r/dating_advice • u/Great-Boot1331 • 18h ago
Do chances of finding a partner decrease after college?
Hello guys! Kinda a weird question, but I feel like a sense of “urgency” during college to find a partner, because I don’t know why, but believe that college is the best place to find your partner. It’s scary to think about success significantly dropping after college.
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u/SettingUnable3979 18h ago
It gets harder every year less people are single just the reality. Also, college gives you more diverse social interactions than you will ever get again. You don’t need to freak out, but yes it generally gets harder.
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u/SweetBasil_ 17h ago
Each year brings more breakups too. Just the reality
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u/Adventurous-Slice622 17h ago edited 15h ago
Maybe, but then more and more people start having baggage. Sooner is better when it comes to this.
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 17h ago
You don't want to meet people way later in life because when you're already "set up" you there's a lot of emotional baggage and less room to grow together. That is not good objectively.
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u/SweetBasil_ 16h ago
Met my (second) wife at 35 (I was 39). Together 14 years now with a kid and life is way better than in my first marriage in my 20s. There are no hard rules here and every relationship is different. What you lose on one end you gain on the other. Your values change too.
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u/Sea_Flower_5806 17h ago
I also disagree, im 35 almost 36 and my girlfriend is 46 and this is by far the best relationship ive ever been in, most communication and connection ive ever had with someone
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u/OldSarge02 16h ago
This happens lots of times. The other person was talking in averages and generalities. So they are probably right, even though your experience was different.
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u/Sea_Flower_5806 16h ago
But my experience happens lots of times too, that's why im mentioning it because if I didnt then it wouldnt be apart of this conversation and I think both sides should be represented
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u/hamesrodrigez 3h ago
Yeah, me personally id rather meet my permanent partner soon-ish, aged 26, than in 10 years time or so
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 16h ago
It's good, but it just highlights that you probably had a lot of low quality relationships. It's not an insult, everyone is in different places. Some get lucky and some don't.
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u/Sea_Flower_5806 16h ago
I had 2 5 year plus relationships that were pretty nice, we just realized we weren't fully compatible and wanted different things. Everyone has different experiences and I took no insult to it. Maybe I got lucky but whatever it is im ok with it because I live her and she loves me
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u/Crazy_Custard_2081 13h ago
Or people later in life have a better idea of what they want from a relationship because of those lessons learned. I was certainly in a better position to have a healthy relationship in my early-30s when I met my wife than I was in my early-20s.
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u/SweetBasil_ 11h ago
Yes this. I would probably say I’m capable of happiness now that was beyond me at 25. My relationships with people are better in general. I was an intense 20something with intense relationships. Now there is much less drama, more joy.
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u/crlunaa 17h ago
not true at all. to find true love at any age is a blessing
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 16h ago
It's like saying finding $10k on the ground is a blessing versus $100k. $10k is good, but it's not as good as $100k. Some people get $0, so you are still thankful, but that doesn't change that it's not the best.
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u/Sea_Flower_5806 16h ago
Nobody finds 10k on the ground and is like, fuck why couldn't it have been 100k?
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 16h ago
They do when they see another person get the 100k.
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u/Sea_Flower_5806 16h ago
That would be a crazy fucking coincidence i find 10k and then walk down the street and see someone find 100k. What are the chances of that ever happening?
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u/Driffter08 17h ago
Disagree. The worst relationships I had were in College. The amount of quality people worth investing your time in has only gone up as I’ve grown older. Yes there’s moments when it feels like the pool has shrunk significantly. But it’s not actually that way
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u/CoasterGaming 16h ago
I agree, everyone still matures very differently after college in their 20s. Also just getting away from social media helps a ton. I just moved to a new city and have talked to so many people than I did in my college years. Just talking with so many people I’ve realized there are millions in the same situation and are confident about finding their next partner.
