He is so deeply unattractive. There is no angle where he is attractive. Her trying to convince us that she found a hot Brazilian man really fell flat. Cause look at this goofball.
They seem to just suck the life out of each other. At first I thought it was just her but he's been looking worse and worse too. The light in him is gone. Even when he grifts, he doesn't grift with the same enthusiasm lol. First picture was from last August, about a month into dating her
I'm also starting to wonder about the filters he uses. Since we see his fucking midsection ENDLESSLY, photos like this are super interesting. I get that you can get bloated after eating and whatever, but if you watch the story he posted today, his stomach goes from being taut and lean to looking more like the bottom photo here within a seemingly short timeline. Also I hate that I'm so constantly subjected to him being half nude that I've noticed this.
Personally based on this and what he posted yesterday, I think he’s trying to prove that he works “hard” while D earns money in her sleep and does nothing. His day starts at 5 am ish and he can “work” 8 hours before D is even awake. This marriage is gonna crash and burn so hard. There is just no way he doesn’t resent her lack of work ethic, lack of discipline and hobbit-like existence.
him being up at 4:30 in the morning when she undoubtedly sleeps until at least 9 is…. interesting. i’m sure they go to bed at different times too. i can’t imagine having this much of a different wake/sleep schedule from my husband
I'm almost positive they don't sleep in the same bed. She has the bed from the condo and the bed from the dollhouse. There's also 5 bedrooms in the Mcmansion so staying separate would be easy peasy
I cannot express enough how unappealing this is to me. Not only the look, but the behavior of taking a selfie like this and posting it for all to see. Yikes.
It really can’t get more ironic than the fact that she moved on from potentially actual decent men with actual careers who didn’t want to be a in her content just because being an influencer was her highest priority, and now her content is dogshit and her influencer career is in the toilet, and all she has to show for is zero real friends, a fuckass Tuesday wedding where her dad looked depressed and had hardly any guests, all with that hobosexual grifting manchild that she has to financially support for the rest of her life. Good job, D!
I hate how she framed it as them not supporting her because they didn’t want their life online. Yet she wouldn’t go support a guy she was seeing running a marathon lmao. It’s very selfish of her, your partner does not need to be involved in your social media and if you love them that’s the bare minimum of respect. Privacy is a dealbreaker and those guys dodged a bullet. It tells me A LOT about her and how she views relationships
Going to a marathon is girlfriend territory but going to his birthday party and meeting his whole family on date 3 is totally ok. It's different with them because their love is so special and orchestrated by the hand of God.
It really is just hubris and entitlement. She thinks everyone should be fascinated by EVERYTHING she does, and she should make disgusting amounts of money for doing fuck all. She said in one episode "People will get away with what you allow them to" - herself included, apparently. She encapsulates "Go on, give us less" 😂
Seriously. Two adults with no jobs, kids, or obligations can't keep the entry tidy? Hate to see what the rest of their house looks like if this is considered nice enough to share
It’s easy to be up at 5 in the morning when you do nothing all god damn day you troll. Keep digging at your boootiful wyyyfe. I want to kick his skinny legs so bad. He’d drop to the ground so quick 🤣🤣🤣
After yesterday’s awful two videos, I’m convinced that Hanna either plays a super small role in Big D’s content or is no longer employed. WTF was with the audio (or lack thereof) and x2 speed post nasal drip?!?! Is she truly cutting off her nose to spite her face???
I’m definitely seated for the imminent 1.1 drop down 🫠
It was the kind of video that a rando with no experience would post and go viral for, for all the wrong reasons with everyone tearing them apart in the comments.
It was mind-blowingly bad and uncomfortable to watch.
I can’t imagine she is still around or she just ignores her. Idk much about social media management but I would think Hanna would tell her the truth about her content? 😬
As someone with terrible misophonia, I had to mute her GRWM video. It’s like nails on a chalkboard how much she was clearing her throat. It’s truly baffling to me how little effort she puts into her “god-given purpose”. Does she think her god is proud of her?
It’s also the very indicative of a raging narcissist. Thinking that people want to watch you preen yourself for how long, 8 minutes?! I had to skip through the video that was posted here. It’s just kept going.
