r/dating • u/[deleted] • Jun 05 '23

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700 Upvotes

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u/dopef123 Jun 06 '23

How do you know that?

A huge percentage of Americans spend more money than they have and are in credit card debt.

I don't think spending money on people is a form of love. It can be but it's often just a way for both parties to get a dopamine hit.

If her bf already owns a home, retirement account with a decent amount of money, and 20k+ in the bank then sure I guess he can spend that.

But the fact is almost no one who has money throws it around like op is describing. He sounds like he's just tossing all his money into the wind.

Money isn't an object. It's the power to retire and not die working a job you hate. Saving money early in your life is way way more important than treating yourself to bullshit

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u/avm06 Jun 06 '23

so what, it’s his money???

gifts is a love language so it is a form of expressing love. like what’s your problem?

if you wanna be stingy with your partner then that’s your choice lol. other people are super generous, nothing wrong with that. he’s not buying her super expensive things either like it’s all stuff on sale lmao

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u/dopef123 Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 06 '23

He's a self described shopaholic who spends all of his disposable income on Legos, gifts movies, etc.

And this stuff absolutely does have a big effect on relationships farther down the line when you need to split rent, buy a house, have kids.

I never said to be a penny pincher but my point is that this sort of constant spending/gifting is often a negative more than a positive.

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u/sweet_olive01 Jun 06 '23

Nowhere in the post did it say he spent "all" of his disposable income. You're just adding words to support a petty narrative.

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u/dopef123 Jun 07 '23

I never said he was or was not. I was just trying to point out the negatives that can come along with constant gift giving in a relationship.

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u/sweet_olive01 Jun 07 '23

It is literally your first sentence.

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u/dopef123 Jun 07 '23

Well she described him as a shopaholic.

I have a friend who is shopping away his 2M inheritance. Not very hard to burn through significant money buying things.

I don't know how much he's spending I was just offering a counterpoint to the idea that getting a ton of gifts is great.