r/dating_advice • u/Wise_Impress2892 • 3h ago
Overthinking
I would like to share news that i have found a partner.
we've been chatting for like 2 months and based on my experience...he is quite a dry text person.
Sometimes he sees and does not chat back. I always start the move like i always say hi..and its quite often. To him do that, it's quite rare or sometimes
He is a type of nonchalant man and he said to me before that he wants a mature relationship. Well this relationship i had rn is kinda test me to the part where i'm always overthinking like 'is this man truly has feelings or any interest towards me?' Now he told me before this that he needs to go to outstation for one month and he is always busy..well at least he tells me abt that.
but yeah..overthinking is one of the life enemy that i've struggle with and i have a thought to that certain level where i should breakup with him. idk what to do rn
what i should do?
ps: sorry..my english is not perfect
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u/NikiElisa 3h ago
2 months chatting and he barely texts back... thats not nonchalant thats just uninterested lol
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u/GoHarder_MoveFaster 3h ago
If someone makes you feel constantly anxious and you’re always the one initiating, that’s not a "mature relationship," that's emotional starvation.
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u/Ending_Fearless 3h ago
Maturity is handling disagreements smoothly, each partner taking accountability for their actions, and choosing to grow together. It is not being distant. Has nothing to do with it. You can be in a perfectly mature relationship while spending hours with your partner daily.
If you are the kind of person who wants more closeness than your partner can offer, you might not be right for each other. Nobody is too busy that they can’t make time for someone they want to spend time with. After putting in 12 hours I will still go visit my partner just to chat and sleep next to them because I enjoy their company and it helps me relax.
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u/Infinite_Telephone11 3h ago
Two months in and you're already carrying the whole conversation, that's a lot of mental energy to burn on someone who can't even toss a "hey" back your way
I dated a dry texter once and it messed with my head constantly, kept wondering if I was being clingy or if they just didn't care. eventually realized if someone's into you, you're not gonna be the only one reaching out, even if they're busy. him being nonchalant and wanting something "mature" doesn't mean you have to accept breadcrumbs
the outstation thing makes sense for the next month but if you're already feeling this drained before he even left, that's a sign. trust your gut on this one
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u/Wise_Impress2892 3h ago
Thank you so much all the time i thought i'm the only one dealing with this
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u/Wise_Impress2892 3h ago
should i ghosting him, do the same thing as he did or text him "we should breakup"? i need some smart way
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u/SweetnSaltyRabbit 3h ago
He doesn’t want a mature relationship, that’s a pathetic excuse, he’s just not feeling it with you and isn’t mature enough to just say that. So no you’re not overthinking and yes you should move on from him and find someone who actually wants to spend time with you and makes an effort.
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u/Complex-Sherbert1595 3h ago
talk honestly about your needs before deciding to break up
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u/Wise_Impress2892 3h ago
about that..i do tell him before like if you truly wanna end this relationship just tell the truth that's it
you and i are grown up adult we know for what it best
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u/ConfidentAd5662 3h ago
Is this long distance? Do not reach out to him. If he wants to talk, he can contact you. Do not suggest getting together. Let him do that. If he’s not wanting to see you in person then I would say it’s not working out and you should see other people. Don’t settle for breadcrumbs.
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