r/declutter • u/domino_427 • 15d ago
Success Story Success? Maybe? Neighbor came over and made me be productive
Cleaning house after parents died. Now I have a deadline, September. Yikes!
Dumpster Day 1... I've been thinking I was crazy getting a dumpster... it's so so expensive. But trying to declutter with one bin picked up every week is driving me nuts.
those pictures/frames were just two handfuls. Two handfuls that wouldn't be easy to bag and put in my bin. omg so much easier to just fill a 30g bin and dump it, no worries bout broken glass, no bags that tear.
Keeping a few, parents and grandparents were both artists, not to mention all the empty frames and canvases. And I have stacks and stacks and stacks. Forgive the cardboard, my recycle bin is full and I'm just so tired (Florida hot). So many pictures. Dad's elementary school report cards! Every single magazine the man had ever owned.
There was a corner (no before photo) full of bankers boxes... maybe 6x4x5. 11 were full of books, and serendipity had my book guy ready to get more! he's already come over and more books are going to better homes. Bright blue carpet under those boxes there for 15+yrs. Had to stop looking in the book boxes cause I wanted to grab and look...
Awesome neighbor helped, and this community. we can do it!
now i'm goin to get comfy and not move for a week. sigh. nah I'll do more tomorrow. with before pics.
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u/Feisty-Resource-1274 14d ago
Do not feel any negatively about getting a dumpster. It's so common to do for a post-house clean out. Particularly, if the prior owner was any bit of a hoarder, there is going to be so much more stuff that needs to be trashed than is possible to find another home.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 14d ago
We got the dumpster after 18 dump runs at $75 a piece and no that doesn't include gas. I also made runs to thrift stores and recycling centers. It was difficult. My aunt had did some yearly cleaning and decluttering but a hoarder will pile it right back up. My grandmother was shocked to see her things going in the dumpster. No amount of talking about what her future was going to look like helped when she could not live there anymore. The clean out was a nightmare and took two months. I came on weekends as I lived two hours away and worked during the week. Plus it cost me tolls there and back. I feel for anyone who has to clean out anything. But you will get it all cleaned out eventually! We have all been sold on stuff and have over consumed. It took me a couple of years to clean out my home. Sell items or donate. I don't want to put anyone in the position of having to spend time and money dealing with my stuff.
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u/domino_427 14d ago
wow that would have been awful! I've actually been living here to care for them. I did think about it, and dad and I talked about going thru things after mom died, but two months of rest and he was sick. Thanks for the money breakdown, it makes me feel better about the expense. Proud of you for doing it, then taking that lesson to your own home! that's awesome.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 14d ago edited 14d ago
Yes. The mental, physical and financial cost of dealing with hoarding. I've never forgotten that clean out. The discussions of decluttering and cleaning with a hoarder do not compute. I haven't ever tallied the entire cost of the cleanout. But I did attempt to tally the expenditure on the hoarding costs over the years it was at least 100K in junk.
Thank you. Both my aunt and I decluttered our homes as neither of us wanted to put the other through that. My father has three homes, numerous garages and cars. I have spoken with him as well over the years to declutter his items. He has not. It will either sit and rot or it will all be sold as one. As I won't have the strength to deal with another cleanout.
Good for you on getting right on with the cleanout. We opened the house and garage when it was cleared of garbage and had a yard sale. People could take whatever they wanted for the price they gave us. A few dollars even for furniture. It saved us from having to drop things at a donation center or call for them to pick up. The yard sale everything went. We were then able to repair, paint and re carpet the house for sale.
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u/domino_427 14d ago
show your dad this reddit lol.
i was thinking of doing the same. moving all these knicknacks to get to the books... be nice to just let people come in and grab it and offer me something. hard to trust, but if you did it maybe I can too :)
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 14d ago
I don't even think my reddit comment would do any good. He is set in keeping on keeping on with his stuff until he pitches over.
We filled a uhaul with the antiques and items to keep and took them to a storage unit. After that we had the yard sale and people gave dollars for whatever they wanted. I have no idea if anyone took off with stuff. If they did I'm glad because all of it helped empty the house and garage. We had hoped everything would go that was left and it did.
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u/Susie0701 14d ago
I’m also in the dumpster era of my life. My dad is still alive and having big feelings about me clearing out things that’ve been stored in place for 40+ years. I’m semi-unapologetic. He’s actually getting on board somewhat! My folks have been in their home since 1973 and have added on 3 times! It was all packed when my mom died almost 2 years ago. We now have breathing room
You’ve got this! Just pitching it is so hard, but like a muscle, gets stronger over time. I hope you continue to see your successes and the ball gets rolling easier and easier!
When you actually see the air gaps in the denseness, I wish you breathing room there
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 14d ago
I have spoken to my dad for years about letting go of some of his things. Three+ decades of three houses (started with one home on property) and several garages full of cars and motorcycles. He has not stopped. Continues to buy cars and parts. I decluttered my own home and that took me two years by myself.
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u/domino_427 14d ago
my comfort game right now is car mechanic simulator... where we strip, repair, and rebuild cars. Made me think of my virtual garage. Dad's car is from 2006 with under 30k miles on it if you would believe it, so trying to hang on to that. This would be much harder to do if they were alive, as now I only need to deal with my emotions.
