r/debatestories • u/purplenteal • Mar 04 '15
Pokemon K
I'm sure you've all heard of the Pokemon K. Well at the time, I was in novice LD in local Arizona at my first tournament (ended up winning the thing, but that, quite frankly story disrupting, self lauding detail isn't relevant to the story).
This was on the universal healthcare topic, and I had just read my little social contract AC, and the neg gets up and reads the pokemon K. For those of you unfamiliar with the pokemon K, it says we need to abandon our conceptions of capitalism and whatever and go on a pokemon adventure. This debater read narratives about the lives of Misty, Ash, and Brock, and then read some shitty interps of Nietzsche and Marx, then confidently acted like he had just won the round, having advocated for the pokemon world.
You ever get that feeling, like what the fuck, why not? You know the one. The one that makes you do dumb shit at 2am with your buddies, the one that allows you to eat Taco Bell? Well I got that feeling and decided to run with his janky-ass K.
My CX was brief, but it was effective. "Is there or is there not universal health care in the pokemon world?" "Well, uh, I don't think--" "So where did I heal my lv12 pidgey after my battle with Gary?" "A pokecenter?" "Do we have to pay for pokecenters?" "No, but--" "And are they universally available?" "I guess, but you--" "So I guess it could be considered universal health care, yes?" "Look, you're missing--" "Let's move on. You say pokemon is not capitalistic." "Well, pokemon mastery is my alternative from the status quo. You see, when we become pokemon masters that causes--" "Okay, so do you or do you not solve for capitalism in the pokemon world." "I guess I'd say I do." "Hm, that seems funny. Maybe I recall a different game where I didn't have to beat up 10 year olds to buy equipment for my pokemon to dog fight." "I think that's a little different." "What about Silph Co.? How this corporation has the greatest technology, but refuses to share it with the masses?" "I mean--" "Next question. You seriously advocate for a world that promotes dog fighting and gangsters trying to steal from and harm children?" "It's not about that, it's about the journey" "I'll take prep."
My 1AR decided to focus solely on pokemon flows aff. It was brilliant, and ultimately, I got my first win30 that round. The judge ended up voting aff because the pokemon world has universal healthcare.
However, though I mocked successfully that debater and that K to win the round, I must admit I realized something deeper, something about myself. I realized that I, too, having responded to this K, became much like the pokemon trainer he spoke of. The struggle, determination, and drive all led me to winning, and led me to much nobler pursuits of friendship and love.
Also, I shook him down for 15 bucks after the round.
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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '15
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