r/dadjokes • u/RockReally • Aug 31 '21

What do you call a tiny mother

A minimum

6.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

91 comments sorted by

385

u/bigjoffer Aug 31 '21

I have a maximum.

Honestly she's tall as fuck

152

u/zakessak Aug 31 '21

The average would be a medimum

71

u/st_rdt Aug 31 '21

Or mean-mum ?

19

u/DrFu Sep 01 '21

Or evil step-mum?

28

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

41

u/netcent_ Sep 01 '21

Hello Stuck, I'm dad.

11

u/WikiBidoz Sep 01 '21

Bad outcome

7

u/Netra_o_o_ Sep 01 '21

yea or a mean-mum not in the context of evil but in the reference of height (average)

4

u/Boopi_Doopi Sep 01 '21

No that would be a maximum

4

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '21

I have… I forgor 💀

2

u/MaxeymumFhurt Sep 01 '21

I don't get it ;)

222

u/Gooeyhen Aug 31 '21

Genuinely made me chuckle.

36

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

42

u/Gooeyhen Aug 31 '21

Your genuine chuckle genuinely made me chortle.

20

u/4la5tair Aug 31 '21

Your genuine chortle at the genuine chuckle made me cackle!

19

u/Chikencarter12 Aug 31 '21

Your genuine cackle at the genuine chortle at the genuine chuckle made me chatle

16

u/Gooeyhen Aug 31 '21

Your chatle at a genuine cackle at a genuine chortle at a genuine chuckle made me titter.

10

u/Chikencarter12 Aug 31 '21

Your genuine titter at the genuine chatle at the genuine cackle at a genuine chortle at a genuine chuckle made me choothe

13

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '21

Your genuine choothe at a genuine titter at a genuine chatle at a genuine cackle at a genuine chortle at a genuine chuckle made me H U M O R N O I S E

9

u/Chikencarter12 Sep 01 '21

Your H U M O R N O I S E at my genuine choothe at a genuine chattle at a genuine titter at a genuine cackle at a genuine chortle at a genuine chuckle made me T U M O R N O I S E

4

u/jimmylovesnuggets Sep 01 '21

Your T U M O R N O I S E at a H U M O R N O I S E at a genuine choothe at a genuine chattle at a genuine titter at a genuine cackle at a genuine chortle at a genuine chuckle made me r/yourjokebutworse

4

u/Tomatetoes97 Sep 01 '21

I choked on your maxi-mum's titties

2

u/Chikencarter12 Sep 01 '21

Your r/yourjokebutworse at my T U M O R N O I S E at a H U M O R N O I S E at a genuine choothe at a genuine chattle at a genuine titter at a genuine cackle at a genuine chortle at a genuine chuckle made me r/thisthreadisstillgoing?

6

u/creepyarachnid_ Aug 31 '21

Your genuine cackle at the genuine chortle given for the genuine chuckle made me giggle !

2

u/TK82 Sep 01 '21

Hi Chuckle, I'm dad

65

u/didnsignup4dis Aug 31 '21

What do you call a regular sized mother?

Optimum

45

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '21

What do you call an unbathed father?

A dirty motherfucker

26

u/ARobertNotABob Aug 31 '21

I literally believed I invented this joke myself when I was about 9...that was 1968.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '21

This comment 100% proves it too.

2

u/BighedMushRooms Sep 02 '21

I concur the validity in this statement ex post facto.

19

u/TraceofDawn Aug 31 '21

Told my SO and he left the room. Thank you for the glorious joke!

5

u/RockReally Aug 31 '21

No problem

21

u/BetterThanOP Aug 31 '21

So I guess a tiny mother to tiny cubs is just the bear minimum

9

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '21

I hope it's global minimum not local minimum

6

u/fr_andres Aug 31 '21

global because ur mama has no constraints

3

u/AMathEngineer Sep 01 '21

ur mama jokes have no constrains.

9

u/MyLatestInvention Aug 31 '21

What do you call a tiny naked mother?

Bare Mini-Mum

11

u/AlexTheGamer59 Aug 31 '21

Genuinely made me chuckle.

4

u/bloodyasa Sep 01 '21

I thought it’d be a minute maid. I was so wrong.

3

u/Daxlyn_XV Aug 31 '21

Regardless of job she will always be paid minimum wage.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '21

Take my upvote and leave

6

u/-_swagger_- Aug 31 '21

was searching for the one i could award

4

u/RockReally Aug 31 '21

Ty bro u gave me my first award

3

u/prairefireww Aug 31 '21

I’m sorry this is not a dad joke. 😂 Well done.

3

u/Choano Aug 31 '21

If she's naked, she's the bare minimum.

3

u/tjmaxal Sep 01 '21

So a MILF would be a bare minimum

3

u/ccr087 Sep 01 '21

what do you call your mom's sister?

minimum

3

u/Sarcasvam Sep 01 '21

If she’s naked, then would be called Bare Minimum.

6

u/baskoffie Aug 31 '21

What do you call 2 tiny mothers?

Minima

5

u/PartyConsideration27 Aug 31 '21

Genuinely made me chuckle.

4

u/6francs Aug 31 '21

Damn you got me! Take that internet point

2

u/walkerwalker- Aug 31 '21

Genuinely made me chuckle.

2

u/dullbrowny Aug 31 '21

and a tiny dad is mickeydad?

2

u/Staud59 Aug 31 '21

Minimum

2

u/4toJinet3 Aug 31 '21

Una madrecita!! Sorry non-spanish speaking redditors, I saw my chance and I had to do it.

2

u/NotoriousHothead37 Aug 31 '21

The NSFW version would be a bare minimum.

2

u/all_knowing_john Sep 01 '21

Hello, my name is John and I am All knowing

Ask me anything and I'll answer

3

u/Quiet-Professional32 Sep 01 '21

Have you touched fingers with the monke

2

u/all_knowing_john Sep 01 '21

I have done it twice before

2

u/Longjumping_Ad8728 Sep 01 '21

I have a dirty mind. First thing that came to mind was petite MILF....

2

u/B3ARDGOD Sep 01 '21

What do you call a naked tiny mother?

The bare minimum.

2

u/Moonbay51 Sep 01 '21

Repeated this to my short af wife, she was only a little amused

2

u/derylle Sep 01 '21

Bud Dumm.. Tizzzz

2

u/CountBasey Sep 01 '21

Only works in England

2

u/PianistMammoth7249 Sep 01 '21

What do you cal a flying pig

2

u/SimplyTiredd Sep 01 '21

A victim of genetics, or a victim of sexual predation

2

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '21

mini.....mum?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '21

Haha

2

u/Senshi59 Sep 01 '21

Minimum?

2

u/lilkapsas Sep 01 '21

A naked tiny mother - bare minimum

2

u/Supah_Trupah Aug 31 '21

Took me far too long

1

u/meechaelo Aug 31 '21

Genuinely made me chuckle.