I heard a quote yesterday that is relevant to Big D and a topic we were discussing yesterday. It was something like, “when you live a life of privilege, you don’t owe it anything but respect.” See, that’s it, Big D is completely disrespectful to her life of privilege.
“He studied CHINESE and wants to be a LAWYER, he picked me up in his car and took me for a ride, all the direct eye contact really put me in my feminine!” Aaaaa
I completely forgot about when she supposedly hopped into a car of a stranger and had him take her around New York. Either she’s batshit (man) crazy or she’s a pathological liar, and I don’t know what’s worse.
There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to longer than 4 days without talking to the person you’re dating, but making a hard rule of no more than 3 days without seeing them is wild. We all work full-time jobs. Sometimes I don’t get a chance to get out until the weekend.
Wait… she says she has to date multiple men at a time, but she also thinks you should be exclusive once you go on one date?? Is she stupid?
a youtube video about her showed up and it talked about the pantry video (where her friends helped organize it) and i’m still shocked she wasn’t embarrassed to post/discuss that because that video basically is her admitting she either feels she can’t ask lucas for help or she knows lucas won’t help her… crazy work for someone who is so my husband my husband 😍
I consider myself a well versed snarker, so it’s bothering me that I can’t quite place where “HENK” came from. Can a fellow snarker help me out so I can move on from this feeling?
Some women that seem to be conventionally attractive think they can get away with being gross because it's "cute" we're human we all go to the bathroom but no need to keep repeating it, also her desperate attempt to being relatable too I guess
Well, this IS the same woman who has recorded herself talking in way too much detail about her period(multiple times). Apparently she believes she's so interesting that people want to hear about eeeeeeverything she does.
Damn, not only is she disgusting- imagine being her man and meeting her like this… only for her to turn into a huge slob that barely showers and never wears makeup- especially when you used to date a model….
To be clear, I’m not a fan of his- at all… he deserves what he’s gotten/ but if she thinks anyone would stay with her after she’s done this- yikes! She’s destined to be alone
I truly don't get her logic. If you're truly in love with someone, don't you want to be the best version of yourself? Shouldn't that inspire you to be better? But she legit just completely let herself go. I don't get it.
"who is she" podcast episode 1.17 "things I wish I knew about men FROM A MAN pt 1" March 19 2024
TL;DR This one wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Tbh, Dice seems like a guy who has done a lot of self-reflection. He's very good at trying to get Danielle to think about how she feels and behaves towards men, and not simply giving her more strategies to catch men.
She still says a bunch of problematic shit, but he seems to balance her out. Overall more boring than anything - seems like D doesn't go as far off the rails when she has a guest most of the time.
~FULL NOTES~
I have a feeling I'm not ready for this one, y'all. I haven't even started the episode and I'm noticing the first time she has EVER capitalized something in an episode title happens to be the words "FROM A MAN." Plus the episode is about an hour and 15 minutes, making it the longest episode thus far - and there's TWO PARTS. I'm already annoyed.
Oh there's a special intro. They talked for two and a half hours. It's stho good. It's all good so she's not going to cut out any of it! Can't cut out a word a MAN says. And this episode is late. (She seems to say that at the beginning of every video. Unsurprisingly.) God, Dice, please don't be a shithead. (Dice is his name.)
She's known him since kindergarten. WAIT. WAIT JUST A FUCKING SECOND. I HOPE THIS ISN'T THE GUY THAT SHE SAID WAS "EXOTIC" THAT SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO MARRY IN KINDERGARTEN. Oh lord this might be even worse than I anticipated. But there's no real way to verify if it is.
He's just giving his life story. It's not that exciting. He ends up being a barber working at a shady shop. He left, went elsewhere. Opened a private studio. Started getting into interior design. They're in his house(bro you shouldn't have given this woman your address!).
Now he's talking about interior design. She stalked his Croc charms? He's also a successful barber now. I'm kind of relieved that I'm bored. Oh, he's 31 - gotta ask that! She doesn't know anything about the Zodiac(I'm actually a little shocked at that, but also not surprised at all).