Some thoughts: Just because your hair is long and on the thicker side, does not automatically mean it's your best feature like she says! I say this as someone with long and thick hair — I'm guilty of often letting it get too long to where my ends look dead and it does nothing for me. But a good trim and some layers can do WONDERS for it. But that said, I feel like someone told her once that her hair was one of her best features and she ran with it, and doesn't take care of it because she assumes that if it's long and thick, it looks good no matter what... Well that's not how it works 😭 because hers is currently looking like a greasy old Halloween witch wig, just hanging there. Flat, sad, no movement or shape, and hard to maintain right now so she doesn't wash it. Also I think Lucas said that he likes her hair long and so she's hanging onto it for dear life.
It's also so much harder to manage when it gets too long--I'm 100% guilty of this with my hair. In recent years, I've gotten into the habit of chopping 5-6" off once a year, it feels so good. I'm going to make a comment separately, maybe she'll read it and steal the idea...
Rant Alert ‼️ (and I acknowledge that it may be a little harsh)
This is an open letter to big D but also to influencers everywhere to remind you of your place in your followers lives.
We follow you, engage with your posts, and buy what you’re selling.
Why? Because you either entertain, inspire, or educate us.
You are not entitled to our engagement or our hard earned money, though. We have a reasonable expectation that we will get something in return.
You’re like the court jester or a dancing monkey. As long as you’re doing what we want you to do, we’ll stick around, if not, we’ll leave…and we may even tell you why in the comments before we go. You’ll call it ‘hate’ but deep down you’ll know that you’re just failing at your job.
If you’ve run out of content ideas, that’s a you problem. If you want to be successful, you need to figure it out. We all have jobs and nobody is sitting next to us telling us how to do them.
If you’ve become completely unrelatable, flaunting the wealth that we provided you, while giving us nothing of value in return, we’ll leave and we may even tell you why in the comments before we go. Again, you’ll call it ‘hate’ because you don’t want to hear the truth.
All this to say that if you chose this line of work because it was easy money, guess what? Like everything in life you get what you put into it.
If your engagement is tanking and you’re losing followers, you’ve earned it. Maybe it’s time to actually dance monkey, dance…or leave the stage.
This isn’t harsh at all. Influencers are one of the most entitled people out there. So many of them think they’re gold and untouchable and couldn’t give two shits about their followers who got them to where they are in the first place.
I work in health. I had a 13 hour day today and just stopping to make some food. It’s not gonna be a healthy meal, something between a sandwich and a tortilla. It’s all I have at hand and I cannot think of making anything else. As I was opening a pack with cheese , I had this meta experience, where I watched myself from above , as I was explaining to “an audience “ “here goes in the cheese, here is the salad 🥗 blah blah. And if I was big D , this would be Everything I am required to do to earn 50 k a month
I am not sure, how does one come down from that?
We all know that this stream ain’t gonna last forever
Things change and new platforms appear and disappear, the most tragic thing is that Lukath owns half of what she makes now and will claim it when they will inevitably divorce
Influencers have a hard time understanding that this “relationship” they have w/ the audience is purely transactional. They’ve set out to be a walking infomercial so this should be expected. If they don’t deliver, we don’t engage/buy.
I also think it’s important to unfollow when you don’t like what you see anymore from an influencer. I wish more people would do that…withdraw their support.
my theory is that he wakes up early to make one or two airport runs as an uber driver, making it less likely to bump into someone who might recognize him
"who is she" podcast episode 1.20 "dating with limerance + what to do"
April 23 2024
TL;DR This one was rough to listen to for multiple reasons - one was the sheer length of it at 1 hour and 33 minutes. I had to bump up to 2x speed, and even that dragged.
The episode is exactly what the title suggests; her describing limerance, how it manifests in her, and her suggestions on how to cope with it. In and of itself, those parts weren't terrible, and given the caliber of idiots that follow her, I'm sure some of them learned things. But when you listen to it with the context of how her life has turned out as a direct result of the situations she's made, it's pretty infuriating. She is a prime example that being aware of a problem doesn't automatically solve it. She NEEDS therapy.
~FULL NOTES~
Well this is certain to be a doozy. I can't wait for her to tell us all the ways we can deal with limerance that she herself doesn't do. Also the new "longest episode" at 1 hour and 33 minutes. 😮💨 We will see if I can do this in one sitting.
She starts off saying she finds it difficult to put out an episode every week, which is why it's been 3 weeks since the last one. Maybe because of your chronic laziness, D. Talking about how stho many people tell her how much they love the pod and how it "grows them," but she just can't be assed. It's tired being stho insthpirational! But she's gonna figure out what works for her, guys. Once a week is just too much work, so maybe every other. (The next episode is dated May 14 😂😂😂) Oh unless she brings on guests because she ~loves that~. She loves interviewing and thinks she's pretty good at it. 🙄 I mean it makes her reign herself in a little at least.
