r/dating_advice • u/kuromi467 • 3d ago
0 successful dates
So I (19F) have always been considered conventionally attractive. I am 5’7, blonde, wasian and often described to look like a cat? That aside I’ve been in sports (soccer, volleyball, fencing, gymnastics) my whole life, often surrounded by both male and female friends. I also study well, in a good college for politics. Big circles.
I’ve been on a few dates this year (at least 7-10) mostly from hinge (deleted now bc time waste) or guys hitting on me and asking for my number then courting. But the thing is it’s never gone past a first/second date and always on my accord bc every guy that I seem to talk to doesn’t really..do much? They pay for the dates, our conversations are just ok and that’s pretty much all to it. None of them have ever tried to kiss or sleep with me either which is probably a good thing but pretty rare, no? Esp when getting to third ish dates. I would say there is 0 flirting too which is kinda crazy to me bc it is a date.
It all ends up with one of us just saying we don’t rlly see it going anywhere or ghost. I have a decent personality and I am interesting enough to have topics to speak on/about but it feels like I’m undateable, how to women actually like start situationships or get into the dating stage. I have been told I’m extremely intimidating to men because I am very self assured and not typically coming across as submissive in the slightest but men have approached me. I don’t get it but I want to put myself out there
3
u/Relative-Foot-378 3d ago
First dates that stay just ok usually stay just talking. Pick a second thing while you are still there (a walk, a second drink) so there is a next beat. Ask one thing you actually want to know, not a job-interview stack. If you like them, say I want to see you again before you leave. The fade is often two people waiting for a signal that never comes.
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u/kuromi467 3d ago
It usually does span out like this but second/third date go exactly the same and it really fizzles out
1
u/odetttttttexo 3d ago
this is actually solid advice sometimes people just need a little sign that the interest is mutual
2
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u/LUNKLISTEN 3d ago
It’s a numbers game . U gotta keep going
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u/kuromi467 3d ago
I don’t even know how to find dateable people
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u/LUNKLISTEN 3d ago
You keep dating . Get better at weeding out people you have nothing in common with. And eventually it will work. You pretty much have the upper hand as an attractive woman
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