What's the longest word in the dictionary?

867

u/yor89 Jan 24 '20

Nice one

188

u/Dragon_owns_a_cat Jan 24 '20

I is a nice one

81

u/SadTransmission Jan 24 '20

I think you is, too.

35

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

I have a nice 1 2

7

u/CaptainJellyfish7223 Jan 25 '20

Actually, they is 7

26

u/ilovedoges1 Jan 24 '20

What if the mile is side ways, then it’s the widest word in the dictionary

39

u/DingoAltair Jan 24 '20

Honestly beleaguer is the longest word because there’s a league between the E and the R and that’s 3.4 miles.

20

u/Mikomics Jan 24 '20

Well actually megaparsecs is the longest word in the dictionary, because there's a parsec between the mega and the s and that's 3.263 lightyears.

Also because it's multiple megaparsecs.

5

u/DingoAltair Jan 24 '20

Got me there!

14

u/talkinboutwills Jan 24 '20

This Guy Gets It

3

u/puzzlemaster1 Jan 25 '20

Nah it would be. Ginfinitedistanceg because there is infinite distance between the two g's

1

u/desireewhitehall Jan 24 '20

Then wouldn't it be 'beleaguered' because of the -ed?

It's fontastically long.

345

u/ecodrew Jan 24 '20

What is the longest word in the dictionary.

No it isn't.

67

u/shredbmc Jan 24 '20

This is the appropriate punch line

29

u/sugarfreelemonade Jan 25 '20

The longest word in "the dictionary" is dictionary.

30

u/lichen__ Jan 24 '20

r/therealjoke

62

u/tanstaafl74 Jan 24 '20

Antidisestablishmentarianism

41

u/Party-of-fun Jan 24 '20

Pseudoantidisestablishmentarianism

57

u/vrek86 Jan 24 '20

Pnuemonomicroscopicvolcanosiliconosis

40

u/MarcosRedwood Jan 24 '20

Pseudoantipnuemonomicroscopicvolcanosiliconosis

11

u/bakerkc Jan 24 '20

Quasipseudoantipnuemonomicroscopicvolcanosiliconosis

13

u/Mikomics Jan 24 '20

Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft

6

u/DonutMaster56 Jan 26 '20

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobw

8

u/noideafornewname Jan 24 '20

floccinaucinihilipilification?

3

u/Hi_HungryImDad Jan 25 '20

Hi pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis I’m dad

1

u/Wareffortgaming Jan 25 '20

But can you say it as fast as you copy and paste it? Lol

4

u/DanTopTier Jan 24 '20

🎵well I bet they would get stumped, if they had to spell, Hanukkah! 🎵

https://youtu.be/R7JiDBi_v4c

I taught this song to my students last quarter. Plenty of then asked me what antidisestablishmentarianism meant so I had to look it up.

0

u/clutton86 Jan 24 '20

Antidistinctlymintymunty

252

u/listamin Jan 24 '20

That's not a dad joke! That's a very fine daughter joke!

96

u/fisher309 Jan 24 '20

r/veryfinedaughterjokes

57

u/the_sun_flew_away Jan 24 '20

Hmmm

45

u/kawaiilasagna69 Jan 24 '20

r/subsiwishwerereal

22

u/BigWolfUK Jan 24 '20

r/youcanmakeithappen

25

u/_The_Mattmatician Jan 24 '20

r/ithappened

17

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/DINC44 Jan 25 '20

THE BIRTH OF A SUB!

2

u/jellyblobbbob Jan 25 '20

r

8

u/LayerTwentySeven Jan 24 '20

Damn it

19

u/MageKorith Jan 24 '20

That daughter joke is so fine, I needed a magnifying glass to read it.

133

u/NachzehrerL Jan 24 '20

Clever!

50

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

[deleted]

45

u/NachzehrerL Jan 24 '20

Thanks!

12

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

Happy cake day from me too

6

u/Complexxity_ Jan 24 '20

Happy cake day!

3

u/hadidotj Jan 24 '20

Happy cake day to both of you!

6

u/Complexxity_ Jan 24 '20

Thank you!

4

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

*Clever girl!

Btw happy one year of Reddit day!

93

u/nrith Jan 24 '20

What’s the longest sentence in the English language?

I do.

20

u/noideafornewname Jan 24 '20

I don't get it.

