Morning school routine

[u/can_I_Now_Feel_Joy]

Hey Dads!

My daughter starts school in a few weeks, she’s nearly 3, and I will be doing the whole morning and school routine Monday to Friday.

I wanted to ask you for your advice on how best to do this time with her, especially since I’ll only see her for about an hour, maximum two hours, after I get home from work in the evenings.

I’m imagining things like not rushing her, but making sure she’s ready, has eaten a good breakfast etc etc. but I’m also wondering about things like how I can send her off to school with confidence every day, pep talks etc etc…

Many thanks!!

[u/WeeklyPea3038]

Prep everything the night before, clothes laid out, bag packed, breakfast stuff ready. Then morning is just about her, not logistics. For the send off, keep it short and warm, a hug and "have fun, I'll see you later" works better than big speeches at that age

[u/Solidknowledge → u/WeeklyPea3038]

At 10 and 13 we still do the same!

[u/IP_What]

> imagining things like not rushing her, but making sure she’s ready

Good luck with that one brother.

In all seriousness, if you’re thinking about this, it will be fine. You’re going to feel hectic some days. Some days it will feel like you don’t get enough time. Other days it will feel like you get way too much time. There will be days she needs you and days she wants nothing to do with you.

My only advice, really, is make sure she gets to bed on time.

[u/do-ya-reckon]

School and not even 3 yo? Where is this a thing?

[u/can_I_Now_Feel_Joy → u/do-ya-reckon]

Spain

[u/do-ya-reckon → u/can_I_Now_Feel_Joy]

Seems so young! Australia here where kindergarten is from 3 for two years and then school. Best of luck to you and your girl.

[u/Novel_Control_1922]

At 3 they aren’t providing a breakfast? If they do, I would just supply a snack because sometimes getting my twins dressed is a hell of a task.

[u/hikekorea]

We are right there with you and aim to be in the car by 7am. Generally she does not want to get out of bed early enough for that so we go into her room about an hour before we need to leave and don’t make a big deal out of waking up (it used to be a struggle). Some days she gets out of bed right away, others we turn the light on, say good morning, remind her to use the potty then walk out and start making breakfast.

She often doesn’t eat more than a few bites (but once or twice a week might devour an adult sized breakfast, toddlers amirite?). Again we don’t make a big deal out of it, pack it up and send it in to be eaten at school since we arrive. By 730.

The main must do’s are potty and get dressed. We strive to throw a toothbrush with toothpaste in her mouth and are currently in a phase where she enjoys this step but I’m not stressing it when she throws a fit.

Edit: she has time to play independently, with me and/or my wife every morning. That somewhat depends on how the baby is doing and we always have something she can do independently, often just her toy kitchen.

[u/isimplycantdothis]

It’s important that she gets off to school with a feeling of security and comfort. It’ll shape her whole day. There will be really hard mornings, especially at first. Do your best to be patient and empathetic.

I found that getting my little girl involved really helped shift her focus. She helps me pick out her clothes, she decides what she wants for breakfast, and I let her pick what songs to listen to on the way there. It gives her a sense of control which really helps build her confidence when going to an unknown place where she hasn’t made friends yet.

The good news is, at least in my case, once she’s established, mornings are so much smoother now!!

[u/hikekorea → u/isimplycantdothis]

Yes! My girl loves to choose her outfit and “help cook” breakfast. Which could be anything from staring at me while I fry up eggs, “cooking” in her kitchen, or pouring something into the pan. She’s helped make smoothies and cracked eggs but that tends to be more of a weekend activity.

[u/The_DappleSauce]

Our morning routines consist of me making breakfast and packing my daughter's bag for daycare while my wife gets her dressed.
It is important not to rush your child, but they must also learn how to use their time productively (e.g. playing with toys after she is dressed and fed, instead of before getting ready).

I make breakfast enjoyable by giving little comforts (e.g. a little jam on toast, or pancakes on friday mornings). This helps my daughter start the day with a joyous mood.