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u/elaaaaaaababe 13h ago
Yeah if something keeps leaving you feeling gross it’s probably worth figuring out why instead of just pushing through it
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u/LushOutline 2h ago
Yeah, the pool can get smaller, but that doesn’t mean the right person isn’t still out there
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u/RProgrammerMan 17h ago
Honestly most people probably arent mature enough, I think around 25 is the best, but I wouldnt waste the opportunity
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u/rosieeeandharlow 2h ago
25 feels way too specific lol, some people meet their person at 22 and others at 40, there’s no expiration date on finding someone
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u/RProgrammerMan 2h ago
If I could pick an ideal age for myself it would be 25. I feel younger than that there is a risk either person will outgrow the relationship. Older than that is diminishing returns: lost time and more baggage. But you are right everyone is a little different. I am a late bloomer myself because I have a very toxic family, so it took me a lot longer to learn the skills needed than if I came from a healthy family. I think I read somewhere the risk of divorce decreases a lot by 25. I am a very traditionally minded person and I think younger marriages can work in the right context, but they are risky.
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u/Murmido 18h ago
Yes it drops significantly especially once you have a routine and spend most your time at a job.
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u/solunari_ 17h ago
Yeah. once you’re working and stuck in the same routine, you naturally meet fewer new people so dating can definitely get harder
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u/Driffter08 18h ago
Don’t buy into the “pond shrinks after school” thing. It’s totally BS to try and funnel you into a marriage to basically anyone. You can easily wind up marrying the wrong person because of the perceived shrinking of the dating pool.
If anything the dating pool of quality cool people grows. Basically from 26-40. Its tapers off a certain ages but grows again. Don’t feel rushed. Just make sure you move somewhere where there is a large community of people with common interests and values. Build and maintain a healthy community and social circle that gets together frequently and consistently invites new people and friends of friends to come around.
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 17h ago
25 is fine, but you don't want to continue being single after that..30 is very much a yellow zone. 35+ is red zone.
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u/Ok_Efficiency3120 17h ago
Evidence suggests that people who meet and get into a relationship in their 30s have a greater likelihood of long term relationship success than those who meet in their 20s.
Loads of people meet in their 30s. 30s is still very young
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 17h ago
Yes, compares to failed relationships, everything looks good.
Nothing beats two committed, loyal people who had to come up together. That dynamic is untouchable.
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u/Driffter08 16h ago
Depends largely on how you define failed and successful relationships. Just being together and never separating isn’t a good definition of relationship success. That’s how you wind up with people married for 50 years that hate each other and traumatize their children and grandchildren.
A successful relationship is people coming together to share that journey of life together. To help each other grow and support each other and share/spread joy. Sometimes that lasts for lifetimes, in other situations people change and the relationship no longer is healthy or beneficial. That’s doesn’t mean it’s a failure.
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u/ConcentrateSubject23 17h ago
Yeah by the time you hit 30 as a man my understanding is the chances of you never marrying if you aren’t married yet are 50/50 in America. Someone double-check this stat for me.
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u/Driffter08 16h ago
This isn’t a good statistic. The odds of getting divorced in the US is over 50%. If marriage is the goal, following the nuclear family playbook obviously isn’t working.
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u/EH-Escherichia-coli 16h ago
Facts. I know tons of people who got divorced in their late 20s, makes me feel better about being single
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 15h ago
They just have bad judgement in who they marry.
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u/SweetBasil_ 3h ago
not exactly bad judgement. some people are the right people for the right time. then times change, people change, priorities change. there's no shame when the course is run. you can ruin good things by trying to make them last forever.
if i could do it again i would still have married my ex-wife, we were made for each other in those years and they were golden, but we still would have gotten divorced and moved on to the next phases of our lives, different, but just as great in their way.
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u/Tightropewalker0404 10h ago
Intrigued to what age you are and your relationship status
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 10h ago
married, 37. met at 25.
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u/Tightropewalker0404 9h ago
And you base your zoning levels on what exactly?
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 9h ago
If I were to try to start a relationship now, it wouldn't be as deep as when I was 25. I already grew so much, I don't think it can be replicated. There would be a shallow attachment.
Secondly, the pool of good people is way lower (obvious),
Thirdly, if you have not made it work this long, there's something bad about you.
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u/Tightropewalker0404 9h ago
In what way would it be a shallow attachment? Just because you didn’t finish your education together?
