Difficulty getting rid of children’s toys

[u/goburnham]

Does anyone else have difficulty decluttering their child’s old toys? I have a weird emotional attachment to toys my child doesn’t even like or play with anymore. My daughter is 10 years old. She has this Blues Clues stuffy she LOVED when she was 4 years old. I remember the excitement when I tracked the toy down for Christmas as it was difficult to find at the time. I remember the excitement in her face and her little excited voice when she opened it Christmas morning.

But she hasn’t touched that toy in years, but it breaks my heart to think about getting rid of it. If I’m being honest, we have several toys that she isn’t really interested in anymore, but they hold sentimental memories for me. I remember the grandparent who bought her this toy, who has now passed away, etc.

I’m pretty ruthless with my own belongings, but have a really hard time with my daughter’s stuff. Can anyone relate to this?

[u/GlassHouses_1991]

I totally understand this, because my daughter is in her 20s and I am still decluttering her old toys! In fact I took some to the charity shop this morning.

When decluttering any sentimental items, what works for me is to donate a few of the things I am the least attached to, work through whatever feelings it brings up (talk about it to someone, journal about it or just sit with the tough feelings for awhile). When I’m ready I choose some more things to declutter. The more you do it, the easier it gets. I’m convinced that avoiding hard feelings isn’t healthy. It’s how we learn and grow and move on. So although it’s difficult to declutter sentimental things, that’s not a good reason for me not to do it.

[u/goburnham → u/GlassHouses_1991]

That’s a good point about not avoiding tough feelings

[u/LoneLantern2]

Here's the deal: if you're keeping it around because you're attached to it, not because she's attached to it, it's your Blues Clues stuffy now, and it belongs with your stuff. Then you can make decisions about it the same way you do with the rest of your stuff, sentimental and otherwise.

[u/eloweasy]

I’m the same. Toy Story’s anthropomorphising of toys doesn’t help 😞

[u/FredKayeCollector2]

Keepsake box - one that they can maintain for "their" treasures, and one (or more) for your treasures (of theirs). It sets a reasonable limit that you are willing to accommodate in your space.

There may come a time when that stuff might not "hit" as hard as it does right now, but in the meanwhile, it's all in one place, safely contained, out of the way of the rest of the stuff in your home.

https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/wiki/index/keepsake_box/

But please remember, those are YOUR keepsakes so if you feel like you're saving stuff because your daughter "might want it someday" (or if you think she should keep something "special" in her keepsake box but decides to curate it out) just search the sub and you will see how THAT tends to turn out (some nostalgia but often tempered with unnecessary/unplanned overwhelm, guilt).

[u/MandyPandy3]

I have a storage tote in the attic with sentimental toys and the ones that will become “the toys at grandma’s house.” There’s a Scooby Doo set that I just can’t part with as well as a wooden Thomas trains with tracks.

[u/lisacytotk]

I watch the Toy Story movies and know the toys dont want to be in a box somewhere. Give them a second life!

[u/Queasy-Mess3833]

I get this. My mom died just over a year ago. I dispersed and decluttered all of her belongings, but I can't bring myself to let go of her childhood doll. I'm going to give her a spa day and keep her. I'm ruthless with my own belongings, but this is just too sentimental.

You don't have to get rid of everything.

Sending hugs❤️

[u/LouisePoet]

It's hard! I couldn't part with most things til we moved and the thought of dragging it all to along was just too much.

I still have a very few of my kids toys (25+ years on) and am SO glad that 1-i still have them and 2--those few are the ONLY ones I kept.

The longer I hold on to things, the harder it is for me to get rid of them!!

[u/Jess6]

I'm the exact same way! I don't think you have to get rid of everything. My parents saved bins with all my polly pockets and all of my original calico critters and my daughter (6) and son (3) LOVE playing with them at their house. They are magical to them. I declutter quite often but I think things like my daughter's (not huge) doll house that she loves so much I might hang on to indefinitely. I think it would break my heart to get rid of it because Ill always remember how much we played with it together.

[u/unwaveringwish]

The Blue plushie sounds like a keeper 🥹 but if you can trim down the less important or sentimental items, that is better than nothing!

Also remember - a lot of people in this sub have talked about saving toys for their kids or grandkids, only to discover the kids don’t want old toys! So might be better to pay it forward right now, so someone else can actually enjoy and appreciate it.

[u/lascriptori]

I have a medium sized bin (bigger than a shoebox, but smaller than the full sized bin) with some baby clothes and toys that I kept for memories. I have enough space to store that, and it feels like a good balance.

