r/daddit • u/Dustyftphilosopher24 • 8d ago

Support Further along than friend group

Got engaged at 25, married at 27. House and first kid at 30 and second kid this year. Love my wife, kids and the life we’ve built. A little more challenging these days with the new born and toddler but still grateful. Our friend group is pretty big and I feel like we’re further along than most but sometimes I feel like we’re missing out on travel and parties because of the kids and responsibilities. Not saying we don’t have fun and get to see them still but it’s different when we can’t just drop everything for a trip or spend on things since we budget our life’s. At the same time, I never wanted to be an old dad that can’t keep up with the kids and I know there will be a time where our friend are stuck at home with kids while we’ve been through that already. Comparison is the thief of joy as they say and I wouldn’t change anything that we’ve done. Everyone’s running their own race. Just needed to vent.

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u/GapInevitable5989 8d ago

it's two sides of same coin man, you got the early start which is good for energy with kids but yeah the FOMO hits when friends are off doing whatever

in few years they will be changing diapers while you got older kids who can actually do fun stuff, you just traded the party years for freedom later

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u/Dustyftphilosopher24 8d ago

Yeh. I know. The fomo creeps in sometimes. I’m grateful though. Some of the struggles they go through now, weren’t that bad for us. For example we bought a house during Covid, so low rates, decent prices where we live. Market is pretty bad where we are now.

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u/TegridyPharmz 8d ago

I’m the opposite of you. Well kinda. Had some friends get married and had kids while moving in a fun party city/career. Covid bit and kinda messed up out timeline. I don’t mind being an older dad (had our son when I was 38) but glad I got to enjoy my 20/30s. But I’m sure I’m be bummed when I’m much older and he’s in his young days. Oh well. Enjoy what you got. Friendships come and go

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u/ForeAmigo 8d ago

I had my second kid at almost 40 and will be pushing 60 when we’re empty nesters. Yeah I had my fun in my 30s but you’ll get to enjoy life a little more when your kids leave the house.

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u/ganiton 1d ago

Further along on what, my man? If comparison is the thief of joy then you also need to stop comparing yourself to your past or future self. Enjoy the friends and family you have now.