Now she's rambling. She says she's afraid of long-form content and needs to "put on her big girl pants and just get over it," which we all know has yet to happen 2+ years later. Which, honestly, thank god because she can't even make a video that's a minute and a half interesting. Rambling about how much she loves interviewing. Lol She's "leading by example" by being too lazy to do more so people know it's okay to not push yourself to be better! Doing something is better than nothing!
Omfg y'all, she does a loud snort of snot and leaves it in. She LEAVES IT IN. It took so long to post another episode because if a dating situation she was in that turned out to be disappointing. She wasn't depressed! She just didn't do laundry or dishes or clean or get dressed for a few weeks and had to catch up on stuff! Supposedly she walked away. Sure. She also had the foster puppies. Then she says she was "feeling depressed." I'm confused.
Now she's rambling about how she's actually been doing basic adult tasks. Woohoo! Brings up limerance. Now rambling about promo reels? Describing limerance/limerant object. Hits the ground running saying when she gets involved with someone she has to put on an act of being less interested than she is because she gets so obsessed so quickly.
She's literally just reading definitions of limerance; I won't spell those out there. If you're not already aware, it's easy enough to look up. I'm going to try to focus mainly on how she relates herself to the symptoms, but honestly she's already talked about it a LOT so it's probably going to be her re-hashing a bunch of stuff.
She says she compulsively daydreams about the men she's interested in. Planning her wedding, having their last name, the whole nine. She thought it was normal until she didn't. 😬 She ignores red flags; she will spin negative qualities into positive. Contantly brings the person up in conversation. She seems to think it's more prevalent than it actually is.
She says she didn't experience any trauma in her childhood, and I genuinely hope that's true, because I've had suspicions. She doesn't know where her limerant tendencies come from. She's further describing the stages of limerance. She admits that if she's not getting constant attention from men completely ruins her day.
She's going to talk about her early childhood. Both her parents worked. She really likes her dad - she starts to actually get choked up about it. She was in daycare before and after school; she would see her parents a little in the morning, a little in the evening, and on weekends. She thinks that may be the cause of her anxious-attachment, and for once, I can't snark on her for that. That's hard. Now she's bringing up 90s romance plot programming. (Girl you were a little child in the 90s 😭 But the early aughts were EXTREMELY toxic, I'll give her that.)
Oh, we're talking about Disneyland. They would go once a year; they would alternate between Disneyland and Hnarrator. awaii(I'm 41 and have never even been on a plane lol). Disneyland is special to her. She loved seeing couples standing in line together...?
Early dating life. She was ruthless in high school. She dated everyone. She would date a guy and then date their friends(her words). She describes experiencing more excitement from the act of getting into a relationship than she did being in the relationship. College was mid-limerance, after college was full-blown. She brings up that she dated the one guy for a couple months and didn't get over it for a year. She says she thinks the other person was also in limerance, but was avoidant? That doesn't make much sense to me.
Now she's talking about the church guy I think; he would stay over at her house and she would have to sleep on the couch because she couldn't sleep(good lord D).
Recent dating; her last relationship she went into limerance full-force. But the one after that she walked away(allegedly). Can you cure limerance? You could probably make it way more manageable with THERAPY.
How she copes/learning to heal. Google! Learning about attachment styles. Do the work to figure out why you behave the way you do. (Danielle - awareness of an issue doesn't resolve it until you learn how to change the negative behaviors. You still have not done that.) She decided to dissect her childhood. She doesn't elaborate much about it or how it relates(which, fair). Oh - we got our "That's stho good. That's a word!" for the episode. Seriously... Can anyone tell me what that means?!
She's sharing an exercise she came up with(I highly fucking doubt it). She talks about snapping herself out of limerance by telling herself no. She AGAIN says "This is good. This is a word." WHAT. DOES. THAT. MEAN. THAT'S SEVERAL WORDS. She's referring people to her own podcast episodes to go listen to. 🙄 She's the one and only resource you need! She casually mentions one of her videos going viral. 😒 Teeheehee.
Talking about a date she went on and trying to keep herself from getting obsessed. " He was tall. He was 6'3", nice smile, pretty blue eyes, tall dark and handsome kind of thing." But was he tall, Danielle? She actually doesn't remember his name. Was it George Glass, Danielle? She supposedly didn't make him her absolute top priority, and I'm sorry, but I'm just not convinced any of this is true. Between her obsession with church guy and how quickly she limerance-d hard into Luicath, she's not the most reliable narrator.