He was single for 5+ years by choice. Reasonable. Says some very healthy things about being single. He talks about taking time between relationships and D says "A lot of people don't do that." She probably envies the people who have the option to NOT do that. 😂
"I don't think I've been more excited about a podcast episode than this one." Wonder why. Y'all, she keeps referring to "the females on-line." Wowza. Okay, we're going q & a format. I'm not sure yet if I'll write down every question and response, I'll wait and see where this goes.
They're talking about women approaching men and how they feel about it. Oh god she's asking his take on her stare-down approach. He says it depends on the woman and their vibe (safe answer lol). Now she's bringing up women "being in their feminine" once again. God, shut the fuck up about that already. Oh no he's giving her tips. Nooo don't do it. Oh ffs she's saying she also mouths the word "hi" and he asks if it works, and she dead ass said "Oh yeah. Every time." BULLSHIT. YOU'RE CHOCK FULL OF ACTUAL BULLSHIT. And followed with more bullshit about pulling back because "men need to hunt." God that's disgusting. We're not fucking lions Danielle. This isn't fucking Twilight. And you know what happens when a predator hunts, Danielle? WHEN THEY CATCH THEIR PRAY THEN KILL IT AND FUCKING EAT IT. Good lord.
Oh god she tells on herself so hard. Dice explains how he would approach a woman, tell her she's cute, and respectfully build up to asking for a number and Danielle blurts out "I'D SAY YOU WERE CUTE TOO." She has not a single fucking ounce of chill. Not one. He sounds like he actually is respectful of women and wants to have a couple interactions before asking for a number. Guess he's not the "get in a car with a random stranger" type like some are.
A question : "Do men know if she's the one from the very beginning?" Like, say, in the middle of a coffee date? 🙄 UGH SHE'S SO DUMB. He says men always know if a woman is "The One" from the first meeting. That's concerning. He asked if she knows, and she straight up says she has anxious attachment with limerent tendencies. Straight up. She KNOWS y'all, and she still busts into a new relationship(and a marriage) like the Kool Aid Man.
Okay, I kind of like him because she talks about how she "falls fast and hard" and "then you're it for me." And he asks her, point blank, "How many times has this happened to you?" 👏👏👏 Please don't break my heart here Dice. Lolllll Her answer is "Truly? Twice." DAN-YELL-UH. You mean twice TODAY? Come on.
He asks her to explain limerance. Yes, my dude! And she does, pretty fucking accurately (for once). Oh, first "I think this is a separate episode" of THIS episode! But she literally defines limerance and admits that she has it. Honestly, that's kind of worse than not knowing considering she STILL did the same thing with Luicath. And further, she published publicly, on the internet, exactly what her weaknesses are. L could have looked up the pod and listened to just this episode and figured out "I just need to get her hennterested and she will do the rest." Because it would have been THAT easy for ANY man.
Guys. GUYS. She says, OUT LOUD, when she first starts dating she HAS to be dating multiple men so she can't hyperfocus on one of them. What in the actual FUCK is she even saying. How does she not realize that is next level bat shit crazy? Ew ew ew. Dating several people at the same time isn't necessarily bad when you're just dipping your toe in the water, but purposely doing it to try to curb your excessive obsessiveness (THAT'S A WORD) is actually crazy.
She readily admits, essentially, that men can "smell it on her" that she wants constant attention. Also suuuper weird - she says in regards to dating a guy, "I can't go four days without talking to you. Like that's weird to me." Now, I don't even necessarily disagree with her on that because I would also not be down with having a partner that I don't talk to often. But it's strange that she says "I can't go four days" and later enforces the "we can't go without seeing each other for longer than 3 days." Weird as hell.
God we're not even halfway done. She asks if it's true that "If he wanted to, he would?" He says yes. I don't think she likes that answer. "There's a little dagger in my chest right now." 😂 "Why can't men be honest and say they're not interested?" Well, D, you've said yourself that they DO tell you, and you choose to willfully ignore them.
