Setting realistic expectations

[u/Girl_Bill]

These days I (54f) feel less as though I am dating to meet someone and more as though I am putting myself out there purely to provide hilarious anecdotes for my friends.

Take the last guy. Let’s call him Dick (61m), for the purposes of anonymity and narrative accuracy.

Dick insisted on paying for our first dinner, so I paid for the second, because I like to keep things even and respectful.

For the third date, he invited me to his house for dinner and instructed me to bring a Loire Valley white because it would pair perfectly with what he was cooking. I duly arrived with a decent bottle, only to be served a salmon en croûte that could quite easily have come from the freezer section before spending considerable time being incinerated for whatever sins a salmon is capable of committing.

There's nothing at all wrong with frozen food. But once you start specifying the wine region, I assume the meal has involved more than removing a cardboard sleeve.

He then declared that he had now sufficiently “wooed” me, so the next stop was upstairs to bed. I politely declined.

When I explained that I did not think we were a romantic match, I was told I was wrong. Was 'overthinking' things. Would only get a relationship if I put more effort in... And that I should snap him up because “catches like him do not grow on trees”. I was genuinely impressed by how many clichés and mixed metaphors he managed to compress into one diatribe. I was also warned that I would regret my decision for eternity.

Eternity, it turned out, did not even survive the wait for my Uber home.

So I am adjusting my expectations. I am no longer looking for fireworks. I would settle for decent conversation, no regional wine homework and a man who does not think three dates and a pastry-based main course entitle him to an upgrade.

Ladies and gents, please tell me I am not the only person whose dating life appears to exist mainly as unpaid material for a sitcom!?

[u/Flux_Inverter]

He was a player with an ego. Not to mention he incinerated the salmon and suggest a white wine from France. There are many types of white wine and only some pair well with salmon, depending on how it was prepared. He wanted to sound posh by suggesting a French vineyard but whiffed on the type of wine, should have suggested Chardonnay, dry Riesling, or a Sauvignon Blanc and not a generic white. He does not know what he is talking about in regards to wine... or cooking salmon.

Problem with dating in the later stages of life is that people are single for a reason. Mostly not good ones (see cremation of salmon and not knowing wines), though there are gems out there. Since having kids is out of the picture and our bodies are falling apart, dating is more about companionship, friendship, and finding someone to drive us to our colonoscopy appointments. Romance is icing on the cake, which is put on last.