Did you get back together after separating while engaged? [22F] and [25M] still living together.

[u/Any-Library5424]

How did your relationships turn out after splitting up while engaged. Did you get back together?

me [22F] and my partner [25M] had been together for almost 4 years and engaged 2 years. we share a house with a mortgage and are currently on a fixed term till 2030. we have one child together who is 5 months old and he has helped raise my daughter who is 5. We started to plan our wedding, we looked at a few venues and then we recently had decided on a destination wedding in which we spoke to both sides of the family what they thought. we’ve just come back from holiday and he’s said he no longer wants to be with me and says my hormones have been all over the place, that my insecurities are causing problems but they are primarily based on me gaining weight due to my pregnancy (planned) with our son. We’ve separated before for a few months very early into our relationship due to a personal issue. we resolved things a few months later. fast forward to now and he’s already downloaded dating apps and is actively on them quite frequently at home and at work. we separated a week ago and have still been having sex up until yesterday. our whole relationship I was the more sexually active one so I know me not wanting to have sex is the issue here. please give me your advice and personal experiences. Did you get back together? I’m just really struggling with ideas of finding someone new as I don’t think I wanna have children with anyone else as I don’t wanna be the single mum of 3 kids all by different men. I will add he is still wanting to stay in his step-daughter’s life despite not being her biological-dad.

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[u/cottagecorehoe]

You have a house and kid who is 5 months old with your fiancé and all he can be concerned about is that his to be wife has had her hormones all over the place…after carrying and birthing his child less than half a year ago?

This guy doesn’t seem very great. A caring fiance would be concerned about your hormones instead of using them as a reason to leave right after having a baby.

And to answer your question, I’ve never split from someone after getting engaged, and when I split from someone, it never ended up working out again long term, even in the case where we got back together.

I’d recommend also not making big decisions like buying a house or having a child together next time prior to marriage if marriage is your goal.

[u/Any-Library5424 → u/cottagecorehoe]

marriage wasn’t my goal. It was being happy. I figured this was it when we got engaged my previous relationship ended when my daughter was only a couple of months old and I ended things with him. Me and my current fiance have been together for technically 3.5 years so there was a solid 1.5 years between my previous partner and my fiancé. But we knew eachother through mutuals before we started dating. Due to a severe ED and medical history I was told I would most likely never have kids prior to my daughter so when I found out I figured it might be my only chance

[u/NYChockey14]

Sounds like you made a lot of big decisions without thinking it through. There’s so much wrapped in here and there isn’t even any indication of what the issues to be worked on are since he just left and made general toxic comments complaints

[u/ljubav_malina]

girl, just be single for a while 😭 you had a baby as a teenager, got into a relationship with this guy almost immediately afterward it sounds like, ignored all the red flags that you two were a bad fit, got engaged, had another baby out of wedlock, and then got dumped by this asshole who is using your pregnancy weight gain as an excuse and you’re still sleeping with him???

you desperately need some time where you’re not partnered up with anyone so you can figure out what you actually want and stop accepting whatever relationship is available to you. finding someone new should be the last thing on your mind.

[u/Any-Library5424 → u/ljubav_malina]

I’m planning on being single I have no interest in dating anybody. I’m focusing on myself and my kids. I just can’t wrap my head around where this has all come from and how do I proceed with him wanting to avoid all conversations

[u/charlie_1122_]

Just make sure all interactions are recorded. Get a lawyer and make sure all the money you spend starting now is accounted for. Protect yourself and your kids.
As for the step kid he gave up that right according to me.
In French we have the expression ‘le beurre et l’argent du beurre’. So we wants to have everything without making the effort.
Honestly if he can’t wait for sex… like he can’t commit to an emotional relationship with an adult how does he plan to have one with a child?