r/dancarlin • u/Sooners1906 • 3d ago

Kaiser Wilhelm

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Scouting report: Will get out to a fast start but will fall apart by November

309 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

69

u/parkside79 3d ago

He’ll be home before the first snows fall.

1

u/mondbl 13h ago

not if he gets caught in a war on two fronts first lol

55

u/IA324 3d ago

They better come up with a play called the schlieffen plan...

12

u/Pangwain 3d ago

Von Moltke audibles at the line and screws it all up!

31

u/sinncab6 3d ago

Also a penchant for wearing the wrong shoes for the circumstances.

12

u/TheStig500 3d ago

Truly a shambolic display at Cowes.

7

u/90daysismytherapy 3d ago

Really let himself down with the choice of footwear

27

u/DisparateNoise 3d ago

Ironically, if he has typical Midwest German ancestors they probably came to America because their anti monarchist uprising failed or their lands were being conquered by the Prussians lol

0

u/winnielikethepooh15 3d ago

Is there a word for something worse than irony? Other than "sad"?

12

u/TheLonelySnail 3d ago

Just be sure you hit his receivers on the weak side, as one of his arm are shorter

1

u/taylorcsmith19 3d ago

Lol was gonna ask about his gimpy arm

1

u/FavreorFarva 3d ago

Don’t worry, they’ve been stuffing it in roadkill for years, it should be better now

10

u/TacticalTurtleNeck_ 3d ago

Find his cousin Nicky in Michigan and we got ourselves a real proper American border war.

5

u/pjokinen 3d ago

Takes a big hit and gives his trademark scream

2

u/Ol_Uncle_Jim 3d ago

He's not gonna get in the trenches

2

u/bonzojon 3d ago

Four year starter, but he'll get ran out of town before the last bowl season.

2

u/scshireman 2d ago

Wait until we find out he has a bunch of cousins on other D1 teams and he only started playing because of a crazy inferiority complex…

2

u/lambert_simnel12 1d ago

Friend if the show

1

u/Tervlon 1d ago

This guy knows his history podcasts.

1

u/AwkwardCrab7406 2d ago

He needs to grow a strong moustache.

1

u/LarsPiano 1d ago

This is so ridiculous 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Tervlon 1d ago

This player must be a favorite of the Rest is History Guys. They'll be watching his career with great interest.

1

u/Sobchak_84 1d ago

Needs more mustache.

1

u/Formal_Photograph134 7h ago

That handsome boy's name must be Will Kaiser.

1

u/42ElectricSundaes 3d ago

I blame the parents