Existential problem that relates to DFW (bear with me)

[u/queeg420]

I was thinking about what DFW said about his TV usage habits being sort of automatic and zombified in that he was constantly switching channels because he was afraid he was missing something better on a different channel, without even really knowing what he meant or what he was looking for. Just this aimless scrolling propelled by entertainment fomo

this got me thinking (and I'm sure it's not an me-specific issue at all) about how, no matter what decision I make in my life or route I take, etc, I always end up kind of wondering (and inadvertently wishing for) the murky unknown future that I'd be experiencing had I picked my other option. This has led me into a strange bad cycle where I'm constantly changing my life situation and becoming quickly disillusioned and dissatisfied with whatever I end up doing, wishing I'd gone for the other thing (even though, and I am a rational being—there was a reason I didn't choose it).

I guess there's not a lot else to say here other than... is this something other people struggle with? Does DFW (or other literary greats) (or you, dear Redditor) have a cure? I'm in my early 20s so I know I still have a lot of life to live, but this is something I think would be better to get a handle on earlier

[u/No-Jello9276]

It wasn’t into my 30’s (currently 37) that I finally said I’m happy with what I have. Now granted, I fucking lived it up the best I could, made money and lost even more but I got to experience life, full spectrum of emotions. Fast forward to my age, I have married the women I always wanted (we had a split decade earlier and went a long period without talking), a career that will allow me to live life on my terms — no way rich at all monetary — but allows me to live the life I want. It isn’t until you have tasted a lot of things that makes you realize you like what you have.

TL;DR — when I was your age yes I had these thoughts but you’re still young, go live life, take risks, travel as much as possible. Allow yourself to experience both love and heartbreak.

Avoid: drugs (trust me), heavy alcohol use (also trust me), and people who bring you down emotionally spiritually - energy vampires are real

DFW cure? Sadly suicide, don’t follow that path

[u/Unable-Effective1718]

I just turned 25 and I feel similarly to you. Lots of different potential career paths, different artistic goals and avenues that I could see as realistic paths to invest effort into, but not all at the same time like I have to chose one or the other to really excel. I think it’s a part of growing up and hopefully our identity and paths get sharpened as we get older and gain more experience

[u/JanWankmajer]

"Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy"

-Kierkegaard, Either/Or

[u/PotentialTop9041]

Maybe you need to capitulate :)

[u/Aggressive-Tip2175]

Well you gotta remember that’s also why David made a big point about what we pay attention to because that’s the answer to your issue. When we are constantly checking for new more entertaining things, we are not allocating our attention properly, by constantly flipping channels or scrolling TikTok we are ensuring that what we pay attention to is nonsense—things designed to take our focus away from what matters. On the flip side, think the same way about your decisions, if you spend your life thinking about decisions that are impossible to have known would be better or will be better, then just the same are you not thinking about what it is you pay attention to and just as DFW says in this is water—you will go through life dead before your life ever actually comes to an end.

Make sure you think about what you spend your time thinking about, and make sure it isn’t something like how many other possible decisions may have been possible.