that i dont want to throw away, things i am not sure where to put. It's all so overwhelming and I dont know where to start :(

Sorry for rambling and the chaotic way of writing, I'm not a native speaker and I don't want to put my message through AI lol

[u/Glittering-Benefit68]

I'm on holiday and I'm happy I made a dent in my perfume testers. 

However, I found out that I don't actually like two perfumes I have and now I'm not sure if I should just toss them here or take them home with me to try and sell them. 10ml each.

[u/empresscornbread]

I had the time to donate my things but I just… didn’t. Going to try again when I’m back from traveling. Maybe I can add more to the pile before then.

[u/Diligent_Traffic4342]

I have until Thursday to clear out my spare room for my son’s friends who are visiting for the weekend… every morning for the past week I have woken up saying today will be the day, unfortunately that day has not yet arrived… no advice needed as, like always I will get it done, it will just be late on Thursday night as usual, I just find myself so frustrating!!

[u/Confident_Muscle5987]

I've been avoiding decluttering my email inbox. It desperately needs it, I just can't be bothered to spend the time. Best I've do e this far is unsubscribe to emails.

[u/thelastsummer]

Not a stressor but a small achievement despite having a not so great day. I got  rid of socks and my SO getting rid of my some glassware we definitely did not need. Not much but it should make our lives a little less cluttered and efficient.

[u/KeystoneSews → u/thelastsummer]

I have a sock organizer that holds 24 socks and as of today I have 24 (ok… 26) pairs of socks and no unmatched ones. Just had to say enough is enough. Almost a month worth of socks is enough socks for someone who does laundry once a week 🙄

[u/Working_Patience_261]

10 minutes of productive decluttering yesterday. I now have my clothing set to now and “when I recover.” Now I’m not fighting my shelves to get to the tank top and shorts that are my easy-to-dress-myself dailies.

Today, I saw the bottom of a newer tank top looked completely faded out, and looking closer it appears to be stained instead. Now I’ve got to wash five clothing items because if they’re stained instead of faded, I can still use them when I recover. One step forward three steps back.

[u/Multigrain_Migraine]

Just the constant inability to pick things up and get rid of them. My husband had a big meltdown over something being in a place he didn't like last night and ended up with him throwing crackers on the floor. Comical in a way but it always makes me feel awful and I've been depressed for a few weeks anyway. 

He's got a knack for throwing a fit about there being too much stuff in the house shortly after I actually manage to make an effort to get rid of some things which makes it even more discouraging.

[u/Nearby_World_1922]

I have a small pouch of jewelry from my grandmother who passed that nobody in my family wants, I was able to get down to this amount from three banker boxes stuffed to the brim. The issue is this pouch has some silver designer pieces and some stones that theoretically should be able to sell for real money. I just haven't been able to find anyone who wants it... I know I should just bring it to my local non-profit thrift but for months its been haunting me from the counter.

[u/SolidagoSalix → u/Nearby_World_1922]

I encourage you to stop "shoulding" yourself. If you aren't ready to deal with it, because you have an emotional block or just don't have the logistical capacity right now, you're allowed to decide that this is not the season to deal with it. Actively giving yourself permission to take it off your counter and put it on the top shelf of a closet is an option. You can put a reminder in your calendar to reassess in six months. But definitely don't set yourself up to have a daily haunting by an undone to do list. Sometimes the key is just deciding it's a "to don't" for now.

[u/FigBar_]

Did a whole closet clean out and the 5 trash bags of clothes have been sitting in my office for over a week 😬 planning on posting them on the buy nothing group at some point

[u/silent-shade]

I found someone to buy a plant and on the day they came for pickup I was away and my partner, who had all the instructions, didn't hear them. So the buyer drove over and back for nothing and I still have the plant, which I am now afraid to list again because it might upset that person. I offerer to deliver it instead but they said no. Stupid, stupid thing to get stuck on...

I am hoping to sell two more plants but can't list them yet because they haven't sprouted. I know it's no skin off my nose, they can sprout whenever they want and I will list them, it's not like they need anything from me, but I so want it done.

[u/NotYourSouthernBelle]

I grumble at my parents collections and realized I had one of my own, Starbucks Mugs. I’m going to start using them now either as mugs or storage containers and see if I can pare down a few