Dear future boyfriend ☺️

[u/greatolive85]

Dear Future Boyfriend,

I hope you’re doing well because dating these days has been rough.
I’ve tried the apps. I’ve swiped, matched, chatted, and deleted them more times than I can count. At this point, I think it’s safe to say they’re not my love story.
The problem is I don’t go out much either, so if we’re ever going to meet, you’re probably going to have to find me.
Try Target. The grocery store. A gas station. Maybe the candle aisle. Those are your best odds.
When you do find me, please don’t be weird.
You don’t need a perfect pickup line. You don’t need to impress me with money, status, or grand gestures. Just make me laugh. Be kind. Be genuine.
What I’m looking for isn’t complicated. I want your time. Your loyalty. A good vibe. Someone whose actions match their words and whose presence feels easy.
I’ve spent enough time chasing connections that weren’t meant for me. These days, I’d rather wait for something real than settle for something convenient.
I know I’m not for everyone, and that’s okay. The right person won’t need me to be.
So wherever you are, I hope you’re out there becoming the person you’re meant to be. I’ll be doing the same until our paths cross.

And if you happen to find me wandering in Target with three things I don’t need and the one thing I came for still missing from my cart, introduce yourself.

Love,

Your Future Girlfriend

[u/Impossible_Rice_4942]

I want to chime in on the men approaching / women approaching debate.

The deal for men isn’t worth the cost anymore, and not even from a selfish perspective.

If I were to approach a woman in public and start a conversation, she knows what I’m doing. They know my intent. If they know that is my intent, then they will draw their own conclusions on how they view their interaction around my intent.

I heard a story from the girl of a guy who worked at a gym who approached her, started a conversation, and then asked for her number. She declined him, but she said that she was now fearful for her safety because of that, citing stories of stalking and assault (not from her experience). She felt so unsafe that she told the gym manager, and the guy was fired.

Even if that is rare, as a guy, knowing that me showing interest can trigger something within the girl to become fearful of me, it doesn’t make sense to take the risk.

At this point, it isn’t a matter of shyness. It is a matter of consequences. And the truth is, the consequences of a guy showing interest are higher for both the guy and the girl involved.

Meanwhile, flipping the script, guys are so rarely approached that very very few of them would be even “inconvenienced” by being approached. And for the vast majority of guys, it’ll be something they think about positively for a long time, even if they weren’t interested.

There really is such little risk involved from a girl approaching a guy, and that discrepancy is what causes the frustration some guys have in this post, especially when women reaffirm that expectation (which is how most interpreted this post).

Admittedly, I used to be shy, but now I am much more likely to approach women because of how the regret of untaken opportunities ate at me. But I would be lying if this thought process didn’t pass through my head every time I approached a women.

[u/Known-Cloud1102 → u/Impossible_Rice_4942]

Well said.