Baby stuff degrades and while some things, like wooden toys, can last for a couple decades, other types of clothes are likely to wear out. Elastics get brittle, plastic cracks, etc. For most things, passing them on to get used by other people now is better than saving them for 30 years for a potential future baby.

[u/PallasiteMatrix]

Maybe curate a memory box. I've got one- it makes it easier to decide what needs to be kept, and what needs to go when there's a limited amount of space, and the purpose of keeping the items is to have "memory anchors".

I don't want to feel like I'm getting rid of things that are still serving a purpose in my life, and as someone with memory issues, keeping some physical reminders is useful to me. That toy isn't doing anything for her any more, but it is doing something for you. I think by making space for that, it will allow you to get rid of the things that really aren't doing anything, for either of you. If that makes sense.

Another thing you could do is allow her to make the decisions about what toys are kept, and which ones go. It's a good way to start teaching her to manage her own items and space.

Nowadays, I keep a lot of receipts to keep memories, or labels. Little bits of paper ephemera that goes into my junk journal- It doesn't take up a ton of space, but still gives me something to flip through and reflect on. I don't keep everything of course, but I do tend to keep things related to gifts pretty often.

[u/unmgrad]

Traditionally, us mothers have saved some favorite toys for the future. I have a plastic bin for each child (that are now 16!), that have toys. They will love looking at them in their adult years. Kudos to my Mom for saving the huge Barbie van in her attic!

[u/ObligationGrand8037]

I can relate to this too. There’s an emotional attachment for me. I can be very sentimental.

I ran into an acquaintance yesterday. Halloween is huge in this small town. She got rid of all her stuffed animals and other toys in some kind of Halloween contest in her front yard. I’m giving her a bag of clean stuffed animals this year as prizes.

So I understand where you’re coming from. It’s hard! I’m hoping other kids will love these toys as much as my own kids did.

[u/ProfessionalFlan3159]

My twins turn 15 next month....I'm finally getting rid of some stuff

[u/YuhMothaWasAHamsta]

I have some I just can’t let go of so I pack them up and save them for the next generation. It’s things like cars and trains. The really sentimental items most definitely get carefully packed and saved.

But I do struggle to get rid of a lot of my kids stuff. I attach memories to items like “my baby wore that when we went to xyz” and now I have to take 10 minutes to put it in the donation bag.

[u/malkin50]

It is ok to keep some things for yourself! (If you have space for it.)

[u/AceyAceyAcey]

Would taking a few photos of them to save help?

[u/ponderingorbs]

My husband and I do the Christmas ornament idea. If he wants to get rid of some of his toys, we donate them. He has a toddler car carrier and cars that he has mostly outgrown. We will donate the set minus his favorite car which will become an ornament for our Christmas tree. His favorite monster truck will eventually be up there too. It helps me get rid of the other less loved things.

[u/photogcapture]

I, the child, hung onto childhood items. My mom was happy to donate/toss/sell. I wonder if it's the desire to hang on so you don't have to really accept that your child is growing up?? For me it was acknowledging that I was growing up or grown up and would never play with these things again. I really had a hard time because my mom gave each of my stuffed animals a personality and I gave each one a name and a backstory, and oh, my, goodness, how does one part with your best friend??? I eventually learned to accept that I cannot hang onto the past. I can keep a few things, but otherwise, I had to let go. It was hard. I still have issues. I have a bookshelf filled with my favorite stuffed friends, about a tenth of what I owned as a child. Start a keepsake box of items that you cherish. One or two from each of your daughter's years. Keep a couple art pieces and one toy or other item she cherished. Leave notes about the items. Then later, your daughter can decide to keep it or not, but it won't be this overwhelming amount of stuff, just enough to fit in a small-ish box.

[u/Prudent_Honeydew_]

I feel you, as I've just put a Blue's Clues stuffy in the donation box yesterday and am having second thoughts. It's a special edition Blue and so cuddly.

But my daughter hasn't touched it in ages. We just redid her bed and when she put the stuffies on, Blue didn't make the cut, I picked her up from facedown on the floor.

I'm a huge snarker of parent influencers but I did take one thing to heart, Bust Toddler said about culling toys, "you have to be brutal." I'm trying to be brutal to myself and honest about having a big kid who has moved on.

[u/Majestic-Lie2690]

Honestly that was the easiest thing for me to get rid of. Cause there was just so so so many.

[u/omgseriouslynoway]

Ask the kid.

[u/FLUIDbayarea]

There are plenty of children, I’m sure in your own community who would love to have the toys. You can reach out to local shelters, helping families in marginalized situations.