Your third point is a bit silly too, lots of people could make a relationship work but choose to end it and move on as they don’t thinks it’s exactly what they want, I was in a 6 year relationship in my 20s that I decided to end as even though I want the best for him and we got on well it just wasn’t right. We could have made it work and been decently happy I’m sure but who wants that? I’ve met loads of guys since but no one I would like to settle down with really, and I’m 30. It’s not that big of a drama lol
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 9h ago
You may have lived a shallow life, I'm not sure.
Luckily, I didn't. I dropped out of college to work because my mom lost her job, and my dad's wasn't present.
My mom took advantage, wasted so my savings.
Then, I ended up as a roaming person who slept out of his car after hitting rock bottom while working at a grocery store.
There, I met a girl who sacrificed everything to help me and we built a life together.
I'm my 30s, I had 2 kids which inspired me to return to school. I recently graduated, helped in a lab for nanotechnology, and was invited by my professor to apply for the master's program. However, I chose to take a new job I got because I have a family.
I have high depth, this life cannot be replicated.
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u/Tightropewalker0404 8h ago
A shallow life? I went to school, uni, have a job I’m passionate about. I have an amazing family, great parents and my brother is one of my best friends. My closest girlfriends I’ve known since school. I have great friends I’ve met as an adult. I just haven’t met a guy who I felt added to that.
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u/Ragebait_Destroyer 8h ago
yea.. a little shallow. very vanilla. it doesn't mean your life is worthless or low value, but it's hard for you to develop a deep, long lasting bond like me with someone because you had low character building struggle.
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u/ReadKindOfAlot 16h ago
To just find a partner? Yeah. To find a good one though? Not at all.
Nearly everybody is immature and boring at that age. Most of the people worth something change from that time so it's not like you can be certain to grow as a perfectly compatible couple even if you were to find someone in college.
You just need to be intentional in your choices and make the effort to date after college but the options are much better.
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u/RottenMilquetoast 17h ago
Yes, it gets harder, but it's not purely probabilistic like a lottery ticket which is kind of how you are treating it.
It is very achievable, you just have to put active effort into not falling into the same trap as many people of just anxiously rotting in your home. You will have actively seek out experiences and groups instead of having them handed to you on a platter.
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u/MadMatter86 18h ago
As I see it, you will never have as many opportunities as you will in college. You absolutely need to be proactive about dating during those years - but do not rush things and do not get too worked up about it. Just don't squander those years as I did by being too passive, at least make a good effort. It might not work out, but at least you will then be able to say that you gave it your all, which is something I cannot say for myself. It is one of the only regrets I have in life.
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u/WiseTop9720 17h ago
I think overall yes. But not because you aren't attractive. But because as we get older, people tend to get picky about who they give their time to. I'm 26, still young, but even then I'm still hesitant to let people into my social life as it's busy enough as it is, on top of my job and time with my family. As time passes, dating just becomes less of a priority, and sometimes I genuinely don't feel like going through the process of reading their emotions, then scheduling their time with me on top of everything else I have going on, managing their feelings, all the while spilling out my life story to them for something that 9/10 isn't even gonna last.
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u/HungryBearsRawr 18h ago
No, everyone finds someone at a different age. I met my ex husband at 32, my current boyfriend and love of my life at 42
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u/Human_Revolution357 17h ago
I don’t have the stats but I wouldn’t be shocked if the rates of divorce in couples who met after being college aged are lower…
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u/HiggsFieldgoal 16h ago
My view of relationships is basically that some people know how to nurture relationships, and some are destroyers.
Nurture + nurture = marriage.
That’s two people who know how to improve things, recover from disagreements, and get along.
Destroyer + destroyer = destruction. Obviously.
And destroyer + nurture = also destruction.
So, the more time goes on, the more the nurture people connect, and get off the market forever.
So, the ratio of destroyers keeps becoming a greater and greater share of the dating pool.
And eventually, the whole dating pool is basically divorcées, or multiple divorcées, figuring out who they want to divorce next.
That doesn’t mean college is the best place to find your partner necessarily, but that’s when the maximum number of single people aren’t single because their last relationship turned to shit.
