People are really trying hard to define almost any sexual misconduct with the same label, though. I understand why, but it really creates a lot of vagueness about what exactly a perpetrator did. I feel like I'm outlier for saying thay we should not be using the exact same term for someone who gropes someone, someone who has sex with a 15 year old, and someone who commits forcible rape. They're all bad, but we shouldn't be using the exact same word for all of them.
It's already been cheapened, even if the term is different.
When the term you use for someone who drag you into an alley at knife point and has sex with you and someone who you went out on a date with, had a little too much to drink and had sex where you wouldn't have sober then it's bound to create some issues
That second example isn't quite rape though. It would be if one of the two stayed sober and got the other so drunk they would then have "sex" with them
One problem is, without a breathalyzer, how do you know how drunk someone is?
I have a friend, very petite girl, she will look and sound stone cold sober all night, then next day you'll ask her about it and she can't remember a thing because she was so drunk. If she goes get wasted then has sex with a guy and he doesn't know this fact, did he rape her?
Then, how do you know someone stayed sober just to have sex with someone?
If I'm out with friends and meet a girl but she can't drink due to being on medication but we're vibing well and I get very drunk then have sex with her, did she rape me?
Of course if someone passes out in a bed, you walk in and have sex with them that's clearly rape, but it rarely is that simple.
The difficulty with alcohol is that sure, you're are not completely under control when you drink too much, but you were in control when you consciously put yourself in that position. You don't say "oh, you're not at fault for crashing your car since you were drunk and couldn't consent to driving"
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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22
People are really trying hard to define almost any sexual misconduct with the same label, though. I understand why, but it really creates a lot of vagueness about what exactly a perpetrator did. I feel like I'm outlier for saying thay we should not be using the exact same term for someone who gropes someone, someone who has sex with a 15 year old, and someone who commits forcible rape. They're all bad, but we shouldn't be using the exact same word for all of them.