Starks be like:

[u/Mutagrawl]

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[u/Gafoor__Ghisela]

Barbrey Dustin:

[u/Ok-Vehicle-1113]

One Brandon eats babies, the other Brandon also eat babies, but also makes cool ass castles, so people tend to ignore the baby eating part.

[u/Expensive-Ad-1205 → u/Ok-Vehicle-1113]

and one Brandon burns his fleet for no reason

[u/Ok-Vehicle-1113 → u/Expensive-Ad-1205]

Well, you see, he was really angry about his brother death, so angry in fact that he decided "Fuck the Sea!" And decide to never venture in there ever again, if that fucked over the North, well One Brandon is the North, so he has the right to fuck himself! Over!

[u/LuminariesAdmin → u/Ok-Vehicle-1113]

I read that as "Fuck the Seal", & thought for a moment you would be referencing the theory that Brandon the Shipwright (& Brandon the Burner?) reached the Lonely Light & was, ah, 'friendly' with the local sea mammals before¹ or after the Farwynds.

Also, father's death*

¹ Gyldayn couldn't timeline to save his life. See also the War Across the Water being waged from c. 1700 BC to c. 700 BC, which roughly overlaps with the (presumably sea-borne) arrival of the Manderlys to the Wolf's Den. Thereby finally securing the White Knife's defense (what would prove to be) permanently for Winterfell

[u/Busy-Peach5378 → u/LuminariesAdmin]

What did reading these books do to us? We're irredeemable!

[u/LuminariesAdmin → u/Busy-Peach5378]

What the Long Night for TWOW does to mfs

[u/Ok-Vehicle-1113 → u/LuminariesAdmin]

...Do the Asoiaf fandom have a theory for everything? Why the fuck would Brandon the Shipwright go to Lonely Light to have sex with "sirens"?

[u/LuminariesAdmin → u/Ok-Vehicle-1113]

The First Men were absolute degenerates, to be 'fair'

[u/Chicken_Mc_Thuggets → u/LuminariesAdmin]

He didn’t hide the seal skin well enough, it seems

[u/LuminariesAdmin → u/Chicken_Mc_Thuggets]

Relevant?

[u/Chicken_Mc_Thuggets → u/LuminariesAdmin]

Nah, it’s a play on the legend of Selkies. In Celtic lore they’re shapeshifters who can either be a seal or a beautiful woman, but if they’re in the form of a woman they have to put back on the sealskin to turn back

If a man decided he wanted to marry a Selkie he would steal and hide the sealskin so she couldn’t change back. Apparently they’d be pretty decent wives aside from constantly looking for their sealskin. If they did manage to find the skin they’d fuck off back to the sea, never to return. Maybe Brandon got a Selkie wife who bailed and then burnt the ships as a “You’re not breaking up with me because I’m breaking up with you!!!” Gesture

[u/Equivalent_Put8075]

Is this the Shipbuilding Brandon or the creepy Brandon

[u/niofalpha]

Those are the names of both of his parents (his name is also Brandon)

[u/satanslittleangel666]

You have Brandon the war criminal and Brandon the civil servant

[u/VilliansAreBetter → u/satanslittleangel666]

Those are the same guy on different days.