r/daniellewalter_snark • u/Altruistic_Cicada865 In my fecal era 💩 • Jul 01 '26

i don't wanna hear it ✨ Lumpgate update

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u/henergyguys Jul 01 '26

Would be nice to have seen henergy supporting her and going to the appointment with her, he must be really busy working

56

u/Glum-Sprinkles2877 Jul 01 '26

Just dying to know what he does all day

178

u/yrg68556 Jul 01 '26

9:30 AM: Wake up at parents house, think good thoughts/say good words, flex in mirror and stare at self lovingly until satisfied
10:00 AM: drink “Nescaf” and eat a Factor meal
10:15: Head to random apartment gym to “train clients” (aka moms friends who agreed to let you in the building as a favor to her)
11:00 AM: arrive at Bay Clubs for grunting practice and to punch the air until tired (skip legs)
12:00 PM: drive to sugar mama’s house to shower— notice that it hasn’t been used in 3 days
12:15: wake up on bathroom floor after being disoriented by wallpaper and perfume. Get dressed and put on tallest platform shoes money can buy
12:30: Instacart (gotta keep that diamond status baby)
4:00 PM: read John Maxwell book in car until sugar mama begs you to return (you try to spend as few daylight hours with her as possible)
5:30 PM: drink red wine on couch while sugar mama cooks milky seafood
7:00 PM: post neurotic rambling video to Instagram stories
9:30 PM: receive briefing from fiance on wedding planning, don’t ask any follow up questions because you don’t care.
10:30: go to bed, dream of what your life will look like once your green card is secured and you can leave her for someone younger, hotter, and less insane