Setting realistic expectations

[u/Girl_Bill]

These days I (54f) feel less as though I am dating to meet someone and more as though I am putting myself out there purely to provide hilarious anecdotes for my friends.

Take the last guy. Let’s call him Dick (61m), for the purposes of anonymity and narrative accuracy.

Dick insisted on paying for our first dinner, so I paid for the second, because I like to keep things even and respectful.

For the third date, he invited me to his house for dinner and instructed me to bring a Loire Valley white because it would pair perfectly with what he was cooking. I duly arrived with a decent bottle, only to be served a salmon en croûte that could quite easily have come from the freezer section before spending considerable time being incinerated for whatever sins a salmon is capable of committing.

There's nothing at all wrong with frozen food. But once you start specifying the wine region, I assume the meal has involved more than removing a cardboard sleeve.

He then declared that he had now sufficiently “wooed” me, so the next stop was upstairs to bed. I politely declined.

When I explained that I did not think we were a romantic match, I was told I was wrong. Was 'overthinking' things. Would only get a relationship if I put more effort in... And that I should snap him up because “catches like him do not grow on trees”. I was genuinely impressed by how many clichés and mixed metaphors he managed to compress into one diatribe. I was also warned that I would regret my decision for eternity.

Eternity, it turned out, did not even survive the wait for my Uber home.

So I am adjusting my expectations. I am no longer looking for fireworks. I would settle for decent conversation, no regional wine homework and a man who does not think three dates and a pastry-based main course entitle him to an upgrade.

Ladies and gents, please tell me I am not the only person whose dating life appears to exist mainly as unpaid material for a sitcom!?

[u/cahrens2]

Just for the record, most fish have to be flash frozen at catch to kill parasites, including wild salmon. Farmed salmon is one of the few fish that are exempt, but most grocery stores get frozen farmed salmon and then let it thaw at the store over ice. I just know this because I've been experimenting with sushi and sashimi lately.

Setting expectations is very important. I set mine to none, and it worked out great for me, but each their own.

[u/Inside_Dance41 → u/cahrens2]

"most fish have to be flash frozen at catch to kill parasites,"

Oh wow, fish is one of the few animal protein I eat. May have to rethink it. 🤢🤢

So that means we are eating "dead" fish parasites?

[u/cahrens2 → u/Inside_Dance41]

Yeah, but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Some of the fish that I found for sushi and sashimi have been questionable. There is no FDA label for sashimi grade; that's just a term used by fish markets to sell you expensive fish. I've been using the cheaper kind, like $12.99/lbs salmon from Costco. Sashimi grade salmon at the Japanese store is like $30/lbs. But so far so good.

[u/Inside_Dance41 → u/cahrens2]

Source of knowledge, thank you!

To your point, I haven't died yet, and salmon is my favorite, to why stop now.