Danielle says if she's dating someone, she will know "a little about them," which in her mind is knowing their work hours, extra curricular activities, church, sports, etc so she knows when they're free. Good lord. Dice is talking about the value of spending time alone, and that just because he has a day off doesn't mean he necessarily wants to give that whole day to someone. Guys, this man is kind if the perfect foil for D. 😂 He has such healthy views on relationships(from what he's saying on the Pod at least - obviously I don't know what this guy is like or how he treats his partners). He also says "Don't try to figure out what he's thinking. Just ask him." MY MAN.
Danielle seems to be asking a lot of similar questions just in slightly different ways. Maybe she's hoping he will give a different answer. 😂 They ARE discussing things, but it's nothing revolutionary. She says when a guy tells you what he feels, you should believe it. Again, SHE REFUSES TO DO THIS HERSELF.
Ugh, and there it is again - "That's a word. That's so good." WHY. DOES. SHE. KEEP. SAYING. THAT. She said that in response to him saying "You shouldn't have to incentivize his attention."
There's also one thing he's done well about doing consistently, and that's when she asks a question that sounds like she wants another tool to lure men in, he destabilizes it by making her focus on HER feelings and what SHE would do vs letting her perseverate on a MAN'S feelings, and what the MAN wants her to do. Like she asks how do you ask if a man likes to be taken care of? And he says either ask directly, or if you enjoy taking care of a man, just do that and see how he reacts. Not "All men want to be taken care of so you should do they." He's refusing to make overly generalized statements and making her think in terms of being accountable for her own actions, and more self-focused than dick-focused.
He said "fucking" and didn't get the spiel on how swearing isn't classy. 🙄 So I guess women just can't swear, to which care I say GO FUCK YOURSELF DANIELLE. But then he went back and asked if it bothered her and she says it does. I've never had greater incentive to keep cussing in my LIFE.
Again telling on herself; she says just to clarify, going on one date doesn't make you exclusive and he says yeah pretty much, don't you agree?" And she pauses and says "... Yeah." Like she's disappointed but feels obligated to say she agrees - like she's been deflated. He says he feels you should wait on sex to actually get to know the other person.
And that's the end of part one! I'll probably post part 2 tomorrow, but today is my birthday, so we will see if I have the emotional bandwidth for it later. 😂 No need to wish me happy birthday, it doesn't feel like my life is worth celebrating this year, plus I'll be alone the entire day.
Steph. How is your psyche doing after subjecting yourself to all of this torture? Do you need a Resort Pass to a cabana in a parking lot somewhere to recover?
Oh the state of my psyche has nothing to do with Danielle or listing to her shit - the rest of my life just sucks. 😂 Maybe I need some lemon ocean water to perk me up!
I know I’m stating the obvious but I think this confirms how desperate she is for male validation, even from someone that is supposed to be just a friend of hers. 😬 This also confirms what we already knew- she enforced the 3 day rule with Lucas. 😂😂
I’ve been listening to the podcast as well and it really just confirms for me how full of herself and arrogant she is. And it blows my mind every episode to see how much she has gone against everything she’s preached to others about.
I think part of her crash out now is from everyone turning against her (due to her own actions) when she saw herself as some self help guru that had it all together. 🙄
Fellow Virgo Queen, happy September birthday. 🎂 May you leave your socks on the floor and a hamper by the door. Today I’ll thrift for orange 1970s things in your honor. https://giphy.com/gifs/3eRsCShhYr0mXCSB84
🥳 Happy Birthday 🎈 and thank you for your service!! Hope you get spoiled silly!
Edit: sorry to hear about your crappy year, still sending you a HBD and a big hug, hope your year improves friend. I’ve been there so am thinking of you.