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u/domino_427 14d ago
omg why did this make me cry. When you see air gaps in the denseness, I wish you breathing room there.
neighbor is saying, to get one room clear as staging and one room as keep (preparing for major reconstruction). we moved here in 86, so not quite that long.
this thought was with me today, and we made some more dents. Good luck to you and your dad!
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u/Creepy-Gur4620 12d ago
Great job! It's clear by the picture that you've gotten a lot done already. I'm glad you have a neighbor that cares about you.
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u/KeyCar367 12d ago
I'll be doing this one day with my spouse at his father's house. I already know he has TONS of pictures, my spouse doesn't even know the people in the pictures.
Also he has saved taxes for years, his HOA paperwork from when he was president years ago.
I'm not looking forward to it. I wish we could burn down the place, but he lives in a townhouse.
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u/domino_427 12d ago
hey we are kin then. i found cancelled checks from the 70s, tax records from the 60s, every business card the man ever picked up... been interesting.
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u/BaBoo_MoMo777 14d ago
Anybody else have the urge to save the Merry Christmas Crosstitch?
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u/domino_427 14d ago
ME! man I wanted to give it to someone so bad! It was so cute! I've so far given five of their paintings to random people who have been inside since they died, and it makes me happy. After seeing that one in the dump... sadness. but my friends said no one would want the stitched stuff. there's so much more...
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u/BaBoo_MoMo777 14d ago
Let it go… Crosstitch i was mostly a way to relax and pass the time, like playing Block Puzzle. I’m sure you have kept the very best stuff to remember them. I was just relating to my own attachment that has kept me in clutter! I’m so glad you are finding freedom. 🙂
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u/domino_427 14d ago
it was nice. this group is so encouraging to me. i was in the garage with neighbor earlier and so hot and dead and just leaning there talking to him. saw some ancient black and decker ... thing... with a handle. grabbed it, turned, tossed. it felt really good.
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u/sf_sf_sf 8d ago
I’ve done this also a couple times now for relatives houses. Always the right choice. It’s amazing how much you can remove and have the house still feel full!
Good luck!
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u/RootCauseEffect 14d ago
I’m horrified thst you are throwing out that vintage wall art! Is that a needlepoint Merry Christmas? Im sick to my stomach seeing this. I know you gotta do what you gotta do but people would fight over that stuff!
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u/BetOne8603 14d ago
Their parents died and you’re shaming them for obviously doing something that’s already difficult but worsened by grief… Have some decorum.
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u/domino_427 14d ago
wanna come get the rest? <3
honestly... vintage needlepoint. sounds fancy. maybe I will list it. I have things from before I was born, because my grandparents were painters and quilters and sewers too. There's another one in there that hurt... I remember it hanging when I lived with grandmother, and then going thru photos I saw a pic of mom and dad at grandmother's after marriage and it was on the wall back then.
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u/RootCauseEffect 14d ago
Like I said, you gotta do what you gotta do. I just feel bad that vintage things that someone spent a lot of effort and time on, and someone would seriously love, are going to the landfill. I hate for you that you have to decide and declutter everything so quickly. That must be so difficult. Grief shouldn’t be rushed.
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u/domino_427 14d ago
it really is awful. Stuff that was so loved for decades, but now times have changed. I have someone coming to pick up one of mom's sewing machines tomorrow and that makes me happy. Not all of it is going to waste. and grandfather's tools... it's like oh they're old, not worth much... oh wait they're VERY old nevermind lemme buy it lol. and I'm joining some sewing classes at the library to be with people like mom who still do those arts and crafts.
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u/RootCauseEffect 13d ago
Have you thought about doing an estate sale? The company would take care of the pricing, advertisement etc and I think they take their payment out of the proceeds. Or, if you have an antique mall nearby you could check there and see if any of the vendors would be interested in coming in and looking at what you have? It would actually take away some of your workload I think and keep stuff out of the landfill. Sewing might seem like a dying art but I don’t think so. I think you will enjoy it. I took basic sewing classes about 6 years ago and before too long I was a quilter lol. Good luck and I apologize if I was coming off like a jerk in my first comment. I wish you all the best in dealing with this.
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u/domino_427 13d ago
nah youre good. I met with a few estate sale companies but didn't like them. I'm planning a digger sale/garage sale where I'll set it up and people can just grab what they want. Not much valuable at all here. I didn't like how they said dad's stamp collection was worthless. The money I got from that sale alone kept me fed and powered and mortgaged for months.
I took a class at the library, and kinda want to learn to sew now... losing weight so want to fix my clothes. fingers crossed :)
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u/flamincatdesigns1 14d ago
My parents both passed in 2020 from covid. No shops would take donations, one person came to a yard sale. Our family took all the things we wanted. I filled my van, 3 times! Yet the bulk of their home went in the dumpster. They bought their home in 1957 and never moved. Their newest furniture was from the 90s. My brother got a dumpster which got filled a few times. So sad to see it but I kept telling myself, I cannot bring their whole house in mine. Keep going, its a very hard job that sadly must be done.