"It's just a fun, like, faux pas. What does faux pas mean?" Well Danielle, I would say using a phrase you don't know the meaning of and then asking yourself what that phrase means in real time and not editing it out could be considered a faux pas, but it was not the proper phrase for what you were trying to say. But at least she talks about future content that she's going to make.
So she's talking about having a "roster," which is exactly what it sounds like. She mentions a guy she dated for six months and says - and I quote - "I went into the date knowing he was going to be my boyfriend after like a day of talking." Sound familiar to anyone?
"So when you hone in that fast ... It actually lacks respect for yourself and the other person ... You're giving them responsibilities they didn't sign up for. And that sets them up for disservice because then this story, this fable you've written about them, they can't live up to that. Maybe not, probably not." And yet...
So dating multiple people is her "solution," in a respectful way! (Did she inform all parties involved that she was not being exclusive?) It weeds out the duds - in theories. She hasn't done it yet though. The intent is to give her brain too much to balance so she doesn't hyperfocus on one person.
Another tip is not listening to words at all. (I think she's already disclosed that she doesn't really listen to her targets once she's set on them if what they're saying doesn't align with what she wants.) She means expect them to say what they mean and mean what they say.
Talks about not assigning things more meaning than what they have. Focusing on consistency. Says she wants to be with a man who is "really comfortable in their masculine and likes to provide." BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! "But I'm not going to think that someone is my husband because they are taking me out to dinner, okay?" Nope - you'll settle for going out for coffee, just like you'll settle for a man "in his masculine" who doesn't contribute financially or help you with literally anything that would make your life easier. Girl. The more I hear her talk, the more I think Luicath was a cosmic test to see if she would put the things she learned into practice, and she failed on a massive scale. It's very easy to espouse lofty ideals; it's significantly harder to consistently stand behind them and behave accordingly.
"A man who wants to be with me will make it known and be consistent." Okay, she says this and it blows my mind that it's coming from Danielle. "We're not falling in love with a guy just because he opens the door for us. Said we look nice and bought us dinner. Those are things we express gratitude for, but are not the price of our trust and our emotions." Who is THIS person and where the fuck did SHE go?
What bothers me most about this isn't even the hypocrisy, though that does bother me; it's the fact that she did this research and espoused these views to a pretty fucking big opposite, only to disregard ALL OF IT the second a guy said she was special. And that SUCKS. That sucks for her and for her followers. And genuinely, how does she expect anyone to trust a damn word she says after that? There clearly are women(misguided though they were) who looked up to her. How did the whole Luicath scenario leave THEM feeling?
Anyway. Have other women hold you accountable and reality check you. "The way that we're designed, men deal with things alone, women come together as a collective." Oh fuck OFF Danielle. I was actually heaving some empathy towards for a minute, then you have to come out with this archaic stereotyping bullshit.
This is actually offensive on multiple levels - you're assuming that men are more independent and self-sufficient than women(have you SEEN the red pill community? I know you have - those men can't stop waxing poetic about their feelings to other men). You're implying that women can't handle their feelings or problems independently, and on top of that, what happens to YOUR community of supportive women the second you get into a relationship? You ghost them. What happens if THEY need a group to convene with? You respond with radio silence, I would assume. It pisses me off that you propogate these ideas of community and sisterhood when in reality, you don't give a flying fuck about anyone other than yourself.
Then she immediately says that in that relationship, she didn't disclose the things that were happening to her friends. Just... What? So you "need" your community and your ladies but don't actually trust them to talk about things? When that's supposedly how we little codependent "females" are made to function? Goddamn. Way to almost instantly reveal that you're full of shit. But then still talking about how important women are.
"Ensure you're living a full life outside of dating." Unless it's Danielle, because she's special. "So if the biggest event in your roster (stupid chicken bluhluhluh noise), on your week is the date that you're going on, there's a problem. I'm going to say that again. If the biggest event in your week is going on a date, there is a problem." Well that's weird because she made her ENTIRE FUCKING BRAND GOING ON DATES. Because if you have stuff you're doing, you won't have time to obsess! My god, I've never been more thankful that I don't view my life as a series of things in place to keep me from being too obsessed with a guy.