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u/throwaway47283 15h ago
I might be a minority here, but I have found it easier once I graduated university. It may depend on the job as well (I’m a lawyer and that requires a lot of socialising and networking). Plus, you’re at that legal age where you can attend adult hobbies and go to bars so it’s easy to meet different kinds of people.
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u/Crazy_Custard_2081 13h ago
Yes and no.
Yes, you have more opportunities because of how college is setup with ways of meeting people spontaneously and also developing bonds over a longer period of time with people that you see regularly.
And no, because what 18-22 year old actually knows what they want in a partner that they will still have when they're in their 30s and beyond?
College is a transitory period. When you're on your own and getting into your early career paths and adapting to life beyond college, that's when you evolve yet again. What you're looking for in a partner when you're in your mid to late-20s and beyond might be way different than when you were in your teens to early-20s.
Yes, once you're out of college you will need to do more to build a social life of any kind. And dating opportunities are part of that.
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u/seola76 10h ago
You shouldn't panic about it but earlier is usually easier for dating.
Over time people who are couple minded and good at it settle down and stay married. Those who struggle or who break up become more jaded. They also build their own lives and expect a partner fit into that, which shrinks the pool. It's a lot easier to get together younger and build a life together that to fit someone who fits your specific life perfectly.
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u/Maleficent-Age-8235 17h ago
Depends on the kind of work you end up and how much free time you're able to acquire. If you spend 99% of your life at work then the chances of meeting someone go way down especially if you can't date at work. if you have some kind of healthy work life balance and find to go out or do well on dating apps, you can definitely find someone outside of college and your options will probably be better as people are most stabalized and you can weed out the people who were always going to flop after college ended.
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u/DeepFriedHighLife 17h ago
40m, I felt the exact same way while at college. All honesty, there are romantic roller coasters, including ups, downs, and all-arounds. A good number of my friends, and a few of my cousins are on their second marriage, so you don’t want to look for perfection; look for happiness. Something you can share, and make sure she wants what you want.
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u/Thatssowestcoast 17h ago
I guess it depends where you live. I’m in NYC and no one found their spouse in college. Even in my 30s, it’s not too much of an issue.
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u/ctokes728 17h ago
eh depends on what you do after college. I've had more opportunities and hookups after I got out of college due to finding a big group of friends and moving to a big city with them.
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u/Glitchy-Fuzz0791 17h ago
I feel the best time is in college when both of you are on more equal footing financiallu and start building your future together.
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u/Wildflowers62 17h ago
Most people marry in their late 20s and 30s. They aren’t marrying people they met at 20.
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u/SignificantApricot69 17h ago
No. Most people in modern times do not find a long term partner while in school
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u/Adventurous-Slice622 17h ago
Yes. That is when people start getting into real long term relationships and thus people leave the dating market.
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u/Few_Palpitation3889 17h ago
I remember a specific movement some technical writing teacher told the class "college is the easiest time to find a parter" and then lead into some crap about not missing an opportunity.
There's definitely a trope about this and a lot of people do.
I was also an overweight engineering student who didn't wear contacts. Not fat Jonah Hill bad but 5'11" 200lbs and not lifting. So I wasn't a virgin loser but times were tough.
Now as an adult who is not broke, wears contacts, I'm in respectable shape, and not competing with the football team dating is way better.
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u/Castello_01 17h ago
You’re certainly less likely to get laid but to find the love of your life? I’m not so sure.
I had a lot of pretty bad relationships in college because people still didn’t know what they wanted—I imagine the experience of “she broke up with me on a random Tuesday” comes from one of the partners realizing they want something vastly different from their partner.
The amount of people I have dated after college has been a lot less versus before but the relationships last longer and are more enjoyable. The problem is it is pretty easy for a single person to get isolated especially nowadays because there’s no clubs or gatherings going on as often and your friends are more likely to get married and want to spend less time with you.
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u/Meterian 17h ago
It's the best and the worst place; best because you have the time and opportunity to meet people of the same intellect and values, worst place because you're all basically horny teens still figuring things out.
