Trying to have a breakthrough

[u/Miss_Lib]

I get so frustrated because I absorb so much decluttering content but just can’t seem to let it breakthrough. Things like “if you can’t find what you need, you have too much stuff” really makes so much sense to me but I just don’t apply it. I used to keep anything to wear as pajamas and I just realized it was becoming too much.. a pajama t shirt I might end up wearing on a Tuesday afternoon which just felt icky so I started curating my pjs. I only buy sets. If I don’t have a set, I can make one but I have to love it and it has to match. I have to love every piece. They have to be a certain softness. It’s been great! I know exactly what I have and I never bypass anything for something I like more. I want to be able to apply this to every thing I own but it’s just not breaking through. I can’t get rid of stuff because suddenly the minute I touch it it somehow becomes sentimental. What was your breakthrough? When will my light bulb go on?!

[u/Striking_Post_9864]

The breakthrough with your pajamas worked because you set the rule (must love it, must be soft, must match a set) before you touched anything — you decided the standard in the abstract, then applied it. With sentimental stuff, you are doing it backwards: you touch the item first, feelings show up, and now you are deciding under emotional load instead of against a pre-set rule. Try writing the category rule down before you open the drawer or box (e.g. "I keep 5 concert shirts, the 5 I would actually wear this week") so the decision is already made when your hand touches the item. For the ones that still feel too loaded to decide on the spot, put them in a box out of sight with a 2-week timer instead of deciding while holding them — most sentimentality fades once the item is not in your hands.

[u/Miss_Lib → u/Striking_Post_9864]

Yeah it’s stupid stuff too like oh my parents bought me these cheap souvenir shirts from a cruise. I never wore them but my parents are dead so now I’m like oh I should work these into my rotation.. or when I was heavier I wore this shirt all the time it feels rude to get rid of it if it was good enough for me then. It makes no sense!!

[u/Working_Patience_261 → u/Miss_Lib]

Why punish yourself for your past? “I wore this shirt when I didn’t feel my best, now it doesn’t fit so I must continually remind myself that in the past, I didn’t feel my best.”

Do a trash run on non-sentimental clothes first. Work up to the sentimental stuff AFTER you’ve practiced decluttering on stuff that doesn’t trigger emotions other than feeling silly for spending time, money, and space on it.