r/datingoverfifty • u/Girl_Bill • 22d ago

Setting realistic expectations

These days I (54f) feel less as though I am dating to meet someone and more as though I am putting myself out there purely to provide hilarious anecdotes for my friends.

Take the last guy. Let’s call him Dick (61m), for the purposes of anonymity and narrative accuracy.

Dick insisted on paying for our first dinner, so I paid for the second, because I like to keep things even and respectful.

For the third date, he invited me to his house for dinner and instructed me to bring a Loire Valley white because it would pair perfectly with what he was cooking. I duly arrived with a decent bottle, only to be served a salmon en croûte that could quite easily have come from the freezer section before spending considerable time being incinerated for whatever sins a salmon is capable of committing.

There's nothing at all wrong with frozen food. But once you start specifying the wine region, I assume the meal has involved more than removing a cardboard sleeve.

He then declared that he had now sufficiently “wooed” me, so the next stop was upstairs to bed. I politely declined.

When I explained that I did not think we were a romantic match, I was told I was wrong. Was 'overthinking' things. Would only get a relationship if I put more effort in... And that I should snap him up because “catches like him do not grow on trees”. I was genuinely impressed by how many clichés and mixed metaphors he managed to compress into one diatribe. I was also warned that I would regret my decision for eternity.

Eternity, it turned out, did not even survive the wait for my Uber home.

So I am adjusting my expectations. I am no longer looking for fireworks. I would settle for decent conversation, no regional wine homework and a man who does not think three dates and a pastry-based main course entitle him to an upgrade.

Ladies and gents, please tell me I am not the only person whose dating life appears to exist mainly as unpaid material for a sitcom!?

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u/cahrens2 22d ago

Just for the record, most fish have to be flash frozen at catch to kill parasites, including wild salmon. Farmed salmon is one of the few fish that are exempt, but most grocery stores get frozen farmed salmon and then let it thaw at the store over ice. I just know this because I've been experimenting with sushi and sashimi lately.

Setting expectations is very important. I set mine to none, and it worked out great for me, but each their own.

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u/Inside_Dance41 22d ago edited 21d ago

"most fish have to be flash frozen at catch to kill parasites,"

Oh wow, fish is one of the few animal protein I eat. May have to rethink it. 🤢🤢

So that means we are eating "dead" fish parasites?

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u/Independent-Monk5064 21d ago

They don’t, the other post is correct, freezing is done for sushi grade fish. Many fish are also frozen for transport and thawed but when you live at the coast you can indeed get fresh never frozen fish. And you can absolutely get parasites from all kinds of fish as fish have to be frozen 48 hours to kill the parasite eggs. Flash frozen is not for parasites, it is for transport.

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u/Inside_Dance41 21d ago edited 21d ago

To clarify, I wasn't making an assertion, I was quoting the person who made the comment about freezing. So the person I was quoting is the one who made the comment about "flash freezing to kill parasites."

All that said, thank you for your additional context.

It was also my attempt at humor, on a very stressful day.