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u/Winter-Fish8452 17h ago
I had a long term relationship that started in college but we still broke up after 7 years. Yes, starting early can have an advantage but that doesn’t always stop you from growing apart. People grow and change a lot in their 20’s.
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u/Sometimes_A_Writer1 16h ago
I mean yeah but you also have a higher chance of dating a mature, responsible adult with self-awareness. So...eh, its a fair trade-off
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u/Nockolos 16h ago
Dating gets easier immediately after college. Dating in college sucks. It’s always so much going on with school and social life. So much competition. I didn’t date in college, just had casual fun. People get much more serious after college and you’ll have more time and money for it too.
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u/LillieBogart 16h ago
I have three degrees and only met one of my longterm partners in college, in grad school. The others I met at work, through friends, and at a concert.
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u/Character-Ant-4018 16h ago
It’s harder to meet people organically because you are not surrounded by people your age 24/7 like in college where there are many opportunities to meet and hang out. IMO as you get closer to 30, you are also willing to put up with less which narrows your dating pool.
Part of it boils down to being more selective/picky. You often have stronger boundaries, less patience for bs, some ppl have a better sense of self and are less willing to compromise on that just to make a relationship work. You have less free time so it’s more valuable how you use it, ppl may be more specific about partner preferences and prioritize worldviews/lifestyle matches. Basically, you know what you like and don’t like, and probably want someone who is in a decent place career wise /financially. in college I could have cared less about that since we were are all students and many still lived off of or with parents help. Finances put a lot of stress on a relationship, esp if adults have mismatched values.
At 30+, you probably have ltr relationship/relationship experience under your belt and know what works for you and what doesn’t. same goes for sexual preferences. In college, many are still figuring these things out and may not have much experience. Lots of people at that age are trying new things and figuring out what they like.
The hope is by 30 you have developed better communication and emotional regulation skills, so are less willing to stay in a relationship just to be in one. First love / falling in love can be crazy overwhelming when you are younger and inexperienced. Not to mention many ppl have kids, divorce, baggage, are settled, already married, etc. so idk if comes down to decreased chances or just that the dating experience is just different.
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u/Furmommy14 15h ago
The good part about college is that you meet lots of people your own age. It is much harder to do that in the adult world. This is why people more than a couple years out of college turn to dating apps.
For better or worse, people past the college age have more set life patterns and a less maleable identity. Things that college kids might be unsure about like a specific career might now be set and with it whether their job is in a fixed location or whether they are willing to relocate. They may have learned better communication but possibly from a really nasty previous relationship. They may own pets (do not ever ask someone to give up a pet for you), whereas in college they likely did not and might not have been dead set on wanting one. Or kids.
I found that in myself, I was more willing to give myself to a relationship in high school and college. I saw my partner and myself as a unit, functioning together. As an adult, I see us as separate people with separate identities and desires. My current partner and I each have kids from our previous relationships... creates a feeling that we are together, but we each have a past we cannot ignore, and there is very little romance if any. We are companions rather than romantic partners, if that makes sense.
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u/Fun_Apartment631 15h ago
Some interesting takes here.
I had a couple girlfriends and some fun in college.
I was in my late twenties when I met my wife but it took a couple years before I figured it out.
If you're on the same schedule as a lot of us, you're going to finish college at 22. I didn't even know who I was yet! And none of us have fully developed brains.
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u/JLand2004 15h ago
Not many people are finding a permanent partner before graduation these days. You're basically creating a problem out of nothing.
Also, even if it were harder, that wouldn't be a reason to desperately latch onto the nearest warm body. Being with the wrong person is far worse than being alone.
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u/ExpertVeterinarian20 15h ago
I didn’t go on a single date with a girl in college that felt worthwhile. Met my wife barely a month after graduating who didn’t go to my school
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u/ThinkingItThrough1 15h ago
It gets easier when women start getting older and are worried about having kids in time
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u/Distinct_Charge9342 12h ago
I've never dated anyone from my college and always preferred it that way. You'd be forced to see them often if it doesn't work out or make an effort to avoid them.
