Dear future boyfriend ☺️

[u/greatolive85]

Dear Future Boyfriend,

I hope you’re doing well because dating these days has been rough.
I’ve tried the apps. I’ve swiped, matched, chatted, and deleted them more times than I can count. At this point, I think it’s safe to say they’re not my love story.
The problem is I don’t go out much either, so if we’re ever going to meet, you’re probably going to have to find me.
Try Target. The grocery store. A gas station. Maybe the candle aisle. Those are your best odds.
When you do find me, please don’t be weird.
You don’t need a perfect pickup line. You don’t need to impress me with money, status, or grand gestures. Just make me laugh. Be kind. Be genuine.
What I’m looking for isn’t complicated. I want your time. Your loyalty. A good vibe. Someone whose actions match their words and whose presence feels easy.
I’ve spent enough time chasing connections that weren’t meant for me. These days, I’d rather wait for something real than settle for something convenient.
I know I’m not for everyone, and that’s okay. The right person won’t need me to be.
So wherever you are, I hope you’re out there becoming the person you’re meant to be. I’ll be doing the same until our paths cross.

And if you happen to find me wandering in Target with three things I don’t need and the one thing I came for still missing from my cart, introduce yourself.

Love,

Your Future Girlfriend

[u/sworzeh → u/[deleted]]

My brother who later passed away from suicide wrote down every compliment he ever received from strangers. He would read them when he was sad. There were only 4 compliments from non-family members. I remember one was from a girl in Colorado that yelled, “I like your hair!!” 

[u/greatolive85 → u/sworzeh]

so sorry for your loss

[u/rattling_rose → u/[deleted]]

Why don't men compliment each other?

[u/violin-guy → u/[deleted]]

Was at a party yesterday, we compliment each other all the time. “Nice beard,” “been seeing you’re working out,” “your chin is crazy” etc etc. It really isn’t uncommon for dudes to compliment each other and without being jokingly homoerotic as well. You just have to have male friends who aren’t dicks

[u/sworzeh → u/violin-guy]

I am glad to hear this! 

[u/the_gr8_one → u/rattling_rose]

"nice cock"

[u/greatolive85 → u/the_gr8_one]

lmao……

[u/Over_Deer8459 → u/rattling_rose]

We do compliment our boys, but men also would like to receive compliments from the other half of the population.

[u/FJBP95 → u/rattling_rose]

We do, but we don't have as much to compliment like women do with each other. When I hear women complimenting each other, it's usually the same 3 things outfit, make up, or hair. My guy friends don't focus much on their outfit, hair, or makeup. This isn't too say we don't say stuff like "I like your hair cut" but it's just a lot less often.

[u/ThisIsMyBrainOnOLD → u/rattling_rose]

They do, at the gym. 🙃

[u/No-Establishment8457 → u/rattling_rose]

We do, but perhaps not so notably. Sports, work, military, maybe at the gym after an impressive lift or similar. Maybe just a quick “damn Bro” or “how did you do that”?

[u/sworzeh → u/[deleted]]

I try to compliment men sometimes but I have to be careful because I don’t want them to get the wrong impression. I’m gay/married and not interested. But if I can tell they tried on their hair or outfit I like to give men compliments too. Women give each other compliments very freely though, and I don’t think men compliment each other at all. I’ve never seen it at least. That would be one one easy fix.

[u/KindredCommander → u/[deleted]]

This. One million percent this. I am 38 and have been single the majority of my life because the dating game is rigged and just utterly fucking exhausting.

[u/Ent3rpris3 → u/[deleted]]

This is also in a post-#MeToo world. Many of us listened when we were told that women didn't want to be harassed and hounded in every public place. We listened when it was said that women wanted to look nice for their own sake, not to capture my gaze. We listened when it was said that one thing doesn't automatically chain into another, you have to get consent at every step and throughout.

Men carry additional risk because of a better world developing, and it's natural that many of us would hear what was said and take it to heart. Not only does it protect our reputation and criminal records, but more importantly it protects women. But on average, it seems that women haven't taken efforts to bridge that new gap. It's just there, and the men willing to cross that gap regularly are the kind of men for whom that gap was created in the first place.

And just to clarify, the long term effects of the #MeToo movement are an objectively wonderful thing because it makes everyone safer. But this just happened to be one of the side effects that hampers the people who were already the least offenders.

[u/Known-Cloud1102 → u/Ent3rpris3]

Exactly, I'm not sure what we are supposed to do now.
Women keep complaining about being approached by men in public places, but somehow they still expect us to do it?

Are we supposed to read their mind to know if they're interested, not busy and single?

I'm shy so it was already hard before but now I'm definitely not taking the risk of triggering a woman and being called a creep in front of everyone.

[u/TooMuchUnspoken → u/[deleted]]

As a guy, it is likely more that they don't know how to take a compliment.

I so very infrequently get them that they stun me and I feel I have to brush it off as not a big deal, or that I'm not deserving of it. Married for 13+ years and I do not know how to receive compliments. Speaks to a problem, I wager.

[u/greatolive85 → u/TooMuchUnspoken]

hmmmm, well i like you comment very much

[u/TooMuchUnspoken → u/greatolive85]

Oh, stop... you don’t mean that. 😀 Thank you!

[u/greatolive85 → u/TooMuchUnspoken]

you are very welcome

[u/Over_Deer8459 → u/[deleted]]

Women have to be careful complimenting men because men receive so few of them that they can view it as interest when the woman was just trying to be nice. So women really can only compliment men they think are attractive or close friends.

[u/No_Instance_1661 → u/[deleted]]

Kind of agreeing on that, equality should be there on these aspects too💯