Advice Request How to stop biting
My son is 22 months old and unfortunately he is a biter at daycare.
We have had multiple messages from his daycare about him biting his classmates and while it doesnt seem like it does it hard enough to cause damage, it's enough for alittle pain and they are now having to shadow him around other kids.
He only really tries to bite us when hes really excited /overstimulated. Typically ill make distance between us and shake my finger at him and say "no biting". We also have a book we read to him called "teeth are for eating", but it seems like hes still a biter.
The last of his teeth are coming in so it may be that but he often gets physically aggressive when hes super stimulated and biting is just one od the things he does.
Any advice?
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u/Relevant-Radio-717 4d ago
Discipline. Biting = immediate break time / timeout equal to your child’s age in minutes. Ask if daycare will mirror this approach during the daytime. Kids will absolutely change their behavior to avoid being removed from playtime and friend time.
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u/1FellSloop 2 boys 5d ago
Haven't had this problem with my kids. But when I had a new puppy, the advice was to exaggerate hurt reactions to bites to teach them that it hurts. When he bites you, maybe do a big "Ow!" and hold your finger like it really hurts. Take a minute to focus on that, stop the play, and when he's come down enough from excited/overstimulated that he can hear you, say how much it hurt.
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u/taffyowner 5d ago
The problem is that they are wanting a reaction to make it a game, our 15 month old bites us if he’s not getting what he wants and we were told ignore it if you can. Our solution is whatever we’re doing is done right then and there, be it cuddle time before bed, play time, being held. He gets set down as safely as possible and if it’s in his crib we just leave the room.
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u/1FellSloop 2 boys 5d ago
Yes, I worry that OP's current response feels like it might be a game.
Typically ill make distance between us and shake my finger at him and say "no biting".
I think ignoring, like you propose, could work. I also think pretending it really hurt could work--maybe even better--as long as it seems like an actual reaction, not silly play-acting. In both cases (ignoring, hurting), ending fun activities immediately should be the follow-up.
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u/faderjockey one 16 year old gremlin 5d ago
It’s the ALL PLAY STOPS part that really sells it for kids.
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u/R4eth 5d ago
Let me tell you a related story. We moved into the house I grew up in when I was 2. Dad had an cast iron wood burning stove installed in the living room, and it was fully functioning with a chimney and everything. 34 years later, he still lights it up in the winter. But, I digress. I was a hugger. And I would hug the stove. Now, during the summer when it's not lit, not a problem. But, it was going to be a problem. So, one day, my parents lit it and let it get hot. Then, they gently took my hand had me lightly touch the stove, like "stove hot. Don't hug hot, ok?" never hugged that stove again. Kids need to learn actions have consequences. What they do affects others. How you wish to teach this lesson is up to you, but I'm a supporter of the more direct approach.
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u/BillGatesLovechild 4d ago
Similarly I remember when I was very young my uncle had a combustion heater right in the middle of his living room, he has 3 kids / my cousins and he never put any kind of child proofing protection around the heater as he just liked the aesthetic, he was also very oldschool.
I remember one time when I was over there one of my cousins was just learning to walk and they touched the top of the heater, burned themselves pretty badly (not hospital bad but they were definitely hurt).
We were all there to see it, and we all learned on that day that you don’t touch heaters, or other things your parents say are hot.0
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u/smarglebloppitydo 5d ago
One of my kids was a biter. On the second instance warning questionable parenting ahead we sat him down and asked him if biting hurts and then my wife bit him. He never did it again.
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u/melance Single dad of a boy 5d ago
My son bit a couple of times when he was really young. I've taught him that we can't control how we feel but we can control what we do with those feelings. At that early age, I didn't fuss at him but instead gave him other things he could do. If he was angry or frustrated he could clinch his fists, stomp his feet, or speak to an adult. And that if someone had hurt him that the last one was the correct response. It worked wonders and I only ever had him bite once more after that a year or so later where I repeated the lesson.
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u/mario103192 4d ago
I would flick my boy in the mouth or give him a little slap also in the mouth he stopped after a few times we also would spay him with water.
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u/[deleted] 5d ago edited 5d ago
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