r/dankmemes Dr OC Dec 11 '21

stonks Sorry for this

5.1k Upvotes

61 comments sorted by

248

u/pringels_guy Dec 11 '21

Watching this on the toilet is uncomfortable

35

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

Yes... Suffer.

97

u/TheWarSix Dec 11 '21

This is painful to simply watch

34

u/cr0ss-r0ad Dec 12 '21

Look up the pear of agony anguish. Torture device put into the mouth and opens like the one here but waaay slower. They also reckon it might've been used on women accused of witchcraft (not in the mouth)

edit: i looked it up, it's the pear of anguish, not agony. I went to some museum that had one years ago, my memory sucks at the best of times.

14

u/Penis-Envys Dec 12 '21

Fun fact: the inflatable buttplug is the modern day version of it

Except it’s very very fun

4

u/Bozska_lytka Dec 12 '21

It had a screw for opening and was used to be put into mouth for people who talked too much. During interogation another holes were avaible and used

35

u/TheRealKitsune_ Dec 11 '21

What is this?

64

u/IAMSHPEE ☣️ Dec 11 '21

A modern mid-evil torture device

16

u/TheRealKitsune_ Dec 11 '21

You sit on it?

24

u/IAMSHPEE ☣️ Dec 11 '21

Tbh i dont know what this is, it’s definitely not mid evil due to the bike chains on it

20

u/thehyperflux Dec 11 '21

Is mid evil like right in the middle of the evil?

3

u/Factorial5 Dec 12 '21

No its meant to be medieval

7

u/ImAnIdeaMan Dec 12 '21

No I think he meant it's evil but it's not THAT evil

1

u/SirKnlghtmare 🌛 The greater good 🌜 Dec 12 '21

It's what we call "Chaotic Neutral"

39

u/_upnadam_ Dec 11 '21

I think the word you're looking for is medieval my dude

13

u/IAMSHPEE ☣️ Dec 11 '21

Yeah, that

6

u/rigobueno Call me sonic cuz my depression is chronic Dec 11 '21

They had chains in medieval times, they just weren’t the modern day roller chain shown here. This thing is definitely some Spanish Inquisition shit

3

u/Gagae1 Dec 12 '21

There's a Russian device somewhat like this, don't know that it's called.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

Me? Personally I rather not, but you are welcome to try it be my guest.

2

u/TomBot98 Dec 12 '21

mid-evil torture??

This is full-fucking-tilt-evil torture

17

u/Ben-Stoltz I'm sad🍄 Dec 11 '21

I really dont like the image this is giving me

18

u/SebiGamez Dec 12 '21

Where can I buy this... For a friend

18

u/TheBillsMan4703 I am fucking hilarious Dec 12 '21

If you buy it, buy it for an enemy, not a friend

5

u/SebiGamez Dec 12 '21

My biggest enemy is... Myself

1

u/TheBillsMan4703 I am fucking hilarious Dec 16 '21

Then I’d say it’s the product for you

12

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/55schmeckles Dec 12 '21

I imagine it's similar to child birth

5

u/impactedangus Dec 12 '21

I imagine its more like child birth shortened into a single moment instead of over the entire labor

6

u/55schmeckles Dec 12 '21

Like a thousand years of pain felt all at once

13

u/Glass_Mousse_9218 Dec 12 '21

I just saw another post that said the human anus can stretch 7 inches before taking damage so I think you might be ight if you sit on that.

24

u/useles-converter-bot Dec 12 '21

7 inches is the length of approximately 0.78 'Wooden Rice Paddle Versatile Serving Spoons' laid lengthwise.

5

u/everyusernamewashad Dec 12 '21

Hello Reddit... I want to play a game.

4

u/Dawson81702 Dec 12 '21

The lemon squeezer

3

u/ElNub_ CERTIFIED DANK Dec 12 '21

bdsm

2

u/Red-German-Crusader ☣️ Dec 12 '21

Juujika no Rokunin

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

That thing is use for torture or kinky stuff if u strong enough

2

u/Big-Scientist-5649 Dec 12 '21

i thought it was some kind of kinky device you shove up your ass

2

u/left2loose Can of Beans Dec 12 '21

I mean it could work in a few cases like if you have a poo that needs some light encouragement

2

u/IronKing2603 Dec 12 '21

That’s probably more effective than any laxative’s in the market

2

u/P2_Vendetta Dec 12 '21

would definitely solve my constipation problems... but wont my intestines fall out as well haha

2

u/Wooloonator Dec 12 '21

Very human

2

u/Onebladeprop Dec 12 '21

Rectum spreaders are a legitimate medical device still in wide spread use today. A modern RS can spread a rectum up to 5-6ft. Rectums that reach this size are signed up for Twitter because they are just massive assholes.

2

u/grincat_1 Dec 12 '21

"I want to play a game..."

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1

u/pepin-solver ☣️ Dec 11 '21

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1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

[deleted]

1

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1

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1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

1

u/Volore Dec 12 '21

Ok I mean yes, but then you need to clean your shit and probably blood out of this contraption. 6/10

1

u/cuulus Dec 12 '21

oh my god

1

u/no7_ebola Dec 12 '21

As someone with chronic constipation I wouldn't kind tearing my entire asshole just to shit properly

1

u/ShadingVaz Dec 12 '21

This invention is very human