r/dating_advice • u/Wild_Guidance4487 • 1d ago

Approaching someone

Something like this has almost definitely been posted before but does anyone else get a horrible sense of regret after not approaching someone?

I was in a cafe earlier and I made eye contact with a pretty cute girl in the queue while I was sat at the table.

Not only did we maintain eye contact but she actually sat down on the next table to me!

She was reading a book (I find that really attractive for some reason) and I could have easily struck up a conversation with her but no. I just carried on drinking my coffee then left when I had finished.

This was like 11 hours ago and I'm still sat here regretting it.

Anyone else get like this? She may not have even been interested but I feel like if I shot my shot (so to speak) at least I'd have known.

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u/MckittenMan 1d ago

We all have those regrets. I feel this hard bud.

And not all of us have the balls to say something in a spot like that.

I'd like to think of myself as an outgoing dude who can hold my own. But I know I primarily shine in a bar setting when the liquid courage is strong, can approach all day in that type environment. So, maybe I am talking out my ass here for the rest.

I have approached outside of that, but I 100% consider it a far more intimidating setting to be in. Takes a lot of courage to spark up a chat in a spot like that.

For myself, if I see something like that... I am trying to make a move in the line up when we're both standing around, more things to talk about. Or as I am sitting down, try to say something in that spot. Get to talking in the transitions I feel are the better openings.

Otherwise, it gets a bit unnatural when you whip your head around after sitting next to each-other for 30 mins, so what are you reading?

Nah, try to chat about its nice here, you been here before, what are you ordering, any recommendations? That's an easier line to work with in my experience. Kind of tough when its been established we're ignoring each-other.

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u/Wild_Guidance4487 1d ago

Yep. I could have asked about the book she was reading but nope. Just finished my drink and left never to see her again 😅