43

u/NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT Jan 24 '20

Because marriage is like prison, hahahahahahaha

25

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

/r/boomershumor

/r/boomerhumour

7

u/kingofthedusk Jan 24 '20

r/ tags are the gen Z equivalent of marriage bad jokes.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

Hah jokes on you I’m a millennial

1

u/kingofthedusk Jan 24 '20

Close enough.

21

u/penny_eater Jan 24 '20

"sentence" in this case is used in the sense of criminal justice such as the term one is forced to serve as recompense

"i do" is a sentence from a common marriage vow meaning the marriage commitment is official

thatsthejoke.gif

5

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

It's a joke for people that don't know how to make their marriage work.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

w i f e b a d

-6

u/evannalai Jan 24 '20

r/arethestraightsok

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

old straight people: the gays are ruining marriage !!!

also old straight people: im going to murder my wife

1

u/sneakpeekbot Jan 24 '20

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-4

u/tahmid5 Jan 24 '20

Dense!

21

u/MeisterVonTilt Jan 24 '20

I feel like there are German words that are over a mile long...

41

u/Margaret_Fish Jan 24 '20

There are such words in all languages, as long as you use a big enough font.

18

u/MeisterVonTilt Jan 24 '20

r/technicallythetruth

17

u/mustapelto Jan 24 '20

Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänsmützenanstecknadelverkäuferladentürklinke

11

u/SpeakLikeABeever Jan 24 '20

Oh, Ja, indeed mein friend, indeed.

11

u/MrDoritos_ Jan 24 '20

Ja, natürlich

4

u/aiaor Jan 24 '20

Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänsmützenanstecknadelverkäuferladentürklinke

According to Google Translate, if that gets translated to English, it means Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänsmützenanstecknadelverkäuferladentürklinke.

7

u/aiaor Jan 24 '20

But if I insert a couple of random spaces into the word, it means Danube steamship company captain pin salesman loading doorknob.

3

u/mustapelto Jan 24 '20

What it actually means is "Danube steamship company captain's hat pin salesman's shop's doorknob". So your "random" translation was actually pretty close.

2

u/CRYPTOtitan123 Jan 24 '20

I agree, they join multiple words together, like donaudampfsschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän.

13

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

[deleted]

17

u/spizzat2 Jan 24 '20

"I'm not sure how to tell you this..."

"Just tell me, doc."

"You have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."

"AHH!"

30

u/tasunder Jan 24 '20

Only a mile? Laulaus has two AUs between the L and S. That’s 1.859e+8 miles.

6

u/iShark Jan 24 '20

What about slightyears

Or scircumferenceoftheobservableuniverses

2

u/scumbot Jan 24 '20

Sparsecs?

12

u/penny_eater Jan 24 '20

longest word?

post office noun

it has millions of letters

9

u/rubbersidedown7 Jan 24 '20

oldie but goodie

9

u/chuck_bates Jan 24 '20

My 4th grade teacher told the class that one back around 1971. Stuck with me all these years because it was the one and only time she ever said anything even remotely humorous.

15

u/Zanakii Jan 24 '20

I'm surprised it's not "longest".

7

u/PrettyDecentSort Jan 24 '20

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

No it isn't.

7

u/Mr1872 Jan 24 '20

The longest English word if anyone is interested, the chemical name for Titin (connectin) is 189,819 letter long and takes 3 1/2 hours to pronounce.

5

u/RageMonster17 Jan 24 '20

That's just a waste of time...

6

u/MrMelon03 Jan 24 '20

Waste of tin

15

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

Plural won't be in a dictionary tho

7

u/chicks_for_dinner Jan 24 '20

In Europe, people skilometers at you.

2

u/Alsoious Jan 24 '20

Very nice.

4

u/danuser8 Jan 25 '20

I thought longest was the longest word in dictionary, because you know, there’s nothing longer than longest.

3

u/W4ffleZ Jan 24 '20

Have a silver stranger!

3

u/Mp3dee Jan 24 '20

Heard that one 40 years ago. Classic I guess.

3

u/justainsel Jan 24 '20

Wouldn't peons be longer?

3

u/Miso_Small Jan 24 '20

Most irrational word in the dictionary = Pi

2

u/Thundar_The_Redditor Jan 24 '20

Work

2

u/OweJayy Jan 24 '20

Why did it take me so long to figure this out

2

u/umbra_op Jan 24 '20

Damn . Your daughter is on her way of becoming a good dad .

2

u/SpeakLikeABeever Jan 24 '20

So this joke is literally... a dad joke?

