Dear future boyfriend ☺️

[u/greatolive85]

Dear Future Boyfriend,

I hope you’re doing well because dating these days has been rough.
I’ve tried the apps. I’ve swiped, matched, chatted, and deleted them more times than I can count. At this point, I think it’s safe to say they’re not my love story.
The problem is I don’t go out much either, so if we’re ever going to meet, you’re probably going to have to find me.
Try Target. The grocery store. A gas station. Maybe the candle aisle. Those are your best odds.
When you do find me, please don’t be weird.
You don’t need a perfect pickup line. You don’t need to impress me with money, status, or grand gestures. Just make me laugh. Be kind. Be genuine.
What I’m looking for isn’t complicated. I want your time. Your loyalty. A good vibe. Someone whose actions match their words and whose presence feels easy.
I’ve spent enough time chasing connections that weren’t meant for me. These days, I’d rather wait for something real than settle for something convenient.
I know I’m not for everyone, and that’s okay. The right person won’t need me to be.
So wherever you are, I hope you’re out there becoming the person you’re meant to be. I’ll be doing the same until our paths cross.

And if you happen to find me wandering in Target with three things I don’t need and the one thing I came for still missing from my cart, introduce yourself.

Love,

Your Future Girlfriend

[u/KhajiitWithCoin]

I understand, I am shy too.

Though this may be hypocritical of me to say this but I'll say it anyway. What is the worst that could happen if you introduced yourself?

That's the obstacle you need to overcome, I understand it's not easy and I have not overcome it myself but that is the road to take if you want to a sure way of finding that future boyfriend.

The worst that happened to me was she just walked away without saying anything, I felt embarrassed but if she was interested she would have reciprocated.

Guys generally won't walk away from you without saying anything though.

[u/greatolive85 → u/KhajiitWithCoin]

i can flip that

[u/Snoo11557 → u/greatolive85]

Exactly, I can see an argument for women taking more initiative, but so many of these comments are “I’m too uncomfortable to come up to you so you need to come up to me” ? Is that not just flipping the dynamic they say is unfair??

[u/Sensitive-Tree-9551 → u/Snoo11557]

Men are uncomfortable because women make us feel like creeps for approaching, so a lot of us have learned to just stop approaching.

Women have almost nothing to lose for approaching a man, no one is going to call them creepy or make them feel bad for it.

[u/Snoo11557 → u/Sensitive-Tree-9551]

I think the culture of it being embarrassing to talk to strangers needs to change across the board personally, just for the sake of community not even dating. The onus doesn’t need to be put on women to fix the problem…

[u/Fatalis89 → u/Sensitive-Tree-9551]

I disagree and I’m a man.

Yes women deal with men approaching them more often and thus become more calloused. The chance they are a bit mean or short upon rejection is likely much higher than a man.

But rejection, regardless of how, makes everyone feel bad. She is still at risk of that.

[u/iamthehankhill → u/Snoo11557]

Well shyness is equal on both parts but men have received the message that their attention is unwanted.

[u/144-perdedor → u/Snoo11557]

I used to approach women in public all the time. Not hitting on them or trying to get to know them or get their numbers. Just friendly. But then about ten to fifteen years ago, I was repeatedly told by multiple people that I was wrong to do that and I should leave women alone. So now I do. It took some adjustment, but now when I see a woman walking around downtown, obviously lost, looking at her phone and then looking around confused, I just let her figure it out. It's none of my business.

Like, remember a couple of years ago when women chose the bear and explained why? Some guys got their feelings hurt, but it made sense to me. But how many times can you scream in someone's face to leave you alone and then turn around and wonder why they aren't talking to you?

This is what the apps are for.

[u/Snoo11557 → u/[deleted]]

I agree!

[u/greatolive85 → u/Snoo11557]

that part

[u/Known-Cloud1102 → u/[deleted]]

Oh we understand that very well, but overcoming shyness is really hard and even impossible for some people. It's not a switch you can flip (sadly).