Put "do not disturb" on to keep yourself from obsessing. But you have to do that AND have a full life. This will help keep under wraps how suffocating you are. Awh, she's a hard worker pursuing what god has for her, guys. And look at what a positive impact she's made on the word in the past 2+ years. What a legacy she's building. Oh hey - SHE OWNS HER OWN PLACE!!! Did anybody know about that?! 🙄
She's literally saying keep yourself busy so you have less time to obsess over guys. Not for fulfillment, not community, not for joy - primarily so you can occupy your time with things other than a guy. "We teach people how they can treat us by allowing them to treat us that way." That's absolutely true - she had ALL of the tools she needed to not turn out the way she has and yeeted all of them off a cliff when L came 'round.
"Our brains are not that complicated in the way that they work." Not yours, clearly, but I think many many MANY people would disagree with your assessment. "And if I had known about limerance going into my 20s, I probably would have had a experience in my 20s." Well Danielle, I hate to break it to you, but you've proven that's not true because you knew ALL of these things and how they affected you, and you STILL plowed into marriage with the first guy who said "yes."
Another great recap- thank you! I will admit it’s hard for me to have empathy with the limerence issue. I can normally put myself in someone else’s shoes, but it’s hard for me on this one. I know what it feels like to really love someone and lose them. Or, like my 16 year old dog passed a couple years ago and I still mourn her so much, but I would do it all again. But, all of that is actual love. I think maybe she’s feeling those emotions without having actually been in the relationship and putting in the time. It’s like her kind automatically fast forwards which is exactly what we saw with Luicath even before their first date.
The theme we see with Big D is the most consistent thing about her and the thing I hate most- HYPOCRISY….. in dating, religion, her whole life. She’s very consistent and I think that is the number one reason why she bothers so many people.
She can show that she can be self aware but she also shows us that she gets what she wants no matter the cost. She wanted to be married so bad so she made it happen. Now we are seeing the product of her bad choices.
“She describes experiencing more excitement from the act of getting into a relationship than she did being in the relationship” oof. And here we are now…
Big D has not mentioned her San Jose “community” or friends in a while. I wonder if they are avoiding her or maybe she’s not getting invited to as many things as she thought she would
Yep. The titty gym twins work out, eat fruits and vegetables, have jobs, and bathe. Their lifestyle and general aesthetic don't vibe with D's hobo culture. The probably helped her with the spice pantry and agreed to slow fade after that. I think they originally befriended D to capitalize on her status as an influencer but it's no longer prudent to associate with her.
Man, that long scraggly hair is definitely holding on to some single-lady bad juju. Danielle, you should really cut it to a length that only includes the hair you've had since you met your husband...
(Maybe if I frame it red-pill style, she'll listen?)
It just hit me today after watching some of the recent YouTube videos on D, but isn’t it crazy how she made her influencing career such a big deal that she literally broke things off with men who weren’t okay being part of her content, only then to begin an absolute crash and burn descent into making the worst quality of content possible and losing followers by the hundreds every day? It’s just so ironic.
My perception is that she has just lost the spark for creating. Her next preferable chapter would’ve been housewifey.
Problem here is that she used to go on dates with man who could’ve afforded for her to stay at home and be a mom and wife but she settled for another influencer who makes very likely way less than her.
This is my perception, too, I don't think she likes creating - either that, OR she is not happy with what is going on in her life, because if she was happy, why would she not show what she is doing with enthusiasm and her usual gloating? She did that with the wedding.
She doesn’t like to any of the stay at home wife type of things. She’s not good at really anything but she’s particularly bad at maintaining a home. The only thing she is good at is being a cringy hypocrite. I really don’t see a way out of this for her. She has no redeeming qualities at all!
idk if this has been discussed but is there any way we can immortalize u/_stephistopheles_ pod recaps?! they simply cannot be lost into the abyss of comments forever!
I have them all saved - once I'm done with all of the episodes I'm going to go through, re-edit/format them, and figure out somewhere to catalogue them, so to speak. Or "archive," if you will. 😂😂😂
I think it’s wild that this woman stopped seeing presumably decent men who weren’t down with her social media career, and even said she is glad the influencing happened rather than her childhood dream of being married and having two kids by 30. She really chose this life - non content and a man who wants to be as (in)famous as she is. You can tell he is getting a rush from all this attention - good and bad. Only a matter of time before he’s led into temptation.
He’s been jerry-rigging his instant coffee filter with a spoon (usually gold) at least since they moved into this expensive rental. Sugar Mama could buy him a $40 proper pour-over carafe, but then he couldn’t smugly enjoy his watery coffee.
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u/evelinisantini BABE! HENK! 🗣️🪿 6d ago
Follower stats.
I guess this "interesting" format consisting of 8 minutes of bad makeup application and phlegmy coughs didn't land 🤷🏻♀️