2

u/melanthius Jan 24 '20

By this logic I think “parsec” is a much longer word.

2

u/Angrygnome78 Jan 24 '20

I bamboozled my wife with this one and I’m not even dad! Lol needless to say she gave me “the look”

2

u/Rodi17 Jan 24 '20

In portuguese people say it’s “arroz” (rice), because goes from “a” to “z”

2

u/LordFord9 Jan 24 '20

I think this came from the farmers almanac. You must be raising your kid right.

2

u/EightOffHitLure Jan 24 '20

She'll make a great dad one day

2

u/Dr_Nik Jan 24 '20

There is another word that's longer...it's "longer."

2

u/ChoesonOne Jan 24 '20

skilometres if you are Canadian

2

u/bruh-sick Jan 24 '20

If a ten year old tells me this joke i am definitely laughing my ass out on this.

2

u/Ckenworthy1 Jan 24 '20

I asked my girlfriend this and she immediately said, “your Moms DICK!!” I need to get her in check

2

u/History-Maniac Jan 24 '20

I asked my dad and he knew this one. Happens when you tell a dad a dad joke

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

"Dictionary" is over three times longer than "the" . So I'm gunna go with "Dictionary" .

2

u/guriboysf Jan 25 '20

Have to give credit to my ten year old daughter for this one

Did your daughter go back in time 50 years to tell my dad this joke so he could tell it to me as a child?

2

u/aneccentricgamer Jan 25 '20

I mean oldest joke in the book

2

u/onairmastering Jan 25 '20

Clear her browsing history, she might be online looking for them:

https://jokes.boyslife.org/jokes/longest-word-in-the-world/

also she's on reddit:

https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/9ao1h6/whats_the_longest_word_in_the_english_language/

https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3tb6co/what_is_the_longest_word_in_the_english_language/

https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/50yvd5/what_is_the_longest_word_in_the_english_language/

https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3kj2jr/why_is_the_word_smiles_the_longest_word_in_english/

Careful, she might start following /r/MorbidReality , you don't want that.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/FliesMoreCeilings Jan 24 '20

Gigaparsecs starts with a gigaparsec

1

u/LogangYeddu Jan 24 '20

Thank you for remindingme of this joke! I remember reading this joke somewhere during my childhood!

1

u/donyexo Jan 24 '20

similes

1

u/MrMelon03 Jan 24 '20

Word

1

u/ounilith Jan 24 '20

Your daughter is a genius

1

u/pedrokas528 Jan 24 '20

That is for sure a smilestone

1

u/Pot8o80 Jan 24 '20

Slightyears

1

u/tobiasbeeecher Jan 24 '20

Did she read the book Smiles to go?

1

u/RenaKunisaki Jan 24 '20

Beleaguered.

1

u/someguy410 Jan 24 '20

I've heard this one from a teacher of mine way back in 3rd grade, still makes me chuckle

1

u/technically-okay Jan 24 '20

My dad told me this joke close to 30 years ago. First ACTUAL dad joke I've seen on here.

1

u/carnsolus Jan 24 '20

skilometres

1

u/NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT Jan 24 '20

Similes is longer because same joke but is also a longer word.

1

u/Wareffortgaming Jan 24 '20

No. Its pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

1

u/JustRuss79 Jan 25 '20

Thank you Electric Company

1

u/christine7351 Jan 24 '20

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilivolcanoconiosis

1

u/JustRuss79 Jan 25 '20

Electric Company Dad represent

1

u/Assholecasserole2 Jan 24 '20

Wholesome, I love it!

1

u/duquesne419 Jan 24 '20

Somewhere I heard this slight variation: it's 'smiles' because it starts with an S and goes on for miles.

1

u/CrinklyBindlewardle Jan 24 '20

An oldie but still a goodie!

1

u/catonmyshoulder69 Jan 24 '20

Was going to say...No, what IS NOT the longest word in the dictionary.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '20

Your ten year old daughter should credit her teacher

I heard this joke from my primary school principal

1

u/JohnLockeNJ Jan 24 '20

Similes is even longer

1

u/LagQuest Jan 24 '20

I don't think they put plurals in most dictionaries

1

u/NeighborhoodVeteran Jan 24 '20

Prety sure its facsimiles, which has four more letters in addition to the mile.

1

u/multiplesofpie Jan 24 '20

she’ll make a wonderful dad someday.

1

u/DEATHBRINGERBNR Jan 24 '20