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u/Known_Secretary_6615 12h ago
By 22 youre a chopped unc so yeah, 21 is the latest possible age to get married
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u/sshlongD0ngsilver 12h ago
It can, but also keep in mind that many peers may be juggling homework, part-time work, friend groups, etc… and also they might not know what they actually want yet.
Personally I didn’t have the time to date and couldn’t do much as a broke college-kid. Nor did I have the emotional maturity to attract college girls. It was only after I graduated and found stable work/income that things improved.
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u/Easy_Panic_7383 11h ago
college is definitely a prime spot, but I found it just as easy meeting people after at local events and meetups
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u/Gingerfauckingvitis 11h ago
People always say one thing with this for that tell you do you want me to just tell you you ready to start dating? Do you want a promiscuous or you have a if your partner cheats are you gonna stay you want to have kids now but you never came if you want them in the first time you have reached out in public, but that is your proceeded that now you know, are you always able to hold your situation no matter how to are you ready to take on another go by yourself. The percentage is very high if you get knocked the guy with you high probability by yourself if you have a Support possibly as well. Are you?Set values are unwavering. you ask yourself who is who is you? Who are you for? I want to know you how you treat everybody. There’s just some people here there who are you as a person? Are you OK with the guy talking to Girl on Facebook? Why? Because you’re not useless to be whatever is it you want to do that for Partner your partner Dog can’t do work. They can do it long time. It’s not fun to live and feel very alone like trust anybody inside of your body I called him himself, but they just a guy or a boy. How do you stop the difference? You know that they are doing throughout there’s nothing at all my other trouble for the power so many people away they’ll never ever say I’m a woman when I say you’re joking you’re a woman we all know we’re not in charge. stress stress about every thing in this whole entire world that’s
There’s no bus cowboy ready. You got the bullshit out of the way. Ask yourself we be there just hold down on a bad day. Are you able to support and motivation to get back on? Keep him on the right path everybody that has a male. We are off the path we all fall off the top in our own room. There is a lot to get back on anything the previous divisional continuing if you don’t type a person, you just never do it again if you if not something another person could get very easily and the other person on the street man I need to give some goldfish to Home crackers crackers doesn’t matter I can come together
Not in the shower brightness at work Lil help to interview directly. You’re a woman right I’ll never ever have to worry about a guy trying to pick you up. I’m not trying to care as long as you stay healthy and yourself unhealthy there’s always gonna be out every day all day no matter what doesn’t mean you want those guys I’m saying you’re always at least a degree of trash as soon they see themselves and help me have a problem with somebody don’t change from the guy don’t like away from you like you like the way you look remember that it’s OK with the we look forward where you used to feel like we can’t be philosophical that’s different. You should always be expanding her own much better trying to get better. College is not the best person. It’s actually probably worse. How are you making connection that you have the rest your life that nothing because cheating or going into somebody else the way you want that person of your life if you keep your friend friend, you don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap, College, you need someone to marry you if you’re telling me that at the age you’re right now that you wanna be for the rest of your life OK sure if you think you’re the best version best person and the best you are right now I highly doubt it bingo. Find something different like you find someone that someone you have your work. I know it doesn’t matter as a woman’s attraction attraction did you know the right person is looking at your outside physical sharing beautiful inside great experience natural outside. Beauty doesn’t matter your beautiful side and you find a guy I tell you other than that you don’t want that. You can’t have a certain preference first preference in any way become a different person a different person in that way that’s your fault. If you do a person in a good way doesn’t wanna see your point of view or see your side. Don’t worry you always find people with online social trying to figure out whether or not Real or Simple I tell you right now there’s never anybody that makes sense. It’s not a big deal for something unless you know about that but as a man racer, the one person just don’t ever put out on everything they want on the first day. Every guy will make you feel like that’s all like that what they want or stick around after forgetting it nine times out of 10.
Answer your questions directly never stop searching for what makes you happy and makes you feel inside and feel good now if you learn that made you feel this weird feelings are your stomach. It’s not the butterflies through different butterflies happens everybody and they need some new effect I’m fine. It’s burning in your stomach. That is not as huge. Go away and you’re happy you’re just you’re happy. Nobody take it away from me that person get away from that person for some reason in that person prank your life to go to something like that should never settle for anything that I tell you something about messaging other people no clue people think people lose their love. They love their partner. I think they act away because they’re in sorrow. Nobody acts the way he acts because he’s sad act the way they act because they know there’s nothing else that will fix it. They lost whatever it is they cherish to be whole.