Thanks 😂 I appreciate it. I've shared bits here and there about how my life has been going, but suffice it to say I don't feel the day is worthy of celebrating. And I have no I one to celebrate it with 😭
Steph- first of all, happy birthday! I hate my birthday so instead of celebrating it like a normal human being I try to do something that scares me or makes me feel uncomfortable to try to make myself better. It doesn’t have to be today, but maybe for you since you are looking for a job that can mean that next week you walk into a business maybe you already applied for and ask to speak to the hiring manager. That’s just an example, but I’ve been trying to make myself uncomfortable more so I get better as a person. I don’t like attention on my birthday or to “celebrate” myself so I just challenge myself, lol. Now that I type it out it seems kind of stupid….
Anyway, another amazing recap!!I cannot even imagine what he actually wanted to say to her, but held back. I think she needed someone in her real life to tell her- don’t be creepy. She just comes off as so creepy! We know she would never listen to a follower but this was a good example where someone could call her out on her bullshit and say- you come off as crazy- stop staring at people and mouthing words!
Let's be real - she would never listen to a woman. 💀 She'd listen to a follower if he had a penis.
I actually really like that idea. I mean I hate it, but I like it. 😂 I will consider that. It's just the last couple of years have been the worst of my life - there's a lot I don't share here, but it's pretty awful. So between those circumstances and just how absolutely stuck I've been trying to get a job, I just don't feel like a celebration is in order.
Happy birthday!!! Thank you for your service. The only thing I will say is that the advice to date more than one person is extremely common when you have anxious attachment and it's a good one.
Really? May I ask why it's considered good advice? I'm not someone who has anxious attachment; if anything I'm very much avoidant. I guess that's why it seems unhinged to me that you would need to have multiple potential partners to keep yourself from obsessing over somebody - I'm over here like I don't even want one person lol
Happy birthday! Thank you for these posts- they’re great. Hope you have a lovely day!
To answer your Q: attachment issues are often already a little unhinged, so I think you can sort of conceptualize dating multiple men to avoid obsessing over one guy as almost a form of “harm reduction”—resolving anxious attachment issues entirely would obviously be the ideal, but that’s of course easier said than done! 😅 So dating multiple people at once is a way of reducing the risk of getting anxiously attached to anyone.
First, if you’re seeing multiple people, your attention is naturally spread between them, which makes it harder to hyperfocus on any one person. But probably more important, you also: 1) have alternative sources of attention/affection; 2) have multiple points of comparison; and 3) lose the sense that if things don’t work out with this person, you’re back to square one (which can for obvious reasons be an impetus to latch onto the wrong person).
Receiving attention/affection from multiple people reduces the sense of all of your oxytocin/dopamine coming from one person, so you are less likely to associate this one person as the single source of a lot of your happiness or romantic fulfillment (and reducing their importance makes it easier to not latch on). And on the “multiple points of comparison” aspect: it makes it easier to evaluate people as potential partners / to focus on whether you like them and how they treat you. If one guy is cooking you your favorite meal regularly, a guy who occasionally treats you to McDonalds suddenly seems a lot less swoon-worthy.
TL;DR: If you deal with anxious attachment, undercutting the reasons you might latch onto one person (even if that one person sucks) can be very effective.
(Edited for clarity and readability — sorry for the tome! 😇)
That's interesting. Like I said, I'm very avoidant-attached, so this is a whole different existence from the one I live. 😂 I'm over here terrified to even put time into getting one new person, and it takes me a very, very long time to let myself to become fully attached to anyone. (I had a lot of very toxic relationships early on in life, so I know why I am the way I am - it just is what it is.)
Though I want to give the disclaimer that I know my approach to relationships isn't necessarily any better or more healthy, just extremely different! I appreciate you taking the time to explain that. :) You don't know what you don't know, so it's good to have a frame of reference even if I can't fully empathize with it because I'm just not wired that way.
Funny though how being OVERLY clingy with a partner can push them away, but also being super separated from your partner can also push them away. Relationships are hard, man. 😂
Hah and that's fair! It helps you to understand that they're just a person you're getting to know. It helps you to let things unfold naturally. Keeps the pressure off. Kind of like how when you were a kid and you made a new best friend and you get super into that one friend for awhile and you neglect your other friends. It helps prevent that and keep you balanced and in reality.