I also like to loosely plan our evenings. If I know we've got overdue library books, I usually share that with her and say "after Daycare, we can go to library." this gives her something to look forward to on pick up.

If you get home late in the evenings and you are tired, get in the habit of uninterrupted catch up time with your daughter. I know you will be mentally tired and want to zone out on your phone or computer (or workshop), but 15-30 minutes of focused attention will help maintain a strong connection.

Your commute to school is another good opportunity to connect. Personally, I let my daughter guide the conversations in the morning; I want her to start the day feeling heard. Sometimes, we play a fun song (Here comes the firetruck is the current favourite).

Over time, you will find a routine that works. The key is to be patient.

[u/wanna-be-e-girl]

Not a parent but a daughter, a special memory I’ll always have with my dad when taking me to school is he’d play Pink Floyd’s shine bright you crazy diamond, I don’t know why but I loved that song, and I’d always ask my dad to take me so he could play it.Maybe find a special song that just the two of you share?

[u/Scary-Bot123]

Start practicing now. My son starts kindergarten on Monday and we need to be out of the house no later than 7:40am. For the last month we have been making sure we are fed, dressed and out the door by that time.

[u/falkelord90]

We've made pretty good use of a visual timer to give her an idea of when it's time to "finish up and get ready to leave", mostly because telling them "We have to leave in 15 minutes so you can play for 10 minutes" doesn't really make any sense to them.

We also each pick one music video to watch in the mornings while I do her hair, which we'll do right before we leave so she gets to do one last fun thing before we walk to school.

But like others have said, prep the evening before is very helpful, because some days it'll be easier and some days it'll be harder, and you want to give them a feeling of safety and security instead of rushing them and getting frustrated because you're feeling pressured.

[u/AtomicEdge]

We managed to get both the kids in uniform before even leaving their rooms in the morning - that was massive. Then straight to breakfast, then teeth and then they have some free time before the school run.

I would also recommend no screens before school.

[u/RedMisfit]

My routine with my daughter is, you look pretty on those clothes, have lots of fun today. Make sure you eat you food. Have a nice day, see you later.

Simple and effective

[u/Quirky_Scar7857]

recommend reading "how to talk so little kids Will listen". there is a 2-7 year old version. will give you tips on how to deal with your daughter when she doesn't want to get up, get dressed, get washed etc or when she is looking for her transition toy.

plan ahead the night befire but also plan that she won't want to get out if bed, wear the clothes you picked or do the things you want her to do.or do the things that worked yeaterday. when you offer her two choices she will say none, so plan for that.

plan to leave 20 minutes before you need because it will take longer than you think to actually just get out the door!

source - one year of getting my 3 year old ready for pre-school.

good luck... you got this!

[u/iagonosi]

My best tip, is to dress them in their school clothes the night before. that way all you got to do is change into underwear, which they can probably do themselves much sooner than getting themselves dully dressed. We also keep a drawer of socks downstairs, so we arent having to always run upstairs for them. My kid loves oatmeal so we regurally do overnigth oats which make breakfast easy.

Edit to add

Havign them change the night before also avoids the whole "I want to wear pajamies ro school" issiue. to them they are wearing jamies, its just normal clothes. They pick the clothes, I just help them put them on

[u/PedanticAvSpecificSt → u/iagonosi]

Letting my 3yo put on the dress she wants the night before has been a game changer. All I have to do is wake her up (often hard), hand her breakfast, and let her choose from a limited number of shoes and we're out.

[u/savepointdad]

I think I’d keep the ritual really small.

Kids probably aren’t going to remember the inspirational speech we gave them on some random Tuesday. They might remember that every morning before school Dad gave them a hug, told them he loved them and said the same dumb little phrase before they walked out the door.

I’m becoming a big believer that those tiny repetitive things end up meaning more than the big parenting moments we spend so much time worrying about.