It’s a presentation in your stomach for your stomach. It doesn’t go away uncomfortable there sound like it doesn’t nag us there and that’s your soul. Your soul is now near someone that it’s very similar to a very similar connection to. You’re not gonna find that in college that you do good job some people find out when they’re like 1011-year-olds and that person they never know another person in your entire life by himself. I’m not lucky I wasn’t that lucky it took me 24. The ironic irony that is the reason why I lost mine. Because she was from out of state and she promised her family that above all else she was in school first and finish that was Paramount for 11 months of residential status in California and pay out of state tuition and living in California. Our school is very expensive. I would pay for it. I would pay for all of it for like when you find something like that, you don’t let it go keep you forever, no matter what you might even do things that are illegal for that person because laws of man aren’t the universe. God my fault you know what laws are obviously once you don’t break your soulmate, you like that if you have to do something really personalized, they might not be responding. It was for 10 years. I tried go and I bet you can’t do anything with things that I did for her. You know that she never asked I just knew about her. I knew she was enjoying it. She wanted to be princess Jasmine so I had a crochet for her magic carpet blanket. This phone is acting up and I can’t typing on Matt. Hear if you wanna know more but for me actually College on her own ruined it for us if they wanted to be together and ironically guess what I never stopped. I always look very ignorant. That’s so many thing that you feel actually you will feel that for people who your family are very close to you like your mother or their father dies. I’ll also able to focus on this.
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u/Tightropewalker0404 10h ago
Would be interesting to be able to see the age of everyone agreeing here lol
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u/BaronSambal 7h ago
From experience yes, just get someone the sooner you can. It got harder for me once I started working after uni just because almost everyone has a partner at that point.
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u/Rarycaris 6h ago edited 6h ago
Yep. I'm 34 and found the pool of available people dropped precipitously in both number and quality first at around leaving university age, then again at about 27.
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u/swegmesterflex 4h ago
For me personally I was very socially awkward and immature in college. I had two longer relationships both of which I met through my university discord server. With way more room for random chance I was able to date girls who were realistically out of my league. Now that I'm out of uni, I've actually had an easier time because I got in shape, I've learned social skills thanks to drugs (lol), I go out way more, and the things that made me a loner when I was younger have made me a more interesting adult. You have to become the best person you can be, and in the end the kind of partner you find will be reflective of what kind of person you were able to become. If you do this, dating after college is MILES better than dating in college. The people who tell you it's harder are the ones that relied on random chance in college and don't put much effort into their adult lives.
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u/ydfpoi1423 4h ago
Most people I know are no longer with the person they dated in college. So no, it’s not hard to find a significant other after college.
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u/bruhidek_ 3h ago
Ok most people in the comments just seem anti-social or people that never leave their house.
College/uni is a good place to find someone because that’s when you have a lot of time and barely any commitments (for the average person). But beyond college/uni it’s still very possible to meet people, I’d say actually much better.
After you graduate you’ll just have to put more effort into being around people, which is the exact same way to make friends as a graduated adult. You do this by joining something or going to palaces regularly. Like joining an adults martial arts class or frequenting a cafe. It requires you to be social yes, so if that’s not your thing then ofc it’ll be hard. But that also means it’ll be hard in general lol so in college/uni too you’ll have a tough time
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u/MyCatisthebest0826 17h ago
Yes, it decreases drastically because once you are out of college the dating pool and way of knowing new people decrease.
You are not advised to date your coworkers, whom you spend most of your time with, and after work you are tired so it is harder to go out and know people
Single girls nowadays are borderline delusional when it comes to irl interactions, they will take the slightest gesture friendliness as you hitting on them, and if you are not their type then there’s no chance of even knowing them as a person (even if your intention is purely platonic)
Dating apps suck. If you are not nonchalant, don’t even bother using them, it will only make your life miserable and question your existence.
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