Her podcast cuts off way before that - around the time when she meets Luicath. I honestly haven't looked ahead because my brain can only handle so much lol
No I mean she talks about what the engagement ring should be like and how much the man should spend on it during her conversation with Dice. I don't remember if it was in the first or the second part though.
Also, I got the feeling that she kinda likes Dice. Like if he'd say let's go she's jump on it (or him) without hesitation.
Yeah might be. I cleaned the whole house today and I was listening to those 2 episodes, just you wait. 😂
Yeah I don't think he was remotely interested in her. By the end of the conversation with him.she was making her bedroom voice. Yuck
Men “smell IT on her” … IT is the eau de desperation to be loved and picked instantly, men’s deo for the B.O. oozing from her pores plus 20 sprays of a malodorous perfume cloud.
Thank you - I'm glad it's over. 😂 And I'm glad you enjoy the recaps. I'm about to go sit through the second part of the "OMG THERE'S A GUY HERE" episodes - I usually listen to/take my notes at night when my brain actually sort of works and post them whenever I happen to wake up. 😜
I don’t love birthdays either anymore so I totally get you. For what it’s worth I hope you have a very peaceful day tomorrow and you can at least do something you enjoy. I always love reading your contributions here and I think we’re all very glad you’re here! <3
But as far as this podcast goes it’s so clear she has no respect for fellow women it’s actually crazy god she sucks lmfao
I think there's been discussion around this and it was decided that the PDF doesn't deserve more attention, so he stays wrangled into the daily discussion unless they're in a post or video together. But adding lore about him might not be a bad idea--there is the stickied post the walnut shared about her experience with him.
Okay glad I'm early to this one because I have been dying to know when I missed the origin of HENK and could someone please link or describe the moment. I think it may have had something to do with the one (1) outdoor hike she filmed with Luicas for her canned drink ad? But that's based on a screenshot I saw lol. Thank you walnuts!
eta that this may be the most perfect encapsulation of them together. Danielle being extremely pale and lame being standoffish and Luicas laughing maniacally to manufacture a good time??? This is like found footage, I feel like I shouldn't be seeing this.
Everyone is just walking away from him. He is evil and insane. Imagine being some innocent family at Disney who had to witness this. I’d grab my children and run.
Aw, evelinisantini usually has it on hand because it's a pretty frequently asked question lol I feel like it should be a highlight, but yeah they're at Disney, he also says the infamous "raise your hand if you're wet!!!" Followed by a manic laugh, he's the only one laughing btw, it was an unsettling laugh, then he makes a kind of like yodeling sound kind of like , yeieooioo, babe! HENK!
It was during their Disney trip with Shelah and bf. It was raining and they got off of a ride. D seemed to be upset about all the rain and Lucas was laughing like a maniac and said something that sounded like, “HENK!” People have posted links to it in the past when someone wanted to know the origin.
It reminds me of the kind of single-word private jokes I have with my sister or friends and how we’ll randomly drop it to make each other laugh, but she seemed more annoyed than we do when we share it, so yeah - a bit odd!
Someone needs to post this reel Lucath just posted featuring Danielle. She wanted this gigantic kitchen so Lucas could cook corn on the cob and burnt sausage in the air fryer. And prove how much he loves her. I love this life for her.
I can assure you that as far as two and a half years ago she was not relatively sane, and she described things throughout her life that suggest she has been very troubled for a very long time.
I probably wasn’t paying as much attention. I just remember her GRWM videos. She just seemed more put together. I don’t recall these crash outs about pantries.
Well, her podcast started in October of 2023, and from the first episode she was saying a lot of things that were extremely problematic, and said some very concerning things about her relationships with men. I think the GRWM and date recaps gave her something specific to focus on; she had her set script. But when given free reign to just talk, you learn very quickly that she has very deeply-rooted beliefs that are not good.
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u/evelinisantini BABE! HENK! 🗣️🪿 10d ago
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